by Rachel Caine
Claire checked her watch. She just had time to make it.
Elizabeth met Claire at the door, which swung open before she’d even reached for the doorknob. She was wearing a fancy dress, nice shoes, earrings, a glittering necklace, and she even had on lipstick.
Claire blinked. ‘I thought we were just having somebody over for dinner.’
Liz dragged her inside and closed the door. She leant closer to whisper, ‘We are, but put on something nice. I want to impress him, okay? It’s important!’
‘Um … okay.’ Claire wasn’t sure why she had to dress up to impress Elizabeth’s date, but she was willing to meet her halfway for the sake of good roommate karma. Up the stairs, and into her room. She dumped her backpack on the still-unmade bed and sorted through her limited clothing choices, settling on a fitted white shirt and some black pants. Plain, but nice. Adding one of the necklaces Eve had given her – a Day of the Dead skull, enamelled in all kinds of bright colours – jazzed it up a little. Claire fluffed her hair in the mirror and decided that she wasn’t going to resort to make-up; after all, it was Liz’s date, not hers.
When she made her way downstairs, she heard Elizabeth laughing, and she opened the door to the kitchen and saw her in an actual apron over her fancy dress, stirring a pot. A man was sitting at the small kitchen table – not a college boy at all, a man of about forty, probably, with little grey threads at his temples and sparkling blue eyes in a suntanned face. Even sitting down, he seemed tall. He was wearing a denim work shirt with the collar open, and a sports coat, and he had a little smile on his face that Claire somehow didn’t really like.
She’d rarely taken an instant dislike to anyone, but … she might have to make an exception, she decided.
‘Claire, this is Patrick,’ Elizabeth said. Which caught her by surprise. Somehow, Claire had thought that she’d introduce the man as her father, which he was certainly old enough to be. Or an uncle, or something. But just plain Patrick? ‘Dr Patrick Davis, I mean. He’s one of my professors.’
‘Really?’ Claire raised her eyebrows and carefully nodded to him. ‘Which class?’
‘Biology,’ Patrick said. ‘Elizabeth’s a very bright student. I hope you don’t mind that she invited me over for a meal.’
Claire avoided answering that by joining Liz at the stove. ‘What are you making?’
‘Chicken and stuffing, peas, and carrots,’ her housemate said. Her smile looked excited, but it trembled a bit in the corners. ‘Sound okay?’
‘Delicious. What can I do?’
‘The bread? Just put it to warm in the oven.’
Claire did that, and fetched herself a glass of Coke from the fridge. She didn’t ask Dr Davis if he wanted anything, because as she was putting ice in the glass she caught him staring at Liz in a way that was not very professorial. More predatory.
Oh, God. Seriously? Gross.
‘Funny,’ Claire said, ‘but I don’t think I ever invited any of my professors home for dinner. Not even the ones I liked.’
Liz gave her a pleading look. ‘Well, that’s too bad. You haven’t had the fantastic teachers I have, I guess,’ she said. ‘Patrick is great.’
‘I’m sure.’ Claire sipped her Coke for a minute, thinking about it, and then said, ‘You know what, I think I really should be studying, and—’
‘Oh, no, please, don’t let my presence drive you away,’ Patrick said. He sounded earnest and kind, and he even had a hint of a gentle Irish accent, which threw her off her wary game. ‘Liz assures me that she doesn’t cook very often; I want you to share in the bounty. I’d very much like to talk; Liz tells me you’re doing quite interesting work.’
‘I – excuse me?’ Claire paused in the act of picking up the bread tray to turn to look at him. Liz kept her gaze fixed steadily on the pot she was stirring, as if she hadn’t heard a thing. ‘What interesting work?’
‘Well, I hear you’re enrolled in an individual study programme at MIT. I don’t think there’s been more than a handful of people who could claim that in the entire history of the university. Tell me, how did that come about?’
Claire forced herself to move – to set the stove dial, open the door, shove the tray inside on the rack. But she knew she looked awkward and nervous. Very awkward. Her brain was scrambling to keep up with the changing scenery. She’d pegged Dr Davis as one of those teachers … the ones who used their jobs to pick off the easy prey, like Liz, who craved acceptance and protection. She was sure he was on a quest to seduce her housemate, if he hadn’t already.
So this seemed like a very sharp left turn, at best. And in a worrying direction.
He was clearly waiting for her answer, so she said, ‘I’m actually just here temporarily. It’s sort of a special project. I’m working with one of the professors. They do those kinds of visiting student projects all the time. Maybe you heard about the boy from Africa who powered his village’s technology from found objects …’
‘Oh, yes, I know all about the public relations projects,’ he said. ‘But I think what you’re doing is a great deal more … interesting. Isn’t that right?’
Claire jerked and knocked a lid from the counter; it fell to the floor and rang like a bell, and it provided a nice sonic distraction from what she was sure was going to be a very telling silence. She fumbled for the pot lid, and Liz bent down at the same time, and in the confusion Claire whispered, urgently, ‘What the hell does he want?’
‘What? Nothing!’ Liz snatched the pot lid from her hands and rinsed it off in the sink before slamming it down on the pot she’d been watching. ‘If I’d known you’d be so judgemental I wouldn’t have asked you in!’
‘You didn’t ask,’ Claire hissed back.
‘Whatever.’
‘Everything all right, ladies?’ Dr Davis asked, and Liz turned, took a deep breath, dried her hands on the apron, and smiled like a plastic mannequin as she carried the pot over to the table and set it down.
‘Just fine, Patrick,’ she said. When Claire gave her a look, she got defensive. ‘He told me to call him that. I know it seems strange to call a professor by his first name, but—’
‘But I do like to be informal,’ he broke in. He rose from the table and took the pot holders from Liz to move the chicken breasts to the table, and then the peas. ‘Please, let me help. Be seated, ladies. May I get you another drink, Liz?’
‘Oh, just water,’ Liz said. As he busied himself at the sink with glasses and ice, Liz grabbed Claire’s shoulder in an iron-hard grip. ‘Do not screw this up for me. I need a good grade, and I like him!’
‘And he likes you,’ Claire whispered back. ‘Probably a little too much, don’t you think? He came to dinner? Who does that?’
Liz’s eyes turned furious, and she squeezed tighter. Deliberately pinching flesh. Claire bit back a wince. ‘Like I said, don’t screw this up,’ she said. ‘I deserve something good for a change. I’ve had enough bad things in my life.’
Maybe she did deserve a good time, but Claire was one hundred per cent convinced that this wasn’t it. Dr Davis was pleasant and casual, but he was also oily and manipulative, and he creeped her out. And what was that dig about her personal study programme? What did he know?
Maybe a lot. Maybe too much. Claire felt as if she was playing a deadly game without knowing the rules or the players. It made her long for the straightforward violence of home.
‘Now then,’ Patrick said, and deposited the cold glass of water in front of Liz, patted her shoulder, and walked over to his own chair in a triangle between the two of them. ‘What were we talking about? Ah, yes—’
‘The chicken looks delicious,’ Claire said. ‘How did you cook it?’ That elicited a nervous flood of cooking info from Liz; Rachael Ray would have been proud, because Liz seemed to have memorised the entire recipe, start to finish, and it had a lot of steps. Same for the stuffing. Dr Davis’s smile grew fixed and grim, but he waited out the tidal surge of information. His gaze mostly held on Liz, but Claire felt it when
he shifted to her.
She didn’t like it.
The business of serving out the chicken and vegetables took most of the time, and then when Dr Davis tried to reframe his question, Claire jumped up to get the bread from the oven and passed that around, too. Liz nervously chattered on, clearly scared to death that Dr Davis would think he wasn’t wanted (and he wasn’t, on Claire’s part), which had the nice side effect of blocking his attempts at boxing Claire into conversation again.
For a while, he gave up, preferring to trade idle chatter with Elizabeth – none of it invited or required any participation from Claire, so she ate dinner with single-minded focus. The chicken really was good. She really needed to learn how to make that.
By the time her plate was empty, the other two at the table were only half finished, and Claire drained the rest of her Coke and rose to take her plate to the sink. ‘Thanks, Liz,’ she said. ‘I really have to go study.’
‘Oh,’ Liz said. ‘Really? Well, if you have to.’ It was the token protest, with an undercurrent of please go away and leave us alone now. Which was a relief, and Claire headed for the kitchen door.
She didn’t quite get there before Dr Davis said, ‘I understand that you’re studying with Dr Irene Anderson. She has quite the reputation as – let’s say, an eccentric, even at MIT. How do you find working with her?’
It would have been rude to keep on walking, but she opened the door and stood in the threshold as she answered. ‘Fine. Look, I really have to—’
‘I’m very intrigued by Dr Anderson’s research.’
‘You know her?’
‘Quite well, actually. She has a great interest in cryptobiology – projecting the abilities and vulnerabilities of imaginary creatures. Such as, say, werewolves, zombies, vampires. We debate the subject often. It’s a lively discussion topic. What would you say the primary vulnerability is for a vampire, say?’
Claire smiled thinly back at him. ‘Sorry, I hadn’t really thought about it. I don’t have time for that kind of thing. I have way too many real-world things to worry about right now.’ She intended it as a total shutdown and dismissal, but he didn’t take the hint. Of course.
‘Well, hypothetically – you’re a very smart young lady, Claire. Hypothetically, do you think that vampires could be controlled and put to good use as, say, soldiers? Or secret agents? I suppose they’d be great at all sorts of dangerous occupations that humans would hesitate to do. Provided one could totally ensure their compliance.’
‘I suppose.’ She really didn’t like where this was going. ‘Liz, thanks for dinner.’
‘It was lovely to meet you,’ Dr Davis said. ‘Miss Danvers.’
‘Sure,’ she said flatly, and let the door swing shut behind her.
She went up the stairs to her room and locked the door, put on her headphones, and tried to block out the world. If he came knocking, she’d ignore him. And she’d damn sure be telling Dr Anderson about this. And maybe Amelie, too.
An hour later, she stripped off her headphones, yawned, and pressed her ear to the door to see if the coast was clear to go to the bathroom. It was. The kitchen was silent, and the bathroom was empty. After her visit, though, she heard sounds coming from Liz’s room on the second floor, and she went up the stairs, fast.
Dr Davis was definitely taking advantage of more than just the chicken dinner. And from the sound of it, Liz was enjoying every minute of it.
Ugh.
Claire put the headphones back on and turned the music way up, just to be sure she didn’t hear any part of that. It didn’t really help. And it made her fidgety, angry, worried, frustrated … in all kinds of ways, actually.
Shane hadn’t called. Why hadn’t he called? She checked her phone, and yes, the battery was still good. Everything was fine.
She angrily stripped the headphones off and, driven by a mix of emotions she really didn’t want to examine too closely, selected his number and pressed call.
And this time, he answered. ‘Claire?’
He sounded … he sounded close. And out of breath. As if she might be able to reach out and touch him, just … collapse in his arms and let all this go away for a while. Make everything right again. And she wanted it, wanted it so so much. So much that for a long, shaky moment she couldn’t even make her voice work right.
‘Claire …?’ His voice was softer now, almost a whisper. ‘God, please talk to me.’
‘I’m here,’ she whispered back. Somehow she didn’t want to raise the level of her voice; it sounded intimate this way. Close. Personal. ‘I called you. You didn’t answer.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. Please – it doesn’t mean that I don’t care, I just—’ He moved, and she heard his breath catch. And she heard that his voice wasn’t quite right, either. ‘I just couldn’t call you back.’
She sat up straighter, because all her alarm bells were ringing now. ‘Shane, are you all right? What happened? Are you hurt?’ Because he was. She could hear it, especially when he tried to laugh.
‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re not, don’t even try to tell me that. What happened?’
‘Got my ass kicked,’ he said. ‘It’s not exactly breaking news. Except oddly enough it had nothing to do with vampires, can you believe it? Well, it did, because a vampire saved me from getting stomped to death. So there’s that. It’s a fun story. I’ll tell it to you sometime.’
She wanted to cry, it hurt her so much not to be with him. To not take care of him when he needed her. ‘You don’t sound good. How badly are you hurt?’
‘Cuts, bruises, a pretty nice concussion that rang my bell. Nothing broken, which is a miracle. I’ve had worse. Hell, Claire, you’ve had worse. Don’t worry, I’m all right. I really am.’ His voice lowered again, into that low purring whisper. ‘Are you? Okay?’
‘Yeah,’ she whispered back. ‘I miss you. I miss Eve and Michael. I miss home. Is that bad? It’s probably bad. You’re going to think I’m whining like a little kid.’
‘No. I—’ She had the weird feeling that he was about to confess something too, but then … then he sighed. ‘I think you’re amazing. And I think it’s good that you’re doing this. It’s your dream, Claire. I wouldn’t want to stand in your way.’
‘Do you think you did? You didn’t. I was standing in my way. And … I’m not so sure that this is my dream after all. It’s turning out to be … kind of a nightmare.’ A particularly loud moan came up through the floorboards, and Claire buried her head under her pillow with the phone cradled close to her ear. ‘I really hate living with Elizabeth. And she’s getting it on with a skanky professor right now.’
‘Right now?’
‘One floor down. It’s gross. I can’t even tell you how gross it is. There are no words.’
‘Okay, then listen to my voice,’ he said. She closed her eyes, and fell into the sound of his breathing. ‘You don’t have to listen to anything else, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in your life.’
‘I’m just—’ Her voice choked, and she told herself very firmly that she would not, absolutely would not cry. She cleared her throat. ‘My professor and I are working on the thing I brought. You know? But it’s not like it was back home. I feel as if I can’t really trust anyone here. I don’t know if anyone has my back. There’s Liz, but she’s turned out to be a total flake; honestly, I don’t even know if I like her at all any more – I mean, I feel for her, she’s had a rough time of it and all, but we’re nothing alike, Shane. Nothing. My professor – I don’t even know. I don’t know if I can trust her or not. Sometimes I know I can, and then …’
‘So, really, no different than your last job, right?’
She laughed a little, but it felt wretched. ‘And I don’t really know anybody, and the people I do know, the people I want to fit in with – I just don’t, and I can’t. What’s worse is … I don’t matter here, Shane. I feel like I just don’t matter. Stupid, right?’
‘No,’ he said. He sounded so gentle it broke her h
eart. ‘It’s how most people feel most of the time, Claire. You’ve grown up being special, and this is how most people live their lives … alone. On their own. Unnoticed. And they get used to that feeling. It’s just new for you.’
‘Yeah,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t complain. That’s really selfish and I don’t mean it that way, I don’t …’
‘Shhh.’ The breathy sound he made gave her chills, and she curled up tight under the covers, imagining the warmth of him next to her, imagining his hands sliding down her arms. Comforting and sweet and tender, and safe. So safe. It was hard to think he was so very far away when she needed him so much. And he needed her. She could feel it coming out of the phone like a fever heat. ‘Don’t do that. You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met, Claire. You teach me every day how to be a little bit better. And I miss you, you know that? I can’t stand not seeing you, not touching you …’ His voice was soft, and it was shaking, and she felt shivers now in deep, secret places. ‘I love everything about you. Did I tell you that before? Everything.’
She managed, somehow, a fragile little laugh. ‘You’ve had a concussion for sure.’
‘No, I mean it. Claire, I – look, my life is one long series of screw-ups and bad decisions, and I know that. I own that. But you … I just want you to be happy. And it cuts me when you’re not.’
‘I’m happy with you,’ she whispered, very very quietly. ‘And I love you. Leaving Morganville wasn’t about you, you know that. It was about me. And maybe I’m finding out that all these dreams I had … maybe they’re not really what I want after all.’
‘Yeah?’ She heard the smile in his voice this time. ‘So what do you really want? A storybook life in Vampireville, with your life on the line every day and a half?’
‘I’m considering it.’
‘Good,’ Shane said. ‘That’s good. So … are you saying you’re pulling up stakes? Coming back?’
God, she was tempted. So tempted. ‘I – look, you know how I am, don’t you? I don’t like quitting. I don’t like running away. And I’m not sure it’s a good time to leave Liz here alone.’