Designing Hearts

  As Jill surveyed each room, she almost forgot that she was in a renovated motel. “This is lovely,” she said, and sank into a yellow floral chair with a hand-crocheted blue-and-white throw.

  “I was able to keep some of my favorite things,” Trish said. “Of course, I had to sell a lot of my furniture, but it doesn’t matter; I’m doing okay here. If it weren’t for the location, I’d consider staying a while. But the neighborhood isn’t all that safe, and I really want my own house again, even if it’s tiny.” She looked wistful. “Would you like to see the bathroom? That’s my prosperity area.”

  When Jill saw the bathroom, she held back a grimace. The space was drab, the sink and tub chipped, and the commercial fixtures cheap and utilitarian. It was a credit to Trish’s decorating abilities that she had been able to do anything at all with this room.

  “It’s not bad at all,” she lied, squeezing Trish’s arm reassuringly. “I think you need to go bold with the space, though. We want to enhance wood and water, and the toilet and these pipes are taking water away. Water represents flow of resources. But I see you’ve already taken care of that.” Trish had tied red silk ribbons around all the outgoing pipes. “That’ll do it.” She grinned.

  Trish sat on the toilet seat. “I can’t keep real plants in here because there’s no natural light, and it’s dark most of the time while I’m at work. There isn’t any wood in here, either.”

  “Ah, grasshopper, have no fear,” Jill joked. “All we need is a wood toilet seat—oak, I think. I wouldn’t normally choose that; it’s very 1980s. But in this case, it seems ideal.”

  Trish laughed out loud and then covered her mouth with both hands. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “That’s one quick fix. But I also have another idea.” Jill grinned. “I have some plush forest-green towels that my mother-in-law gave me last year for Christmas. They’re still in the package because I hadn’t yet found a place for them. I’m sorry to say, I don’t value them as much since her son broke my heart.” Jill rolled her eyes toward heaven dramatically and clasped her hands over her heart. “Please let me make a gift of the green towels to you. Green would really do it for this room.”

  “I’d appreciate that very much, but only if you agree to stay for dinner. I picked up a nice bottle of pinot grigio for the occasion, since I feel that this is a kind of celebration of new beginnings. I also made a panzanella salad for supper with my sister’s beefsteak tomatoes and butter lettuce. I toasted homemade bread croutons with olive oil and garlic to toss in there, too. Please stay.”

  The earnest look on Trish’s face gave Jill little choice but to accept. “I haven’t had a panzanella in years. I’m sure Tom can fend for himself this evening.”

  “How long will he be staying at your home?”

  “Probably just until Sunday. He had a heart attack last Thursday and ended up having a catheterization and two stents. He’s been staying at my house until he recovers enough to be at home on his own. Fortunately, he’s doing really well and feels much better.”

  “That’s nice of you to invite a colleague to share your home while he recovers.” Trish looked as if she wanted to ask another question, and Jill guessed what it might be.

  “Tom and I have been the best of friends since college,” she explained, “and of course we’ve worked together for many years. We’re partners in the business. I know him too well to let him alone at home. He’s got some lifestyle habits that need fixing.”

  “He looked fine last night at class. He didn’t seem sick.”

  “He still needs to rest. By the way, he’ll be at the Halloween party Saturday night.”

  “He’s such a nice-looking man.” Trish blushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

  “He’s just as nice on the inside. You’ll have a chance to get to know him better at the party.”

  “I appreciate the invitation since I don’t have a lot of opportunities to go out,” Trish said as she set the table. “Money has been pretty tight for the past year.” She shook her head. “But I’m getting my feet under me now, and I’m making new friends, too. It feels good to know that I’m doing it on my own.”

  “It’s important to be self-reliant, especially in this day and age. Any woman who suddenly loses her husband through death or divorce can be vulnerable.” Jill took a sip of the pinot grigio, which was excellent.

  Trish plated the panzanella and served Jill. “Not you,” she observed. “You’re so strong and resilient.”

  “So are you, Trish.” Jill was quiet for a moment. “I’ve done my fair share of suffering and soul-searching since David’s affair,” she admitted. “He wants me to reconsider the divorce, but I haven’t stopped the legal proceedings. Maybe it’s just too late. I may be too far gone from the life we had, or rather, what I thought we had. So much of our life was based on appearances. Now that I see the truth, I think maybe you have to experience the contrast between what you don’t want in order to know what you do want.”

  Trish swirled the wine in her glass. “Or another way of putting it is that you’ve just come too far,” she said. “That might be a better way of looking at the situation. Maybe this had to happen for you to realize what you really wanted in life.” She let out a short laugh. “I remember sitting on my sofa in this apartment in August, right after I moved in, thinking how will I manage? The apartment was so terrible, and I cried all the time. But after I started your class, I began to think that maybe everything would be okay. I know it’s up to me to make that happen, but your class has really helped. I do believe there’s a better life ahead for me.”

  Jill held up her glass. “To happier times,” she said as they clinked glasses and toasted the future.

  As they talked over white wine and salads, Jill couldn’t help comparing how she found out about David’s affair with the way Trish learned of her husband’s betrayal. Trish’s husband already knew he had lost the business before he told her, and they were in massive debt. Trish learned the truth about their financial situation when her credit card was declined for a relatively minor purchase.

  “When I found out why the card was declined and confronted him, he confessed what was going on. I said we would figure out how to make things work together. Then he told me he was leaving me. I was the last to know.”

  “I wonder how many smart women out there have experienced what we have,” Jill mused. “I mean, being totally surprised by the actions of a spouse.”

  “At first, I thought no one else could be that dense,” Trish said, refilling Jill’s glass. “Shouldn’t I have known that something was wrong? Was he that good at hiding things from me, or did I just not want to see what was happening?”

  “I’ve asked myself the same questions, believe me,” Jill said. “I did know there were troubles in my marriage, but I thought they were things everyone experienced, and all I had to do was keep him happy when he was home.”

  “Did you have a good love life?” Trish asked and blushed. “I’m sorry, that was a very personal question. Forget I asked that.”

  “That’s okay. It was the one area of our marriage where I have no regrets,” Jill said. But now, I think it was the only way we could communicate. If our sex life was good, I figured everything else would work itself out.”

  “But you can’t spend all your time in bed,” Trish said. “Did you try to talk to him?”

  “I would broach topics very carefully,” Jill admitted. “For example, one of our sons is gay, and David won’t accept it. I’d try to talk to David about how important it is for him to support Liam. He’s our child. But David always shut down, and I let it go. Now I think I was afraid that if I was more assertive, for our son’s sake, things would spin out of control and I might lose him—David, I mean. But then, everything did spin out of control. If I had talked with him more openly, I would have known we were in trouble.”

  “Same here. I remember how my husband didn’t want me to open bank statements or credit card bills, claiming he was the
breadwinner and liked to open those things himself. Part of me thought that was fine. I trusted him. But if I had said that was ridiculous and told him we needed to pay bills together, I would have known sooner.” Trish stood up and took their empty plates to the sink before turning to Jill. “I still feel ashamed that I was so clueless. I would never let that happen again, and I’m on top of my own finances now.”

  “That’s important for achieving prosperity, and it’ll serve you well as your financial life improves. Strange as it may sound, I have this strong sense that things happen for a reason, and that our own desires, conscious or unconscious, lead us forward to learn and grow.” Jill took another sip of wine. “If negative events didn’t happen, we’d never take new chances or leave situations that made us unhappy.”

  “Are you saying we might actually want something bad to happen like a divorce, even unconsciously?” Trish raised her eyebrows.

  “Not want, exactly. But life does tend to propel us forward in interesting ways, and sometimes in order for something really good to happen, something not-so-good has to first. We can’t possibly know whether that something will lead to a better life. Challenges can be blessings in disguise, I think.”

  “That’s a very positive way of looking at things. So, after what happened with your husband, do you want to fall in love again? I’m a little scared to try it. But I still want to.”

  “So do I,” Jill admitted, “and I intend to have the relationship of my dreams, whatever happens.” Her thoughts turned to Denny as her stomach did a flip-flop. She wondered if it was her gut instinct telling her something important about him.

  Glancing at her watch, she realized that it was nearly time to go. But before she left, there was another important thing she could do for Trish. “While I’m here, let’s feng shui your romance corner, too,” she said. Trish’s eyes lit up. “The prosperity and relationship areas are across from each other, but we’ll see if we can bring them closer together.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  On Friday afternoon, Jill met Denny at Dr. Mona Gagnon’s house in Greenwich. Mona lived in an enormous two-story home flanked with white columns and southern architectural details that at first sight led Jill to think of the grandeur of Tara in Gone with the Wind. The interior of the home was every bit as grandiose as its exterior. There was little doubt that Mona had a flair for the dramatic.

  This morning the attractive blonde chiropractor was dressed in a sleek, low-cut leotard that left almost nothing to the imagination, including her impressive surgical enhancements. Despite the casual ponytail and workout attire, breaking a sweat in her new workout room didn’t appear to be part of the morning’s plans.

  “Jill, I’m so glad to see you!” Mona touched both cheeks to Jill’s. She exuded an obviously expensive, cloying scent. “I’ve been giving some thought to a new color in the workout room, something a bit snazzier. Of course, Denny has provided me with wonderful counsel. What a find he is!”

  Jill glanced around, but Denny was nowhere in sight. “Denny!” Jill called out, but got no response. “Mona, I understand you’ve got a rather bold shade of orange in mind.”

  Mona handed her a panel of orange colors. An ‘x’ was scrawled beside a tangerine shade. Trying to keep the concern out of her voice, Jill said, “We don’t want paint colors that will clash with the tile or countertops.”

  Instead of looking over the color palette with her, Mona grabbed Jill’s arm. “He’s adorable,” she gushed.

  Jill paused to consider her measured response. “Who are we talking about?”

  “Denny, of course.” Mona gave her an exasperated look.

  “Yes, he’s very nice-looking. He’s got a great eye for color.”

  “Oh, come on, Jill. You’re not dead yet!” Mona’s boisterous laugh ricocheted around the empty space.

  Jill smiled in her most professional manner. “I’d love to see the colors he thinks you should consider. I completely trust his judgment.”

  As they discussed Mona’s wishes for a color change from a tasteful buttery yellow to bright orange, Denny returned with yet another stack of orange color samples. “Since you’ve got your heart set on orange, Mona, I thought you might want to see this new shade. It’s technically an apricot—quite soothing, I think. I can mix it with a creamy pearl that will give it a nice luminescence and transition into the freshwater pearl color in the spa. It’ll go beautifully with the countertops and floors.”

  Jill flashed him a look of gratitude. Clearly, anything Denny said would be well accepted by Mona. “What do you think, Mona?” she asked.

  “It’s perfect. You’re a genius, Denny!” Mona’s throaty voice oozed pure sexuality as she laid a French-manicured hand on his bicep. Denny raised his hands in the air in a gesture of humility, but his eyes twinkled.

  Bile rose in Jill’s throat. “So, Denny, it looks as if you’ve saved the day,” she said crisply, replacing the color samples in her briefcase. “Mona, is there anything else about the original plan you’d like me to revisit while I’m here?”

  “I think that’s all for now,” Mona said, her gaze fixed on Denny. “Will you do a broad swath of that color on the wall so I can make sure it’s what I want? I’m not able to visualize things like you are. My profession makes me more of a hands-on kind of girl.”

  “I’ll check in with you later,” Jill said to Denny between tightly clenched teeth.

  She saw that Denny and Mona weren’t paying any attention to her, anyway. The rest of the day, she felt out of sorts, replaying in her mind the way Mona touched Denny and what she thought she saw reflected back to Mona in his eyes. And why shouldn’t he return Mona’s interest? He was single, after all. There was no reason for him to put his life on hold just because hers was in limbo.

  “How’s the project coming along in Greenwich?” Tom asked that evening during dinner. “From the way you’re picking at your food, I’m guessing things aren’t going according to plan.”

  Jill looked up and blew out a long breath. “The client wanted orange walls. Denny MacBride found a more tasteful apricot that suited her. It’s quite lovely, as you would expect.”

  “So all is well.”

  “I guess so.” Jill rested her head on her hand.

  “And you’re getting along okay with MacBride? With his reputation, I expect he has a real ego.”

  Jill looked up and her face colored. “Nothing could be further from the truth, Tom. He’s wonderful to work with.”

  “We still have other painters you can use, you know.”

  “I prefer Denny,” Jill said as Tom raised his eyebrows but said nothing more.

  On Halloween night, with the bar well stocked and a lavish buffet ordered from Meredith’s catering business, Jill turned her attention to the final details of her costume. She enjoyed every part of the costume design process and usually spent weeks thinking up ideas. Halloween was her favorite holiday.

  “Stay out of the kitchen for a little while,” she told Tom. “This is bloody work.”

  Tom, who was feeling much stronger after his week of rest, decided to dress up as a pirate. He spent the afternoon designing his costume and devising a corrugated cardboard peg leg. He had even raided Jill’s closet for a scarf and a clip-on gold hoop earring.

  Jill pinned single serving-size cereal boxes to a long white nightshirt. Then she stabbed plastic knives through the cereal boxes so the knives stuck out at various angles. For the finishing touch, she dripped fake blood liberally all over the knives and cereal boxes and allowed it to coagulate.

  “Who the heck are you supposed to be?” Tom asked, when she allowed him back into the kitchen.

  “I’m a cereal killer.”

  Tom chuckled. “Very clever. Then I guess I’ll be Captain Crunch. Hmm, I don’t think we’ve matured much since college.”

  “Probably not,” Jill agreed.

  Every year, Jill and David hosted this Halloween party for family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. While Jill preferr
ed to remain mostly in the background visiting with guests, keeping serving bowls and trays full and restocking glasses and plates, David had relished the opportunity to play gregarious host. With or without David in her life, Jill intended to continue the tradition of entertaining. With Tom’s help, it wasn’t as daunting a task as she had imagined.

  Meredith arrived at five thirty to set up the buffet, accompanied by one of her sons. “This is Todd,” she said, introducing Jill to a gangly young man of about fifteen with a grin as delightful as his mother’s. “He’s the only one of my three boys who has an interest in the business. I couldn’t get as much accomplished if Todd wasn’t willing to help me out.”

  Meredith and Todd set up a buffet that included crunchy chicken baked in panko crumbs, vegetarian spring rolls with assorted dipping sauces, red-skinned potato salad, mixed greens with marinated vegetables, and bowtie pasta with an artichoke-marinara sauce. She also assembled a relish tray with hummus, ranch dip, olive tapenade, and assorted crackers, and a platter of brownies, cookies, and nut rolls. She arranged black-and-orange cloth napkins next to a stack of square black plates. Then she mixed up a punch out of fruit juice, ginger ale, and vodka and added a floating ring of bulbous frozen green grapes resembling eyeballs.

  “Totally gross, but I’m sure it’ll pack a punch,” Jill remarked as she noticed the empty vodka bottle and admired the pale pink concoction. “Meredith, I’m really glad you took my class. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known about your business. This is really wonderful. Thank you.”

  “I’m supposed to be thanking you for your business.” Meredith held out her hands to Jill, who took them in hers. “And thanks for taking so many of my business cards to pass around. That was a big help.”

  “You’ll have no trouble getting enough business if you just believe in yourself. Aren’t you staying for the party?”

  Meredith grinned. “Thanks, but I have another catering job tonight.”

  At six thirty, Jill heard one of the garage doors go up and realized that David had parked his Range Rover in there. She hadn’t remembered to ask him to return the other garage door opener. When he entered the kitchen, where Jill was polishing wine glasses, she took one look at his costume and groaned. A large round picture of the earth was pinned to his olive Henley shirt, and he had a red stadium blanket over his shoulders.