“The Acolytes kill any vættir who can wield erebos,” the Cyclops answers. He points to a large, rust-colored spot on the sidewalk a little ways down. “Too bad you weren’t here last week. They’ve been busy lately.”
“Wait, what?” Sudden nausea makes me unsteady, and the more I look at the brown spot on the sidewalk the worse I feel. That could’ve been the little Harpy girl. My brain helpfully supplies an image of the last time I saw Whisper to put in her place. So much killing. Why can’t I escape it?
I look around at all the smiling, happy, hopeful faces. It’s almost a tangible thing, their expectations. It steals my oxygen and makes it hard to breathe. Not even the frowns of the few skeptics in the crowd can remove the hope of all those people looking at me, wanting me to be the answer to all their problems.
I can’t save them. I can’t even save myself.
I don’t want to be the Nyx. I just want to find out what happened to my sister’s shade.
An arm slips around my waist, steadying me. I look up in surprise at Blue, who gives me a quick nod before saying, “Maybe Nanda didn’t tell you, but the Acolytes kill anyone they suspect of being able to use erebos.”
“But . . . children?” I glance over at the brownish spot again before my eyes slide away. “And in the middle of the street?”
“They killed my brother Owen a few months ago,” he says, leading me through the gathered crowd with a tight smile. Despite the forced friendliness I can smell his sorrow, rain on hot asphalt. “We were coming back from a movie, and we weren’t careful. He started showing off with his magic for one of his friends. The Acolytes found him and slit his throat in the middle of the street. He was ten.”
“I didn’t know you had a younger brother.” The words are barely a whisper. What I really mean is that I didn’t know Tallon had another brother. This is the second time I’ve been surprised by a revelation about Tallon’s family ties. What other secrets is he keeping?
Tallon’s angry words come back to me. Using any kind of erebos brings the Acolytes. Now I feel even worse for blowing up at him.
“I’m sorry,” I say, stopping. Blue stops too. His eyes are sad, but he forces a smile.
“Now you know why we want you to be the Nyx so badly. We need you.” Blue’s usual teasing tone is gone, his words serious. Vættir crowd around us, some of them reaching out to touch me reverently, others murmuring in disbelief.
I shake my head. “I don’t know that I am the Nyx,” I confess.
Blue grins. “That’s okay. We do.”
He gently nudges me so I’ll start walking again. My legs feel like overcooked spaghetti. I wish Blue would carry me, but instead he just navigates us through the crowd. I can barely stand, so I lean heavily on him. He keeps his voice low as we walk. “That’s why we came to Tartarus, you know. After the news spread about Ramun Mar, people began to talk about you being the Nyx. No one else thought it was anything but a coincidence, but Nanda was convinced. When Alora had her vision, Nanda said it was time to find you.”
Nanda sent them to find me, but only once she thought I was the Nyx. Not because of my mom or because she’s my nest mother, but because I might turn out to be important. I knew that already, but now that I take the time to consider it, the reality of her motives kind of bothers me. Who is Nanda to preach about trust and the hidden intentions of others?
“Nice of her to wait so long,” I mutter to myself, but Blue hears me.
“Nanda was going to try and cross over herself, but Tallon refused to take her.”
“Why?”
Blue grins at me. “Because she complains too much. More than you, in fact.”
“Ha.” We’ve made it past the crowd, who thankfully decided not to follow us. I’m not sure how far it is to Nanda’s house, but I can’t wait to get there. All I want to do is spend the rest of my years in hiding. To keep my mind off everyone staring at me I say, “So, you guys decided to take a trip down to hell because your aunt asked you nicely?”
Blue gives me a look. “Nanda’s meaner than she looks. Tallon eventually just told her we’d go so she’d quit harassing us. I went along because even though Tallon’s the dude with the ability to trip the Rift, I’m a dragon.” Blue grins and flexes the arm that isn’t wrapped around my waist. “Never go down to hell without a little firepower.”
“And yet, you ran from the drakan just like everyone else.”
He grins sheepishly. “I agreed to go before I realized that there’s no æther down there. Tallon might be of the dark, but I’m of the bright. No æther, no badassery.”
I nod, but I’m completely unable to speak. Instead I’m thinking of all the things I’ve learned about the people I thought I knew. Tallon had not one, but two brothers. Nanda only cared about rescuing me after she thought I was going to fulfill the Prophecy of the Promise. And Cass only kept me safe in Tartarus because she wanted to see her boyfriend. My stomach does that weird lurching thing again, and I fight back tears.
I stop walking, and Blue stops as well, looking down at me. “Are you okay?” he asks.
I shake my head, because I’m not okay. I’m off-balance and out of control, afraid of all the things I still don’t know and feeling more alone than ever. It isn’t fair.
Blue must sense my sadness, because without a word his arms wrap around me, enveloping me in a guy-scented hug. “It’s not that bad, you know. You have me and Tallon. We’ll help you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
I sniff, because it’s exactly what I was just thinking. I tighten my arms around him and sigh. “Thank you.”
“If the two of you are finished, we should get back to the house.”
Blue and I break apart, and Tallon’s stormy expression causes my face to heat. Blue laughs. “We were on our way back.” Blue looks at me with a sly grin. “Someone was saving the day.”
Tallon rolls his eyes and points to a small red Honda. He seems mad, but it doesn’t make any sense. Blue was just giving me a hug, not making out with me. What’s his problem?
“Let’s go,” Tallon says, still not looking at me. “Nanda wants to move forward, and she wants to talk to you about it first.”
Blue helps me walk toward the car, even though I’m feeling better. I frown. “Move forward?”
Tallon shrugs. “It seems like we aren’t the only ones who thought you were the Nyx; we just got to you first. Now that the other vættir in town know you’re here, they want to talk about the future, and how to fight the Acolytes.”
Blue gives me an apologetic smile. “News travels fast in Ulysses’s Glen.”
It looks like I’m about to get a lot more popular.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AFTER TALLON’S REVELATION THE CONVERSATION dies. I’m still not convinced that I’m the Nyx, but the more people believe I am the more it seems to be the truth. It’s hard to think so many people could be wrong.
The turmoil I feel makes my stomach hurt and my head pound. I just want to lie down, close my eyes, and pretend the world doesn’t exist.
We get in the car and head back to Nanda’s house. We’re farther away than I thought we would be, which means I was walking longer than I thought. It’s late enough that Nanda is putting lunch on the table when we walk in: fried chicken with greens and mashed potatoes.
She gives me a grin as I enter the kitchen. Her eyes shine with pride, but it doesn’t make me happy. It just makes me feel anxious. “I heard what you did. The whole neighborhood’s talking about it. I figured you’d be hungry.”
I nod, sitting down and digging in. I’m hungrier than I’ve been in a long time. I’m halfway through my first plate of food before I realize that Cass isn’t at the table. “Hey, where’s Cass?”
“She already ate. She said she had something to look into and said she’d talk to you when she gets back.” Nanda gives me a meaningful look, like this is why I shouldn’t trust her. But I don’t know that she’s doing anything wrong. What if she’s just trying to track down what happen
ed to Whisper?
But what if she isn’t? a little voice says. A little niggle of doubt begins to creep in. Everyone around me has secrets, and I’m not sure I know all of Cass’s.
Guilt clenches my middle. No. I won’t fall into Nanda’s trap. Cass is my friend. She’s out there trying to find out what happened to Whisper. That’s where I should be. Helping Cass, not stuffing my face.
But I don’t get up, because Nanda’s refilling my plate. So I feed my guilt along with the gnawing, hollow ache in my middle. I’ve eaten two more pieces of chicken and another helping of both greens and mashed potatoes before I finally feel full.
I sit back and sigh. Tallon looks at my empty plate, chicken bones piled high. “The erebos takes a lot out of you. You’re going to have to eat like that every time you use it.”
The knowing tone in his voice irritates me. “What are you, the food police?”
Hurt flashes across his expression, and I immediately regret my sharp words. But before I can say anything, he pushes back from the table and leaves.
Nanda begins cleaning up the kitchen, and I jump to my feet to help her. Blue finishes his food and gives Nanda a peck on the cheek. “I’ll help Zephyr clean up here. You go sit down. You deserve a break.”
Nanda beams at Blue, and her fondness fills the kitchen with the scent of bubble gum. She nods at me. “We’ll talk later,” she says ominously before walking out.
Blue loads the dishwasher while I rinse off the dishes. He seems nervous, and I can smell the burned-popcorn stink of his anxiety. We work in silence until the dishwasher is loaded. Once it’s full, Blue clears his throat and leans back against the dishwasher.
“Can we talk?” he asks, and I nod.
“Sure. What’s up?” I turn off the water and dry my hands on a nearby towel. It’s amazing how nice it is to have something normal to do. I never thought I’d actually enjoy cleaning. It’s funny what a few months in Tartarus can do for your appreciation of mundane things.
Blue runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “What’s going on with you and Tallon?”
“Oh.” I force a laugh, convinced my feelings are all over my face. “Nothing, just old friends. Why?”
“If you’re just friends, why did he sleep in your room last night?”
My face is on fire, and every possible lie dies in my throat. “Uh . . . um . . . how did you know?” I croak.
Blue grins. “Well, I happened to catch someone sneaking out of your room this morning.”
“Nothing happened,” I say. Too quickly perhaps. Blue gives me a slow smile.
“Was that your choice or Tallon’s?”
I sigh and put my hands to my burning cheeks. “What’s this about?”
“Nothing, just brotherly interest.”
“Well, there’s nothing going on, okay?”
Blue’s head tilts as he studies me. “Oh, I’ll be the judge of that. How does Tallon make you feel?”
I start to lie, but something about Blue makes me feel like I can confide in him. “I don’t know. Aggravated, confused, followed by this melty feeling, and then I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.”
Blue smirks. “You do like him.”
I bury my face in my hands. “Promise me you won’t tell him.”
“Nope.”
I drop my hands. “You’re joking.”
Blue puts his hand over his heart. “Of course I am. Watching the two of you dance around each other is going to be too much fun.”
I cross my arms. “Really?”
“Yes.”
I watch his face, sniffing for the lie. He’s telling the truth. “You are evil.”
He laughs. “Yeah, maybe a little.” His expression turns serious. “Just make sure you don’t break his heart. Tallon’s had enough pain in his life. He deserves to be happy for a change.”
I want to ask him what he means, but Tallon walks in and the conversation halts.
Blue tries to look nonchalant. “Hey, Tallon.”
Tallon doesn’t even acknowledge Blue. “If you’re finished, Cass is back. She’s been looking for you.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I can’t even look at Tallon. I wonder how much of our conversation he heard. He seems put out about something. He wouldn’t be all pissy if he knew I liked him, would he?
I think of the boy he used to be. He did once put gum in my hair. So anything is possible.
I walk out into the living room, where Cass is making notes on a piece of paper. She looks up when she sees me. “Wait until you hear what I’ve learned.”
I plop down next to her on the couch, trying to forget the drama I just left behind in the kitchen. Why did Tallon look so mad?
Cass shows me the piece of paper she was scribbling on and begins going on about crossings and Rift cycles and a hundred other things that mean absolutely nothing to me. I’m not really listening to her. Instead I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to kiss Tallon. Would he wrap his arms around my waist, or would he cradle my face in his hands like they do on TV? I wonder if his lips are as soft as they look.
Cass stops and glares at me. “Are you listening?”
I startle. “What? Yes, what’s going on?”
“I just told you. Jeanine told me that the crossings have gotten fewer and farther in between. She thinks someone’s taking shades. So maybe the something that happened to your sister’s shade is happening to everyone’s. Not just hers.”
“I thought the Hecate you were supposed to see was named Kyra.” I hate the suspicion that creeps into my voice. Somehow I need to find a way to get over my doubts before she notices. It’s stupid and not fair to her, and even though Cass can’t really feel anything, I still don’t want her to know that I’m having trouble trusting her.
Cass turns her flat green gaze on me. “She wasn’t there. Jeanine told me she fled, along with a bunch of other vættir. Things are happening, Zephyr. Big things.”
That gets my attention. “Okay, so what’s happening? And what does this have to do with Whisper?”
“Her shade isn’t the only one that’s disappeared, and traffic on the Paths to the Underworld has been drifting off. Plus, a bunch of vættir have fled Ulysses’s Glen. There’s definitely something going on that we’re not seeing.”
I nod, my brain trying to internalize everything. “I knew about the vættir fleeing. They’re running from the Acolytes. So, the shades of vættir are also disappearing on a large scale. What does Jeanine think is happening to them? Does she have any ideas?”
Cass shakes her head. “No. But she agreed it would be a good idea to attempt a scrying as soon as possible. I talked to Jeanine about it, and she showed me her calendar. The full moon is ten days from now, and I think that would be the day to try it. The erebos will be weaker than usual, and we won’t have to worry about it blocking our ability to speak with the dead.”
I shake my head. “What are you talking about? I thought erebos was tied to death.”
“It is, but it’s also what keeps the dead from communicating with the living until they cross over. The living belong to the bright, the dead to the dark.” Cass gives me a look that makes blood rush to my face. “What are they teaching the vættir in the schools these days?”
She sounds so much like Whisper that my heart aches for a moment. I shrug, and Nanda walks into the living room just in time to hear the end of our conversation. “Zephyr, didn’t you go to an Aerie school?” I nod, and Nanda turns to Cass. “Don’t blame the poor girl. The Aerie schools only teach the basics. They spend more time focused on killing and battle tactics than on the finer differences between æther and erebos.” It’s clear that Nanda’s defense of me is tied more to her dislike of Cass than anything else, but I still don’t say anything. I should let go of my doubts about Cass and stand up to Nanda. I should be a better friend. I should be braver. But I’m not.
Even though I really want to be.
Either Cass doesn’t pick up on Nanda’s tone or she just ignores it. Ins
tead she nods and gives me a look. “Well then, maybe it’s time you learn more than the basics.”
Nanda turns to me. “We still need to talk. I’ve been getting nonstop calls from the leaders within the vættir community. The Aeries’ Council of Matriarchs, the Fae’s Queen’s Council, even the King of the Cyclopes had his assistant call me. They all want to meet you and to find a way to move forward against the Acolytes. Especially after this morning.”
“Wow, word really does travel fast.” I fight back a sigh. I should’ve known there would be some sort of fallout from my little hero stunt earlier today. But I can’t see a way around this. “So, road trip?”
Nanda shakes her head. “I don’t think meeting with everyone is really such a great idea right now. We’re going to have to figure out what to do with you. Otherwise I’m going to have every Acolyte on the East Coast pounding on my door. I’m going to call Alora. This is her vision I’ve been chasing. It’s about time she provided some input into how we handle things. For now, get comfortable.”
Tallon walks into the living room, and I give him a sidelong glance before I collapse back onto the couch. At least now I know why he’s in such a snit. It looks like he was right after all. Saving the little girl and her mother, and using erebos, is going to bring the Acolytes to Nanda’s front porch.
I don’t know what I hate more, the fact that he was right or that I’d do just about anything to chase away his frown.
I am so messed up.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CASS MAKES GOOD ON HER Promise to teach me about all things magic. For the next three days she spends every waking hour teaching me the difference between erebos and æther. “Small magics should be easy to control,” she says. Cass is right. Small amounts of magic should be easy to control.
But I can’t summon the erebos because it would call the Acolytes.
And I couldn’t summon æther if my life depended on it.
The only time we don’t spend drilling in magic and æther theory are the couple of hours a day that Cass lets me watch my soap operas with Blue. Whisper and I had a TV in our house in the Aerie. It wasn’t anything special, but I loved it because it was a window to the outside world, a world that I’m still not allowed to be a part of. Soap operas were my favorite, probably because they reminded me of the old stories, where heroes fell in love and villains were punished. It’s surprising that after a year I’m still pretty caught up on the storyline. I went to the Underworld and came back, and nothing in the soap opera world has changed.
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