I blink. “What? What about him?”
“I know you like him. I thought maybe you were planning on making a move or something.”
I shake my head. “Blue, I have so many other things to worry about right now that Tallon is the least of my concerns.” I don’t add that I’m starting to wonder if the Tallon I knew as a kid even exists anymore. Maybe all of these feelings are tied up in the memory of him, and not the reality. Because from what I can see, the Tallon I knew grew up to be kind of a jerk. A hot jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.
“Look, I know my brother can be a little intense. But you don’t know him like I do. He deserves to be happy, and it’s hard for him to let go and do that.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
Blue grins at me. “You made him smile, Zeph. That has to count for something.”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t need me, Blue. He needs to have the stick removed from his ass.”
Blue laughs. “Maybe. Or maybe what he needs is someone he doesn’t have to worry about losing. Since our brother was killed, Tallon has kept himself cut off. He’s scared to let anyone in. Maybe you’re just what he needs to show him that it’s okay to care about people again.”
“Me? Why me?”
Blue ruffles my curls. “Zeph, if anyone can take care of herself, it’s you. You’re more powerful than just about anyone I’ve ever met. Plus, you and Tallon have more in common than you think. I’m not saying the two of you have to run off and get married, but you should try talking to him. You know, like regular people do when they like each other.”
I don’t get a chance to answer Blue because Alora comes through the front door, slamming it behind her. Worry creases her face, and she’s gnawed the lipstick off her bottom lip. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her look less than perfect. I sit up and stare at her, a tiny, ugly part of me glad that she looks like hell. “What’s going on?”
“We have to leave tonight,” she says, collapsing into the nearby recliner. “It took me forever to find out how to get in touch with the Oracle, and then when I finally did, she told me I needed to leave tonight.” Alora kicks off her heels with a sigh. “There’s something going on with the Strands. The pattern’s changing, but I’m not good enough to read why.”
I smirk. “I thought you were some sort of psychic.”
“I’m not a psychic; I’m a Fate. I can read the Strands of Time, but I’m only an apprentice. Some things are easy, like deaths and births. And sometimes things hit you over the head out of nowhere, like your Prophecy. But the Strands are all snarled right now. I can’t even figure out if skinny jeans are in or not. It’s hopeless.” She groans. “This is why we need to go and see the Oracle. She’ll be much better at reading those sorts of things. And she can tell us how to stop whatever it is that the Acolytes are doing with the shades.”
Blue stands and stretches. “I guess we’d better pack then. We can leave first thing in the morning.”
Alora shakes her head. “No. We have to leave tonight. I was given the name of a hotel that we’re supposed to stay at.”
He raises a single eyebrow. “We? Who all’s going?”
Alora uncrumples a piece of paper in her hand and reads from it. “You, me, Zephyr, and Tallon. Mom’s supposed to go visit ‘the relative who rarely speaks,’ if that makes any sense. I have no idea who that is.”
“I do. It’s Saundra. She’s a siren, so she tends to keep quiet,” Tallon says, entering the living room from the kitchen. “Where is Nanda, by the way?”
“Gone.” Alora yawns and continues. “I called her as soon as I knew what the plan was. She’s already on her way over there, with a car full of groceries.”
Tallon nods, like it’s normal for people to just up and go unexpectedly. I look at each of them, but no one really seems troubled or even all that excited.
“So this is really happening, huh?” I say.
Tallon frowns at me. “What do you mean?”
“We’re really going to leave just because of Alora’s half-baked prediction?”
Alora straightens, and the skunk scent of her irritation filters toward me. “My predictions aren’t half-baked.”
“If you say so. Look, why don’t we just spend the night here and drive up to see the Oracle tomorrow. You said it’s like an eight-hour drive? We can do that in a day.” I’m not ready to charge into the next chapter of my life. Part of it’s fear that the next chapter will be the final chapter. But mostly I’m just irritated that we’re all going to follow Alora like she’s anything more than some shallow, self-centered fashionista. It’s childish, but I can’t let go of my childhood dislike of her. Nanda warned me against trusting Cass, but it’s Alora who I don’t trust.
As much as I can’t let go of the past, Alora seems to be oblivious to it. She waves the little piece of paper at me. “Zephyr, I got my directions from the Oracle. We’re supposed to spend the night at this hotel. If we don’t leave soon, we won’t make it.”
Anger surges through me. I lean forward and snatch the paper out of her hand. Then I tear it into little pieces that drift down onto the floor. “And now I just changed the future. We are now free to sleep wherever we want. And I pick here.”
Alora scrambles to pick up the pieces of paper. I stand, ignoring the looks Tallon and Blue give me. I know I’m acting like a brat, but I can’t help it. I hate how she’s so certain about what the future will hold, when I don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next five minutes.
I hate that she’s here and Cass isn’t. It’s not fair. Why does everyone I care about leave?
I get a whiff of some emotion off her. Lavender with a tint of rot. I don’t know what the scent is, but Alora’s on the verge of tears. “My predictions are right. No matter what you believe, they always come true. I worked really hard to get that information.”
I shrug. I’m feeling mean, and the guilt and pain over Cass’s death still weigh on me. “Yeah, well, now we can make our own predictions. I predict that I will go upstairs and take a nap.” I turn and head upstairs, ignoring the rank odor of Blue’s disgust. My conscience tells me I should apologize, that I need to give her the benefit of the doubt.
But I don’t. I just keep walking away.
“Cass thought my predictions were right,” Alora calls. I’m halfway up the stairs, but I stop and turn around.
“What did you say?”
Alora’s on her feet now, her hands clenched into fists. The rotting-lavender smell still wafts off her, but now there’s a deeper scent of iron and hot garbage. I’m not sure what the lavender scent is, but I know the scent of someone spoiling for a fight. If Alora wants a brawl, I’m more than happy to give it to her.
Blue tries to maneuver in between the two of us. “Look, maybe we should all just calm down. We can take some time to pack, Zeph can get in a nap, and we can leave later this evening.”
Alora shakes her head. “No, we need to leave now.”
I cross my arms. “I’m not going anywhere until you explain why you think Cass believed your predictions.”
Tallon shakes his head, moving next to Blue. “Now’s not the time Zephyr. You’re angry, and you’re starting to leak.” I frown, unsure what he’s talking about. But then I see my hands. The swirling dark lines are actually emitting darkness, the tendrils wafting up like I’m on fire. Huh. So that’s what the swirls do.
Alora puts her hands on her hips. “I think now’s the time. I’ve done nothing but try to help her, and all she does is treat me like crap. After all these years she’s still a spoiled little bitch.”
“I’m a spoiled little bitch—” I start, but I don’t get to finish because Alora keeps talking.
“I know my predictions are good because I’m the one who warned Cass to stay off the roof that night.” She’s flushed, and when she drops her hands by her sides they ball into fists.
I laugh, the sound dark and dangerous. I can feel the erebos urging me on. I’m not the only one spoiling
for a fight. The darkness wants loose, and I want to give it what it needs. “What are you talking about? We went up on the roof to find out what happened to my sister’s shade.”
Alora shakes her head. “Do you really think that’s why Cass wanted to go onto the roof? To do a summoning? You could’ve done that anywhere. I told her what would happen if she went on the roof, and she believed me.”
The darkness around me stills. I’m confused. “Why would she do that?”
Alora smirks. “Because she knew that for you to be the Nyx you needed a reason to fight Hera. Ramun Sol killing her was the Strand most likely to lead to your success.”
Her words sink in, and my rage snaps back, fresh and hot. The darkness rises up around me, the tendrils forming a cloud. I take a step down the stairs. I want to kill her.
Tallon curses. “Dammit, Alora, why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?”
Alora takes a step back, her eyes wide. I growl low in my throat. “You knew that there was a chance Cass would die, and you didn’t tell me?”
“Cass was going to die, Zephyr. Every single one of the options led to her death that night. Her doing the summoning on the roof and being killed by Ramun Sol was the only one that led to you coming into your full power. You’re the Nyx! The vættir need you.” Alora is babbling, but I barely hear her. All I can think is that there might have been a way for me to save Cass that night, and I never even got a chance.
“You should’ve told me. I would’ve been able to keep Cass alive.”
Alora stops, and her eyes flash violet. “No, you wouldn’t have.”
Her words undo me. I launch myself off the second-to-last step, using the growing cloud of darkness to propel me over Tallon and Blue. I land in front of Alora and smile. Her fear hits me in a blast of spoiled lemons.
It feels too good to hit her.
My fist connects with her jaw, and Alora goes down. She curls up in a defensive position. Blue grabs for me, but the darkness keeps him away, picking him up and throwing him through the living room’s plate-glass window. Tallon tries to fight through the darkness, but my shadows are much stronger than him. That makes me happy. Because now I know I can kill Alora without any interference.
I pick her up by the throat, and she sobs. “You should’ve told me,” I say. My anger is so great that I feel calm, like I’m standing in the center of a hurricane.
“I’m sorry,” she says. Her mascara runs down her face, leaving black trails of tears.
“Tell it to Cass,” I say.
Tallon’s arm snakes around my throat, and I drop Alora. She scrambles away as I struggle against Tallon. “Calm down,” he says, his voice next to my ear.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I snarl, bringing my elbow back and driving it into his stomach. His grip relaxes enough that I can maneuver free. He surprises me by wrapping his arms around my middle and holding me close.
We stand in the middle of a cloud of darkness. My erebos lashes out at him, whipping at him with thin tendrils. The shadows open up cuts on his arms, cuts that don’t heal. He doesn’t let me go, just grunts in pain. If I really wanted to, I could wield the darkness like a knife and open up his throat. But I don’t want to. I want him to let me go.
He’s not the one I want to kill.
I fight to get loose of him, but he’s physically stronger than I am. “Let me go,” I grit out.
“Not until you calm down. You can’t kill everyone who pisses you off.”
“She killed Cass, Tallon.”
“No, she didn’t. Alora wasn’t the only one who knew about the danger to Cass that night. We all did.”
His words leave me chilled, and the world seems to hold its breath. “What?”
“We didn’t say anything because Cass asked us not to. She knew you’d never do something that could lead to her death. She believed in you enough to sacrifice herself, Zeph. Cass chose your future over her own life.”
His words undo my anger, and I go limp in the circle of his arms. I manage to turn around until I’m looking at him. His expression is calm, even though I just tried to kill his cousin. That bugs me, but my sorrow is too vast to acknowledge anything but the weight of my loss. “I’m all alone again,” I say, my throat clogging with tears.
Tallon shakes his head. “Aw, Peep, how could you think that? I’m here,” he says. Then he kisses me.
The darkness stills when his lips touch mine, and my eyes drift closed. His lips are soft and warm against mine, and my arms go around his neck automatically. I sigh, because he makes me feel like I’m flying. Only kissing him is better than soaring above the treetops. It’s better than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt so alive.
The darkness wraps around Tallon as well, healing him and pulling him close. His lips open slightly in surprise, and I take the opportunity to nibble on his full lower lip. He groans and hugs me tighter before ending the kiss.
“You are a pain,” he mutters, before giving me a peck on the forehead. I blink and take a step back. The darkness retreats, purring like a cat as it settles in my middle. I hug myself. It’s a little lonely standing outside the circle of Tallon’s arms.
“Yeah, well . . .” I trail off, unsure what to say. I turn around, where Blue and Alora watch us from the corner of the living room. Nanda’s house is a disaster area, and shame heats my face. I’m going to owe her a new living room. Blue’s arm lies protectively across Alora’s shoulders, and guilt burns through me. He glares at me.
“Are you finished?” Blue snaps. I nod. I still don’t like Alora, and I’m glad I hit her. But I definitely don’t want to kill her.
“I’m not sorry I hit you,” I say, and Alora starts to sob all over again. “But I’m sorry I tried to kill you,” I hastily add. I feel bad about making her cry. “You should’ve told me. About Cass.”
She nods. “I know. Can we go now?”
I sigh and nod. I can’t exactly say no after trying to kill her, can I?
Tallon sighs and runs his hand through his hair. During the storm of erebos his braid came undone, and now his hair hangs loose. “Well, on that note, let’s get the hells out of here before anything else goes wrong.”
We all hurriedly grab a couple of changes of clothes before we pile into Blue’s SUV and hit the road. Alora keeps looking over her shoulder as we head out, like she’s afraid that something is going to attack at any minute. She doesn’t bother sharing what she’s afraid of with the rest of us, and no one bothers to ask. I think we’re all a bit on edge after I lost control. Even I’m a little afraid of myself.
Tallon sits in the backseat with me. He’s the only one even remotely strong enough to handle me if the darkness rises. We each sit stiffly, not touching. The tension of unsaid things is a physical presence between us. We don’t mention the kiss in the living room, just stare out of our windows like the scrub grass next to the highway is the most interesting thing we’ve ever seen.
I rest my head against the window and think about Cass. She had enough faith in me to give up her life.
How do I repay that kind of a debt?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I WAKE SLOWLY AND SIT up with a groan. My head pounds. I don’t know where I am, but I feel like crap. The bed is hard, and the worst artwork I’ve ever seen decorates the walls. It smells like stale cigarettes. Tallon sits at the foot of the bed, watching TV. He turns around.
“Hey, you’re finally awake.”
I nod, but moving my head in any way hurts. I groan. “What happened?”
“You fell asleep in the car. I think you’re still recovering from using the erebos the night Cass died. We tried to wake you up when we stopped, but you wouldn’t budge. You missed dinner.”
I sigh. “Of course I did.”
He gives me a sympathetic smile and hands me a bottle of orange juice. “Here. I also grabbed you a sandwich, if you want it. Is ham still your favorite?”
“Yup. But just the orange juice is good for now.” I open the juic
e and drink it in a few gulps. I twist the cap back on, and Tallon takes the empty bottle, going to a grocery-store bag next to the TV and taking out another one. He flings it at me, and I catch it one-handed. I drink half of it before putting the cool bottle to my aching head.
“I feel like hell,” I mutter.
Tallon smirks. “You should, the amount of erebos you’ve used over the past couple of days. Even Æthereals can’t use magic without paying a price.” It’s a curious thing for him to know, just like the line about the kobaloi. I want to ask him what else he knows about Æthereals, and about using the erebos. But I don’t, because I’m not thinking about magic, I’m thinking about being in a hotel room with Tallon. Just the two of us.
I look around the room and finish the rest of the orange juice. “Where are we?”
“A crappy hotel about an hour or so away from where the Oracle wants us to meet her.” He gives me a pointed look. “You know, the magical hotel on Alora’s scrap of paper?”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Is she still mad?”
Tallon laughs and comes to sit next to me on the bed. “Well, knowing Alora she’s only going to stay mad at you until she remembers how popular she’s going to be once she can tell everyone that she knows the Nyx. But she refused to share a hotel room with you, and there were only two rooms left. So you’re stuck with me.”
I raise my head, slowly, and study him. “Why do you say it like that?”
“Because I know you’re mad at me for not telling you what Alora saw about Cass.”
I sigh. “I don’t hate you. I wish you would’ve told me. But I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Tally.” The nickname slips out, and my face flushes. I sound like a little kid.
He watches me, his dark gaze intent. “You’re so different from what I remember. And yet, you’re exactly the same. It’s weird.”
I nod, because I know what he means. But then Blue’s advice comes back to me. Maybe he’s right. Ever since I got back I haven’t really talked to Tallon. When we were kids, we talked all the time. Not about anything important, just about stupid things.
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