His lips quirk. “You do make an excellent point. Let us just say that the vættir are not the only ones with prophecies. We shall leave it at that.”
I’m not really happy with his answer, but the last time we got into an argument, it didn’t turn out so hot for me. So I clear my throat and change the subject.
“What would’ve happened if I’d been a boy?”
Hades pauses, considering. “We never spoke of it. Your mother was certain she would conceive a girl child.”
I shake my head, trying to maintain a shred of control. He says it in such a matter-of-fact way, but I feel like everything I’ve ever known has been a lie. My entire world has been unraveling ever so slowly since I was sent to the Underworld. And now I feel like I’m coming undone.
Hades watches me. I wonder if the concern on his face is real. “Perhaps you should speak with your mother.”
I laugh. “Why? Like talking to her has ever solved anything before?”
Hades gives me what I figure is his best disapproving-father look. It’s pretty good. “Yeah. Okay. Fine, I’ll talk to her.”
A darkness-filled doorway appears, and I stand. Hades gestures for me to walk through first, so I do. There’s a moment of icy darkness, and then there’s . . . singing?
It takes a few long moments for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the Elysian Fields. Everything seems lit from within. The trees and grass and even the damn butterflies sparkle. When I was younger, my mom once bought me a box of glitter crayons. The pictures I drew back then would’ve fit right in here.
“Wow. It’s very . . . bright.” The sky is too blue, and the rainbow up above is pretty unbelievable. It’s a kid’s cartoon come to life. The darkness in me shrinks away from the unnatural beauty of the place.
Behind me, Hades sighs. “It is pure æther right here, a pocket that never made it across the Rift. The rest of the fields are not quite this bright. Follow me.”
We walk along a pathway through a meadow. All around us are quaint houses, cottages that would make Snow White and her dwarves proud. Everything is a little too colorful and a little too happy. A woman sings as she sweeps her front walk, and children chase one another in the street, skipping and calling out in chirpy voices. This is what it would be like to live in an amusement park.
As we move along the pathway, I notice that Hades’s own shadows have retreated as well. Today he wears modern clothing, jeans and a polo shirt that look out of place on him. His arms are bare. Like mine, they are marked with black tattoos. But his designs are much thicker, almost covering the skin. He notices me looking and holds his arm out toward me. “Your markings will grow as you get stronger.”
“What are they?”
“It’s how the darkness anchors itself to you. Erebos is not like the æther. It is sentient. It will become your friend, but it can be willful. It takes discipline to be able to control such a weapon. Vættir may be born to their aspect, but we Æthereals are given the choice. Bright, dark, or a weak ability with both. Few choose the erebos, even though it can be more powerful than æther.” He drops his arm and looks away. “It is so much easier to choose the light.” Sadness laces his voice. It sounds like he’s speaking from experience.
I think of the jagged lines on Tallon’s shoulders. They’re not tattoos. They’re the telltale markings of erebos use. But that just creates another mystery. Nanda had Tallon fixing the wards with Cass our first day back. Most wards require æther, not erebos. So what kind of vættir is Tallon that he can not only trip the Rift, but also use erebos and æther?
And does Nanda have similar erebos markings hidden somewhere under her clothing? How many other vættir are marked like me?
There is too much that I still don’t know. But they’re questions for another, less hectic time, and I file them away for later.
We continue along the path a while longer. The brightness fades, and the landscape becomes less cartoonish and more familiar. A little too perfect to be the Mortal Realm though. The darkness inside of me doesn’t feel so skittish anymore, and I’m kind of beginning to enjoy my stroll through paradise.
Hades stops before the door of a house painted in shades of cream and lavender. He turns to me. “The woman you knew as your mother is gone, but her shade resides here. She is the same person, but different. An echo of who she was in life. Do you understand?”
I consider his words and then nod. I don’t really know what he means by that, but I guess I’ll figure it out.
Hades knocks, and a woman with giant wings, dark skin, and candy-apple red hair answers the door. “Yes?”
“Mourning Dove. I have brought our daughter. She wishes to speak with you regarding her conception.”
My face burns at the way he puts it, and the woman at the door smiles wide when she sees me. “Darling, how are you? Oh, you have grown since I saw you last.” The woman gathers me up in a cinnamon-sugar-scented embrace, and I awkwardly hug her back. I can’t ever remember hugging my mom, and she never called me darling. But this strange woman looks just like my mother.
She stands back and smiles at me. I take a step back, unsure how to react. “Come in, won’t you? I was just making a pie.” She steps back and I start to follow her in. Hades doesn’t move.
“I will fetch you when you are done,” he says, before disappearing in a swirl of shadows.
My mother closes the door behind me. She gestures at the kitchen table. “Please, have a seat.”
I take the only chair, and as soon as I sit, another one appears across the table. It startles me, and she laughs. “That’s the Fields for you. Always providing what you need.”
She sits across from me, all smiles. It’s seriously creeping me out. I can’t remember my mother wearing any expression except for a scowl. “Are you all right?”
“Me? Of course! Why do you ask?”
“You, um . . . you’re smiling a lot. I don’t remember you smiling this much when you were alive.”
“Oh well, that’s because living is pain. But this is death. And death? Well, it’s painless.” She sighs, but it’s the kind of breathless sigh people give when they’re happy. “Some days I miss living, but then I remember what a struggle it was. Always worrying and fighting. Here we only fight because it’s something to do.”
I nod like I know, but I don’t. Now I know what Hades meant when he warned me about this woman being an echo of my mother. My mom would’ve kicked this smiling woman’s ass.
I clear my throat. “So, I just found out that Hades is my father. I guess I just wanted to know why.”
Mom purses her lips. “Well, let me think. That was a very dark time in my life, so I don’t necessarily remember it as well as some of the other times. I came down to Tartarus to save the sister of a friend. A minor goddess who’d fallen for one of the dark lords, a fringe god named Typhaon.”
I nod. That sounds like something my mom would do. She was fiercely loyal to her friends. “Okay.”
“Well, long story short, the rescue didn’t quite go as we planned. I was gravely injured and pretty close to death. As you may know, dying in Tartarus can leave your shade in limbo. So I prayed to Hades for help.” Her eyes are far away as she smiles. “It was the only time I prayed to a god other than Athena.”
“And Hades answered.”
She blinks, and the dreamy look fades from her eyes. “Yes. He was so handsome, all swirling shadows and brooding godliness. Anyway, with his help I made it back to the Mortal Realm with my friend. Three years later, you came along.”
I blink. “You were pregnant with me for three years?”
Mom laughs, the sound tinkling and completely foreign. “Oh no, dear. Hades came to visit me in the Mortal Realm. Your sister adored him. He used to create animals out of the shadows for her, and she would chase them around the house.”
Another shard of betrayal lodges in my heart. “Whisper knew who my father was?”
“Of course! As did the Matriarch. Hades was in the Aerie more than any other male. The Matri
arch almost changed the Aerie’s patron deity to the King of the Dead, but she knew it would piss Athena off something fierce. The old bird was a big believer in the Nyx prophecy.”
It all makes sense. The Matriarch’s disappointment, her pointed statements. I’d always thought I was falling short as a Harpy, but it turns out I was just not the hero the woman wanted me to be.
An entire childhood of misery because of a prophecy I never knew about.
“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?” I hate how whiny it sounds.
“Zephyr, your ignorance bought your safety. The Aerie had some power, but it was nothing compared to the Acolytes. If they ever suspected who you were, you would’ve been dead. The fewer people that knew the better.”
Something occurs to me. “What about Nanda? Did she know?”
Mom purses her lips as she thinks. “Well, I suppose she must’ve. I think she suspected when you were younger, but things didn’t really come to a head until later . . . ah, yes, now I remember. It was that child you were so fond of. That’s what caused me to tell her.”
“What child? You mean Tallon?”
“Yes! I saw him using erebos during one of their visits and told Nanda never to bring him back again. If you had come into contact with the shadows, it would’ve ruined everything, and you weren’t ready to be revealed yet. You just weren’t strong enough.”
I frown as I try to make sense of her words. “The erebos? What would’ve happened if I’d come into contact with his shadows?”
My mom stares at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Why, the seal your father put on your powers when you were born would’ve been destroyed. There would’ve been no way to hide you from the Acolytes, and you would’ve been dead within a few months. They would’ve killed you.”
“But I used the erebos once, when I was younger. For a magic test.”
She purses her lips as she thinks. “Perhaps the binding was flawed. Although I do remember that danger was supposed to let you utilize the erebos. So maybe you were scared enough to pull power through the seal.”
I consider her words. It makes sense. I was terrified of my mother, so failing magic class would’ve been scary enough to allow me to access the power. Killing Ramun Mar the night he murdered Whisper had been a mistake, and my desperation must’ve somehow managed to break through the binding placed on my dark powers. The day I first met Hades, he must’ve removed the remainder of the seal. That’s why I felt so out of control when I returned to the Mortal Realm.
But that doesn’t help me make sense of everything else. My mom slept with the King of the Dead to help fulfill a prophecy. She never really wanted me, she just wanted to save the day.
I was her ultimate weapon, a sword to be forged and honed and eventually wielded in battle. Meeting with this bright, smiling woman who is the echo of my mother has only managed to make me feel even more alone.
I stand too quickly, and the chair falls over before disappearing. A flicker of worry crosses my mother’s face. Her wings droop a little. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and force a smile. “Nothing. I just need to get back. Hera’s Acolytes are stirring up trouble, and I need to take care of it.”
And just like that her worry is gone. She grins at me. “Of course. Tell your sister I said hello.”
It hurts to smile, but I do it anyway. “I will,” I say. The lie scrapes along the hollow in my chest. Whisper should be here with her. It’s a reminder that I still have so much left to do.
I smile and give the stranger who is my mother one last wave. Then I escape out the front door.
Once I’m back outside, I call for Hades, hysteria in my voice. I need to get back to the Mortal Realm. I need some space to think, to work through the things I’ve learned.
Everyone has lied to me. It’s enough to make me want to scream.
Hades appears. “Ready?”
It’s a loaded question. I sigh and bury my face in my hands. “So, what’s next? I go and fight Hera?”
“Yes. She and Ramun Sol have my shades. I want them back.”
I look at Hades. He sounds like a bad breakup song. Nice that he made this about him and not the annihilation of the shadow vættir. “What about after?”
He frowns. “After what?”
“After I destroy Hera, after I keep her from doing this spell or whatever. What comes after?”
Hades levels a gaze at me. “I do not believe there will be an after.”
Oh, this just keeps getting better. “You think I’ll die?”
“Yes. But you should not worry. Death is not so bad. Look how happy your mother is.” I give him a look of disbelief. My mother is not happy; she’s a completely different person. “All things die,” he says. He doesn’t even sound like he believes the halfhearted pep talk.
I want to scream. Not even the bright shiny version of my conception that my mom just gave me makes up for the knowledge that I was born to fulfill some stupid prophecy. I want to rail at the gods, to smite them and manipulate their futures for my own amusement. I hate them. I hate their childish games and the way they suck unwitting mortals into their games of power. If I could, I would make them know how it feels.
But I don’t have that kind of power. As angry as I am, I know I can only play the hand that I was dealt. They have a saying in the Underworld: Life’s a bitch. But I kind of think dying, even heroically, might be worse.
I stretch. “Fine. So I go back, try to stop Hera, maybe die. Any ideas of where she might strike?”
Hades’s mantle of darkness flares around him. Another bit of darkness detaches itself and writhes over to me. I accept it without a word. Nice to know someone has some faith in me.
“She will need a powerful Node to conduct the spell she is attempting. I would look at the confluences of great rivers. They are very powerful places.”
“Great. Thanks.” That only leaves the entire world. How many confluences are there in the world? Five? Fifty? I wish I was better at geography. Who would even know the answer to that? I’m pretty sure that the Oracle is not going to be happy to see me again, considering what the cerberus did to his trailer. North or one of her Hecate friends might have a better idea. Maybe someone can give them a call. At this point I’m running out of options. Not that I had many to begin with.
I glance around, looking for a door or something. There’s nothing but cottages and butterflies. What is up with all of the butterflies? I swat at one in annoyance.
I clear my throat. “How am I supposed to get back to the Mortal Realm?”
Hades closes the distance between us. He rests his hands on my shoulders, and the movement is both reassuring and disconcerting. It’s strange to think of this man and his constantly shifting darkness as my father, but at the same time it makes me hopeful. Hades is the most fearsome of all the Exalteds. Maybe I actually have a chance at success.
Hades pulls me close for a quick hug. His darkness swirls around me affectionately for a moment. My own rises up in response, not as strong, but just as fierce. “You have far exceeded my expectations, Zephyr Mourning, Godslayer and Lady of Darkness. Best luck in fulfilling your Promise,” he says. His words fill me with confidence.
Before I can thank him, he picks me up and throws me. I fly through the air, through a cold darkness that I figure is the Rift, and land hard on a road. I roll around in agony until the pain fades, gravel crunching beneath my body.
I much prefer Tallon’s way of traveling the realms.
I open my eyes, and my heart leaps. The Oracle, Ricki, Blue, and Alora all look down at me, their eyes wide with shock. I force a grin.
“Hey, guys. What did I miss?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
AFTER MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN BLUE runs off to find Tallon, who has apparently made it his mission to figure out where I went. I’ve been gone for almost two weeks. What seemed like an afternoon for me was ten days of searching and scrying for Alora, Jimmy the Oracle, and Blue.
I’m not sure w
hat Tallon’s been up to. Everyone kind of just looks away when I mention him.
“We didn’t know what happened to you. We thought the worst,” Alora says. We sit amid the chaos of Jimmy and Ricki’s ruined trailer, drinking warm beers out of an ice chest. Jimmy hangs around outside waiting for Blue’s return, and Ricki picks things out of the wreckage and stuffs them into a backpack. Today she looks like a female version of Jimmy: lank brown hair, pale skin, and skinny to the point of looking sick. I get the feeling that’s her true appearance. Alora told me Ricki and Jimmy are siblings, so it makes sense they’d look alike.
The ruined trailer became the base of operations while everyone tried to figure out what happened to me. Most of the trailer park was abandoned after the cerberus attack. The cover story is that a tornado damaged most of the trailers. The residents are all currently living in a nearby hotel or staying with relatives since the trailer park was evacuated and most of the homes condemned.
“Do you guys have somewhere to go?” I ask Ricki. I hate that they’re homeless because of me. It’s not like I have somewhere to live either, but I feel like the least I can do is ask.
Ricki nods and grins. “Oh, yeah. Jimmy’s the Oracle, so he can call in a bunch of favors. We’re thinking of heading south. He’s been talking to Blue about Ulysses’s Glen. It sounds like a nice place, you know?” Ricki touches her hair gently. “It might be nice to be around our own kind for a while.” She hefts the backpack and gives me a weak wave. “See you around.”
I nod and take a deep drink of my beer. I’ve never had one before, but seeing as I’m supposed to die pretty soon, it seems like a good time to try it out. The beer is bubbly and it makes me burp, but that’s about all I can say for it.
Blue and Tallon walk up the ruined stairs as Ricki slides past them out the gaping doorway. Tallon looks tired. Dark circles surround his eyes, and his steps seem to drag. He brightens a little as he sees me, and a rush of excitement trills through me. “You’re back.” There’s a tinge of something in his voice. Relief? Was he actually worried about me?
I take another drink of my beer to hide the emotions that well up inside. Hope and embarrassment tangle around whatever I feel for Tallon. “Yeah, I’m back. Woo-hoo.” My voice is flat, and I focus on thinking about how much it hurt when he vaulted off the bed and ran out the door. I will not feel anything for him but apathy.
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