Don't Try This at Home

by Ellee Hill

  Micah desperately wanted to thrust his hips into Cole’s hand, but he stilled himself when Jenna’s laugh floated down the hall.

  “Fuck,” Micah hissed again. This time he shoved Cole away and bolted into the living room, running right into Jenna.

  “Darling,” she said, spilling half her drink. Micah watched the light liquid soak into the carpet. “Are you having a good time?”

  Micah groaned, but he yanked way deep down and brought up a fake smile for her. “Great, Jenna, but no time to chat right now. I need another drink.”

  “You have an entire bottle.”

  “Er, I think I should get something to mix with it,” Micah said.

  She grinned and leaned against him. “I knew you’d love Chris.”

  “Oh, sure do. He’s swell,” Micah said.

  “I’ve had a little too much to drink.” She tilted her head and gave him a goofy grin, making Micah feel like a total ass for kissing her boyfriend.

  “You and Chris,” she sighed. “It’s just too cute.”

  “Right,” Micah said, rolling his eyes. He hadn’t met Chris yet, but he wasn’t going to tell that to Jenna.

  “Have you seen Cole?”

  Micah froze. “Nope, definitely not. I really need that drink. Will you be okay?”

  “Of course. Oh, there’s my baby,” she said, waving. “Cole!”

  Micah looked up to see Cole coming at them wearing that fucking grey shirt again. What the hell was going on, and why did Cole keep changing shirts? Maybe Cole had several different personalities? Micah wasn’t going to stick around to find out.

  “Going to get my drink,” Micah said and hurried away before Cole spotted him. This was just awkward.

  The next time Micah ran into Cole, he was sporting the blue shirt again. Micah had given up trying to figure all that shit out. It didn’t matter. What mattered was staying as far away from Cole as possible. Micah moved into the shadows, running into a couple who were furiously making out. The guy had his hand up the woman’s blouse, and she was groaning and thrusting her hips against an unmistakable huge hard-on. Shit, that guy was packing. The woman jammed her thigh between the guy’s legs, and before Micah could blink, she popped open the dude’s pants and dragged his cock out. Jesusfuck! The chick was going to jerk the guy off in Micah’s fucking hallway, and by the looks of things, it wasn’t going to take very long. Jenna was going to freak when she discovered come on her wall. Micah was probably going to have to paint the hallway.

  “Fuck my life,” he mumbled and ran into the doorknob of the hall closet with his hip.

  “What are you doing?” Cole asked as Micah tried to back down the hallway.

  Oh shit. Micah downed his drink, and the world around him went a little fuzzy. Cole was still in the blue shirt.

  “You okay?” Cole asked.

  “Just fucking peachy,” Micah said, or at least that’s what he thought he said. His mouth wasn’t working particularly well at the moment and his drink seemed to be empty. Well, that would explain the mouth not working. This not drinking shit was getting out of hand.

  “You ran away again,” Cole said.

  “Nope, just needed to fill my drink,” Micah said. He tried to point at his empty glass but poked his wrist instead.

  Cole stepped into Micah’s personal space, and the walls closed in on Micah. Where the hell did all the oxygen disappear to? Micah didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t fucking breathe, and his dick was really hard and trying to drag him forward like a magnet. His dick told his brain to touch the guy. Kiss the guy again. Look at those fucking lips. Micah squeezed his eyes shut. Jenna was going to destroy him. But she was pretty drunk and maybe she wouldn’t remember any of this shit. He was well on his way to getting really drunk—no, he was probably way past drunk. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to remember tonight or not.

  It was also possible Cole was so fucked up he was mistaking Micah for Jenna. Now that was just dumb. Jenna was blonde and had boobs and a pussy. Micah had dark curly hair and no boobs. He did have nice pecs and abs. He spent a lot of time at the gym. He also had a fucking erection that was going to kill him, and Cole was staring at it.

  Cole reached around him and opened the door to the closet, shoving him inside with all the winter coats.

  “Er,” Micah stammered. “What are you doing?”

  “You are such a little tease,” Cole said. “Don’t you like me?”

  Micah pursed his lips and tried to figure out how to answer. What a weird fucking question. Who asked that sort of shit?

  “I barely know you,” Micah answered.

  “Would you like to know me better?” Cole asked as he pressed his chest against Micah’s chest. They fit nicely together, even though several coat hangers were poking Micah in the back.

  “Well, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Micah said, trying to move farther away from Cole, which was difficult considering they were in a fucking closet.

  “Are you seeing someone?”

  “Me?” Micah was confused. Cole probably knew more about Micah’s nonexistent dating life than he did. Jenna shared a lot of embarrassing details with Cole that Micah tried to erase from his memory. In all honesty, this question belonged to Micah. He needed to ask Cole, or remind him, there was someone named Jenna in the other room probably searching for him. Cole must be confused. Everyone was fucking confused. Micah scratched his head and then lost all his thoughts when Cole leaned in and shoved his tongue down his throat. What the hell was he supposed to do? He moaned and kissed back, wrapping his arms around Cole’s neck. Something hard was poking him in the belly. Micah’s eyes snapped open. He knew what that was, and it wasn’t a hanger. Cole’s dick was pressed against his stomach, and it felt like a steel rod. Micah felt faint.

  How was he supposed to handle this situation? He’d dreamed about this shit, jerked off thinking about it, and stained his fucking sheets when he woke from a wet dream about Cole shoving his hard cock…. Oh, this was not good.

  Micah thought about protesting, telling Cole they should consider Jenna’s feelings, but when Cole dropped to his knees, Micah buried his face in a furry jacket and shut off his stupid conscience. The guy was going to suck his cock, and Micah needed relief from his fucking hard-on or he might die. Jenna wouldn’t want him to die; she’d want a chance to kill him with her own two hands.

  “Oh my fucking God,” Micah whimpered when strong fingers dragged his aching cock out of his pants. He didn’t remember Cole unbuckling that stupid belt, unzipping his pants, or when they ended up around his ankles, but he was fully aware of those fingers wrapped around his cock.

  “Feel good?” Cole asked as he lazily stroked Micah’s shaft.

  “Fuck yeah,” Micah mumbled into the furry coat.

  Cole was a pro. His mouth was made to be on Micah’s cock. He knew how to keep his teeth to himself and how hard to suck. He knew when to lick and when to squeeze the base of Micah’s cock to prolong the burn that was slowly consuming his entire body. Cole moaned, and the vibrations sent sparks shooting up Micah’s spine. God, it felt so damn good, and it soon got even better. Cole started bobbing up and down, taking more of Micah’s cock into his mouth each time. Micah had to wrap both hands around the rod in the closet to keep from yanking Cole’s hair out by the roots and shoving his face down to his pubes.

  But the worst part, or possibly the best part, was when Micah chanced a peek, and Cole looked up at him with those piercing blue eyes and his red mouth full of Micah’s cock. The sight alone almost drew out Micah’s orgasm. Cole smiled and let Micah’s cock fall from his mouth. Micah whimpered and gave a weak thrust of his hips. Cole ignored him and nuzzled into his thigh, sucking hard until a purple mark blossomed on the skin.

  “Fuck, please,” Micah begged. “I need to come.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Cole’s lips slide down his shaft until he was pretty sure his whole goddamn cock filled Cole’s mouth and nudged against the back of his throat. The g
uy was fucking amazing, and Micah wanted to scream when Cole flattened his tongue and wiggled it.

  “Gonna come,” Micah warned in a strangled voice.

  Cole didn’t move off, and Micah chewed on the furry coat, stifling his shout as his cock jumped and spurted hot liquid down Cole’s throat. His grip on the closet rod slipped, and Micah, along with all the coats and the rod, crashed to the closet floor.

  “Holy shit,” Cole said. “Are you okay?”

  Micah couldn’t speak. The contents of his entire body had just shot out his cock. He had no bones or voice box anymore. He slithered to the ground covered in coats, with boots prodding him in the back and the rod sitting on top of his head, but he couldn’t be bothered to care.

  Someone knocked, and Cole scrambled up, laughing as he opened the door. Micah buried his exposed body parts in the pile of coats.

  “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know this room was taken,” some girl giggled and shut the door.

  “Fuck,” Micah muttered.

  “Don’t go away,” Cole whispered, kissing Micah’s hand. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  Micah squeaked. He should probably offer to take care of Cole’s gigantic problem, but he really couldn’t function yet. That was the best fucking blowjob he’d had in forever, and now he was going to have to move to Tibet or some other remote area so Jenna couldn’t chop his balls into little tiny bits and serve them as appetizers. How the fuck could a straight guy know so much about blowing another guy? Cole had been perfect, the absolute best, and it could never happen again. Micah considered crying.

  He sat in the closet until someone else opened the door, almost sitting on him in the process.

  “Sorry,” Micah mumbled and crawled out from under the coats. He ran into someone’s shins.

  “What are you doing,” Cole asked.

  Micah looked up, and Cole blurred, but he noticed the shirt was grey again. Micah blinked, but the shirt stayed grey. Cole held out a hand, and Micah allowed him to help him to his feet. Micah tipped into the wall.

  “You should go pass out,” Cole said. “I’ll help you to your room.”

  “Oh no,” Micah said. “You stay over there. I don’t need any more help from you.”

  Cole furrowed his brow and shook his head. “You are so weird, but I can’t leave you here. Jenna would kill me.”

  “Jenna’s going to kill both of us,” Micah grumbled. Did Cole really think she would be cool when she found out her boyfriend had sucked off her best friend? Hell, maybe Cole thought they could have a threesome or something. There was no fucking way Micah was going to sleep with Jenna. Even if it meant… no, absolutely not. He wasn’t into girls. Micah shut his brain off by grabbing Cole’s beer and downing it in two swallows. He handed the empty back to Cole and stumbled down the hall.

  “I’m perfexly able to find my own room,” Micah said, stumbling over his words. His tongue seemed too large for his mouth. He grabbed a doorknob and yanked it open.

  “That’s the linen closet,” Cole said.

  “I need a towel for, er, something,” Micah said, yanking at a towel and watching as the entire stack tumbled to the ground.

  “Go to bed,” Cole grumbled and picked up the towels, shoving them back in the closet.

  “Pfft.” Micah stuck his tongue out at Cole and promptly banged into the wall. “Quit changing your stupid shirt.”

  Cole shook his head and pointed in the direction of Micah’s room. Micah felt like a child being scolded for doing something wrong. He pouted as he made his way down the hall. He wasn’t sure if he was pouting because Cole was sending him to his room or because Cole wasn’t following him to his room.

  “Wrong door again,” Cole shouted when Micah opened the bathroom door and had to apologize to a guy who was getting a hand job. My God, his entire house was going to be covered in come. Jenna was going to make him sterilize every room from floor to ceiling.

  He finally found his room, and thankfully, there was no one using his bed. There was a couple laying on his floor in post coital bliss, but he promptly kicked them out, tossing their used condom at the guy’s head. It stuck in the girl’s hair, and Micah burst out laughing, collapsing onto his bed. It had been one fucked up evening, and tomorrow was going to be worse, because if he remembered, he was going to have to tell Jenna about Cole. And then he would lose his best friend, fall into a deep depression, and live out the rest of his pathetic life watching porn on the internet and remembering the good old days when he had a best friend until he threw everything away for a blowjob. A fabulous blowjob, but still, was he really giving up a friendship for sex? Micah groaned and waited for lightning to strike him down for being such a horrible person.

  If he was going to wait for the apocalypse, he might as well get comfortable. Micah struggled to sit up so he could take his shirt off. He managed one arm before he fell back in an exhausted heap.

  “I’m so fucked,” he mumbled.

  “I could help you with that,” Cole said.

  Micah squinted at the guy hovering over him. He reached out a shaky hand and touched the hem of the blue shirt, testing to see if it was real, because it seemed Cole had just materialized in his bedroom. Micah prided himself on his fantastic imagination but this was beyond good.

  Cole sat down on the bed, resting a hand on Micah’s thigh. “You left. When I opened the closet door, there was some guy with his face between a chick’s legs. It was disturbing.”

  Micah was confused again. Jenna had told him Cole was an expert with his tongue and loved the taste of her. Micah shrugged. What else could he do?

  “I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m usually not this easy, but I really think we could have something,” Cole sighed and rubbed Micah’s thigh. “Some guy propositioned me, and I actually turned him down to come find you. What do I have to do to get you to like me?”

  “I do like you,” Micah said. “It’s just your shirt.”

  “You don’t like my shirt?”

  “Uh….” Micah didn’t know how to tell Cole his fucking shirt kept changing colors and was making him feel more than a little crazy.

  “I can get rid of it,” Cole said as he grasped the hem and pulled the thing over his head, exposing his chest. Micah stared and gaped and drooled and rubbed his eyes, because on Cole’s collarbone was a large tattoo. That fucking thing wasn’t there this morning or yesterday when Micah accidentally opened the bathroom door when Cole was taking his shirt off. It’s not like the tat was a tiny little black heart or something easily missed. The damn thing was just below his collarbone. Micah squinted, staring at the words as they got closer to his face. This Above All ~ To Thine Own Self Be True. There was no redness or anything to indicate this was a recent tattoo. As if Cole could have gotten a tattoo this afternoon. His chest was fucking bare this morning. Maybe Cole used makeup to hide the thing.

  “Whoa,” Micah said as he traced a few of the letters with his finger. He should add more to that sentence or at least ask where the hell the thing came from, but Cole leaned into him and kissed his neck, nibbled on his collarbone, and sucked on his earlobe. Micah’s dick was trying to slice right through his underwear. His dick didn’t give a shit about Jenna. Micah’s head swam as the guilt threatened to overwhelm him, but then Cole’s lips touched his and he forgot his name. If he was going to hell, he might as well go all the way. He would deal with the appearance of the tattoo later, like when he was sitting around in hell having a discussion with the devil after being murdered by Jenna.

  Micah let his hands roam, sliding up Cole’s throat, across his jaw and up into his hair. For some reason, Cole’s hair seemed longer and curlier. He tugged at the curls and pulled Cole down on top of him. Cole settled between his legs and heat flooded Micah’s body. It made his skin feel too tight, and his blood roared straight down to his cock. Micah was really impressed his cock worked this well since he was so drunk. Thrusting against Cole’s hip helped ease the ache. Cole rose to his knees and unzipped his pants.r />
  “You look so good beneath me,” Cole whispered through swollen red lips. “So beautiful.”

  Cole trailed a finger over Micah’s cheekbones, reverently stroking until he ran his finger over Micah’s lips. Micah opened his mouth and licked Cole’s finger. Cole shuddered.

  “You’re going to make me come before we get started,” Cole said. “You’re beaut—”

  “Please don’t call me beautiful anymore,” Micah said, brushing his curls away from his face. “I’m not a girl.”

  Cole raised an eyebrow. “I know you’re not a girl. Believe me, I can feel it. God, I’ve wanted to meet someone like you for a long time. Can you feel it?”

  Micah didn’t know what the fuck he was feeling, and before he could even process what was happening, Cole had Micah’s cock out of his pants and was licking the pre-come dripping down the side. Micah screamed and bucked his hips. Cole settled a hand on Micah’s hip, pressing him down so he wouldn’t choke Cole. When Cole looked up at him from between his legs, Micah squirmed, trying to get him to let go of his cock, because if Cole kept sucking him, he was going to come right away.

  “Can I fuck you?” Cole mumbled through a mouthful of dick.

  “Oh my God, yes, I’m a dead man anyway,” Micah mumbled. “Might as well go all the way.”

  Cole shook his long hair out of his eyes and frowned. “I don’t understand you.”

  What the fuck didn’t Cole understand? He didn’t even seem that drunk. He couldn’t have just forgotten about Jenna. Right now Micah wished he could forget about Jenna and how she would look at him when he told her he let Cole fuck him. God, she would be destroyed, and Micah would feel like a total shit, but how was he supposed to stop now? His cock was leaking and Cole was naked, straddling him with a bottle of lube in one hand and a condom in the other. Micah watched as the liquid drizzled out into Cole’s open palm. When the first finger breached him, his brain handed over control of the situation to his dick.