“In theory.”
“Yeah. In theory.” So many questions. So damned much to process. We had time, but what about now? I looked at him. What about us?
Isaac sat up and put his hand on my arm. “We’ll figure it out, Don.”
I held his gaze. His smile backed up his words, but the lift of his eyebrows suggested he wasn’t as certain as he’d have liked me to believe. As if he wanted me to meet him halfway with some sort of encouragement that our lives and Carmen’s hadn’t just been upended.
Except there were no words I could stand behind, though, because I was as worried about this as he was. If there was one thing about which I could assure him, though, it was that at least for tonight, this didn’t change anything between us.
I turned and reached for him. As I slid my hand around the back of his neck, Isaac leaned in, wrapping his arms around me. Our lips met, and some of the tension left my shoulders in a shiver. What began as a gentle kiss went on, deepening and intensifying with every passing moment, and I pressed my fingers into his neck. He pulled me closer.
I took off my towel and let it drop to the floor. We both made half-assed attempts to get his shirt untucked and off, but a kiss took priority. With his clothes still on, we shifted all the way onto the bed, and, my arms around him and my lips against his, I sank onto the pillow.
Isaac broke the kiss and went for my neck. I whimpered softly as his coarse stubble brushed my collarbone. When his lips started up the front of my throat, I tilted my head back, pressing it into the pillow to expose as much of my neck as I could to his gentle, spine-tingling kisses. He worked his way all the way up, pausing just below my chin. I lowered my head, and when he found my lips with his own, I reached up to cradle his face in both hands as I returned his hungry, desperate kiss.
Of course now that I needed his clothes off, my hands shook too badly to do much about it. Between the two of us, we finally got his shirt untucked. And partway off, but—God, I had to kiss him again. I unbuckled his belt and started on the zipper, but the thick hardness of his cock was irresistible even through his jeans, and I stroked him until he groaned against my lips.
“Just think,” I murmured, panting between words and kisses. “How much time…we could’ve saved”—I kissed him full-on—“if you’d been waiting for me in bed with nothing on.”
“Thought about it.” He sat up and pulled off his shirt. He threw it aside, then came back down to me. “Didn’t think you’d be in the mood.”
“I’m always in the mood for you,” I said, reaching for his zipper.
“I know, but—” He cut himself off with a kiss, and I didn’t press for him to finish. I knew what he was about to say, and neither of us needed to think about that now. The only thing I needed right now was him, and judging by the way he pulled the air out of my lungs and dug his fingers into my skin, that need was mutual.
He broke the kiss, panting against my lips, and raised his head. Our eyes met, and neither of us even had to say a word. He gave a slight nod toward the pillow beside me, I responded with a grin, and we changed positions. He moved onto his back while I reached for the nightstand, which we kept well stocked with lube.
Isaac kicked off the last of his clothes. Then he put one of the other pillows under his hips as I stroked the cool lube onto my cock. Just glancing at him, meeting his hungry eyes with only seconds between now and when I’d be inside him, I almost lost it. All this time together, and I still wanted him every time like it was the first time. Tonight, even more so.
I capped the bottle and set it on the bed where it would be in easy reach. Then I joined Isaac, and when his inner thighs warmed my hips, I thought I was about to come unglued.
Isaac bit his lip and sucked in a breath as I guided my cock to him. Any other night, I might have teased him, giving him just a little until he begged me to fuck him.
This was no time for teasing. Not when I needed to be inside him so bad it hurt. Pushing in slowly, I whispered, “Oh Christ, I’ve needed this all damned day.”
“Is that right?” he said with a playful lilt.
“God, yes. I couldn’t even sleep last night.” I watched my cock slide a little deeper into him. “Thinking about…having you like this.”
Isaac bit his lip, squirming as I withdrew. “You should have called.”
“I could have.” I paused to watch myself take a few long, slow strokes, all the while trying to stay in control while Isaac murmured something profane. Then our eyes met again, and I leaned down to kiss him.
“I could have called,” I said between kisses. I was all the way inside him now. “At two in the morning, when I was hard…this hard”—I thrust into him, then resumed my slow, gentle pace—“and going out of my mind. Jesus, Isaac, my hand just doesn’t do it when all I can think about is fucking you.”
“Then you definitely should have called.” He drew me into a long kiss. We both moaned against each other’s lips, and I moved a little faster inside him, running my hand up his flat abs and broad chest just because I needed to feel as much of him as possible.
Maybe I should have called him last night, but some hushed, discreet phone sex had nothing on this. Sex with Isaac—his hot skin against mine, one of us buried to the hilt inside the other, his tongue coaxing mine between his lips—was always worth the wait.
“Oh God, Don,” he moaned. “Oh, fuck…”
I kissed him once more, than sat up. I grabbed his hips and railed him hard, just the way I knew he loved it, and Isaac groaned, screwing his eyes shut and reaching up to grab the headboard.
“Like that?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“Fuck…yes…” His back arched, and I had to force myself to hold back. Every stroke intensified that deep ache of impending release, but not yet. Not until he came.
And that wasn’t far off. Watching him this way, I could barely breathe. His moans and tremors and the way he swore in between whispering my name, and the way the cords stood out on his neck and his lips pulled into a grimace that was somewhere between pain and pleasure, it all conspired to drive me absolutely insane. Nothing in the world turned me on like watching Isaac fall apart, especially when his breath caught like that and his whole body tensed like that, and…God, he was the hottest man I’d ever fucking seen.
He cursed. His eyes flew open. One shudder, two, three, and when that first jet of semen to hit his abs, I went right over the edge. I kept going, kept fucking him, kept driving myself into him until it all became too much. Then I slumped over him, my arms shaking beneath me as we both came down.
I kissed the side of his neck and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Isaac kissed my shoulder. “I think we just negated that shower you took, though.”
I laughed and pushed myself up so I could see him. “Just means I’ll have to take another one.” Winking, I added, “Maybe with some company this time.”
He smiled. “Like I’d turn down that invitation.”
Moments later, we were in the shower, standing under the water together and kissing lazily. The hot water running over my skin, normally so relaxing, reminded me of my earlier shower, when I’d stood in this very spot with both the water and the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Isaac put his arms around my waist. “You okay?”
I sighed. “Just thinking. About our…situation.”
He chewed his lip and dropped his gaze. “Yeah, me too.”
“How do you think Carmen’s doing with everything?”
“Don’t know,” he said. “She didn’t say much. I think she’s still in shock, but she also insists she’s doing okay.”
I absently caught a drop of sweat or water rolling down his temple with my finger. “Sounds like classic Carmen.”
“I’m worried about her, though,” he said. “She’s putting on the strong face like she always does, which means sooner or later, she’s going to fall apart.”
“I know. But you know her. If she doesn’t want to talk
about something, she won’t until someone drags it out of her.” I kissed his forehead. “You’re the professional, so I nominate you.”
“Gee, thanks,” he muttered.
“Seriously, though,” I said. “If anyone can get someone to talk, it’s you.”
“And if anyone can resist my Vulcan marriage counselor mind-meld tactics, it’s Carmen.”
“That’s true.”
He sighed. “All this kind of makes my worries about the threesome seem petty, you know?”
I ran my fingers through his hair. “That it would make things weird between all of us, you mean?”
“Well, that…”
I cocked my head. “Something else?”
A hint of color bloomed across Isaac’s cheekbones, and he avoided my eyes. “It’s really kind of unimportant in the grand scheme of things now, I think.”
“Humor me.”
He hesitated. “Well, one of the things that I hadn’t really anticipated with a threesome was that it was my first time with a woman, and I…” He paused, biting his lip. Then he met my eyes. “Obviously I’m comfortable with you, but trying to find my way around a woman, I guess, it was a little…”
“Intimidating with an audience?”
Sighing, he nodded. “I know, it sounds—”
“Isaac,” I whispered, trailing my fingers down the side of his neck. “Of course something like that would be intimidating. It would be for anyone.” I leaned in and kissed him lightly. “And if we decide to go down that road again, whether it’s with Carmen or anyone else, maybe we can figure out a way for it to be less nerve-racking for you.”
He smiled halfheartedly. “Thanks. Though I don’t think that’ll be an issue for a while.”
“No.” My stomach coiled into knots at the thought of our current situation. “No, I don’t suppose it will be.”
Chapter Four
Isaac
By the time Carmen arrived the following evening, Donovan and I were both nervous wrecks. Ryan was out with his girlfriend and not due back any time soon, so at least we didn’t have to be concerned with him walking in during an awkward moment in the conversation. Still, I had no doubt there’d be awkward moments aplenty tonight.
At a little past six, the doorbell rang. Donovan and I exchanged one last look, searching each other’s eyes for reassurance. Then we both walked out of the kitchen to the foyer by the front door.
I opened the door, and from across the threshold, Carmen met our eyes with the same uncertain, desperate-for-reassurance expression.
“Come on in.” I stepped aside to let her in. The day was warm, so she hadn’t worn a jacket. I almost wished she had; at least hanging it up for her would have given me something to do with these unsteady, sweaty hands.
She looked at Donovan, eyebrows up, and shrank back a little as she said, “I’m assuming Isaac told you?”
He nodded. “That’s why we’re here.”
“So…” She wrung her hands. “What do we do?”
Heavy silence fell between the three of us.
Then Donovan cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose we could always go on Maury.” Carmen and I looked at him, both dumbfounded. He put his hands up. “What? I’m just saying.”
Carmen snorted, and some of the tension in the room dissipated as we all allowed ourselves to burst out laughing.
“Better than Jerry Springer, I guess,” she said, still snickering. When her laughter faded, the fear and panic returned to her eyes. “Guys, I really have no idea what to do right now.”
Donovan reached for her, and when she stepped toward him, he put his arms around her. “Come here,” he whispered. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he stroked her hair as I had done in my office yesterday. “We’ll figure it out, hon. It’ll be okay.” She exhaled and sank against him.
His eyes met mine. Though he offered her reassurance in both talk and touch, he looked about as scared as I felt.
“Why don’t we go sit in the family room where it’s a bit more comfortable?” Donovan said to her. Carmen nodded, and we moved from the kitchen to the family room. I really could’ve used a deep glass of wine right then, and I was sure he could have gone for half the bottle or so, but if she couldn’t have a drink to ease her nerves, it was only fair for us to skip it too. That, and wine hadn’t exactly helped this situation to begin with, so I left it alone.
Donovan took one end of our huge couch. I took the other, and Carmen sat between us. For a moment, no one spoke. I couldn’t read their minds, but I caught myself mentally running through my conversation with Carmen, reliving it to remind myself that it had really happened. As if moving from one building to another had left the situation in the office to evaporate and go away if we ignored it long enough.
“Problems don’t go away just because you aren’t talking about them,” I told my clients time and again. “They just fester and get worse the longer you ignore them.”
Caught by my own logic. Damn it.
Donovan pulled his knee up on the couch between them and turned so he was facing her. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”
Carmen chewed her lip. “Abortion’s out of the question.”
“Are you planning to keep the baby, then?” I asked.
She was quiet for a long moment. “I…yes. I mean, I want to. I wouldn’t feel right giving it up, but with my financial situation…” She sighed and made a frustrated gesture. “I don’t know.”
“You do know you won’t be alone with this, right?” Donovan asked. “If you keep the baby, you’ll have our support.”
“Financially and otherwise,” I said.
Barely whispering, Carmen didn’t look at either of us as she said, “Thank you.”
Donovan leaned forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “We’re part of this too, Carmen,” he said softly. “You’re not in this by yourself.”
She nodded, pressing her lips together and blinking rapidly, probably trying to maintain her composure.
“Though,” Donovan said, “much as I’d love to help you with it, you’re pretty much on your own with the physical stuff.”
Carmen laughed, and so did we. Donovan always did know just when and how to ease the tension in a room.
“If you’re worried we’ll leave you high and dry,” I said, “don’t be. You know us better than that.”
“I know, I know, and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.” She sighed. “But let’s face it. You guys have each other. You already have a relationship. Even though I have no doubt at all that I’ll have your support, I’m still a single mom.”
We exchanged glances. Donovan chewed the inside of his cheek. She had a point, and I wasn’t sure just what either of us could say.
“Well,” I said finally. “We’ll help where we can.”
He put a hand on her knee. “We can’t magically make everything about the situation easy, but if there’s anything we can do, just ask.”
“Thank you.” She put her hand over his and all three of us watched in silence as her thumb drew slow arcs back and forth over his. “I’ll probably need you guys to help me move at some point,” she said. “I don’t know where yet, but I can’t stay in that apartment with my sister. It’s crowded enough with just the two of us. A baby would be too much.”
Donovan and I exchanged a look. He gave me a subtle nod. I was thankful we’d long ago mastered the art of nonverbal communication.
I looked at Carmen. “We might be able to move you in here if that’s an option for you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” she said. “This is your place. And you’d have to explain that to Ryan.”
Donovan grimaced. “Oh, shit. I hadn’t even thought of that part yet.”
Carmen gave him an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry, Don, I’m—”
“No, don’t apologize.” He put his other hand on top of hers. “You have nothing to apologize for. We were just as much a part of this as you. It isn’t like this is something you
did to us.”
“To be fair,” I deadpanned, “one of us technically did it to her.”
Carmen snorted with laughter, and Donovan chuckled.
“And as for everything with Ryan,” I said, “that’s not something we have to sort out tonight. We do have time to figure a lot of things out.”
“Thank God for that,” Carmen muttered. She looked at me, then Donovan. “Is this going to cause problems with you guys? I mean, one of you—”
“No,” he and I both said.
“It’s not like one of us cheated on the other,” I said.
“What about a paternity test?” she asked. “I suppose we should get one. That way if there’s any genetic things we should be aware of…”
“She’s right,” Donovan said. “When do they usually do paternity tests, anyway? Before or after the baby’s born?”
Carmen fidgeted, laying a hand across her lower abdomen. “Depending on how they do it, I think I’d rather wait until after.”
“I’m fine with that.” I looked at Donovan. “You?”
He nodded. “Of course. Honestly I don’t see how it would be relevant until the baby’s here anyway, so if you’re not comfortable with it, Carmen, then it can wait.”
He was right, and I couldn’t argue. At the same time, some part of me itched to know. An unanswered question, a piece of uncertainty, hanging over our heads for months? The very thought almost made me break out in hives. I’d respect her wishes completely, but there was a knot in my gut now that wouldn’t loosen until those test results came back.
“So, the test can wait,” Donovan said. “But regardless of who the biological father is, we’ll still do everything we can. Both of us.” He looked at me, eyebrows raised as if to ask if he’d been presumptuous.
“Of course,” I said. “Don and I are together, so it doesn’t really matter whose name is on the test result.” It didn’t technically matter. I knew that. But damn, I wanted to know.
“Yeah, you guys are together,” she said with a sudden note of bitterness in her voice. “Whereas I guess I can say good-bye to any plans for dating anyone any time soon.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “It figures. I was actually kind of looking forward to getting back in the saddle. You know, even just getting laid once in a goddamned while. First time out, and…” She gestured at her still-flat stomach.
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