He had to be satisfied with her decision. As he walked into the bright sunshine, Jadrian pondered what else might help Taura. The Badari had endured centuries of abuse and torture from the Khagrish before achieving their freedom, but the men had a tight knit pack structure and relied on each other. The pack could even extend a certain level of mind to mind support, which had kept him sane when he was locked in solitary and tortured. Taura and the other humans had no such bonds, at least not as far as he was aware.
Well, perhaps the doctor’s ideas would work and help Taura function to the point where she could leave the clinic and join the small community of humans. If I’m late for training again, Mateer will throw me in a pit of vermore and leave me there to rot… Jadrian broke into a run and did his best to put the problem out of his mind as he headed for the restricted area of the valley. The Badari used the field to keep their lethal skills honed and ready for extracting more payback on the Khagrish at every opportunity.
CHAPTER THREE
Three nights later, having returned from a long and grueling deployment stripping whatever could be salvaged from one of the destroyed Khagrish labs, Jadrian was awakened from deep sleep by the night watch and summoned to the clinic. Taura’s screams were audible even as he approached the brightly lit building. Adrenaline spiking, he sprinted through the opening portal.
But Rik, the nurse, stopped him at the entrance to the corridor where Taura’s room was located. “Sorry you got hauled out of bed. The night aide saw Dr. Garrison’s orders on the subject and called you before I could countermand her decision. Our patient’s really out of control tonight, and we’re about to sedate her again. No need to waste your time.”
The pitiful screams and pleas from Taura’s room scraped at Jadrian’s nerves like a Khagrish neuro whip. His talons and fangs ached to deploy so he could go into battle on the woman’s side. The nurse had no idea how close Jadrian was to shoving him aside and breaking into Taura’s room to reassure himself she wasn’t in real pain or danger. Taking a deep breath which failed to calm his pulse, he looked over Rik’s head and forced his voice into words rather than a warning growl. “I’m here, so I might as well see her.”
“There’s no point—she won’t know you’re here, much less recognize you.” Rik matched his sideways move as if to physically prevent him from proceeding to the room. “I’d rather not have nonmedical personnel in the way while we’re coping with a crisis.”
Although the nurse’s words were reasonable on the surface, Jadrian’s hackles rose and his claws pressed against the skin. The excuse was a little too glib. Why don’t they want me to see her tonight? He straightened and added a bit of the growl into his next words. “I’m not asking—I’m insisting. I have the right to see her.”
“Suit yourself.” Rik shrugged and backed away. “I’m going to get a more powerful dose. What we’ve been giving her isn’t having any effect on the hallucinations.”
He caught Rik’s arm before the other man could leave. “What was the trigger, do we know?”
“No idea. She was asleep and slid right into a nightmare, apparently.” The human hastened away, heading toward the small pharmacy in the clinic’s admin wing.
Jadrian was surprised Rik would leave Taura alone when she was so obviously in a full blown crisis. Driven by concern over whether the humans were trying to hide something about Taura from him, he covered the last few feet to her room then stopped on the threshold. She was restrained, bound to the bed hand and foot. She struggled to free herself, spine arching in a painful curve away from the mattress, screaming curses and threats, obviously believing she was still held by the Khagrish.
No wonder she’s terrified. How dare they do this to her? He realized he was growling and his fangs and talons had extended, although he’d no conscious memory of choosing to do so.
Exerting utmost caution, it took him a moment to slash through the restraints with his claws and gather her close, although she flailed and fought him. He said her name over and over, trying to reach her through her panic. Slowly, the madness in her eyes faded and her struggles lessened.
Blinking, she focused on him and raised one hand to his cheek shakily. “Jadrian?”
“I’m sorry I was so long getting here. We’re going outside. No one is going to tie you down again.” He remembered to grab a blanket this time, and awkwardly wrapped her in it one-handed. She huddled close to him, one hand fisted in the material of his shirt, the other clinging to the soft blanket. He was so focused on her he barely registered the humans sidling away from him. Good idea because I’m ready to take revenge for her trauma tonight. He was in full protector mode and primed for combat if anyone interfered with him.
Instinctively, he headed for the front door. Outside represented freedom and safety to Taura, even in her worst moments. Once he’d exited the clinic, he paused, staring at the chairs where they’d sat before. Shaking his head, he strode toward the lake instead, holding Taura close. He craved distance from the humans right now, so she probably did as well.
“Where—where are we going?”
“You wanted to see the lake.” He tried to sound cheerful. “Tonight is the right time. I know a good place to sit comfortably while we figure out what to do next.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Her voice was hoarse, as if all the screaming she’d been doing had damaged her vocal cords. “I’m sorry to be so much trouble. I bet you wish you’d never found me in that cell.”
“I couldn’t regret rescuing someone from the Khagrish, saving a life. Your life.” He held her closer. “It’s my duty to finish the task, to see you to a happier state.”
“Duty.” Her voice was low, and she sounded as if she was pondering his word choice.
He hoped he hadn’t offended her. He was afraid to let his full range of blazing anger show through, even in words. It wasn’t Taura igniting his fury.
With his excellent night vision, he had no trouble walking to the lakeshore and placing Taura on a fallen log the valley residents used as a bench. He made sure she was well wrapped in the blanket then stood guard behind her, one hand on her shoulder in reassurance as she stared at the peaceful lake. Her breathing evened out, and he thought she might even be able to fall asleep naturally if they remained undisturbed long enough.
Continued privacy was highly unlikely, though, and he reviewed the demands he was going to make on her behalf when whoever was in authority made an appearance, be it the doctor or his own pack leadership. Enough is enough. He and Taura shared a level of trauma based on their separate but similar experiences at the hands of the Khagrish, and no one was going to tell him or her what she needed again. She didn’t need to be tied down and drugged. He would take her from the valley in defiance of Aydarr’s order if he had to, in order to take proper care of her.
Where is all this molten anger inside me coming from? The source couldn’t just be the echoes of his own tortured past and difficult recovery. Because he’d made peace with the events of his life already.
The difference between his past and now was he was going to fight for Taura, and he’d accept no compromise where she was concerned. Taura had become supremely important to him since he’d found her in the burning building. She was his to protect.
Not much time passed before his enhanced hearing picked up the sound of footsteps approaching. At the same time, his head rang with a telepathic message from Mateer, the enforcer who stood second in the pack only to the Alpha, and whose human mate was the doctor.
I’m going to need a coherent explanation of this situation. The enforcer’s tone was measured.
Jadrian glanced at Taura, staring over the lake, leaning against him trustingly. I’m going to need an explanation as well.
Mateer didn’t reply, but Jadrian caught a ripple of surprise from the enforcer over a mere soldier in the pack, senior though he was, daring to push back.
“The doctor’s coming with reinforcements,” he said to Taura in a low voice.
She struggled
The fear mixed with determination in her voice hurt him to contemplate. “Peace,” he said, catching her in a hug. He hated the way she trembled in his arms. “I won’t let anyone take you anywhere against your will. Let me speak for you?”
Face raised to his in the moonlight, she blinked. “All right. I’m not winning any arguments on my own these days.” Shaking a finger at him, she added, “But I will make my voice heard if you can’t force them to listen.”
“We’ll make the case together,” he said, standing close by her side and gently turning her with him to face the new arrivals.
Mateer was his superior, built even bigger than Jadrian was, undoubtedly able to kill him if they ever fought for dominance, although Jadrian wouldn’t be an easy kill. I can’t let this situation rise to the level of a pack dominance challenge tonight. My injury or death at Mateer’s hands won’t help Taura. Jadrian was acting as Taura’s champion, as such he kept his head held high. He seized the initiative by speaking first. “I cannot agree with the conditions under which I found her being kept tonight, and I will not allow her to be restrained again. We don’t rescue innocent humans from Khagrish tortures to restrain and mistreat them here.”
“She was a danger to herself and others. The medical staff had no choice.” Mateer’s voice was cold.
“I’ve been told she has skill at self-defense from the life she doesn’t remember. Surely muscle memory knowledge isn’t enough of a problem to require her to be bound hand and foot.”
Mateer took his wife’s hand and brought her out of his shadow. Even in the moonlight, Jadrian could see the black eye and huge, dark bruise on the doctor’s cheekbone, which looked like it must have hurt.
Taura gasped, taking a step before Jadrian could catch her by the wrist and bring her to a halt. “I did that? I’m so sorry—I don’t remember.”
“She has other bruises from the fall after you punched her. My wife is pregnant, and you knocked her to the floor in your madness.” Mateer’s fangs gleamed and Jadrian knew the enforcer was close to losing control. Taura was probably lucky Mateer hadn’t been present when the incident occurred.
“We’ve been over this before—I took no harm, other than a few ugly bruises.” Dr. Garrison pressed one hand protectively over her stomach despite her confident words. “The baby’s fine. But, after the unfortunate incident, we couldn’t take the risk of leaving you free to move about when you have an episode. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re dangerous when you’re in the grip of the flashbacks. My staff is all volunteers, and the majority refused to treat you unless you were restrained.”
“Which isn’t going to be repeated,” Jadrian said. “I’m glad you’re not hurt, doctor, but Taura’s time in the hospital is ended. She doesn’t need to be there, does she?”
Brow furrowed, Megan said, “Not for any medical reason, no.” Her tone was businesslike as she confirmed Jadrian’s suspicion about why Taura was being held at the clinic. “But I can’t sign off on her being allowed to move freely in the valley until we make progress on treating her tendency to slip into an alternate reality and lash out. We’ve made no noticeable change there. When she’s in the grip of the trauma, she believes us to be her enemies.”
“I don’t even know what triggers the attacks.” Taura ran her fingers through her hair nervously, as if to soothe her restless mind. “Much less what to do to control one.”
“I can snap you out of them.” Jadrian refused to allow the doctor’s explanation to cow Taura into giving up her freedom.
“Are you proposing to move into the hospital room to monitor her?” Mateer asked, his voice hostile.
Jadrian shook his head. “Hardly. Give us one of the small residence caves. I’ll work with her. I’ll vouch for her behavior.”
“You want to live with me?” Taura’s entire body stiffened. She moved away a step or two as if rejecting the suggestion. “Wait a minute.”
“As mere roommates.” He wished he’d taken the chance to confer with her before he had to make demands of his superior. “Nothing more. You can phase into living a normal life—well, as normal as anything can be here—and I can help you learn to sense an incipient attack and work through it, night or day. I do have the skill set.”
“Unmated Badari live in the barracks, not the personal residence caves,” Mateer said in a tone of command that brooked no argument from less dominant pack members like Jadrian. “She can’t move in amongst the pack soldiers with you.”
“This is a special situation,” Jadrian answered immediately. He reined in his frustration over the enforcer’s uncompromising attitude and pushed himself not to yield to the higher ranking man as he normally would. This wasn’t a pack issue—this was about Taura’s health and well-being. “If I’m right there when she’s on the edge of a sudden memory incident, I can interrupt the cycle and then we can talk through it, try to gain more control.” He took a deep breath, embarrassed to reveal his solution to the living space question, but he was convinced Taura needed the support he could offer. “Before I ever even met Taura, I identified a cave on the far edge of the living area and put my claim on it with the administrator, against the day I might be fortunate enough to have a mate. It’s a bit isolated from the main housing so the rest of the community wouldn’t be disturbed by Taura’s attacks, nor would the others intrude on her attempts to regain her memory and self-control.”
“I barely have an idea how to attempt to treat this problem.” Hands on her hips, Dr. Garrison projected professional exasperation over a layperson’s involvement in one of her cases. “You’re completely untrained. Why do you think this idea has any chance of success?”
“Fair questions—” The conversation had gotten away from him. Jadrian was on the brink of revealing parts of his own past he normally kept deeply buried, in order to convince the doctor to trust him, and his gut twisted.
Eyes wide, Taura stared at him, giving him a little nod. “I think Jadrian’s got the right idea. Maybe I don’t need a medical solution to what I’m fighting. Soldier or not, he seems to understand me the best of all of you.”
As if he understood Jadrian’s aversion to revealing too much of his own story, Mateer forestalled what he was going to say, raising one hand. “Jadrian had his own time of torment at the hands of the Khagrish and fought his way back from the aftereffects, while we were imprisoned and under the lash. He speaks from personal experience of what worked for him.”
Megan folded her arms and glared at her mate. “All right but he’s a Badari, not a human female from the Sectors, even if the Khagrish are the common denominator here. I insist on a daily one-hour meeting with Taura—Jadrian can sit in as well if she wants him to. I’ll get the status I need and work with her on a therapeutic course of action based on human medicine. She’s my patient.”
“A declaration I’ve heard you make before.” Apparently reflecting on some past event, Mateer sounded resigned. “I insist there be a Badari guard for you at these daily meetings, mate. We can swear him to secrecy when it comes to anything Taura may say or reveal, but Jadrian won’t be enough because his focus will be on Taura, not you. I’ll not risk your safety or the health of our unborn child in an attempt to assist one human in conquering her demons.” Mateer’s voice was flat and uncompromising. He gave Taura a casual glance. “Nothing personal against you and I wish you well in this fight, but Megan comes first.”
Swallowing hard, Taura apparently couldn’t find any reason to argue with him when it came to his wife. “I understand. I’m grateful for being rescued and receiving all the treatment I’ve had here, from Dr. Garrison and her staff. What if, even with Jadrian’s help, I can’t break the cycle of flashbacks?”
Mateer shrugged. “Face the problem when or if we reach an impasse. It would be up the Alpha to decide.”
Jadrian’s blood ran cold at the thought of any human being banished from the valley and sent to fend for themselves outside the protective sanctuary. Would his pack leadership even allow her to leave? After all, Harker wanted to leave and had been refused on security grounds. The stakes were high. Does Taura realize how important it is for her to get distance between herself and her lingering stress? Even if her memory never returned, she had to become a functional member of the fragile new community both for her own good and because everyone needed to contribute if they were all to survive. “The compromise seems workable to me.”
“Your cave can’t be outfitted for occupancy in the dead of night tonight.” Mateer sounded vaguely pleased to announce there was an obstacle. Jadrian didn’t take offense and hoped Taura could understand the enforcer was reasserting pack dominance. He might have to explain more to her about how the Badari functioned as a group sooner than later. Mateer continued on with his decree. “I refuse to disrupt the entire valley’s sleep period for the convenience of one human. Bad enough we’re all standing here at moonrise. Taura will have to return to the hospital until at least tomorrow.”
Taura slid her hand into Jadrian’s. “I’d rather sleep on bare rocks in a cold cave than be locked up and tied down in relative comfort.”
Jadrian smiled at her. “My chosen den isn’t a barren hole in the cliffside. I’ve taken the liberty of putting a few comforts into the cave. It’s not ready to be lived in, but we can make do for the rest of tonight. We’ll draw supplies and clothes for you in the morning.”
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