“But you are, my friend.” Jadrian sounded light-hearted. “I got Aydarr to agree to one more thing I believe will be the answer to Taura’s dilemma, but the plan hinges on your help.”
“I heal Badari, not humans, with rare exceptions,” Timtur said pointedly. “And certainly not their minds.” He glanced at Taura and his attitude wasn’t unkind but he shook his head. “I can’t help with her broken memories.”
Jadrian wasn’t dismayed at all, obviously in an unusually buoyant mood. “I think you can. Hear me out?”
“If you’ve already got the Alpha’s permission for whatever your wild scheme may be, who am I to say no?” Timtur grinned as he capitulated. “I’ll always have your back, my friend.”
Taura raised her hands. “Hey, remember me? If you got Aydarr to agree to do something for me, or affecting me, I need to know about it.”
He caught her in a hug. “We’re going to take you to the sacred grove of the Great Mother and perform a healing ceremony.”
Mouth open, Timtur looked as shocked as she felt. Taura swallowed hard. “We’re going to what?”
“Your dreams gave me the clue.” He addressed Timtur next. “She’s been dreaming of the grove and, last night, she caught a glimpse of the Great Mother. A clear sign to me of what we must do.”
“Aydarr agreed to this?” The healer sounded so astonished that Taura gaped at him.
“Why, what’s so scary about the idea?” she asked.
Jadrian gave her another squeeze. “The grove is located at the lab where we Badari were created.”
“But you destroyed the lab when you escaped, right? So there aren’t any Khagrish there anymore?” She looked from one man to the other.
“Theoretically, no. But we don’t know what the Khagrish may be doing, what kind of surveillance they might have set up. The scientists obviously knew the grove was important to us but, since no one has gone back, they might not think to ambush us there.” Jadrian said, releasing his affectionate hold on her. He took her cup of water and drank thirstily before saying, “But first things first. You have to describe your dreams to Aydarr and Timtur.”
Shaking her head, Taura raised both hands and made a pushing motion as if to slow him down. “I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to help, but circle back for a minute. Why would your goddess care about me?”
Jadrian was undaunted by her open skepticism. “Why would she send you dreams of the sacred grove if she didn’t mean for you to come there to seek her help? I certainly never described the grove to you. I didn’t tell you where I found my stone amulet. So how did you know?”
Taura was torn. Deep inside she had no expectation this trip to the Badari place of worship was going to yield any results, and she hated to waste the pack’s time and energy. Besides which, there was an element of danger in the scheme, and she didn’t want anyone putting themselves in harm’s way on her account, especially not on a wild scheme like this. But she got goose bumps thinking about the last dream, which had seemed so real…
Jadrian seemed so enthusiastic and happy he’d found what he viewed as a way to help her solve their mutual problems. She didn’t have the heart to object further. “All right, I’ll go talk to Aydarr but don’t be surprised if he changes his mind after he hears my description. Dreams are just wisps from the subconscious, at least in the world I live in. Not messages from—forgive me—alien goddesses.”
Not upset in the least, radiating good humor, he nodded. “I’d expect such a reaction from a non-Badari. It’s fair to have the Alpha make the decision.”
She glanced at the healer. “And how exactly does Timtur figure into this?”
“He’s the man in Generation Eight who stands closest to the goddess, in part because he’s our healer, with special psychic talents. Also because the ancestral memory says one man in each generation would be chosen by the Great Mother to assist his packmates in preserving their link to her. As the Badari grew more distant from their origins we might forget important commandments. So he must take his place in the Grove with you, to approach the goddess properly. To let her know the Badari support you.” Jadrian hugged her tight. “I’d do anything to be by your side there but, in this case, it must be Timtur. Now, Aydarr is waiting for us so we need to get a move on.”
CHAPTER TEN
Before dawn the next day, Taura sat in one of the Badari’s captured Khagrish flyers, surrounded by soldiers from both packs, armed to the teeth and as deadly serious as if they were going on a combat mission deep behind enemy lines. Which in a way she guessed they were, since no one knew what to expect from the Khagrish. Aydarr was leading the expedition himself. After hearing a recitation of her dreams about the grove he’d made a pronouncement attesting the message from their goddess was unmistakable and not to be ignored. Mateer had been left behind to take command of the forces remaining in the valley.
Jadrian sat beside Taura, scarcely recognizable in his fatigues, equipped with a pulse rifle and a hand blaster. And, of course, she reminded herself, all the Badari had their fangs and talons, should close quarters combat be required.
Timtur sat across the aisle from them. He’d deferred to the Alpha as to whether the dreams had been sent to Taura from the Great Mother or inferred by her subconscious from scraps of information she might have overheard in her time at the sanctuary valley. Taura advanced that theory to the alpha, trying to be scrupulously factual. But, once Aydarr gave the command to proceed, the healer kept his own counsel.
Timtur and Taura were the only two people in the flyer not armed. He was wearing camouflage fatigues like all his pack mates, but carried no weapons. She’d asked for a hand gun or a knife and been refused.
“Our ruling isn’t from a lack of trust,” Jadrian said regretfully. “But as the person going to ask the Great Mother for a boon, it’s not appropriate for you to come before her carrying instruments of death.”
“Easy for you to say—you have all those lethal claws.” She held up her hands, wiggling her fingers to display her close-cropped nails. “Humans aren’t so fortunate. I could at least have a weapon while I’m in the flyer, couldn’t I? Just in case of—of unforeseen developments?”
“Fair point.” Relenting, Jadrian handed her one of his own finely honed knives.
Apparently Gabe, a human ex-Special Forces soldier, was the best pilot among the survivors and the person Aydarr trusted most to fly special missions. Taura had met Gabe briefly at the landing field in the valley, shook his hand, and considered how much he resembled Walt in demeanor and attitude. Definitely cut from the same cloth.
I wonder if he resents my being the cause of Walt getting in trouble with the Badari?
But the pilot hadn’t said anything personal to her, entering the cockpit and remaining there.
“Circling the abandoned lab now,” Gabe said over the com as the flyer banked to the east.
“I wish MARL had been willing to come with us,” Jadrian said. “His scanners can detect things no other equipment can find.”
“Couldn’t Aydarr order him to come?” she asked.
Jadrian shook his head. “MARL answers only to Jill, the alpha’s wife. As you heard her say yesterday, she wanted to join the expedition—she’s a soldier by training—but Aydarr refuses to risk her outside the valley unnecessarily. The leader of the Khagrish has a pathological hatred for Jill because she almost killed him and did leave him seriously impaired. She’s probably the single human the Khagrish would do anything to capture. Hence Aydarr’s caution. No Jill means no MARL.”
“No sign of enemy presence. Proceeding to the grove.” Gabe’s voice was matter of fact as the flyer’s path straightened again.
The Badari stirred, preparing to disembark as soon as Gabe landed. Aydarr worked his way toward the flyer’s stern, where the exit ramp was located. He paused beside Jadrian and Taura. Hand on the headrest attached to her seat, he addressed them and Timtur. “We need to keep the time on the ground minimal. At the first sign of approaching Khagrish, we
“If the Great Mother wishes to communicate with Taura, or show any other sign of her grace, as Jadrian believes, surely she won’t put us all in jeopardy by prolonging the encounter.” Timtur sounded calm.
“Setting down now,” Gabe announced, followed immediately by a slight jar as the flyer landed.
The door opened, and the ramp extended. The first wave of Badari moved out. Taura and Timtur were in the middle of the second wave, with Aydarr and Jadrian directly in front of them. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, and a cool mist blanketed the area. The flyer lifted off behind them, and Timtur drew her forward, toward a ring of huge trees.
“Exactly like my dream,” she said, to herself.
Jadrian caught her eye and nodded as if to say, I told you so.
The soldiers deployed smoothly in all directions, moving so efficiently she could hardly see them, even knowing where they’d gone. Aydarr and Jadrian continued to lead the way. Taura checked over her shoulder to find Reede, the other enforcer, covering the rear, flanked by Darik from the other Badari pack, who she knew slightly from the dining hall. The Badari squad took her to the edge of the grove then Aydarr waved her and Timtur on.
“We’ll be right outside the first ring of trees,” he said in a low voice. “Get this done so we can go home.”
“I’ll do my best, but the resolution is up to the goddess.” Timtur’s tone was respectful but adamant.
Aydarr caught Taura’s arm as she stepped toward the grove. “I hope the Great Mother blesses you this morning. Good luck.”
Jadrian brushed her cheek with a kiss then the two men were gone into the mist.
Timtur drew her past the first pair of trees and conducted her through the ring into the wide open grassy space in the center. He paused, drawing a deep breath and staring eagerly at their surroundings. “I’m grateful the Khagrish haven’t tried to destroy our sacred place. Being here restores my inner peace, refreshes my healing energy. I hadn’t realized how much I missed this.”
“It’s beautiful. Just like in the dreams.” Taura moved away from him, heading unbidden toward the center, as if she was being directed to do so in some fashion. The grass was thigh high in spots but she didn’t hesitate until she stubbed her toes on a stone ring, blackened by generations of fires. “Will we need to light a fire?”
“Not today.” Timtur shook his head emphatically. “We’re not making our presence here so obvious.”
“It must be hard for you to have your most sacred place located where you can’t safely visit,” she said.
“Yes, but we’ve no time for idle discussion.” The healer guided her to take a seat on a low, rectangular stone close to the fire ring and took up his position next to her.
“What am I supposed to do? No one’s explained the ritual to me.” The Badari were treating this visit with so much gravity and respect but she couldn’t imagine anything was going to change for her as a result of all the effort being undertaken to help her. She wished she’d never mentioned the dream to Jadrian and prayed to the Lords of Space no one would be injured or killed as a result of the day’s journey.
Rubbing her forehead and smiling ruefully, she realized she’d just invoked her own religious beliefs in a space dedicated to the goddess venerated by her Badari allies. I guess my faux pas’ll put the kibosh on any help I was going to get here, insulting my ‘hostess’.
“I’m going to sing a sacred song passed down to us from our forefathers,” Timtur said. “I’m thanking the Great Mother for her care of us. I have no idea what you’d need to do to ask the goddess to look with favor on you. One of my own people would instinctively know how to call her, but if you have any link to her at all, she might choose to reach out. We can only hope.”
“I’m sorry Jadrian set the events in motion for today,” she said.
Eyes wide, Timtur gaped at her. “Why?”
She gestured. “All this risk, all this effort and manpower, probably for nothing, just because I had unusual dreams.” Rubbing her arms because the morning air had an edge of chilliness, she added, “Even if I am having a strong case of déjà vu now I’m here.” The whole scheme felt unsettlingly like a dream. She pinched herself to make sure she was awake.
“On the contrary, nothing could be more exciting and reaffirming for us than to know the Mother reached out to you, even if she doesn’t grant you any grace today. Just to have her send the dreams to ease your sleep and torment is a blessing in our eyes. I apologize if I made you feel ill at ease. That wasn’t my intention.” He frowned. “It’s hard for me to stand here unarmed. I know I need to concentrate on the ritual, but all my instincts are to be with my fellow Badari, on the alert, ready to fight.” Smiling again, which made him look years younger, Timtur said, “A test of my own faith, in my packmates and in the goddess. Do you have any other questions for me?”
Taura shook her head and closed her eyes. She found she didn’t want to talk any more either. As Timtur launched into his song, she had the vivid mental picture of Jadrian in her mind’s eye. Although thinking of him made her happy, she decided it was important to clear her head of conscious thought as much as possible.
She worked through mental exercises which came to her, probably from past training in the Sectors. Concern for Jadrian and memories of him faded in her mind’s eye, to be replaced by a vision of the huge tree circle instead. She heard Timtur singing but faintly, as if he’d moved far away from her. She concentrated on the breeze in the ancient trees and a sudden trill of melodic bird calls. A faint floral perfume drifted into her awareness. Dawn blooming flowers perhaps?
Her frazzled nerves relaxed, and a sense of utter calm and peace flowed over her, which was a sensation she couldn’t recall enjoying since waking up on this planet. She couldn’t hear Timtur’s song any longer, and she worried that their time might have elapsed already. Opening her eyes, she found herself alone in the grassy circle, no sign of the healer.
Rather than feeling alarmed, not even wondering where Timtur had gone, Taura rose to her feet and pivoted slowly on her heel, admiring the huge trees, enjoying the quiet and peace of this special place. She couldn’t remember ever experiencing anything like it, although given the sad state of her memories, that wasn’t much of a declaration. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For inviting me here.”
The breeze rattled the branches, then became a voice, speaking from thin air. “You are linked to one of my own children, for the Badari remain mine, no matter how many millennia pass. It is for his sake I offer to help you.”
Taura held her breath as a vision of Jadrian appeared in front of her, unsubstantial, yet unmistakably the man who’d rescued her from the lab and who was still doing his best to help her. A golden thread of light flickered in the sun, emanating from his heart and flowing to hers. “We’re not mated,” she said, sad feelings moving into her heart like a gray cloud. Raising one hand, she tried to touch the glittering light. Her fingertips tingled but passed through the illumination and the thread remained unbroken.
“Only because you fear who you were, and so both of you foolishly resist the heart’s claim,” said the voice.
Feeling a bit guilty, Taura said, “I’m trying to remember who I am, trying to regain my whole self. It’d be unfair to him to ask him to commit to me the way I am now.”
“The core of you is immutable, solid, trustworthy,” her unseen companion said. “Unchanging and true. Jadrian knows this even if you don’t. I wish my Badari to continue in this universe and to exist and go on they need mates. Jadrian needs you, for he will have no other.”
“I have to do this for myself.” Goddess or no, Taura wasn’t budging from what she stubbornly believed. There was no point in doing any of this if she didn’t remain true to herself. “I have to have peace of mind before I can truly be a good partner. I have to know I won’t break and leave him tied to a woman who can’t cope with life.”
“Have you broken? Did you give your enemies what they so desperately wanted from you?”
Taura straightened her spine. “No. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.” Unbidden, the scene between her and Walt flooded into her head, and she regained her memory of all the details the human soldier had shared with her in the garden. “But I’m not the person I was. What Walt told me about myself—I don’t recognize that version of me. How did I get to be her? Why did I do what he described, the spying, working undercover—my entire life apparently, before I was kidnapped and brought here?”
“Do you need to know these things to go forward? That Taura’s time is over. Time for new beginnings, a new life on this world which has become your home.”
“It’s not so simple.” Am I disagreeing with a goddess? The sheer unreality of the discussion swept over Taura and she stifled an urge to laugh at herself and the situation. Nervous laughter wouldn’t be a respectful reaction. I must be hallucinating, or having another dream. Maybe Timtur hypnotized me with his song.
“So much doubt,” said the gentle voice in the wind. A breeze ruffled her hair and caressed her cheek. “Very well, since you crave these memories of times past, times before you met my Badari, I will open the door for you.”
A crack of thunder boomed, and an involuntary scream was wrenched from deep within her. Taura crouched low in the grass. As if blown by a wind she couldn’t feel, the green stalks parted directly in front of her and became a path, leading to a spot between two of the trees on the perimeter of the grove. Moving slowly, Taura rose and stepped into the newly created walkway.
Ahead flickering images awaited, as if she was approaching a trideo screen. The closer she came, the clearer the picture grew, until she realized she was watching herself, standing in front of the closet on that unknown Sectors world, debating her clothing choices as she prepared to seduce…Farsriu, the leader of the terrorist cell, the man who was rumored to have direct communications with the Mawreg. Tonight would just be the first step, making a chink in his armor, trying to build his trust…
-->