Cold Deception (His Agenda 4): Prequel to the His Agenda Series

by Lavelle, Dori

  Once they got married and she was his wife, the only job she would have would be making them a good home. He wouldn’t share her with anyone else. Wouldn’t let her leave him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Before Terence met Lacey, there was a deep, dark, invisible hole in the center of his chest. While most kids were innocent, young Terence was already damaged, empty. Nothing could fill him. Not food, not kind words, not a fuckin’ thing. He woke up each morning wishing he had died during the night. He went to bed feeling the same way. But meeting Lacey changed him. He’d known deep down, without a doubt, that she would fill him. That one day she would be his wife. And today was the day his dream came true.

  He grinned as he slid the gold-plated band—bought with his own money this time—onto Lacey’s long, slender finger. Now he was hers and she was his. The hard roads they had traveled alone, the shit they’d waded through, had brought them to this place, to the path that led to forever. They were so lost in each other, they couldn’t even see the possibility of it not working out. Maybe they were young and stupid, but in this moment, stupid felt damn good to Terence.

  A minister with greasy hair and bored eyes accompanied them on the path to becoming husband and wife. Lacey looked fabulous in a sleek, white dress Terence had bought her at Chelsea’s. Though it was not a wedding dress, it looked close enough to one. He wore the same clothes he’d worn the day he proposed, and Marion had given him a suit jacket for the occasion.

  It hurt Terence that he couldn’t afford to give Lacey the kind of wedding she deserved, but he would make up for all that later. One day he would shower her with diamonds. For now, this would have to do.

  For witnesses, Lacey chose Lilliana, and Terence grudgingly called Marion. Marion had been honored to be Terence’s best man, but Terence only asked his brother because he had no one else to call.

  Lacey looked up into his eyes and beamed, taking his breath away.

  “I promise you forever.” Her eyes glinted with unshed tears, coating them like a thin film of glass. She dipped her head and her long golden hair fell over her shoulder to hang like a freshly ironed curtain between them. “You are my everything. You always will be.” Those words were everything to Terence. She slid the cool metal band onto Terence’s finger, and the missing pieces of his world slid into place.

  “You are mine.” Terence pulled her to him, not waiting for the minister to tell them the words they already knew in their hearts. Terence liked to believe that they had been each other’s destiny before they were even born. His hands were made to travel the path of her body, to run over the silk of her hair, to feel the touch of her skin, to find a home in her heart. Their bodies and hearts were meant to make music together. A piece of paper was nothing but insurance, a reminder that they would never be apart.

  He kissed Lacey deep, feeling the softness of her mouth, his tongue wrapping around hers, his lips moving gently against hers, his hand clasping the back of her neck.

  From a distance, someone coughed. They stopped kissing as the minister confirmed they were now husband and wife.

  Terence moved his lips to her ear. “You’re mine till infinity.”

  “No, I’m yours till beyond infinity.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around him. “Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.”

  Those words soared deep into Terence’s soul and stamped themselves across his heart.

  After the ceremony, the minister and their witnesses came over to congratulate them. Terence shook their hands, but the only thing on his mind was getting Lacey all to himself. The love of his life. His future.

  There would be no wedding reception, at least not for the others. He had booked a room in a nice hotel where they could spend the rest of the day and night. Terence didn’t plan on much sleep.

  Lilliana wished them well again and hugged Lacey. “Have a good life,” she said, then turned to Terence and gave him a hug as well. “Take great care of her.” He planned to do just that.

  While Lacey and Lilliana exchanged a few more words, Marion pulled Terence aside. “A quick word?” He moved them over to a table in the corner.

  “What’s this about?”

  “Can you try not being a dick for once?” Marion’s face hardened. “When are you going to get that I’m on your fuckin’ side? I’m not Mom or Dad. I’m your brother and I’m here whether you like it or not.”

  Terence sighed and looked over at Lacey, who was laughing at something Lilliana said. Her fingers were still wrapped around her rose bouquet. “Okay, I’ll try harder to be nice to you. It’s just hard to believe that you call yourself my brother and yet you visited me only once in prison.”

  “I don’t know how many times you want me to apologize for that. I was not in Serendipity for a long time.”

  “No, you were away, studying, living the good life. Good for you.” Terence crossed his arms. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “I wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you. You did well. She seems like a nice girl, little bro.” He slapped Terence on the back and Terence found himself smiling.

  “I did, didn’t I?”

  “You hit the jackpot.” Marion smiled back. “I have a wedding present for you.” Marion reached into his pocket and placed a key in Terence’s hand.

  “Get the hell out of that abandoned cottage. Give your wife a home.”

  “Say that a little louder, would you?” Terence rubbed his chin and blinked. He glanced at Lacey again. As far as she was concerned, they were renting the place. She believed he was taking care of her, just as he’d promised. Then Terence turned the key in the palm of his hand, narrowing his eyes. “Is this…”

  “Does it matter? I have my own place. I’ll never move in.” Marion paused. “Put your resentment aside and do this for your wife.”

  Their father had left their childhood home to Marion—his only son as far as he was concerned. One more dagger to Terence’s heart. But Marion was right. The old man’s wishes didn’t matter, and Lacey deserved better. Each night they spent in the abandoned cottage, he feared the cops would show up at the door and throw them out. The thought of possibly having to return to Oasis was unbearable. He curled his fingers over the key and closed his eyes for a long time.

  When he opened his eyes again, they were stormy. “Thank you, man. I appreciate it.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  From the outside, Terence’s childhood house resembled any other house on Eden Road. But inside, it was an empty shell—cold and damp like a cave. Not even the furniture gave it life. He’d hated coming here, hated having to sleep under that roof. It reminded him of the childhood he’d never had, the pain and disappointment, the anger.

  He closed the door and reached for Lacey’s hand, squeezing it. “Welcome to our new house. You will make this a home.”

  “I love it.” Lacey let go of his hand and moved around the living room, running her fingertips over the dusty furniture, eyeing the photos on the mantel. Terence’s heart clenched as he watched her, searching for his face but not finding it in any of the pictures. When she turned around, there were tears in her eyes. She drew him into her arms, and laid the palm of her hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes. “We don’t have to move into this house. I know this must hurt, being in the place where you never felt loved.”

  “You erase the pain, Lacey. Living here won’t hurt as long as you’re with me. We’ll make it our own.”

  She leaned into him and held him tight. “We will. I’ll make it a beautiful home for us. I promise.”

  They stood in each other’s arms for a long time, Terence listening to the sounds of his childhood inside his head. Despite his best efforts, his father’s words raced around in his head, over and over again, driving him nuts. In the past few weeks he had tried hard to ignore that last piece of information his father had given him; he still hadn’t mentioned it to Marion. Eventually he would have to face the truth. But right now, in Lacey’s arms, he wanted to be happy. So he forc
ed himself to focus on their new life together.

  Compelling himself to smile, he pushed her away gently, and took her hands, led her through the house, showed her around. They started in the kitchen, at the table where they used to sit for dinner, pretending to be a family.

  He didn’t tell Lacey that standing inside the kitchen transported him back in time. He heard his father’s cursing, saw his mother’s tears. How she’d wiped them discreetly with the kitchen curtain or pretended to be looking for something in the fridge just for a chance to look away from the man who tortured them all. He had felt pity for his mother then, often giving her a hug when their father could not see them, but now, only hate for her remained. She had known the kind of man her husband had been, and yet she had left them alone with him. She must have known they would pay the price. Now, to think she had lied to Terence all along about his real father was unforgivable.

  He didn’t realize he had stopped talking until Lacey nudged his arm.

  “I know this brings back bad memories for you.” She squeezed his hand. “Should we stop?”

  “No.” He ushered her out of the kitchen and took her upstairs.

  On the landing she turned him to face her. “Once we make it our own, you won’t even recognize this place.” She waved a hand at her surroundings. “But you don’t have to put yourself through this right now. I can have a quick look around alone. You can wait in the car if you like.” The secondhand SUV had been Terence’s wedding gift to them. Driving Lacey around on a motorbike in the cold wasn’t his idea of romance.

  “Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I want to be here with you.” He led her to the bedroom he used to share with Marion. The bunk beds were just as he remembered. He used to have the lower bunk. It had been his legal home, the little corner he could escape to when things got rough. That had been often. As he sat on it now, on the faded blue-and-white striped covers, he glanced around the room. The desk where he used to do his homework. The window where he used to look out at the world, where he watched other families, wishing he belonged to them.

  His gaze landed on a spot on the old rug where his father had once smashed his head and kicked him until he bled. He moved toward it and rolled it up. It had to go. All the memories. All the blood.

  The rest of the tour was brief. He showed Lacey the master bedroom, the storage, and a few other places. They skipped the basement, the one place he wasn’t prepared to enter.

  Inside the car he kissed his wife. “Thank you for being you.” He smiled broadly. “Told you you won’t need a job. That house is going to keep you busy for weeks, if not months.”

  Lacey’s smile faltered.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. It’s just… I do want to work one day, once we have renovated the place and started a new life.”

  “I don’t know why you would want to do that.” A muscle in Terence’s jaw twitched. “Why don’t you let me take care of us, let me take care of you?”

  “It’s not just for the money, Terence. I think working will be good for me. It’s something I’ll enjoy.”

  “Building a life for us will be so much fun that you won’t feel like you’re missing out on anything. Let’s not discuss this again.” Terence switched on the radio.

  Lacey leaned over and turned down the volume. “Terence, I know you feel strongly about this, and I’m not looking for a fight, but I will bring it up again. I won’t stop wanting to find a job. After I finish with the renovations, I want to work.” She cranked up the volume again.

  Blood raced through Terence’s veins like hot lava. He was too angry to speak, so he stared straight ahead, focusing on driving and breathing.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lacey

  A month after they exchanged vows, Terence and Lacey moved into Terence’s childhood home. He hadn’t wanted to see the house during the renovations. Lacey understood, because she knew his pain. That house had both built and destroyed him. But he’d been there to help her sell the old furniture and pick out new pieces at garage sales and thrift shops, but he wouldn’t go inside. The day they moved in, Terence paced outside in the yard for fifteen minutes before he gathered the courage to enter.

  But when he stepped into their new home, she detected surprise in his features. The house was almost unrecognizable. Everything but the sage green paint on the walls had changed. The old, tasteless furniture had been replaced with new pieces that gave the whole place a country home feel. Lacey had put great focus into arranging the overstuffed couches and rustic tables and chairs in a way that made the place feel cozy. Jugs and metal pails filled with flowers completed the look. Even the thick, musty smell had been replaced by lavender and cypress.

  She wanted him to feel as safe in their new home as he was in her arms.

  Despite the changes, the first few nights were brutal for Terence. But with a touch, smile, or kiss, Lacey did her best to render his fears powerless, to dull his pain, even for a moment.

  Now, five weeks after they’d moved in, they sat at their kitchen table, eating breakfast, like the normal family Lacey had always wanted. Soft classical music played on the kitchen radio, the soundtrack of their new lives.

  She bit into her French toast and watched her husband drink his coffee while reading the Serendipity Daily.

  She glanced at the Roman numeral clock above the door: 7 a.m. Terence would leave for work in about ten minutes. But she had to tell him her news before he walked out the door. She had been hiding it from him for three days now. Even though she didn’t know how to feel about it quite yet, he had the right to know.

  She lowered her sandwich and parted her lips, her heart racing. “Baby,” she whispered. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

  The newspaper crashed onto the table and he jumped to his feet as if there were thorns on his chair. His expression showed a mix of excitement and fear. For a while he stood there, his eyes changing from one darker shade of blue to the next.

  She got to her feet too and went to him, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t know how this happened. I’ve been taking the pill.”

  She had feared this moment, and his reaction. The night before their wedding, they had talked about having kids, and Terence had said in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want to be a father. He didn’t want his child to enter a world that was so cruel to children. She had been disappointed. Nothing would have made her happier than having his children, creating something perfect out of their love.

  After the wedding, she had tried to talk him into changing his mind, pointing out cute babies on the street or tiny clothes through shop windows, but he’d looked away each time, unmovable.

  A tear trickled down her cheek. “I love you, Terence. I want to keep this baby. Our baby. I think you will make a great dad. You don’t have to be afraid.”

  To her surprise, he pulled her close, and knelt down, pressed his face into her stomach, his shoulders shaking. She placed both her hands on his head and soothed him the best she could. She was afraid too—afraid this could break them just as their future together got off the ground.

  When he looked up, his eyes were wet. “Are you feeling okay?”

  She nodded as the tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m so happy. I want this baby so much. I want to have your baby.”

  He rose and placed his hands on both sides of her face. “Then I can’t take that away from you. I want you to stay happy.”

  “You mean it? You’re okay with this?”

  He nodded. “I’ll learn to be.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Terence

  During Lacey’s pregnancy, Terence struggled to come to terms with the fact that he was going to be a father. But to keep Lacey happy, he carefully hid his fears. In addition to his car repair job, he took a second job at Dudley Repairs & Plumbing. He did all the right things. He went out to shop for clothes and baby supplies, he took care of Lacey, and he forced a smile when she showed him the sonograms.

  But today, a week befo
re Lacey’s due date, he was driving home when he had a panic attack. Out of desperation he called Marion, even though their relationship was still strained. Half an hour later, they were sitting side by side on Marion’s leather couch, each holding a glass of vodka. Terence couldn’t stand the taste of alcohol, but tonight he needed something strong and numbing to rush through his bloodstream. He wouldn’t get through the night otherwise.

  They sat in silence for a long while. Terence’s gaze was fixed on the TV screen, but blind to the tennis match. Several times his phone vibrated inside his pocket. It had to be Lacey asking where he was—it was after 9 p.m. and he should have been home by now—but he couldn’t bring himself to pick up. He couldn’t even look at her name on the screen.

  “You didn’t have to cancel your date,” Terence said and raised the glass to his mouth. “I just needed a few minutes to catch my breath. I’ll be out of your way soon.”

  Marion shrugged. “You did me a favor. I was kind of looking for an excuse to get out of it.”

  “Do you ever have serious relationships?” Terence looked at his brother.

  “Nah. Marriage isn’t for me. The thought of sleeping next to the same woman every day for the rest of my life freaks me out.” Marion laughed. “Or maybe I haven’t met the one yet. Not everyone is as lucky as you, you know.”

  “Yeah… luck is subjective.” Terence inhaled sharply. “I signed up for a wife. A kid was never part of the plan.”

  “You never know. You might find you like being a dad.” Marion put down his glass and ran a hand over his buzz cut. “I don’t understand what your deal is. You have what most men would kill for. A beautiful wife who loves you and a baby on the way.”

  Terence was quiet for a long time. “What if I end up like him?” he finally said. “What if I hurt my child the way he hurt me?”

  “Isn’t it too late to be thinking like that?”