by Layla Nash
"And once we find these guys, we're going to...?"
Tate felt Zoe and Sarah Jane watching him, but he didn't care. His fist clenched and relaxed on his knee, the only way he could keep himself in his seat. The pain in his joints helped him focus. "We're going to get the baby back. We're going to get rid of the shit in the car. And then she is going to leave town. For good."
No one had to ask which 'she' he meant. Sarah Jane paled but didn't speak. She didn't move. Zoe, though, leaned forward. "Look, asshole."
Tate blinked, and half the nurses at the nearby nursing station looked up. The pregnant lady didn't give a shit, but she lowered her voice anyway. "It is not her fault."
"If she didn't show up with this shit, Rosie wouldn't be back there getting stitched up, fighting for her life. That baby is innocent, it's not her fault, and we're damn well going to save her, but that's it. We can't have this crazy shit in Bear Creek. We won't." He folded his arms over his chest, fighting the urge to walk away.
A muscle in Sarah Jane's jaw jumped as she ground her teeth, and she carefully moved Zoe out of the way so she could focus on Tate, even though he refused to look at her. Her voice didn't shake, and neither did her hands as she confronted him. "Don't you dare judge me. We all make choices in life, and yes, some of mine weren't the best. But I didn't have a lot to work with starting out. I'm doing the best I can and I'm working my ass off to make things better. But I can't rewind. I can't undo some of the things I've done. I made my peace with that. But fuck you if you're going to sit there and judge me for it. That's your problem, not mine."
Tate turned and stared at her halfway through the rant, the mountain lion nearly shocked into silence that she challenged him so directly. He opened his mouth to argue or counter or just agree with her that it was a shitty situation, but Zoe launched forward again, eyes going gold as the mama bear reared up.
"I could have easily been in Sarah Jane's shoes, Tate, and don't you for a second think that I didn't have to make some tough choices. How dare you?" Zoe's lips thinned to a knife clash across her rounded face, and she looked ready to simply deck him. Instead, she pointed at the wide, automatic doors to the ER. "You should probably go take a walk and see if you can pull your head out of your ass."
Tate stared at her, furious and ashamed at the same time, and couldn't move. But she didn't budge, her arm unwavering as she continued showing him the way out, and when Tate expected some support from his old battle buddy, Simon had nothing to say. The alpha bear sat silently next to him, but his expression remained passive behind the beard.
Tate shoved to his feet and strode out into the freezing night air, wanting to put his fist through something. Zoe didn't understand. She saw the girl and the baby and got lost in a sad story. Sarah Jane represented a whole slew of poor life choices, and Tate had his own bad choices to deal with in spades. He didn't need a mate who also suffered from terrible judgment.
He still stalked the perimeter of the parking lot when Killswitch called back, and Tate's heart climbed to his throat as the crooked agent started with, "I've got good news and bad news."
Tate braced himself for the worst.
Chapter 22
Sarah Jane
It felt like forever before they moved Rosie out of the exposed ER bay and into a recovery area. Simon and Zoe spoke in hushed tones in the hall while SJ collapsed in a heap in the chair next to Rosie's bed. The cougar looked awful — bruised and swollen and wan, with a whistle in her chest as she breathed. SJ held her hand gingerly, not wanting to disturb the IVs in the back of Rosie's hand, and tried not to cry more. She failed.
SJ buried her face in the bed next to Rosie's side, struggling to regain her composure. Dakota was out there somewhere, alone and afraid, and SJ couldn't get her. She didn't know who to hurt or track down or what to do to save her baby. She hated feeling helpless. She'd been helpless most of her life, and just as she got herself free of Chuck and his bullshit, something else happened to knock her back down.
Rosie groaned and moved her arm, and SJ froze, looking up at her. The older woman patted SJ's shoulder, her eyes only partially open, and wheezed a bit before she formed words. "It'll be okay, honey."
"I'm so sorry, Rosie." SJ wanted to squeeze her hand to reassure herself, but she didn't want to hurt her friend. She'd never seen Rosie look so helpless, and it terrified SJ to the depths of her soul. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. It's —"
"It's not your fault." Rosie tried to sit up, wincing, but managed to lift her head to meet SJ's watery gaze. "Those men had no right to come after you. It will be okay."
"Dakota is missing. They have her somewhere out there, and I can't g-get to her." SJ had to clamp her lips together to stop from completely going unhinged, and gripped the rail of the bed until her knuckles ached. "They have my baby. They have my b-baby, Rosie."
"We'll find her." But Rosie's dazed eyes filled with tears. "Simon and Tate, they'll —"
"Not Tate." SJ tried to stuff down the bitter grief that he'd betrayed her so quickly after she invited him into her life. She'd slept with him and he threw that away. SJ rested her head on her arm where it lay on the bed next to Rosie, and struggled to remain calm. "Not him."
"He barked at you?" A hint of a smile or a grimace crossed Rosie's face, and disappeared before she went on. "He's got some rough edges, SJ. A person doesn't live through the things he's done without being a bit sharp. That's no excuse. But I know he's a good guy. I've seen it. He's protective of me, and I've no doubt that me being hurt is scaring him, too. But I'm fine. I'll be fine."
"I know you will be." SJ squeezed her hand, relieved when Rosie squeezed back. "You're strong, Rosie. I wish I could be half as strong as you are."
"You're twice as strong as me, sugar." Rosie sighed and wiped at where a single tear escaped down her cheek. "Even with everything you've been through, honey, you still hope. You trust. You love. I had my heart broken once by one son of a bitch, and I've been too scared to let anyone else in. I might joke around with Tate but if he ever took me up on the offer..." Rosie trailed off, then shook her head. "I don't know what I'd do. But you've got such a good heart, SJ, and a strong character. He'll see it, I know he will. There's something between you and Tate, honey, something stronger than either of you. Just give him a chance. For me."
SJ wanted to believe her. She didn't want to think that Tate had been so casually cruel, telling her to get out of town, but SJ didn't want to trust anyone too easily. She should have learned her lesson after Chuck, and she'd damn well learned her lesson after sleeping with Tate. He'd turned on a dime and was suddenly trying to run her out of town. Well, SJ had reasons to stay in Bear Creek, and she wasn't giving up her fresh start just so Tate could feel better about his grouchy damn past.
SJ rested her chin on the rail of the bed, watching Rosie's face and hoping for a sign that she healed up. SJ wanted Rosie with her when they went to get Dakota back, even if that seemed like an impossibility. "I think maybe I'll be by myself for a while, Rosie. Just me and Dakota and you. I want my fresh start. I don't think I got a proper one, and I'm going to stay with you until you're better and I can pay you back for everything you've done for me and Dakota."
"You don't owe me anything, darlin." Rosie sighed and moved a little in the bed, her expression tightening, before she fumbled with a button on the side of her bed and triggered some painkillers. She relaxed and her eyes fluttered closed, but she managed to whisper, "Just get that baby back, SJ, and we'll figure everything else out one step at a time."
SJ nearly choked on the words, "I promise," but by then, Rosie was unconscious. SJ fought back tears and kept holding her hand, not wanting to break that connection. If she could have willed Rosie back to perfect health, she would have. Instead, all she could do was watch Rosie breathe and hope for a miracle.
SJ didn't move when the door opened behind her, and several people walked in. Zoe smiled at her as she took the chair on the other side of the bed, and held on to Rosie's other hand.
"I'm going to stay here with her, Sarah Jane, so you can go handle the other business."
"Other business?" SJ sat up, looking at the grim expressions on Simon and Tate as they stood at the foot of the bed.
"We located the phone the kidnappers are using," Simon said. SJ's heart leapt as she started to hope that maybe Dakota's ordeal would be over sooner rather than later. But Simon raised his hands to forestall her optimistic questions. "We don't know if they've got the baby in the same place, so we sent some of our friends to scout out the location. The phone is pinging in one of the parks near our land, out where there are a couple of old cabins. But we're hoping that Dakota is there with them, so the three of us will head back to town to retrieve that car and so you can call them and set up a meeting."
She blinked, feeling like everything had gone from slow and dreamlike while talking to Rosie to a sudden whirlwind of activity the moment the men opened the door. And the 'three of us' Simon meant seemed to include SJ instead of Zoe. SJ sat up, massaging her temples. "If we know where they are, why would we call them? Isn't it better to just surprise them?"
"We want to draw them out," Tate said through gritted teeth. "If they're hunkered down in a cabin, we need to get them out and get eyes on the baby. It’s best if they just hand you the baby and let you walk away. We don't want to have to fight them, because it increases the chances that someone will get hurt. That someone else will get hurt."
The addition was like a dagger, twisting in her back. Zoe shot him a dirty look and SJ tried to numb over her heart. Clearly Tate didn't care at all how much he hurt her. Fine. She was over it. She'd stick with what she told Rosie — SJ would focus on Dakota and their fresh start. There wasn't room for men in that future. Not yet, and not him.
She didn't react to his juvenile bullshit, and instead looked at Simon. "Give me the phone number and tell me what you want me to say."
Tate held out a paper, about to talk, and SJ took the paper but held up her hand to cut him off before he even started. She refused to feel any regret for what might have been between them as she met his smoldering gaze. "I'm not going to put up with that kind of attitude. I've accepted too much abuse from assholes like you, and I'm not going to do that anymore. Until you can speak to me respectfully and civilly, we've got nothing to discuss."
She turned her attention back to Simon, and waited. The big guy's eyebrows arched, and for a moment SJ feared he might refuse to help her because of the way she spoke to his friend. She wavered, ready to apologize, but then Simon nodded. "We can brainstorm on the drive back to Bear Creek. Why don't you stay here with Rosie another few minutes while I have a conversation with Tate outside? We'll leave as soon as I'm done discussing some... strategy with him."
From the look on Simon's face, strategy was a code word for an ass-kicking. SJ didn't mind at all, and figured it might help adjust Tate's attitude. She didn't say anything as Simon growled something at Tate and followed him into the hall, but the door wasn't quite closed all the way before Simon snarled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
SJ didn't have it in her to smile, not after everything that had happened, but Zoe caught her eye and shook her head. The pregnant woman sighed and put her feet up on an extra chair. "I don't know why he's being such a dick, honestly. I've never seen Tate behave like this. I think Simon will straighten him out."
"That would be nice." SJ left it at that, only resting her head on the mattress once more so she could watch Rosie breathe. It felt better to have a plan, even if it seemed like a lot of dangerous, scary shit lay ahead. At least Simon and Zoe and Rosie were on her side, even if Tate wasn't.
Chapter 23
Tate felt the storm coming before Simon grabbed him and shoved him into the hall, but he couldn't stop the rage from taking over. He was so angry about it, to the point where he wondered if maybe the mountain lion had taken over and he'd lost total control. But then Simon threw him into the wall and grabbed his throat, pinning Tate against a row of clipboards and preventing him from speaking as Simon's grip tightened.
The alpha bear growled, low and dangerous. "Look, asshole. This isn't you. I know this isn't you, because I'm having a hard time remembering why I like you. If this is about Rosie being hurt, every single one of us would have done the same thing — you try to tell me you wouldn't have died trying to save the cub, and I'll beat the shit out of you for lying."
Tate's breath gurgled in his throat as he tried to breathe, and he gripped Simon's wrist with enough of the cougar's claws coming out that the bear dropped him. Tate scowled, rubbing his neck, and retreated a few feet so the clipboards didn't jab into his back. "Like I said before, none of this would have happened if this girl hadn't shown up in Bear Creek. Everything will go back to the way it was when she leaves."
"She's not leaving, and you're an idiot if you think that." Simon ran a hand through his already rumpled hair. "And even if she did, nothing's going to be the same. First and foremost because Rosie will hate you for driving her goddaughter away. And second because Sarah Jane is your mate."
"She can't be. It's a mistake." Tate wanted to run. The mountain lion wanted to head south or west or anywhere and keep running until they found sunshine and a desert. Sand and ocean waves warm enough to be bathwater.
"She's yours." Simon shook his head, turning away for a moment to pace before he confronted Tate again. "Here's the thing, shit-head. Mates aren't always what we expect or plan for, okay? Not in a million years could I have pictured Zoe as the other half of my soul, but she is. She is. And now that I know her, I can't imagine anyone else."
"I don't want to hear about your great love story, okay?" Tate debated how far he'd have to push Simon to get the bear to attack him and give him an excuse to run. Tate didn't need Bear Creek. He didn't. He could roam the world alone again, just like he had after those last years in the Legion.
"Well, you're going to." Simon grabbed the front of Tate's shirt and shoved him against the wall again. "Because here's the thing, Thaddeus. We get the mate we need, not the one we want. We get the person who makes us better. The person who challenges us. It's not about whatever French girl broke your heart five years ago, because don't think I don't know about that; it's about the person who will make you a better man. And that's Sarah Jane."
"You don't know shit about France or Monique or what happened." Tate growled, once more digging his nails into Simon's wrist, but that time, the bear didn't budge. "Not everything has a happy ending, okay? I don't give a shit what the universe thinks I need. I don't need anything, I don't need anyone, and I sure as hell don't need her."
"So you're going to walk away from this, from everything. From us." Simon let the words hang between them, and when Tate didn't respond, the bear released him. "Because you're too stubborn to recognize what's in front of you."
Tate leaned against the wall, and not because he wanted to. The feeling left his legs and the world tilted around him as he stared at the ceiling and contemplated the next few years of his life. He heard Simon's footsteps retreating and hesitated, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to talk about it. He really didn't. But the words escaped anyway, just before Simon disappeared around the corner. "I told Monique. What I am. I told her about the Legion and the things we did. I told her everything because I thought she was the one."
Simon's steps halted but Tate couldn't look at him. It hurt enough to talk about without risking seeing sympathy in his friend's face. Tate gritted his teeth and forced himself to go on. "And she left. She took the cat and left without another word."
The silence stretched with only the uneven rasp of Tate's breathing to break it. He couldn't move, couldn't feel. He hated himself and the world, but most of all he hated that he still loved Monique just a little bit. Tate stared at the opposite wall, not really seeing a damn thing on it. "I can't do that again."
"You don't have to." Simon strode back up, his words landing low and fast around Tate. "You fucking idiot. You told Sarah Jane, didn't you? She knows. And she d
idn't run away. You were the one who did. You're the one who's ruining this. And you're the one who can fix it."
"I don't know if I want to." Tate rubbed his face. "It's not fair to her."
"Bullshit. That's an excuse." Simon cut off whatever Tate was about to say, and the alpha bear held up his hands. "Then consider this, Thaddeus. It is physically painful for me to be away from Zoe. It hurts to not be near her. Like someone is punching me in the chest, over and over, and trying to tear my heart out at the same time. There are consequences if you walk away from your mate, asshole, so keep that in mind. That's not a reason to stay if you can't be a good mate to her, but it's not easier to walk away just because you want it to be."
"Don't use my name," Tate said under his breath. "Ass."
"Then don't be an uptight fuck-up." Simon glanced at his watch, then tilted his head at the door to Rosie's room. "I'm going to say good-bye to my mate and make sure that Rosie is all set, then we're driving back to Bear Creek and we'll get the baby back. What you do after that is up to you."
Tate didn't have anything else to say to that, and stood in the empty hall by himself, trying to understand what he would say to Sarah Jane if he left. Or how he could convince Zoe that everything would be okay. But Simon's words stuck with him: not the mate he wanted, but the mate he needed. Tate frowned and leaned against the wall. He didn't know what the hell he needed from Sarah Jane.
Just as Tate debated walking back into the room so he could have a private conversation with Rosie to ask her advice, his phone rang. Killswitch got right to business as soon as Tate answered. "There's a slight problem."
Tate pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "It wouldn't be right if there wasn't."