A Lion Shame (Bear Creek Grizzlies Book 3)

by Layla Nash

  He didn't care about getting shot. He cared about protecting Sarah Jane. He heard Kira's distinctive jaguar roar, and knew the other shifter guarded the baby — but Sarah Jane just heard the baby's cries. Tate saw it on her face when he dragged one of the bastards away from her, and Sarah Jane ran for the cabin. Right through the crossfire. Tate snarled and shouldered Finn aside, chasing after Sarah Jane as she charged right into the unknown.

  He fought off the chaos in his brain as the bright flashes from the guns and the sharp smell of fear and spent ammunition hurled him back to another time. To more dangerous times. The world changed around him, from a nighttime forest to a sunny desert. Cold to heat. Terror to terror. He shook it off, almost slamming into the door of the cabin, and focused only on Sarah Jane. She was the center of his universe. She was everything.

  The lion growled as one of the guys lurched out of a side room and almost slammed into Sarah Jane, and Tate ran his claws through the man, leaving a bloody heap behind. All Tate's life was chaos, a search for stability and something meaningful. He'd joined the Legion to find a home and a purpose, and he followed Simon for the same reason after they left the Legion. And still it wasn't enough. Still Tate had an empty place inside him that nothing seemed to fill.

  Monique had been like a drug — numbing him to what was really missing. Lulling him into thinking everything was better and complete. And yet it was nothing. She left and he was still... empty.

  Until Sarah Jane. She gave him focus. She forced him to confront the chaos in his life and the way he lived, careening from one crisis to another. That chaos drove him crazy, and he was too dumb to realize it. He tried to live everywhere and everything, and ended up loving nothing and no one. Nothing held meaning until he saw her, and he'd almost blown it. Almost ruined it.

  The mountain lion growled and Tate's paws slid on the bloody floor as he chased after Sarah Jane. She cried out when she reached the back room, and Tate's heart drop. God, no. Please. Not the baby.

  He hadn't prayed in years. Decades, maybe. But he prayed in the eternity of five heartbeats it took for him to round the corner and spot Sarah Jane leaning over a mattress on the floor, a bloody jaguar and a dead man in the corner.

  After all the chaos of the yard, the silence inside struck him to his soul. The baby wasn't crying. She didn't make a sound.

  Chapter 28

  Sarah Jane

  SJ blacked out for a moment when she thought the man pulled the trigger and everything went crazy. She thought she'd been shot but nothing hurt, and then the men and the guns disappeared in a melee of fur and claws and teeth. Growling. She looked down and thought she saw Tate's mountain lion side, chewing on the guy who said Chuck called her a bitch, but a thought raced through her brain like a bolt of lightning.

  Dakota.

  SJ ran for the cabin, her heart in her throat, and it felt like a marathon. A million miles between her and her baby. She tripped over a rug in the doorway, and ducked as someone moved inside the cabin and she braced for a bat or a bullet or anything. But something growled next to her and instead Tate was a golden blur of rage that took care of whatever threatened her.

  She couldn't stop to thank him. Dakota wasn't crying.

  Her baby. She needed her baby.

  SJ's breath sobbed in her chest as she shoved doors open, thinking only of the room where Dakota waited. With a jaguar. She prayed the jaguar was still there, still protecting Dakota. The hallway stretched in front of her, and even though she only checked four rooms, it might as well have been four hundred. The last one, the very last room in the back, revealed an old mattress on the floor, blood on the walls, and a tiny, still bundle in the middle of the rumpled sheets. A jaguar lay bloody and silent next to a dead man.

  She barely saw them.

  SJ launched across the room to the mattress, ignoring as Tate snarled behind her, and reached for Dakota. Dakota.

  The baby didn't move. She didn't move. SJ started sobbing before she even touched her, dreading the rest of her life and thinking it was probably best just to walk back into the gunfire, but then... Then Dakota opened her eyes, blinking, and her whole face wobbled. A fat tear rolled down her cheek and she screamed loud enough that SJ's ears rang and buzzed.

  It was the sweetest music she'd ever heard.

  SJ held Dakota, squeezed her to her chest, and closed her eyes. Something nudged her and she found Tate next to her, trying to push her back to the door, and SJ paused, looking at the jaguar. The big cat raised her head and made a grumbling noise, making the same 'get out of here' gesture that Tate did, so SJ said, "Thank you. More than you can possibly know, thank you," and she went.

  She stopped short, face to face with a bear, and bit back a scream as Dakota continued to howl. The baby smelled to high heaven, so clearly a diaper change was in order, and she hadn't eaten in God only knew how long. But the bear snorted and made a weird groan, then lumbered down the hall to an open door.

  Freedom. Fresh air. Away from the strange noises in the cabin and the encroaching darkness and the nightmare of the last day. SJ followed the bear, only half-aware of the mountain lion pacing behind her, and stumbled into the open. A few naked people stood in the clearing, surrounding the car, and several bodies lay strewn about the clearing. Something large crashed through the trees in the distance, and when SJ stared in that direction, one of the naked men smiled. "Just Cooper going for a run. We've got 'em all. Don't worry."

  "Th-thanks," SJ said. Her cheeks burned as she looked the man only in the face, trying not to see any other nudity in her peripheral vision, but by then the bear led her across the clearing to where a new SUV idled behind the drug car.

  A young woman sat behind the wheel, but got out to open one of the back doors. "I'm Samantha, one of the wolves. The sheriff, Wyatt, is my big brother. He said you might need some help. I brought diapers and wipes and new clothes and pretty much everything I could think of, so if you want to settle in back here with the little one, I'll drive us to town so you can... Well, you can do whatever you want."

  And she smiled. SJ almost burst into tears. She stumbled to a halt and looked around, wanting to say something to Tate, but the mountain lion had disappeared and SJ didn't recognize any of the naked men in the yard as him. Dakota kept screaming, furious at the world, and SJ didn't want to keep her in the cold any longer. So she ducked into the SUV's roomy back seat with a quiet thank you to Samantha, and tried to put the world back together for her baby.

  They had one stop to make on the way back to town, and then SJ could make everything right.

  Chapter 29

  Tate

  It took forever to clean up at the cabin. Tate was the only one who could put the drug car back together, and he made sure it looked pristine for the raid in the morning. Time ticked away, though, and Tate didn't want any of them lingering in the area in case one of the agencies got froggy and went earlier than dawn. He kept looking for SJ even after the sheriff said his sister took Sarah Jane back to town.

  The realization of how much he needed her hit him over the head like a baseball bat. Even in the middle of the fight, he'd had perfect clarity. She was exactly what he needed. And exactly what he wanted.

  Kira had been injured in the fight to protect the baby, so Ethan nearly lost his mind, but she shifted back to human and the healing took care of the rest. She still had a few scratches but nothing that required a trip to the hospital. Ethan's medical training was enough to stitch her up, even though he kept getting distracted by Kira herself. Simon shoved them into one of the SUVs to go back to the Lodge before things got out of hand, and then Tate was alone in the clearing as the wolves faded back into the trees and Cooper waited to drive him back to town.

  Tate hadn't checked the compartment behind the license plate on the shitty sedan. Part of him didn't want to know if she hid the money. The gamble sort of worked out. But he finally popped the license plate and clicked the switches, and revealed the empty compartment. She'd emptied out all the cash. Tate h
oped they could get it back fast enough to re-pack the car before the raid. The cops might not look kindly on someone stealing that much money, even if Killswitch was in the driver's seat.

  Cooper drove, but not fast enough for Tate. He stared out the window and tried to calm the lion. At least he'd brought a change of clothes and didn't end up naked or in borrowed sweatpants after the rage-shift.

  Cooper handed him something and said, "They found this next to the other car. Simon said it's yours."

  The burner phone. He frowned at it, but tucked it away just in case something came up. Sarah Jane had been one of the last people to touch it — it still smelled a little like her, even through the cheap plastic.

  Tate didn't speak though, and it wasn't long until Cooper tried again, clearing his throat. "We heard from Zoe at the hospital. Rosie's awake and doing better. They might end up keeping her for a few days, just to make sure there weren't any internal injuries. Zoe said she wasn't healing as fast as she should have, so Rosie probably had the flu or something to start with."

  "That's good." Tate knew Cooper meant well; it wasn't the kid's fault that Tate wanted to jump out of his own skin rather than say more than a few words. "Thanks for your help earlier, looking out for the baby. Finn said you did a lot."

  Cooper shrugged, pulling the SUV onto the main street. "It really wasn't —"

  He trailed off as Tate kicked open the door as the SUV slowed outside Rosie's, and Tate leapt out. Cooper called after him, "I'll just park the car."

  Tate barely heard him. He took the stairs two at a time, knocking on the door and waiting for an answer even though he wanted to shoulder right through the brand new solid metal. His boots disturbed the welcome mat outside the door, though, and a small white envelope appeared. Tate picked it up, his heart in his throat. It smelled like Sarah Jane.

  The envelope contained the house keys they'd left with her, and nothing else. No note. Tate fumbled the damn things as he tried to unlock the door, growling in frustration, and finally managed to get into the apartment. It was dark and still. Silent.

  Empty.

  He couldn't breathe. All the air disappeared from the room and for a moment, the world tilted around him and Tate really thought he might faint. She wasn't there. Sarah Jane wasn't there.

  Tate searched the apartment anyway, hoping against hope that she'd just fallen asleep and only accidentally left the keys outside. But no. She was gone, and Dakota was gone, and so were all of their things. Only the crib remained in the spare bedroom. Every other trace that Sarah Jane had been there disappeared along with her.

  Cooper stood in the kitchen by the time Tate forced himself to leave the room that still carried some of Sarah Jane's scent, and the younger man raised his eyebrows when he saw Tate's expression. "Not what you were expecting?"

  "No." Tate shook his head, staring around the clean apartment. A normal human wouldn't have been able to tell a gruesome murder nearly took place there only a day earlier. But he could still smell the blood under the bleach and cleaning chemical smells. Tate wondered if Rosie would be able to sleep there ever again, with the smell and the memories. He pushed aside the thought. Time to figure that out later. "Maybe she went to the hospital to check on Rosie."

  "Samantha told Wyatt she dropped Sarah Jane off here and that was it. Does she have another car?"

  "Maybe Rosie's," Tate said, and went to the window to check the bartender's favorite parking spot. Empty. "Which is gone."

  "I'll call Zoe and check," Cooper said, and wandered into the living room as he fussed with his phone.

  Tate's stomach sank as he looked around the apartment. Maybe Sarah Jane just left. Maybe she'd had enough of the craziness and danger of being around shifters. Maybe she had enough of Tate. Or maybe it had been her plan all along. Scam Rosie, scam Tate and everyone else, then steal the drug money and hightail it out of there for another town and another fool. His chest hurt just thinking about it.

  He watched Cooper, trying to predict where the future would lead him as the mountain lion started to pace anxiously in the back of his head, and his pocket vibrated. Tate frowned as he pulled his cell phone out, hoping it was Sarah Jane but knowing it wouldn't be.

  Instead, Killswitch's gruff voice reached him through a lot of noise and arguing. "Hey partner. Funny thing happened on the way to work today."

  Tate checked the time; barely past one in the morning. Certainly not close to dawn, like Killswitch had told him. "Shit happens when you show up early."

  "Yeah, about that. Things changed. I meant to tell you, but you know."

  Tate knew, all right. That son of a bitch meant to catch them at the cabin as well, maybe angling for a bribe or a flashy gun-fight. The lion growled and Tate gritted his teeth to keep the animal from breaking free again. Killswitch had endangered Sarah Jane and Dakota, too. "Good to know you've got my back."

  "Don't get all butt-hurt, man." Killswitch shouted at someone before returning to the phone and lowering his voice. "But we get here and all of these dudes are dead. Mauled by animals or some shit. You know anything about that?"

  Tate didn't say anything, since Killswitch was good at hearing lies regardless of how well Tate told them. And Killswitch had probably already made up his mind that Tate was responsible, which made it even more dangerous to deny it. Then Killswitch knew Tate had something to hide. So instead he said nothing.

  After a while, Killswitch chuckled. "Right. Don't know why I asked."

  "Have a good life, Killswitch." Tate wanted to hang up and get a new number. He didn't want Killswitch knowing how to find him, even if the man specialized in finding things that didn't want to be found.

  "Before you cut me off," Killswitch said, too casual for it to be a simple request or good-bye. The hair prickled on the back of Tate's neck as the corrupt cop went on. "You were right — it's definitely Smitty's work. Top notch work. We found all of it, but one of the compartments was empty. The only one that was cleaned out. You know anything about that?"

  "I didn't touch the car." But Tate knew who had. He hoped Sarah Jane was smart enough to have used gloves, so they couldn't track her down by her fingerprints. "If someone took what was in there, I'm guessing they needed it and probably don't have anything you want."

  "If there was anything in there to start with," Killswitch said, almost a reminder. "Since these guys clearly weren't at the top of their game, getting killed by wolves even when they had a fuckin' arsenal of weapons, maybe they forgot about that compartment."

  "Maybe." Tate waited, wondering if Killswitch would ask him for a favor, or remind him of a new debt. "I hope you got the win, man."

  "Oh, I did, brother." Killswitch chuckled again, and someone else shouted at him through the uneven connection. "Bet your ass I got the win."

  The call ended and Tate stood there, staring at the phone, until Cooper moved behind him. Sarah Jane took the money. She took it, just like she said she had.

  Cooper cleared his throat. "Zoe said no one's been by the hospital. Simon's headed that way, he'll check and see if maybe Sarah Jane is..."

  "She's gone." Tate stared out the window at the dark street and the empty parking spot. "She took the money and she left."

  "She'll be back," Cooper said, slapping his shoulder. "She probably just needed to get some of her stuff or something for the baby. She'll be back to check on Rosie, at least."

  "Maybe." Tate didn't think so. Sarah Jane was a runner. Things got tough, she ran. She made a bad decision — she ran. Someone started to care about her... She ran.

  He stood there for a long time before Cooper finally convinced him to go back to his apartment and clean up from the fight, but even then, Tate didn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling over his bed as the window grew light and the sounds of the town waking up filled his apartment. The mountain lion wanted to stay in bed all day, unable to move. Tate understood for the first time what Simon had been talking about, when he said it was physically painful to be separated from his mate. He couldn't
breathe, thinking about Sarah Jane, and his heart nearly stopped when he rolled over and disturbed the pillow where she'd lain and her scent enveloped him.

  Even when he mourned losing Monique, he'd been able to get out of bed and carry on. It hurt but it didn't feel like he was going to die. Losing Sarah Jane left him crippled. Crippled and alone. He kept the burner phone, in the off chance she still had the number and might call it, but when his phones started ringing, it was only Simon or Zoe or Cooper, trying to cajole him out of bed. Tate stopped answering.

  Chapter 30

  Sarah Jane

  It took SJ almost a week to get everything taken care of. She drove back to her school and paid off the bills, finally getting her diploma and certification. She repaid a landlord and closed out the storage shed where she'd kept a few mementos she hadn't trusted in Chuck's care. It felt final, instead of the chaos of fleeing Chuck's rage in the middle of a nighttime blizzard. It still hurt when she thought of leaving Bear Creek the way she had, but SJ knew if she'd stayed, Tate would have talked her out of doing things her way or made her give the money back. And she'd earned that money, with every insult and threat and punch Chuck threw her way. She earned it driving that car up to the cabin, and Dakota earned a chunk of it for surviving. It wasn't often the universe was kind to SJ, and she wasn't going to overlook an opportunity when it came about.

  She still felt rushed and a little unnerved as she drove back to Sage Hill, passing the diner where Chuck had wanted her to leave the drug-laden car, and went straight to the hospital. It was a pleasant morning, if cold as hell, and SJ didn't have Dakota quite as bundled up as usual. It almost felt like spring was arriving, like everything would be new and fresh again. She thought she saw grass trying to poke its way through some of the snow.