He blinked at her, stunned. “You’re here?”
Jesus, does he not even remember calling?
“Yes, I’m here. Come on. You’re going home,” she said, taking the drink from his hand and placing it on the bar. She realized a beat too late that perhaps it wasn’t the best idea; she had no idea what kind of drunk he was, whether he would get angry or belligerent if she took his drink away.
But instead he slunk out of the chair, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. She brought her hands up to his biceps to brace herself, and he buried his face in her hair as he inhaled deeply. “You’re here,” he said again, and this time it sounded like a prayer.
Leah stood frozen for a moment before she closed her eyes.
He’s drunk. He has no idea what he’s doing. He doesn’t even remember calling you. Just get him home.
“Okay, come on,” she said, using her hands on his biceps to push him away gently. He held her firmly for another second before he relented, releasing his hold on her and taking a step backward. Leah slid her hand down his arm before timidly wrapping her hand around his wrist to keep him next to her while she leaned over the bar.
“Excuse me?” she said, and the bartender looked up. “Can I have his keys?”
The bartender shook his head, his expression never changing as he went back to drying glasses and stacking them. “I don’t have his keys.”
“Okay, well is Joe still working?”
The bartender chuckled as he slung the rag over his shoulder. “Sweetheart, either you’ve had a little too much to drink, or you’re at the wrong bar. There’s no Joe that works here.”
Leah stared blankly at him before she turned to Danny. “Where’s Joe? Where’s the guy who has your keys?”
He dropped his head, resting his forehead on her shoulder as he fisted the side of her sweatshirt. “The other bar,” he mumbled, and Leah closed her eyes, sighing heavily.
At least now she knew why he’d been served. This wasn’t the place that had cut him off. The only good news was that she knew he hadn’t driven to McGillicuddy’s, so the other bar had to be within drunken walking distance.
“Excuse me?” Leah said, leaning over the bar again, and the guy glanced up, a condescending expression on his face. “Is there another bar near here?”
“Across the street,” he said, as he turned to lift a bin of glasses from the floor.
“Thanks,” she said before she turned her attention back to Danny, sliding her fingers under his chin and lifting his head. He opened his eyes, smiling softly as he focused on her face.
“Come on. I need you to walk with me,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist. She had no idea how she was going to hold him if he couldn’t walk, but as she took a step, thankfully he followed.
“Get home safe,” the bartender said as they passed, and she held her hand up behind her in acknowledgement. As they exited the bar, Leah’s eyes scanned the opposite street until she located a tiny pub called The Alley.
“There?” she asked, and Danny shrugged.
“Sure.”
Leah shook her head. “No, I’m not asking if you want to go there…ugh, just forget it. Let’s go,” she said, pulling him across the street.
As they entered the bar, the guy standing behind the tap turned to look at them. “You here for his keys?” he asked, and Leah nodded.
“Yeah, sorry about this,” she said.
“Don’t you apologize,” Danny murmured into her hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He pressed his lips to the crown of her head, and Leah squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach that the intimate gesture invoked.
He’s drunk. He’s drunk. He’s completely oblivious and drunk.
The bartender fished under the bar and came up with Danny’s keys, handing them to Leah.
“Thanks for looking out for him,” she said as she turned them toward the exit, and the guy nodded, giving her a flimsy salute.
Once they were back out on the street, Danny began leaning a bit more of his weight on her, and she wrapped both arms around his waist, trying to steady him. “Just a little farther, okay? My car is right there.”
“Where’s my car?” he asked, and Leah shook her head.
“You’re not driving tonight. Please don’t argue, okay? I have your keys. You can come back and get your car tomorrow.”
He leaned down, pressing his lips to the top of her head again. “I would never tell you no,” he said into her hair. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
She gritted her teeth together, trying to focus on getting them across the street. Right foot, left foot. Right foot, left foot. Not his breath in her hair, or his hands on her body, or those words on his lips. Right foot, left foot.
She managed to help him into the passenger side, and as she walked around the back of the car, she saw him fall forward, burying his face in his hands as he rested on the dashboard. She stopped short, biting her lower lip as she looked in the back seat for a plastic bag, or a container of some type.
She hadn’t even thought about the possibility of him getting sick.
Leah rubbed her hand over her forehead before she slid into the driver’s seat and closed the door, and she placed her hand on his lower back, rubbing soothing circles.
“Do you feel sick?”
He shook his head.
“If you need me to pull over, just tell me, okay?”
He nodded.
She took a breath as she dropped her hand from his back. “Alright,” she said as she exhaled. “Where do you live?”
“In my apartment,” he mumbled into the dashboard.
“That’s helpful, Danny,” she sighed, looking around the car. She noticed the outline of his wallet through the back pocket of his pants, and Leah bit her lip before she reached over and slid her hand into his pocket, removing the wallet.
“Leah,” he groaned. “What are you doing to me?”
“I need your ID so I can get your address. Just shush, okay?”
She quickly typed his address into her phone’s GPS before folding his wallet and dropping it into her cup holder, and just as she pulled out onto the street, he fell back against the seat, his hands falling limply into his lap.
“A year. Can you believe it? How could it be a year?”
“What’s a year?” she asked softly.
He dragged his hands down his face before he exhaled heavily. “What the fuck was I thinking?” he yelled, causing Leah to jump, and she glanced over at him, blinking quickly.
“I wasn’t thinking, you know? I just…I wasn’t. But what was I supposed to do?” he said, his voice softening significantly. “What was I supposed to do?”
He covered his face with his hands as he rested his forehead on the dash again, and then he slammed his fist down on top of it. “What was I supposed to do?” he asked again, and Leah’s stomach twisted.
She had not the slightest idea what he was talking about, but there was so much pain in his voice that she felt like she might cry.
She knew what that kind of suffering felt like.
Leah took a tiny breath as she reached over and resumed rubbing circles on the small of his back.
“And then you,” he mumbled against the dashboard.
She held her breath, waiting for him to continue, but he never did. He didn’t speak again for the remainder of the drive, and Leah kept her hand on his back, trying to soothe him. It wasn’t until she pulled up to the curb in front of his building that she realized she might have a huge problem on her hands. If he had passed out, based on how drunk he was, there’d be no waking him up. If that were the case, she had no idea how she would get him out of the car and up the stairs.
Leah cut the engine, looking over at him. She watched his back expand and contract with every breath, but he still hadn’t moved.
“Danny?” she said softly, and to her surprise, he turned his head to look at her. He blinked a few times, his eye
s bleary and unfocused as he tried to sit up.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she said as she leaned over and ran her hand through his hair, and he closed his eyes. “You’re home. Let’s get upstairs, okay?”
He nodded wearily, and she exited the car and came around to his side, helping him out onto the sidewalk. He was leaning most of his weight on her as they walked into the lobby, and as they stood waiting for the elevator, Leah’s legs began to tremble with the task.
You’re almost there. Hang in there.
Danny rested his chin on the top of her head as he ran his hand over the back of her hair. “You’re so good, Leah,” he sighed.
She smiled softly as the doors dinged open, and she managed to get them both inside before the doors closed, leaning them up against the wall. He rested his head on top of hers again, and she could see in the reflection of the doors that his eyes were closed.
She could tell he was close to passing out, and Leah glanced at the numbers lighting up above their heads, willing them to go faster.
As soon as the doors opened, she stood up, pulling him to a standing position as she rubbed her hand up and down his side. “Come on, Danny. Almost there, okay?”
By now she was using all her strength just to keep him steady as they stumbled down the hallway toward his door. She had his keys in her hand, and she opened the door quickly before tossing them somewhere on the floor. She needed both arms to help him now, and every muscle in her body strained with the effort.
Leah glanced around the small space quickly, noticing two doorways off the living room. Assuming that his bedroom had to be one of them, she began walking them in that direction.
“Come on. A few more steps,” she said, her voice strained as they tripped and staggered across the living room, and when she turned them into the first doorway and saw his bed, she thought she might cry with relief.
Leah gave him a gentle shove and he lurched forward before falling back onto the mattress with a groan, his eyes already closed.
“Holy shit,” she said to herself, rolling her neck as she leaned up against the wall to catch her breath.
She stared at him, his chest rising and falling with his arms splayed out at his sides, and that’s when she noticed what he was wearing: a dark blue button-down, black slacks, and a belt. She glanced down at the black dress shoes still on his feet and sighed, walking the few steps over to the bed before kneeling down.
Leah undid his laces and removed his shoes, placing them up against the far wall so he wouldn’t trip over them if he got out of bed for any reason tonight.
Okay, that was the easy part.
She stood at the foot of his bed, her hands on her hips as she looked him over.
It would be like seeing him in a bathing suit. It’s not a big deal.
With a deep breath to strengthen her resolve, she climbed up onto the bed and sat on her heels at his side. Just as she brought her fingers to the buckle on his belt, she felt his hand slide up her thigh, coming to rest more than halfway up.
Her breath caught in her throat.
“I lied to you,” he said hoarsely, his eyes still closed.
“About what?” she whispered, her fingers still frozen on his belt buckle.
He laughed lightly, but his face contorted in disgust. “So many things.”
She didn’t want to be affected by him anymore, but she felt her heart drop at his words.
He lied to her?
Leah shook her head quickly. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He didn’t want her, and they weren’t anything to each other. She was just going to make sure he was comfortable, and then she was going to get the hell out of there.
With renewed purpose, she undid the belt buckle, followed by the button on his slacks. Leah gripped the zipper with the ends of her nails, trying to avoid any contact as she slid it down. His hand rode a bit further up her thigh, his thumb beginning to make soft, sensuous passes over the thin material of her pants, and as Leah moved from the bed, his hand slipped from her leg and slapped down onto the mattress. She stood beside him and leaned over, hooking her fingers in the waistband of his pants.
“I lied to you about lunch,” he mumbled.
Before she could even decide if she would play into this or not, he went on. “I wasn’t meeting a friend.”
Leah pursed her lips as her stomach churned. She didn’t want to hear the rest. Instead, she gripped the top of his pants and yanked somewhat forcefully. They jerked over his hips, and she immediately pressed her lips into a hard line as she closed her eyes.
Boxer briefs. Tight, gray boxer briefs.
She exhaled slowly and opened her eyes, tugging his pants the rest of the way down and removing the belt before she folded them and draped them over a nearby chair. She came back to the bed and climbed on, dutifully keeping her eyes above his waist as she started undoing the buttons of his shirt.
His hands came up and grasped hers, stilling her movements as his eyes fluttered partially open.
“I wasn’t meeting a friend. I wasn’t meeting anyone. I lied because I wanted to see you.”
The breath left her body in a soft rush. She had not been expecting that.
“Oh,” she managed softly, but her voice was so quiet, she doubted he heard her.
He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands as his eyes fell closed again. “It was stupid, you know? I didn’t even know you,” he mumbled groggily. “But I kept thinking about you. I saw you at Gram’s, and I kept thinking about you, and I didn’t even fucking know you.”
Leah gently slid her hands out of his grasp as she tried to refocus on undoing his buttons, but she could feel her heartbeat kick up in her chest.
“I had no right to ask you out,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “So I bullshitted you. I bullshitted myself, and I pretended we were just meeting so you could get your bracelet. And then I saw you, and I didn’t want you to leave.”
He was ranting, the words spilling from his mouth like an avalanche, and part of her wanted to stop him. She didn’t want to hear this. Because if what he was saying was true, why did he leave her the way he did last weekend? Why had he spent the past week pretending she didn’t exist?
His hand slid up her thigh again, and Leah ignored it, focusing all her attention on undoing the buttons.
“So I made you have lunch with me,” he muttered. “And you know what? I was kind of hoping I’d hate you. It would have been so much easier if you were a bitch, or an idiot, or someone who annoyed the shit out of me. ‘Cause then I could have just put this shit to bed.”
His hand left her thigh as he brought it up to his face, rubbing his eyes roughly before he let it fall back to the bed with a slap.
“But of course you weren’t any of those things,” he said with another humorless laugh. “You were smart, and sweet…and fucking beautiful,” he added, clasping both of her hands in his again.
She slipped them out of his grasp. “Danny, don’t.”
He smiled softly. “I figured we could just be friends, you know?” His voice was low and throaty as he added, “No harm in that, right?” He shook his head as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes before running them up through his hair. His eyes flew open, but they were bleary and unfocused. “But every time I talk to you, I like you more and more, and every time I see you….it’s so fucking hard, Leah.”
She sat there, unmoving, her fingers poised over one of the buttons as she tried to make sense of his words.
“And that kiss,” he said, covering his face with both hands as he groaned. “My God, that fucking kiss.”
Her heart was thundering in her chest now; there were a million questions she wanted to ask, but she couldn’t formulate them into words.
“And I can’t see you,” he said firmly, dropping his hands to the bed as he shook his head. “I can’t. It’s not fair to you. Shit, it’s not even fair to me.”
Why? Why isn’t it fair?
But the words wouldn’t come
.
“I just wish…God, I wish…” He trailed off as what could only be described as agony clouded his expression, and Leah felt a lump form in her throat.
“Shh,” she said, leaning over to run her hand through his hair, and his eyes fell closed. “Just close your eyes. You’re okay. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”
She sat there for a minute, gently running her hand through his hair until his brow smoothed out and his body relaxed.
Her mind was reeling; none of what he’d said made any sense, and yet she knew he had just given her a huge piece of the puzzle that was him. She just needed to sit down and piece it together.
But not now. Right now, she just wanted to go home.
Leah brought her hands back to his shirt, undoing the remaining buttons before gently sliding it off his body and draping it over the chair with his pants. He was wearing a fitted white V-neck shirt underneath the button-down, and she left it on, figuring that was about as comfortable as he was going to get.
Water. Get him some water.
She made her way through the living room and over to the tiny kitchen, opening his fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. As she walked back to his room, she stopped in the bathroom and grabbed the small wastebasket.
He was sitting up when she entered, his face contorted in sadness as he stared without seeing at the wall in front of him.
“Hey,” Leah said softly as she sat on the bed beside him.
He didn’t move.
“Hey,” she said again, bringing her hand to his face and turning him toward her. It took his eyes a second to focus on her, and when they did, he smiled sadly. He reached up and took the end of her hair between his fingertips.
“You’re gonna leave,” he whispered.
His words made her chest feel heavy, and Leah closed her eyes, needing a break from the intensity of the night. She had no idea why she was responding so viscerally to his suffering, but in that moment, all she wanted to do was take it away for him.
“No, I won’t,” she said softly. “I’ll stay here if you want me to.”
Danny shook his head as his eyes dropped to watch his fingers twirling a strand of her hair. “You’re gonna leave and never look back.”
Coming Home Page 12