by Nikki Kelly
“Ruadhan,” I said with a heavy breath.
“It’s okay,” he began.
The memory of Ruadhan’s death flooded me, and my entire body ached. The events I had been responsible for came to me. I turned my arms over, looking for the tattoos that had belonged to the girl in shadow.
“They’re gone,” he said. “They disappeared last night.”
“I pulled the moon out of the sky,” I said.
Gabriel looked at me, confused. “You must have been dreaming.”
Dreaming? Nothing about what happened had felt like a dream. The way the Earth shook, the way the wind whipped and the screams … Then, his arrival. Emit, the man wearing the jacket. Had he wound back the clock, reversing the destruction I had caused?
“What happened?” I asked.
“After he…” Gabriel stopped, collecting himself. “You were upset. The markings began to stain up your arms, and when they became set, you collapsed. I brought you back here; you’ve been asleep for seven days since.”
Emit must have rewound to the moment before I caused the earthquake, erasing it from everyone’s memory but mine. I recalled the image of Ruadhan sleeping inside Emit’s eye, and it brought me some comfort to think he hadn’t faded into nothing. His soul was safe.
“Jonah?” I said. “Darwin?”
“Darwin is fine. He didn’t say much after. He gathered his things and left.”
“The hairpin—” I started.
“Returned to its rightful owner.” Gabriel answered my question before I had finished it.
I pushed the duvet away and dangled my legs over the side of the bed. “Where’s Jonah?”
Before Gabriel could respond, I heard a child’s cry. I charged into the living area. Iona did a double take when she saw me. Iris, however, wasn’t startled by my sudden arrival. Instead, she stopped wailing and reached her hand out into the air, leaning her weight forward.
“I heard her cry,” I said, smiling at the little girl.
Iona hesitated, staring at me with a strange expression. “Erm—I was trying to read her the picture book Ruadhan gave her. It’s her favorite,” she explained. “But she’s asking for him.”
Iris jumped off Iona’s lap and, with a wobble, began to run over to me. She opened her arms wide as she approached, and I reached for her as she steadied herself, hugging my leg. “Utaflies!” she exclaimed.
“Lailah.” Gabriel was behind me, a mirror in his hand.
He picked up Iris and then handed me the mirror. Before raising it to my face, I felt my cheek: The 3-D butterflies were gone. Emit’s touch had set them free.
When I looked, my reflection startled me.
Still, I wore Brooke’s beautiful butterflies, but they were no longer painted onto a mask. It was as though they had seeped below the prosthetics, tattooing my cheek. Like the galaxies that had swirled and moved across Emit’s skin, the creatures fluttered their wings as though they were alive.
“It’s like you’ve walked in front of a projector,” Iona said, waving her hand up in front of my face as if somehow that’s exactly what was happening and she was trying to find the proof.
“Utaflies! Utaflies! Utaflies!” Iris chanted as she squirmed in Gabriel’s arms, reaching for my face.
Gabriel withdrew, but I said, “It’s okay, let her.”
Iris placed her palm on my cheek and my skin tingled. The butterfly wings tickled her and she giggled, utterly entranced. “Read me!” she squealed finally.
I picked up the picture book from off the floor.
“Unky Ruadhan!” She smacked her leg with her hand.
But Unky Ruadhan was gone.
I took a seat on the sofa, and Gabriel placed Iris in my lap. There was much to do, but before I started, there was someone I needed to speak with. “I’ll read to her. In the meantime, could you fetch Phelan for me?” I asked Gabriel. “He and I need to talk.”
I glanced down at the book. The cover image was of a rainbow arcing over animals, and I read the title. “Noah’s Ark.”
Eagerly, Iris ran her tiny fingers between the pages as she shouted, “Ankaroo!”
“She means ‘kangaroo,’” Iona translated. “Cup of tea?” she asked tentatively, and even though I had no desire to drink one, there was nothing I wanted more.
“Please,” I said, thinking of Ruadhan.
* * *
“… THE RAINBOW WILL REMIND YOU,” I said, finishing the story for the third time, and then, finally happy, Iris sat and began to play.
“I wonder what’s taking so long,” I said.
“Sunday mass will be finishing about now,” Iona said. “Phelan will be at the church.”
Iris made clip-clop noises as she bounced a pony in the air, and the very fact that she was still here in Lucan, at the heart of the danger despite my warnings, filled me with contempt. “Iona, I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she repeated.
“Yes. And when I return, the very worst of Hell will be unleashed right here on your doorstep. There will be no escaping it. You need to make certain Claire gets Iris to the sea.”
Iona fiddled with a button on her cardigan, but then, stroking Iris’s auburn hair, said, “Aye.”
I heard Gabriel’s and Phelan’s footsteps before the door of the motor home swung open.
Iona picked up Iris and headed for the door. “I’ll take her back to Claire.”
Though Phelan had guards patrolling the grounds, Gabriel glanced between Iona and me, conflicted. “Go with her,” I encouraged.
He nodded and then escorted them outside.
Phelan took one look at my face and said, “Neat trick.”
Taking a packet of Golden Leaf from his back pocket, he slid out a pre-rolled cigarette and lit up.
“Ruadhan is dead,” I said flatly.
“Aye.” He tugged on his roll-up. “Sounds as though you’re suffering.” His tone was devoid of sympathy. It was as though he was seeking confirmation so that he could go ahead and tick suffering off my application for his vacancy of “Savior.”
“You told me Cameron was dead.”
“Aye. What’s that got to do with the price of milk?”
“He killed Ruadhan.”
Phelan’s reply was immediate. “Not possible. Cameron was killed by that demon. I saw it myself.”
I studied Phelan’s aura, and still his form had a subtle golden hue framing his body. Nothing about his physical reaction to my accusation suggested he was lying.
“You may have thought that’s what you saw, but you were wrong. He wasn’t killed. They changed him.”
“Changed him how?” Phelan shot back.
“They turned him into a Vampire.”
Phelan scratched the back of his head with irritation. “Not gonna have this argument with you again, Lailah. Demons were never human.”
“I’m telling you that you are wrong.”
Phelan blew smoke from his nose, shaking his head as though I were a broken record. He and I now shared something in common that we hadn’t this morning. After Emit had presented himself to me, no longer would I question whether there was a force out there greater than what we knew. Now, we both believed in God, even if we called him by a different name. Where we differed was that Phelan had a religion, one that was ignorant to the truth of things, and one that would put him and his men at risk. And no matter how many times I tried to tell him that his teachings were wrong, he wouldn’t hear me. He was going to have to see it for himself. Fergal said the Lord had a purpose for him, and maybe he was right: His purpose would be to prove my point.
“Come with me,” I said.
Time to set Phelan straight.
We made our way over to Little Blue, and though I expected that I would have to force Fergal to reveal himself to his cousin, once again I was surprised. He was in the living area when we walked in.
“Fergal,” I said.
Phelan glanced at me, his brow rising.
Fergal stood up from th
e chair, threw down his cards, and removed his beanie. Ruffling his white-blond hair, he turned to us. “Lailah.”
I almost tripped over myself.
No, it couldn’t be …
Fergal was standing before me, human.
“What?” I said. “You’re—”
“Alive?” he said. “I know. I got back a few days ago. It’s good to see you.” He smiled.
“What did you want to show me then?” Phelan pushed, searching the small space as if he were missing something.
For a split second I doubted myself.
I doubted the destruction I had caused in the garden. I doubted the meeting with Emit. I doubted all the things that had come before it.
Perhaps I was going mad.
The snap of a can of pop being opened caught my attention. I stormed past Fergal, who was subtly wiping beads of sweat off his forehead. Behind the curtain, Brooke hovered tentatively, a cold can of diet soda clutched in her right hand and a bag of chips in her left. If I didn’t know better, it would seem as though she and Fergal were playing a game of cards, and she’d gone up front to fetch snacks.
Everything about Brooke was off. Her red hair was messily pinned back, she was wearing her designer shades inside, and as I took a fresh breath, I realized that she smelled different.
“Brooke?” She bowed her head, and I whispered, “You’re human.”
“Shhh,” she snapped, lunging forward. Clumsily she fell into my shoulder, and I moved to steady her.
“What’s going on?” I demanded.
The door creaked and Jonah said Phelan’s and Fergal’s names as he entered. Maybe he would offer me a more straightforward answer to what had happened while I had been unconscious.
Jonah was pulling down his hood and straightening his leather jacket when I returned to the living area.
“Lailah,” he said, surprised, as if he hadn’t been able to tell I was in the next room. And then I realized why.
It was as though the world had stopped spinning again.
But this time, it was just me that was out of kilter.
Lost for words, I stumbled outside. Phelan and Jonah followed.
“You gonna explain what it is you think I need to see?” Phelan demanded.
It was not Phelan’s faith in God that was misplaced; it was his belief in a man-made religion. My plan had backfired. Phelan’s ideology would have been destroyed if he had seen Fergal as a Vampire; instead, Fergal was safe, well, and still human. He was a miracle. If the Lord, if Emit, had a purpose for Fergal as Fergal had insisted, evidently it was to reinforce Phelan’s belief.
With my back to both of them, I first heard the jangle of Iona’s bracelet before seeing her and Gabriel approaching. Though they were thirty feet away, I detected the tension in Gabriel’s body.
I shifted in place and answered Phelan. “Nothing. I must have gotten the wrong end of the stick.” There was no point in trying to convince him that the last time I had seen his cousin, he had been a demon. He simply wouldn’t believe me. And I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Phelan was not meant to know.
Gabriel’s eyes met mine as he and Iona approached, and seeing the Winnebago door ajar, Iona bounced happily to my side. “Oh! You know!” She beamed. “The good Lord has delivered Fergal back to us!”
I moved so that Gabriel, Iona, Phelan, Jonah, and I were positioned in a disjointed circle, and I scrutinized each of their expressions, trying to assess who knew what.
Gabriel came forward first. “Brooke thought Fergal had passed. She was mistaken.” Gabriel shot me a knowing look, one that told me that what he was saying was for Phelan’s and Iona’s benefit. Clearly Gabriel had manufactured a story, and based on both Phelan’s and Iona’s reactions, it was one they believed.
“He lost his memory, didn’t know who he was even, but then one morning he woke up and he remembered!” Iona exclaimed.
There was a slight twitch in Phelan’s steadfast stare, and I knew him well enough to know that it would be in his nature to be highly suspicious of such a story, but it tied in nicely with their scriptures, so at least on the face of things, he was choosing to accept it. Though I wondered how much, and how far he would question it internally.
“I’m so glad you had a chance to see him again before you left,” Iona added. Her skin glowed.
“Before you left?” Gabriel repeated, before anyone else had the chance.
I cleared my throat in an attempt to compose myself. “Yes. And when I come back, that will be the day Zherneboh will unleash Pandora’s box.” I tucked my hair behind my right ear, carefully considering how best to phrase my instructions. “I intend to bring Orifiel back with me, and when I do, Zherneboh, his Purebloods, and the strongest of his armies will be waiting.” Directing myself to Phelan, I continued, “This may be the only opportunity we have where the Devil and his servants will all be gathered in the same place at the same time. It’s the best—maybe the only—chance we have of eradicating them from this world. Do you understand?”
Phelan lit another cigarette; he did his best thinking when he smoked. “When?”
“I’ll leave tomorrow, just after sunrise.” I would need to refuel, and so tonight I would drink blood, and tomorrow I would meet with the sun before entering the first dimension. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.” And I didn’t. The first dimension, like the third, traveled at a slower speed than Earth. An hour there was around a year here. I would have to get in and out as quickly as possible. “If you insist on being part of this fight, then aim your weapons at the Second Generation Vampires. Keep clear of the demons like the one you saw in Henley. I’m the only one who stands a chance of defeating them.”
Jonah fidgeted uncomfortably where he stood.
“You’ll have help,” I added.
“What help?” Phelan took a drag on his smoke, the reek of burning paper offending my sense of smell.
“Speak with your caretaker,” I said to Phelan before turning to Gabriel. “Speak to Malachi. He is readying another force.”
The circle went quiet, and I could feel Gabriel’s impatience to speak with me alone, to fully understand what it was I was planning to do in Styclar-Plena. But it was Jonah who got to me first, taking me by the elbow. His breath tickled my neck as he leaned in and whispered, “Please—”
I nodded, and he followed me as I walked behind the Winnebago, stopping in a secluded spot nestled underneath a tall tree.
“How?” I asked finally.
I had never seen Jonah’s cheeks flush before, but they were flushing now. “I’m not sure.”
“Brooke? Fergal? And … and you? All three of you are human,” I said. “What about the rest?” Had something happened while I had been sleeping that had somehow caused every generation of Vampire to revert to their human self?
“It’s only us, near as I can tell. The kid farmers shot at a Vampire just this morning behind the graveyard.” Jonah rubbed his hands together, and I realized he was feeling the chill of the autumn day. I cupped my hands around his, and bringing them to my lips, I blew into the center, warming him.
“All at once? One at a time? What?” I asked, trying to make sense of what I had once thought to be impossible.
“One by one. I only found out about Fergal after he’d changed back.”
My mind was spinning trying to put together the pieces. “The reason you were slower than me … the reason you tripped on the landing … the reason you were hurt that night we came back here…”
Jonah nodded slightly. “I felt different after we came out of the third. I started to change back, but it was a gradual process. I wasn’t sure what was happening. But after me, Brooke’s change was immediate. She had no warning. And then, Brooke said that Fergal transitioned back just as fast as she did.”
I became distracted as I watched the curve of Jonah’s lips; they were ever so slightly thinner than they had been before. I didn’t mean to stare, but I couldn’t help it. Jonah pushed his hand through hi
s dark messy hair in response, and I realized then that it was a nervous compulsion.
Without meaning to, I was recataloging Jonah’s every feature. He’d returned to the Jonah he was before the venom changed him—inside and out. His milky skin was almost tan, courtesy of the Floridian sun. He now had subtle laugh lines and a scar running over his chin. I recalled the story he’d told me on the journey back to Lucan of how he’d had to go to the hospital and get stitches after he’d collided with another player in a soccer match.
When I was through absorbing every detail of his flawless imperfection, I met his warm hazel eyes.
“I seem different to you now?” He brought his thumb near to my cheek, and one of the butterflies fluttered its wings, reminding me of what was woven into my skin. He stepped back as I grimaced. I didn’t realize at the time that he thought my expression was my answer to his question.
The reality of what this change meant hit me fast and hard.
He was human—flesh and blood.
He wasn’t trapped, alone in the darkness anymore.
He didn’t need me.
I was hollow. I knew then that despite myself I had allowed him to get under my skin, but now he had left. The things he’d said, the promises he’d made, no longer stood. I shouldn’t have let him in. I shouldn’t have indulged in the idea of him and I together for even a second, in some form of fictitious, fairy-tale future.
“I have to go.” I turned away.
He grabbed my arm. “What’s wrong?”
Snapping back, I looked him dead in the eye. “You. You’re what’s wrong. One night with you, and you changed things. Ruadhan told me death is only something to be feared when you have someone to live for. You made it your business to be that someone.”
Why? Why couldn’t he have listened to me and stayed away?
“You’ve made me weak when I need to be strong. You’ve made me want and wish for things that can never be. You said you never wanted me to regret anything about you, but I do. I regret everything,” I said, my voice strained. “Because of you, I am afraid.”
Jonah reached for my shaking arms, but now human, he couldn’t keep up with me when I sped away.
TWENTY-TWO