Cobweb pushed his fearful thoughts away. He could not dwell on them. The danger was immediate. He had been brought to Forever simply to be a hostling, to give Terzian sons. He had become a domestic leader in the house, but now he knew he had to become more than that. He had to remember who he was, how he had once been wild and warlike himself. So long ago. Too dim to remember. The woman in him had slipped one night into the chamber of the warrior and had slit his throat while he slept.
“This is not my job,” Cobweb said aloud. “Aghama, Thiede, help us. I cannot do this.”
He put his hands against his face, pressed hard. It seemed a strange, soothing atmosphere came into the room. The deafening crackle of energy from outside became muted.
“Do you hear me?” Cobweb said. “Thiede, are you there? Tell me what to do. Give me strength. Come back to us. I am not the har for this task.”
There was a moment's silence, and then a soft voice behind him said, “You are.”
Cobweb turned round so quickly, he stumbled. He did not really expect to see Thiede standing there, but neither did he expect to see the har who now came toward him from the darkness of the room: a tall har with white-gold hair.
“Cal...” Cobweb's initial reaction was to be flooded with a feeling of relief so intense he nearly lost his senses. Acting on impulse he threw himself against the har before him, gripping his clothes. “Don't vanish. Don't you dare vanish!”
“I am here,” Cal said. “I'm no illusion.”
“You heard me. You have come to help.”
“I have come to help,” Cal said gently. “Let me go. You've grabbed flesh as well as cloth.”
“How...?”
Cal shook his head. “Now is not the time to explain. It would take too long.”
Cobweb released his grip. “Ponclast's Varrs have escaped Gebaddon. They are attacking us. Swift is gone, with many of our forces. Seel is in Imbrilim. Azriel and Aleeme have been taken. The shield is foundering. Snake and I... we are... Do you know what I'm talking about?”
“I know you are under attack and that your defences are weakening. I know we can ensure the shield will hold for this night. That's all we must think about.”
Cobweb nodded silently, then said, “I don't know why, but I'm not surprised to see you.”
“We must start work,” Cal said.
“Come to my trance room,” Cobweb said. “Pell's brother is there. Not Terez. Dorado. He is called Snake now. He is powerful, but drained, as I am. We made the shield.”
“I know. Lead on. I am anything but drained.”
Cal didn't say anything more as Cobweb led him to the upper part of the house. It was hard to believe it could really be him, and not some supernatural manifestation. Too many questions and no time to ask them. Be thankful for what you are given. Take it and be glad.
By the time they reached the trance room, Yarrow and Bryony had already taken a number of the staff there and Tyson and Ferany were also present. The expression on Tyson's face when Cal came into the room would remain with Cobweb forever. It was comical, but in that situation there was no space for humour. Cobweb wondered whether this was difficult for Cal, whether he cared.
“We have unexpected aid,” he said lightly. “Most of you know Cal, or course.” He gestured toward Snake. “Cal, this is Pell's brother.”
“We have met,” Snake said in an enigmatic tone.
Cal merely inclined his head. “Well, let's get started. It might well be a long night.”
As the group composed themselves in a circle, Cobweb was amused by the way they arranged themselves, how Snake and Tyson chose places far from Cal's hands and how Ferany made a point of sitting next to him. Cobweb sat on Cal's other side and the whole group joined hands. Cobweb led them into a trance state, all the while conscious of the familiar yet strange energy that coursed into him through Cal's warm dry hands. It was as if he had left Forever only yesterday. For a while, secretly, Cobweb had believed Cal could be a second Terzian for him. They had experienced an intense and complicated relationship while he'd lived in Galhea. Now, it was difficult not to remember those times. Cobweb was also aware he was doing little to guard his thoughts. If Cal picked up on them, he gave no sign, but then he was used to hara being in love with him. For Cal, it was a life hazard. His devotees in Forever formed an exclusive club, but few of them had any idea Cobweb was part of it.
One of many, Cobweb thought, and because he did not like to be such a thing, he curbed his fond recollections. His companions were ready to project their energy toward the shield. That was the only consideration.
Cal's presence was like an amplifier. Cobweb was sure that none present found it difficult to project their intention with power and authority. Cal's strength filled them all. He had been changed, but by what or who? Where had he been all this time?
In his mind, Cobweb visualised the energy dome around Galhea becoming hard as steel, hard as diamond. Whatever struck it would be sent back to whoever hurled it in their direction. Take it back, Cobweb thought, and be aware we will fight you with equal strength.
An hour or so before dawn, the attack subsided. Cobweb sensed this and picked up a brief mind touch from Snake. End it now. Cobweb's low voice called to his companions, bringing them back to normal consciousness. Their work was over. Far from being exhausted the group felt strangely exhilarated. They all commented on it. Those with little experience were overwhelmed by what they had achieved. The atmosphere in the room was one of celebration and triumph.
Yarrow was the first on his feet. “Breakfast,” he said, and gestured at some of his staff. “We all need a good meal.”
“We'll be down shortly,” Cobweb said. “Thank you, all of you, for being here. Galhea has much to thank you for.”
“What would have happened if the shield had been breached?” Bryony asked. Now it was safe, she obviously felt comfortable asking the question.
“I don't know,” Cobweb answered, “but can only imagine it would have been something like what happened at Amber Ridge. Unseen assailants?” He shrugged. “It doesn't matter. We held them off.” He paused. “Now we have family business to deal with. I'll see you all later.”
The staff filed from the room quickly, and Snake also got to his feet. Cobweb was concerned because of all of them, he seemed the most unsteady. “You don't have to go,” he said.
“I would prefer to,” Snake answered.
Tension came into the atmosphere. Cobweb let him go, leaving only Tyson, Ferany, Cal and himself behind.
“Do you want me to go also?” Ferany asked.
Tyson shrugged as if he didn't care either way. He was staring at Cal. “Did you come to me last year? I thought I saw you.”
“I was thinking of you,” Cal said carefully. It was clear he had no idea how to relate to Tyson. Perhaps this was because of all the hara in the world, Tyson was the only one that Cal couldn't use arunic wiles on. “It's like looking in a mirror. I'd know you anywhere,” he said. “You've turned out well.”
Cobweb winced inside.
“I have spent my whole life so far convincing hara I'm not you,” Tyson said, but he didn't sound bitter. “Looking at you now I wonder why I bothered.”
Cal laughed. “It amuses me to think of Seel having to see you every day. I'm grateful to you for that. I have remembered many things.”
“Like what?” Tyson asked.
Cal shook his head. “Details. Not important. Well, now we have met again and I'm relieved to discover you're not some screwed-up ball of resentment ready to go for my throat. Pellaz bullied me about us meeting, you know, and frankly I was terrified by it. I'm quite aware I'm not exactly a model parent.”
“I never resented you leaving me,” Tyson said. “That's the truth. I'm too like you not to understand.”
“Does Pell know you're back?” Cobweb asked quickly before Cal could respond.
“No, not yet,” Cal said and there was a guardedness in his tone that made Cobweb uneasy.
“Whe
n...?”
“I don't know,” Cal interjected. He glanced at Tyson and Ferany, then clearly came to the decision he felt comfortable speaking plainly in front of them. “I don't know whether I will return to Immanion.”
“Oh,” Cobweb said. “I see.”
“I hope you do. Some would call it healing. I've learned to be realistic.”
Ferany spoke up in a cool voice. “All of Wraeththu will be disappointed. Your love for Pellaz is... was... legendary. Your reunion was supposed to be the happy ending.”
Cal grimaced. “I prefer to be something other than a legend. My home is in Galhea. It always has been, since the day I first came here.”
Cobweb was astounded by these remarks and not altogether pleased. Pellaz was, after all, one of his best friends. “What happened to make you change your mind?” he asked coldly.
“You just walked out on him, didn't you?” Tyson said, before Cal could answer. “You weren't spirited away, or kidnapped.”
It was obvious to Cobweb that Tyson was delighted about that. “Do you know what happened to Rue?” Cobweb asked.
“I heard,” Cal said. “I'm sorry for him, but essentially it was the best thing that could happen. What we did together was wrong.”
Cobweb gazed at Cal in shock for some moments. “Do we get to hear the full story?” he asked at last. “Where have you been?”
“Receiving an education,” Cal answered. “The one I should have had before I was sent to Immanion in the first place. If I'd had it then, things would have turned out very differently.”
“Would you have even gone there?” Tyson asked.
Cal fixed his son with a stare. “I really don't know,” he said. “Let's just say, if I had, my motives would have been different.”
“I don't believe this!” Cobweb snapped. “You are denying Pell completely? This isn't you, Cal. I don't believe it.”
“I deny nothing,” Cal said, “but hara change. I was deluded. Even Rue told me that. The Pellaz I was obsessed with is long dead.”
“You've been indoctrinated,” Cobweb said. “You must have been. Who put these things in your head?”
“Orien did,” Cal said laconically. “Or rather the memory of him. Shall we leave it there? There are more important things to discuss than my obsessive past. Pellaz doesn't need me at the moment, Cobweb. Leave idealistic romance out of it. We have important issues to address.”
“Excuse me,” Cobweb said, “but in this matter I am obsessive myself. I won't let you duck out of it. We're family, Cal. For the Ag's sake, what the hell has gone on?”
“I have been with Thiede,” Cal said.
“What?” Cobweb drew in his breath. “He's not dead, then, as Pell wasn't dead. I see. Who is dead? Will Terzian show up again? Will Gahrazel?” He laughed coldly. “Maybe you could bring Orien back, while you're at it. This is insane.”
“Thiede is Aghama,” Cal said reasonably. “You know this.”
“Oh,” Cobweb said. “I get it. You've been with a god. Makes sense. Only you could do that.”
“Why are you so angry?”
“Angry?” Cobweb couldn't even respond. “We should eat. We're all hungry.”
He began to leave the room and noticed Tyson pat his hostling's shoulder. Cal reached for his son's hand, squeezed it briefly. Allies instantly. Typical.
Snake didn't come down to the dining room, so Cobweb asked Bryony to take him a tray. Later, he would visit Snake, who was sleeping in one of the guest rooms. For now, he still wanted to get the truth from Cal. It was disorientating to be sitting at the dining table with him, where he placed himself in the very seat where once he had stabbed Terzian right through the hand. Cobweb swallowed bitter saliva. He remembered how he'd felt then, so jealous and frightened. He remembered Terzian's desire for Cal, which had been so strong it had filled any room they were in together like smoke. He wanted Cal to be the same as he had been back then, the wild creature, whose madness was barely contained: the angel of vengeance doomed to a desperate love that was almost sacred. He didn't approve of this new, contained and very obviously sane and sorted Cal. It diminished him, made him too safe.
There were only four of them seated at the big table. Cobweb felt all the absences deeply.
“So this is your chesnari,” Cal said to Tyson, smiling at Ferany. “You are fortunate.”
Ferany had already been reduced to a shuddering mass of quivering eyelashes and coquettish glances. Cobweb groaned inside. He was also curious as to how Tyson would answer.
“We've been together for a while,” Tyson said, applying himself with rather too much concentration to the food on the table.
“He hates the word chesna,” Ferany said. “He thinks it makes him sound too ordinary and boring. That's your influence, I expect.”
Cal laughed. “Probably. For that I apologise. But I hope that, despite his lack of commitment, the experience is worth it.”
“Oh, yes,” Ferany said, “he gets that from you too.”
“So,” Cobweb interrupted firmly. “About your story, Cal. Will you tell us now?”
Cal was crumbling a bread roll onto his plate. “Some of it,” he said. “I can't tell you everything, Cobweb, not yet.”
“The smallest particle would relieve me greatly.”
Cal drew in a deep breath. “OK. I didn't leave Pell voluntarily, not exactly. I had to leave, because there was something I had to do, that only I can do. It's my work now and I can't speak of it entirely. Shall we say it's classified, but it's to do with what's happened in Gebaddon and what is now happening in Fulminir?”
“How did you find out about this vocation?”
“Somehar came to me. I met him in Immanion and he convinced me.”
“Who?”
Cal shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry...”
“Thiede?”
“No. An agent of...” He sighed. “This is very difficult. I can only say an agent of individuals who have Wraeththu's well-being at heart.”
“Conspiracy, how lovely,” Cobweb said mordantly.
“This is important to me,” Cal said. “I have purpose now, and direction. I've never had that.”
“So what will you do next?”
Cal gazed at Cobweb for a few moments. “I think we should discuss what you should do next.”
“You have plans for me? How sweet.”
“You must take your hara and the human community from Galhea, Cobweb. You must take them to a safe place. They are not safe here.”
“We can protect ourselves. We did so last night.”
“That was nothing. That was Ponclast testing the waters. He has allies you cannot imagine. He will go to them now and next time he attacks, you won't be able to hold him off so easily, not even with my aid.”
“It's impossible to move an entire community. It would take months of planning.”
“Then you'd better begin today. You don't have months.”
“Ithiel is in charge in Swift's absence. You must speak to him of this matter. I would be interested to hear his opinion.”
“I will speak to him today. It's imperative that Galhea is evacuated. It is perhaps the only way to preserve it.”
Cobweb shuddered, remembering his dream of Forever in flames. In his heart, he sensed that Cal spoke the truth. “How do you know this?” he asked.
“If you knew who Ponclast's allies were, you'd know it yourself.”
“Well, I don't, do I?” Cobweb said. “Because you won't tell me.”
“I hope you never know,” Cal said. “Trust me. I said I was here to help and I am. This is the best advice I can give you. Ponclast wishes to destroy the House of Parasiel. He burns with hatred for Swift and by default for all those who honour him.”
“I can't leave here without Swift,” Cobweb said. “We don't know if he's safe.”
“He is safe,” Cal said. “You will receive news very soon.”
“What happened at Amber Ridge?” Tyson asked. “Do you know?”
Cal
nodded. “A little. They were attacked again, after Swift's forces arrived there. As far as I know, he held them off, but didn't manage to take any prisoners.”
“How do you know this?” Cobweb asked.
Cal smiled. “Colleagues keep me informed.”
Cobweb uttered a derisive snort. “I hate this. It's so stupid. Just tell us the truth, Cal! What could possibly be so dangerous in being honest?”
The Shades of Time and Memory Page 31