by Gait, Paul;
‘I didn’t know you could speak Afghan…but I thought it sounded very sexy like in that film.’
‘What film?’
‘That film ‘A Fish called Wanda. You know, when John Cleese spoke Russian to Jamie Lee Curtis. It turned her on big time. Say something to me now.’
‘I don’t speak Russian.’
‘No in Afghanese, or whatever they speak.’
‘There’s nearly 50 languages spoken in Afghanistan.’
‘Yeah, but what language were you speaking?’
‘Pashto.’
‘Bless you.’
‘This isn’t an effing film you know. This isn’t make believe. This is real.’ Carrie said, angrily.
‘Sorry,’ Tim grovelled.
‘That helicopter trip to Nice airport was the trigger I think. That’s what started it off. Ah used to love helicopters too.’
‘I wasn’t going to tell you this, but you had an episode at Geoffery’s funeral.’
‘What sort?’
‘A Chinook flew over and you ended up kneeling on the ground. I thought you were messing around.’
‘You never said anything before.’
‘No. It’s because Andy suggested not to. He got your condition sussed right away though.’
‘If it was a Chinook…it reminded me of being rescued…Oh, it’s such a reassuring noise when it’s coming in to rescue you. The heavy beat of the double rotors is very calming. It’s like there’s no panic, you know?’
‘Even though you’re under fire?’
‘Yeah. It sounds like I automatically went into a protective stance…like we were trained to…to protect the helicopter in case there were insurgents waiting to ambush it.’
‘Perhaps all we need to do is to keep you away from the sound of helicopters then.’ Tim said, flippantly.
‘If only it was that simple.’
‘How’s your head, where I hit you?’
‘Sore,’ she said, gingerly touching the abrasion on the side of her forehead.
‘I’ve never seen you like this, in all the time we’ve been together. What’s that about six months?’
‘Ah haven’t had an attack like this for over twelve months. Oh Tim Ah’m sorry I hurt you.’
‘I hope it goes away again.’
‘The Doctor’s tell me it will always be there, but the flashbacks should lose their intensity – eventually.’
‘I’ll help you,’ Tim said, kissing her gently, ‘I’ll help you,’ unsure if he had the moral strength, to actually live up to his promise.
CHAPTER FIFTY SIX
25th January
Andy came home from his night shift and opened the door quietly to be confronted by Helen who was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, bleary eyed.
‘A courier brought this for you, just after you’d gone last night,’ Helen said, coldly thrusting an A4 envelope at him.
‘What is it?’
‘How should I know? Perhaps it’s from that tart Nadine.’
‘Why should she…?’
‘You tell me, you’ve obviously got something going with her.’
‘No I haven’t. Now stop this. There is nothing going on.’
‘Oh no! Then what about the present she gave you?’
‘Present, what present?’ Andy said, tiredly.
‘You damn well know what present,’ Helen shrieked.
‘Look, I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I’m sorry but I haven’t had any sleep for the last thirty six hours and I’m…’
Helen plunged her hand into Andy’s coat pocket still hanging where he’d left it and pulled out the small gift box.
‘This present,’ she said, angrily throwing it at him. ‘Now do you remember? You…you hateful bastard.’
‘Oh that!’ Andy’s stomach knotted as he looked at the box, which now lay at his feet.
‘How could you Andy, how could you?’ she cried.
‘I can explain…I haven’t done anything…we…no it’s not like that…’Andy struggled to vocalise his thoughts. Surely this would be the ideal time to come clean and confess about the bedroom incident.
‘I trusted you Andy and you do this to me, to us…do you know what you’ve done to our lives?’ she sobbed.
Andy walked towards her to comfort her.
‘Don’t. Don’t touch me,’ she screeched and ran upstairs sobbing.
Andy desperately wanted to go after her. Instead he watched her disappear into their bedroom and slam the door.
‘Jesus, what a mess,’ he said, shaking his head, annoyed that he’d forgotten Nadine’s gift. Furthermore for being stupid enough to leave it where Helen could find it.
He looked at the envelope in his hand and spotted the Monaco Couriers name.
‘This is all your fault Geoffery Foster. I had a happy life until you came along. SOD YOU.’
Andy threw the envelope on to the little oak table in the hallway and went upstairs and showered.
Desperately tired, all he really wanted to do was go to bed. However he didn’t want to further upset Helen, who was still in their bedroom. Instead he went downstairs and made himself a cup of tea and a piece of toast, then opened the envelope.
Attached to the letter was a compliments slip from the firm of Lawyers whose offices they had just visited.
‘What a waste of money. Why didn’t they just give me the envelope while I was there?’ he muttered.
Attached to the compliments slip was a letter from Geoffery. Andy recognised his barely legible spidery handwriting.
Dorothy & Tom Hospice
Hampton Leck
December
Dear Andy,
The reason that you’re reading this letter is because I’ve ‘kicked the bucket.’
Before I get into the detail concerning the instructions documented here, I’d like to record my thanks to you, for all your help over and above the ‘call of duty’.
I knew I had made a wise choice recruiting you to help me sort out my Godsons. Apologies if your involvement has caused you any problems.
‘Too right you have. That Nadine has become a bleeding millstone,’ Andy said, to himself.
‘You will have been told by now that I have given you the responsibility of releasing my legacy to my Godsons.
I’m sure you’ll want to know why. The reason that I didn’t just give them the money, is that I believe it wouldn’t be in their long term interests. As you’ve seen, they are an interesting group of individuals, each with a significant amount of ‘baggage’ and by their nature, I feel that just giving them the money was not the best course of action.
For instance James would probably go back to his old lifestyle and blow it on parties, gambling and alcohol. He would probably be dead within six months.
Tim, unused to having a large bank account, would probably gamble it away and continue his self-centred life.
Rupert would probably lose it all to that bitch of a wife in a divorce settlement.
So you can see my dilemma. That’s why I want you to manage what they do, before you authorise the release of the money to them individually.
I suggest that you release the money in several stages. Clearly they will need some start-up money in order to ‘explore’ what they can do to create something worthwhile and long lasting from their legacy.
You will recall my analogy to the Wizard of Oz characters. I feel quite pleased with the thought. The similarities between their individual characteristics, I believe, are quite striking.
Tim, no heart, is a selfish individual who doesn’t put anyone else’s feelings into his ‘me’ focussed life.
James, no brain, is actually a very bright person, but the booze has robbed him of his self-respect and ‘killed off’ his intellect. You might find him someone that you can use during this exercise.
Rupert, no courage. He has been subjugated by that bully of a wife but needs to have the confidence to stand his ground.
So on to your overriding criteria to releasing the money:-
Whatever they decide, it has to satisfy you, that they are planning to do something worthwhile and address those failings I have identified above.
I suggest you meet them individually in a few weeks’ time, having already alerted them to what you will be telling them what you’re looking for (I would have done this by prepared letter but unfortunately I know by my energy levels, time is running out).
However, I have produced other stage letters to assist you as best I can. You will receive these in response to your letters of progress to my Lawyers in Monaco.
I hope this additional involvement doesn’t cause you any family problems and that the extension of the contract will provide you with an adequate reimbursement for your troubles.
Geoffery.
‘Adequate reimbursement. Ha!’ Andy said, cynically. ‘My marriage is on the rocks because of you,’ he ranted. ‘I wish I’d never got involved. Now I understand the hospice rule of not getting personally involved with patients.
What the hell am I going to do to reassure Helen about Nadine? Oh God, what if Sue publishes that video? Then that’s it. Marriage over, kids with no father, pilloried in the press. Oh hell. What a mess!’
Andy gave in to his tiredness and curled up on the settee, eventually drifting off to a disturbed sleep.
CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN
25th January
‘Oh, it’s you! Kay said, opening her front door. ‘Come in Tim. You don’t have to knock. You might have moved in with Carrie, but this is still your home.’
‘Can’t find my key.’
‘That’s more like you! What’s the matter, is Carrie OK?’
‘No not really. I left her sleeping. It’s her I’ve come to talk to you about.’
‘Well she’s made a bit of an exhibition of herself recently hasn’t she?’
‘Yes…and it got worse.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Look at this,’ Tim said, pulling the collar of his roll neck jumper down revealing a vivid three inch red line across his throat.
‘What’s that?’ Kay said, concerned, examining the mark. ‘Did you cut yourself shaving?’
‘No…she…she had an episode in bed last night.’
‘Episode! What sort of episode?’
‘She…she tried to kill me.’
‘Oh my God. Tried to kill you?’ Kay said, in disbelief, putting her hand to her mouth.
‘She thought she was killing an insurgent,’ Tim continued.
‘An insurgent! What do you mean?’
‘Yes, she thought she was back in the army, fighting the Taliban.’
‘Taliban! Oh Tim, what did you do?’
‘I hit her, Tim said, uncomfortably. ‘I had to hit her to get her to stop.’
‘You hit a woman?’ Kay said, shocked at his confession.
‘She was trying to kill me, for chrissake. She’s very strong.’
‘Oh, my god! Was she dreaming? Is she on drugs?’
‘No. It’s this mental problem. She called it PTSD.’
‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I’ve read a lot about it in the papers recently.’
‘I…can’t put up with her like this. I want to move back here. I’ll bring my stuff round later.’
‘You mean leave her?’
‘Yes.’
‘But surely she needs you?’
‘I couldn’t stand it. Waiting for her to have another session. It would be a nightmare.’
‘Do you love her son?’ Kay asked, earnestly.
‘Well…yes…I think so.’
‘Then help her… Don’t run away when she needs you. That bitch Nadine did that to Geoffery at his most vulnerable.’
‘But…I mean we’re not even…’Tim said, struggling to rationalise his thoughts.
‘I know you’re not married…but you must love her in the good and bad times; in sickness and in health.’
‘But she’s so…so irrational,’ Tim said, trying to justify his intentions.
‘She helped you sort yourself out, didn’t she?’
‘Yes, but that was different.’
‘How was it different? You were miserable and so full of yourself that you had become a nightmare to live with. Tim, the change in you has been phenomenal. She helped you do that.’
‘This is different though. This is a psychological problem. I can’t help her, I’m no effing Psychiatrist.’
‘No, but you can be her ‘rock’. Her tower of strength.
‘I’m not like that. You know me.’
‘Yes, but when you love someone you change. You have to give and take,’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘You have to compromise your own values, your personality to…to become an amalgam with the person you love,’ Kay explained, patiently.
‘Now you sound like a bleeding agony aunt. No chance,’ he said, standing up and walking to the window.
‘It’s time for you to grow up son and stop being so self-centred.’
‘I didn’t come round here to listen to this crap.’
‘Well it’s about time you did listen to something other than your own selfish voice.’ Kay added, angrily.
‘I’m going.’ Tim said, walking quickly to the door.
‘That’s right. Run away when there’s something you don’t want to hear.’
‘Well…’
‘Do you love her?’
‘I’ve already told you. Yes…yes I suppose so.’
‘Well, help her.’
‘It’s easy for you to say. But what do I do?’
‘Be there for her. Help her find some professional help. Love her.’ Kay said, sincerely.
‘You make it sound so easy. You should have been there last night. I was shit scared that she was going to kill me.’
Kay walked over to him and looked into his eyes, she saw his pain. ‘It must have been very frightening,’ she said, holding his hand.
‘She didn’t know what she was doing. That was the worst thing. I couldn’t get through to her.’ Tim explained.
‘Give her time and …’
‘Patience?’ Tim interrupted. ‘Well you know I haven’t got much of that.’
‘It will come, believe me. I’ve never told you this before, but when you were a baby you were a nightmare, always crying.
You really got to me. Drove me up the wall. I thought at one time I was going to suffocate you to stop your constant crying. But I had a great midwife. She was a tough old bird and she said you’ve got to toughen it out or you’ll end up in the ‘loony bin’.’
‘The what?’
‘Oh, it’s an old fashioned term for a mental hospital. Anyway, I used to put you at the bottom of the garden in your pram so I couldn’t hear you crying.
At first I kept coming to see, if you were OK. First every two minutes, then five, ten and so on. It took me some time but slowly I built up an emotional toughness. Being a Mother isn’t all a bed of roses, you know.’ Kay said, reflectively.
‘Come off it Mother. A crying baby isn’t the same as my problem. This lady was trained to be a professional assassin. She could have killed me while I slept.’
‘Perhaps not, but you have to adapt.’
‘Adapt?’
‘Like sleeping with half an ear open. Like I used to; to make sure you were still breathing in your cot.’
‘Hello! Earth to Mother, this is somebody trying to kill me,’ he said, patronisingly.
‘Well you’ll just have to sleep with your eyes open.’
‘Oh thanks. That’s a great help.’
‘Look, there’s bound to be lots of help out there for former soldiers. You shouldn’t have to cope with this alone.’
‘Such as?’ he asked, now irritated by her persistent rhetoric.
‘I read about one organisation called ‘Combat Stress’. Why don’t you call them?’
‘Combat what?’
‘Combat Stress. They have quite a good reputation dealing with service people, I gather
.’
‘Yeah. I hear what you say.’
‘Tim!’ Kay admonished, recognising his lack of intention.
‘Well I suppose it’s worth a try,’ he agreed, reluctantly.
‘At least it’s a start.’ Kay said, pleased that her persistence had finally paid off.
‘I’d better get back to her. But if you don’t see me again. You’ll know the gamble failed.’
‘Oh Tim, don’t be so melodramatic. Goodbye son. I’m sure it’ll be alright.’
As she closed the door, Kay felt uneasy, not convinced at all by her own assurances. ‘I hope you’ll be OK. Time will tell,’ she said, resignedly.
CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT
26th January
In spite of her bravado, Kay had been unnerved by Tim’s revelation about Carrie’s attack on him. The unprovoked nature of it and Tim’s concerns had given her a sleepless night.
She decided to telephone Andy and ask for his advice, for clearly he was knowledgeable about the condition, as he had helped out during Carrie’s episode at the funeral.
Helen answered the telephone after the third ring. ‘Hello.’
‘Hello, could I speak to Andy, please.’
Now suspicious of any woman calling him, Helen demanded, ‘who are you?’
‘Hello, Helen, I’m Tim’s Mum, Kay. We met at the funeral. I expect you know all about Tim. He’s the one Geoffery got climbing mountains with his girlfriend Carrie.’
‘He’s not here.’ Helen said, bluntly.
‘I wonder, if I could ask you, to get him to call me back?’
‘I don’t know where he is or when he is coming back.’ Helen announced, flatly.
‘Oh I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t mean to pry. But is there a problem?’
‘A problem? You’d probably know more about that that I.’
‘Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean,’ Kay said, puzzled.
‘Don’t you? Or are you just saying that to protect him.’
‘Protect him! Protect from what? Sorry, I’m obviously missing something,’
‘You were in Monaco, I gather. Then you know what he was up to.’
‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean. We went to Monaco for the reading of the will, that’s all.’
‘That’s not the whole truth though is it?’ Helen said, probing. ‘What about the evening and the night time?’