by Phil Hamman
Life is a journey consisting of many paths. Some we choose. Some are chosen for us. Sandra had Carroll and the boys to accompany her on this journey now, and they’d wisely chosen paths lined with blessings. Yet she continued to sense that something wicked lingered nearby, and this wickedness, whatever it was, repeatedly slithered back into her life when she least expected it. Even when it was silent she always knew it was there, just beyond the darkness of the tree line. The evil had never quite left her completely, though over the years she’d tried various ways to escape it and was now preparing to triumph over it.
The girl who had demonstrated resilience repeatedly showed her grit again more than four decades after the murders when she arranged what she would later describe as an event that felt like an encounter between good and evil. On a hot spring day, Sandra traveled to Iowa’s Fort Madison, a maximum security prison, for a face-to-face meeting with Allen Fryer, “the Boss.” David and James both refused her request for a meeting. She had prepared a list of questions, yet these weren’t the primary reason for the visit. That she would explain to Allen later in the day. Yet prior to the meeting, years of pent-up emotions surfaced into physical symptoms that nearly caused the trip to be cancelled. For days Sandra had been plagued with relentless nausea, fever, weakness, and insomnia. She collapsed from exhaustion just before embarking on the journey to the prison, but was able to remain strong enough to continue.
Sunlight glistened off the razor sharp rolls of concertina wire high atop the looming walls of the prison. Behind these walls live some of society’s most dangerous and violent inmates. And into this atmosphere rife with despondency, Sandra finally stood.
Clank! Slam! The sounds of incarceration echoed in the empty hallway from where she’d just come and which was now separated from the visitation room, where she stood by an industrial steel door. Beneath the bright glare of the fluorescent light with its faint hum, she stood trembling and overcome with emotion. In the brief moments before Allen entered the room Sandra silently prayed, God, please give me strength to proceed with what needs to be said. And then for the first time in days, her anxiety immediately slipped away, replaced by the glow of confidence.
Allen sat down wordlessly, his face drawn and hard from years of life on the inside; he was directly in front of her, and to her side stood a prison guard for her protection. Sandra started by thanking him for the meeting, since the brothers had rejected nearly all interview requests over the past four decades. Then she confronted him about shooting Roger, but he denied doing this and in fact denied shooting anyone. Undeterred, she reminded him she had been standing next to Mike when Allen shot him. Allen denied it and claimed it must have been one of his brothers. Realizing where this was headed, Sandra switched course and asked him what he would have done differently. He said he’d change nothing because his brothers had wanted to kill her, but he had saved her.
The room fell silent with only the din of fluorescent lights humming above.
“Why didn’t you kill me?”
He replied it was because she had reminded him of his stepdaughter who was about the same age. Then Sandra told him he had done the right thing by not killing her; she was able to go on and experience life. This had been her primary purpose for facing Allen. They shook hands. The meeting was over, and so was the confrontation Sandra had long anticipated. Later, she would tell people it felt as if a thousand pounds had been lifted off her. Outside the prison she noticed that even the colors seemed brighter, the grass greener, the sky bluer, and the sun felt warmer. Sandra had reached another goal in her healing process.
With a desire to know more about her Native bloodlines, Sandra also began learning the Lakota traditions from her cousin, who has been a spiritual leader for over thirty years. It was eventually decided that he’d perform a Wiping of the Tears ceremony at Gitchie Manitou, or “Great Spirit,” a sacred place to help Sandra move on even though she will never forget. Part of the Native way is to have a deep understanding before communing with nature, so Sandra began many preceremony preparations, including smudging with sage for positive feelings and to purify her surroundings. She had been told that during the ritual Roger, Mike, Stew, and Dana in the spirit world could witness this sacred event and be with her.
On the day of the healing, her cousin will wear his traditional dress, tie his long black braids with bits of cloth, and prepare the herbs—bear root, gum weed, sweet grass, and sage. A bearskin robe will be draped around Sandra’s shoulders. With Native tongues chanting song and prayer, wisps of gray-tinged smoke will rise to carry the words skyward. In a strong, steady voice this spiritual leader will perform the Wiping of the Tears ceremony. He’ll burn sage and place sacred tobacco at each spot where the boys’ bodies had lain. At the ceremony’s conclusion, Sandra’s soul will be refreshed and ready to move on. She believes that her Christian faith coexists in harmony with her Native spiritual beliefs. Both have been instrumental in her continued healing.
Through philosophical discussions with Carroll and others, watching television shows about religion, and reading passages from the Bible, Sandra began to view life in a new light. She realized that God does not allow horrible things to just happen. There is conflict between good and evil in the world and sometimes evil wins the battles, as it did at Gitchie Manitou so many years ago. But evil loses the war in the end as Christ, love, and goodness prevail. Forgiveness can be hard, but forgiveness can also be powerful. Marian Baade, mother of Dana and Stew, amazed her friends and family when she forgave the Fryer brothers for their horrendous actions, feeling that forgiveness was vital to her Christian beliefs. She passed away with peace in her heart.
On a warm spring morning Sandra and Carroll strolled through a park near their home. As they walked along holding hands, the sweet smell of lilacs drifted in the air, and robins hopped about searching for their morning breakfast. In the distance, the chiming of church bells brought a smile to Sandra’s face. God is not silent; He was calling to her again, and she was listening.
She continued to build her life around the love of God, family, and friends, and in the process discovered many paths to happiness. She moved on to become Sandra the wife. Sandra the mother. Sandra the grandmother. And Sandra the caregiver who rescues animals. She couldn’t change the past, so instead she’d changed her future. She was no longer “the Gitchie Girl.”
Rebuilding her life and surrounded by love. Sandra with husband, Carroll, sons Jacob (left) and Joshua (right), and dog Roscoe.
As twilight settles over Gitchie Manitou casting long shadows on the aged stones and the silver sky begins to fade to dusk, the park is silent except for the chatter of small animals or the rustle of leaves as a light wind sends them scattering across gravel. Deer foraging in the tall prairie grasses lift their heads at these soft sounds, then return to their evening meal. Beyond the remains of a stone campsite, shimmering water rolls along below a steep bank. This beautiful park is now a place of peace and solitude. It is also a place where the hopes and dreams of four teenagers remain for eternity. It is a place where a young girl lost her innocence and adolescent love. Yet, it is also a place where God gave that girl strength to know that the world can be good and the courage to go on to dream new dreams. Love sustains. And God prevailed to allow her to build a life surrounded by friends and a loving family, and this love will endure forever.
About the Authors
SANDY HAMMAN has been a teacher with the Sioux City Community School District in Iowa since 1994. She specializes in teaching writing and reading.
PHIL HAMMAN started teaching in the Sioux City School District in 1986. He co-teaches high school English. He has a personal connection to the story. Mike Hadrath was Phil’s best friend, and they were teammates in basketball and baseball.
Phil and Sandy have been married since 1984.
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