Could this get any more awkward? “I, um, need to ask you something.”
“Yeah?”
I wished I could see her eyes better. She wore those glasses that darken in the sun where you could kind of see the person’s eyes, but not well. Maybe it was better not to guess what she was thinking. “You want to keep going? I could walk with you. I don’t want to make you late.”
“I’m not in a hurry, just going home. But since it’s freaking hot, let’s walk.”
“Sure. Okay.”
We headed down the sidewalk, not speaking. Sounds of the party—laughter, splashes, music—echoed in the distance, and I felt hyper-aware of every noise I made. Every thump of my sneakers, every exhale, bounced around in my ears. I wanted to turn around and walk back to the Garzas’ house. Just say you forgot something, you have to go, and walk away.
“So?” Claire asked.
My mind went blank. “So yeah. How’s everything going?”
“That’s what you wanted to ask me?”
Score one for Claire being direct. “No. I, um … ” Just say it! “I overheard Amy say you give good advice. And I need some. Advice, that is.”
“About what?”
“A girl.” Did my voice have to actually squeak? I couldn’t get a break.
“Oh.”
She sounded surprised. What, did she think I didn’t like girls? Don’t go there, Gray. My phone vibrated in my pocket. Probably Berger texting back. I’d check it later. “I mean, you’re a girl, so I figured … ” She said nothing. No making this easy. “Maybe you could help.”
Claire stopped and let out a quiet laugh. “I guess.” She rubbed her temple. “Is this gonna be a long conversation? Because I’ve got a headache and—”
“No, no. We don’t need to talk now. I could, like—how about tomorrow?”
She tapped the bottle of water against her leg for a few seconds, then stopped. “Could you come over at eleven? I have to babysit in the afternoon.”
“Sure. Where do you live?”
She pointed at a two-story, sand-colored brick house diagonally across the street. “Right there.”
“Cool. Okay, see you then.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Claire crossed the street and headed up the front walk of her house. Was I really going to tell her how I felt about Lindsey? I kind of had to if I wanted her help. Maybe I could leave out the details, not tell her who it was I liked. But that was dumb. How could I pass up a chance to get advice from someone who knew Lindsey?
I couldn’t. This might be my only shot. But it still felt like a really, really bad idea.
Three
Claire
The next morning I felt a lot better. I’d had my afternoon of feeling sorry for myself and it was over. Time to move on. Yeah, I’d felt jealous of Rose’s new relationship, but I was over it. Sort of. I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I didn’t want her to be happy. I supposed I was mature enough to handle any changes that might come from Rose having a boyfriend.
The doorbell rang. I started to get up, but remembered Mom was down there with Jack. I went back to the novel I was reading.
But then her voice came ringing up the stairs. “Claire, you have company!”
Uh-oh. I jumped up. Grayson. Or Gray. Was it already eleven o’clock? I’d completely lost track of time. “Coming,” I yelled.
I yanked on a pair of shorts, brushed ginger cookie crumbs off my T-shirt, then went to the mirror to make sure there were none in my teeth. I tried to smooth down my hair, but I had serious bedhead, so I pulled it into a ponytail. I didn’t even have makeup on. But whatever. He was here for advice, not to take me out. That wasn’t even an option, anyway.
I jogged downstairs, figuring I shouldn’t leave him in my mother’s clutches any longer than necessary. She could get someone’s life history in about three minutes. I peeked around the kitchen doorway. Gray sat at the kitchen table next to Baby Jack in his highchair. My mom was putting the iced tea pitcher back in the fridge.
Gray wore basketball shorts, a Notre Dame T-shirt, and flip-flops. His dark blond sun-streaked hair poked out in different places. I’d never seen it like that. In fact, it hit me he was really tan. Normal, of course, for the summer, but I hadn’t realized he was such an outdoorsy guy.
“Yes,” Gray said, “my dad still works at Tyson, Clark & Stone. He made partner last year, so he’s really busy.”
“That must make him happy,” Mom said.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Hey,” I said, walking into the room, which for some strange reason smelled like bleach.
Gray gave me a quick smile. “Hey.”
My mom wiggled her eyebrows and grinned behind Gray’s back.
I ignored her. “I see you’ve met Baby Jack.” My nephew had Gray’s forefinger in his chubby fist and was pulling it toward his mouth.
“Yeah, we’re getting along great.”
Mom dropped a few Cheerios onto the highchair tray. “Be careful, he bites.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Gray said.
He pulled his hand away from Jack’s face, still letting the baby hang on to it, then shook it. Jack chortled. There’s no other word for it. The sound came straight from his belly.
“You want something to drink?” I asked.
He held up a glass. “Your mom already got me tea.”
“Okay.” Wow, Claire. How could you miss something right in front of you? My eye for detail was slipping. I could only chalk it up to the strangeness of having a teenage boy in our kitchen. I couldn’t remember that happening since Mimi had been in high school. And I hadn’t been a teenager then. But I was now. I took a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “We’ll be out in the sunroom.”
“All right,” Mom said, flashing me a silly grin.
Geez. He might’ve seen her. “This way,” I said, heading down the back hall.
After a few seconds, Gray’s snapping flip-flop steps halted. “Crazy. That tower was as big as you were.”
Oh, right. My LEGO tower photo. At least he’d already passed the framed baby pictures of me and my sister. But if I didn’t get him out of the hall, he might drift over to look at those too. I motioned to keep him walking. “Yeah, my parents had to buy an extra set of bricks so I could finish it.”
He strolled closer and the bleachy smell hit me again. “How old were you?” he asked.
“Five.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. I’ve always loved building stuff.” I led him into the sunroom, which at this time of day was filled with diffused light. It made the taupe couch and chairs with their turquoise throw pillows look cheerful, but relaxing at the same time. Besides my bedroom, it was my favorite room in the house.
“A sunroom, huh?” Gray asked. “There are a lot of trees blocking the light.”
“Just on the left. I like the extra shade. My dad wanted to call it a solarium, but Mom and I outvoted him.” We sat at opposite ends of the couch. “Why do you smell like bleach?”
“Oh.” He sniffed his forearm. “Sorry, it’s chlorine. I just picked up my little brothers from a swim team party and got knocked into the pool by a six-year-old.”
I couldn’t keep from laughing. “You’re kidding.”
“No. And I didn’t have time to shower. Thankfully I’d just handed my phone to my brother Travis, so it was saved.”
“How many brothers do you have?”
“Two. You have an older sister, don’t you?”
“Yeah, Mimi. Baby Jack is hers.”
“O-oh.” Here came the long awkward pause. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird, I just—”
“It’s okay.” I pushed my glasses back up my nose. “Everyone thinks the worst because she’s only twenty-one. But she got married and had Jack a year later. We’re helping with the baby because she just got a job so her husband can go back to school.”
“How old is he?”
Why would Gray want to know that? “T
wenty-two.”
He laughed. “No, the baby.”
“Fifteen months.”
We fell silent. I stared out at the orange toddler slide and other toys littering the backyard. If there was one thing I’d learned from my therapist dad, it was that waiting for a person to speak will sometimes make him say what’s important. But I hadn’t calculated on Gray’s ability not to talk. The air conditioner cycled off, making the silence deafening. Was I about to hear crickets?
I couldn’t take it anymore. “So anyway … a girl?” I hadn’t realized how comfortable Gray had seemed while just talking about our families until I said those words.
A muscle bulged in his cheek like he was clenching his jaw. He set his drink on the end table, then dug something out of his shorts’ pocket, but kept it hidden in his fist. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking about this last night and I need toknowifIcantrustyou.”
The last words rushed together. I’m usually good at parsing, but not that time. “What?”
He stared at the floor. “I need to know if I can trust you.”
That got my back up. “If I remember right, you came to me.”
“I know. I want to trust you.” He finally made eye contact. “But I also don’t want to read everything I’m about to tell you on the Internet.”
Pain filled his eyes and my irritation fell away. This guy must have it bad for somebody. It made it easier to soften my voice. “Do I look like someone who posts private stuff?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s completely up to you.”
“I know, but—”
I held up my first three fingers, making the Girl Scout sign. “How’s this? On my honor as a former Girl Scout, I won’t tell anyone what you’re about to tell me. Unless you’ve done something illegal.”
Gray opened his fist to reveal a tiny black car. No, make that a Jeep. What was he doing with a toy? He turned it over and over in his hand. “So you’re a Girl Scout narc?”
“I used to be.”
“But you remember all your vows.”
I involuntarily squeezed my water bottle, making that crackly noise. He knew about my no-dating vow? He couldn’t. There’s no way. Calm down, Claire, he’s still talking Girl Scouts. I sipped my drink to stall for time. No need to sound like I was freaking out. “Just the vows concerning trust issues.”
“Okay, okay. I get it.”
“So?”
He let out a loud breath. “So I really, really like Lindsey Taylor.”
Oh, no. “Lindsey Taylor. My extremely popular friend Lindsey.”
“Yeah.”
He looked so dejected I wanted to hug him. I wouldn’t, of course. But the poor guy. I loved Lindsey and everything, but I didn’t think she truly realized what her hangers-on were thinking. She was always nice to them, probably because she loved an audience. But it just encouraged them to hang around longer.
I sipped more water. Stalling, stalling. What could I say?
The door opened and my mom came in holding Jack. “Excuse me,” she said. “Can you watch him for a few minutes? I have some things I need to get done.”
With that, she placed the baby in my lap and left. I didn’t know if she was curious about what we were doing—although the door was glass so she could’ve just peeked—or if she truly needed help. I stared at her figure heading down the hall. “Um, yes?”
“Yessss,” Jack said.
Gray chuckled as though he didn’t know what else to do. Neither did I, but I could sympathize with him. “How long have you liked Lindsey?”
“About a year.”
“Ouch. Have you talked to her about it?”
“Are you crazy?”
“My dad thinks so. And he’s a therapist.” I turned Jack around and kissed his soft cheek. He grabbed the end of my ponytail and tugged. “That hurts, you sweet monster.”
Gray hauled himself up and went to look outside. He placed the toy car on the picture window and drew it down against the glass, then lifted it, holding the back wheels with his thumb and middle finger. It spun. Huh. Must be a pull-back-and-go car. His movements looked practiced, like he played with the car all the time without thinking. “I feel like a complete idiot.”
Okay, time to be brutally honest. It wasn’t fair to give him false hope. “I know. It seems impossible with all the guys around her, but you can’t stop thinking about her because she’s so pretty and funny and sweet all rolled up into one neat package.”
“That’s kind of sarcastic.”
I gently pried my hair out of Jack’s fist. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be mean, but I’ve seen it all before. And you’ve got two choices—talk to her or forget her and move on.”
Gray flopped onto the couch, laid his head back, and draped an arm over his eyes. “That’s what Berger said.”
“Trey Berger?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh. I didn’t know he was so smart.” Jack squirmed to get down, so I stood him on the floor where he could hold on to the couch. He could walk, but sometimes he looked like he was doing a Captain Jack Sparrow impression.
Gray groaned. Jack sidled over and patted him on the knee. “Hey, buddy,” Gray whispered and ran his hand over the baby’s curly hair. The tiny car was nowhere in sight, which was good because the baby would’ve made a grab for it.
“Up, up, up,” Jack said.
Gray slid him onto his lap and sat back. “You think I have any kind of chance?”
Jack snatched up one of Gray’s hands and played with his fingers, so I took a minute to study him. With his blue eyes and prominent cheekbones, he was handsomer than some of the guys Lindsey had liked over the years, but she was happiest with a guy who had at least as strong a personality as she did. It didn’t look hopeful to me.
“That bad, huh?”
Warmth rushed into my cheeks. Nothing like getting caught staring. “No, no, I’m just thinking. The only way you have a chance is if you talk to her.”
“And I’ve done great with that so far.”
“The trick is to talk about things she’s interested in.”
“Yeah. I was kinda hoping you could help with that.”
“It’s really easy. Her favorite subjects are theater, acting, Broadway, and movies.”
“I don’t know much about theater, but movies I can do.”
“You still work at the Cineplex?”
Gray scooted down in his seat so Jack could lie against his chest. The baby closed his eyes. “Yeah, how’d you know?”
“I’ve seen you there.”
“Brainlessly sweeping up popcorn?” He ran his hand in circles on the baby’s back. “You wouldn’t want to talk to her for me, would you?”
“No way. I can give you suggestions, but I won’t be a go-between. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t figure you would.” He stared at the ceiling. “What I need is some kind of way to get an in with her so she can get to know me. It’s not as if I can ask her out. Not while she’s dating someone.”
She’ll always be dating someone. Better not say that, though. “Other boys have.”
He shook his head. “I’m not cool with that.”
So. He was a stand-up guy. Or he was too scared of what her reaction might be. I didn’t blame him.
“Hey,” he said, “what if sometime when y’all are going to hang out, you bring me with you? It’ll seem more normal and it won’t look like I’m only there to stare at Lindsey like the other guys do.”
“Except if you stare at her and don’t say anything.”
He sighed. “Yeah. So I’ve got that going for me.”
I laughed. Gray continued to rub Jack’s back. He must have held babies before. He looked too natural doing it. “How did you know to do that with Jack?” I asked.
“What?”
“Sink down so he could lie flatter.”
“Oh. He was leaning like he couldn’t hold his head up and his breathing had slowed down.”
“You n
oticed all that?”
“How could I miss it? He was on my lap.”
“Not just anybody would. You have experience with kids, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess. I’m ten years older than my youngest brother. I spent a lot of time holding him when he was a baby.”
“Huh. Cool.”
“So what do you think about letting me come with you when y’all hang out?”
I frowned. “I don’t know. Let me think about it, okay? I mean, that feels a lot like me being a go-between.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want. Just … thanks for listening. I really do feel stupid about this.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve met stupider people.” Oops. That was supposed to be a joke. I smiled in case he took it the wrong way.
But he wasn’t even looking at me. “I hope so,” he mumbled into Jack’s hair.
Four
Claire
After Gray left and my mom put Jack down for his nap, she caught me in the kitchen. “He’s cute,” she said.
“Don’t get excited. He’s just a friend.”
“He seemed pretty interested in talking to you.”
“Because he has a crush on Lindsey.”
“Oh. Too bad.”
“Mom. I haven’t changed my mind about not dating in high school.”
She was fighting a grin big time. “I know, sweetie. Keep me posted, though.”
“I will, but nothing’s going to change,” I said, heading for the stairs.
“We’ll see.”
I ignored that. I was pretty darn good at ignoring my mom’s teasing about my vow. “I need to hurry or I’ll be late to the Petersons’.”
***
Once the three Peterson kids had played in the pool and dried off enough to come in for a snack, I sat them down in front of the TV for a little SpongeBob time. Perfect chance for me to check in with the girls. We had plans to go to a movie that night, but I hadn’t heard from either of them about it. Time to text Rose.
Claire: What movie do you want to see?
No more than ten seconds later, my phone rang and a photo of Rose kissing her favorite coffee mug appeared on the screen. What was she doing calling me? She knew I only texted when I was babysitting. I went to the kitchen doorway to get away from SpongeBob’s giggle.
Life in the No-Dating Zone Page 2