“You two have been together for a long time, since high school as a matter of fact. What happened?”
“I don’t know… I guess we just grew apart. Charles became a wanna be uppity poser and I remained the same old Peaches.”
“Why did you stay with him so long?”
“It really wasn't that bad. I mean, the sex pulled a Houdini almost two years ago and now I know why. I guess I was too stupid or too proud to admit that he was just using me. Hell, a piece of a sorry ass man is better than no man at all. So, I stayed and spoiled him silly and prayed he wouldn’t leave me. Delusional, I pretended that he loved me as much as I loved him. I can't believe that I was so fuckin stupid.”
“Yeah, well love will make you do some stupid shit.” Rashawn chuckled.
“Oh yeah, what stupid shit has it made you do?” Peaches countered.
Rashawn laughed. “Other than asking you to my senior prom, not a damn thing!”
“So, what? You’re saying that you've never been in love?” She asked puzzled.
“Not really ... Apparently, love doesn't seem to love me.” He confessed.
“No, I don’t believe that. Apparently you have commitment issues!”
“Who me?” Rashawn asked stunned.
“Yeah, you!”
“Hey, I'd love to be in love. It's just never happened for me.”
“So what about the girl you're with now? Maybe she's the one.”
“I don’t know… It’s too soon to tell. We're just getting started.”
“Seems to me you're getting off to a bad start.” Peaches snickered.
“I’ll admit that things have been a little upside down lately. Nothing I can't handle though.” He nodded in agreement. “We’re having some issues, but she’ll come around.”
“So what's she like?” Peaches pried.
“Who?” Rashawn played dumb.
“Michelle Obama!” Peaches joked. “Stop playing stupid.”
“What do you mean? What’s she like? She’s a woman.”
“Yeah! I figured as much. Tell me about her. Is she pretty?”
“Why do women always ask that question? Does it really matter?”
“Yes! We ask the question because we want to know the answer. So just answer the question. Is she pretty?”
“Yeah, actually she's beautiful… Extremely beautiful in fact.” Peaches rolled her eyes. “I didn’t ask you all that. You didn’t have to elaborate. You could have just said yes or no.”
Rashawn stifled a chuckle as he realized that he had touched a jealous streak. “Sorry. Yes, she’s pretty. Pretty damn beautiful!” He burst into laughter.
Peaches swung at him and caught him with a hard right to the shoulder. “Keep playing with me!”
“What? What did I do?” He innocently asked.
“Is she skinny?” Peaches continued without acknowledging his question.
“What? Why you all up in my bizniz, Miss Peaches?” He joked.
“Never mind! You don't even have to say a word. I bet she's one of those two pound skinny bitches! She’s probably a white girl too!”
“No! See there you are wrong she’s a sista... And she's got to be at least four or five pounds! You know that I like a little something to grab on to.” Rashawn laughed as he ran out of reach from Peaches grasp. “Okay, I'll admit that she's pretty and yeah, she's pretty thin too. Hell she's even rich. So what? None of that shit translates into love!”
“She’s rich? Seriously? How the hell did you meet a rich girl? With your broke, no job ass!” Peaches laughed.
“What? Peaches, I'm not broke... I told you I’m just between contracts.”
“Yeah! Whatever!” Peaches laughed harder. “Report that report to your broke ass car and your run down townhouse.”
“You know what? I’m not even going to try to explain my situation to you. Anyway… I don't know... it just happened. And for your information I had a job when I met her! A damn good job! I keep trying to tell you that I’m not broke.”
“Yeah, whatever! That’s exactly what a broke ass nigga would say.” Peaches laughed.
“That’s okay… You’ll see one day. I’m not going to say another word about it. You're going to be surprised when my new contract comes through!”
“Surprise me then, Peanut. Hell, I love surprises!”
Offended, Rashawn rolled his eyes and mumbled beneath his breath. “Oh you're going to love this one, then.”
“What did you say?” Peaches giggled. “Don’t get mad. I’m just teasing. It’s rough out here, especially the way the economy is right now. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t bring it up anymore.”
“Look, don’t worry about it. So, what are you doing tonight?”
“I don't know. Nothing really, why?”
“I just thought of a way to burn some extra calories.” Rashawn’s eyes brightened.
“Oh hell, no Peanut! I am not doing anymore damn exercises. You've worked me so hard my pain has pain. It’s Friday night and I’m going to relax with a bubble bath and a good book.”
“So, you don't want to go dancing?”
“Now hold up, you didn't say anything about dancing!”
“You in?”
“Oh, hell yeah! I'm definitely in, but what about itty, bitty pretty one? What's she going to say about it?”
Rashawn laughed as he took his turn on the speed bag. “That's real cute. There you go minding my damn bizniz again! That's my problem not yours.”
Chapter 16
Finally free and clear of Peaches and officially engaged to Mercedes, Charles was as happy as a fat pig in a barrel of fowl slop. In celebration of their daughter’s engagement, Mercedes’ wealthy parents threw the happy couple and impromptu engagement party. In his element the relaxed and poised, Charles worked the crowded party effortless charming everyone he met.
“You see this is the type of people I've been trying to socialize with for the past ten years.” He said as he pulled his beautiful fiancé in his arms and sampled her lips.
“I understand your pain, but that's what happens when you try to teach a GHETTO bird to fly.”
“I'm so lucky to have a woman like you on my arm. I can't wait until we get married.”
“Married? I don't see a ring on this finger. Do you?” Mercedes quickly cuts him off.
“Mercedes you saw the ring. You know I have a ring for you.”
“I hope you’re not talking about that ring you proposed to me with. You remember… The one that your ex-girlfriend said was the ring she picked out… Yeah! You know the one I’m talking about. I can tell by the grimace on your face you know the ring I’m talking about.”
“That ring cost a lot of damn money! Peaches has the ring! I know she does… As soon as I…”
“Are you kidding me? I don’t want that ring! Let her have it and get me another one! Now, I told my parents that my one of a kind ring was at the jeweler being sized to buy you more time, but we both know the truth. So, I suggest you stop trying to get that gaudy ring from that plus size heifer and buy me a new one, before they discover the truth!” Mercedes holds up her left hand and waves it in Charles face. “Until there’s a ring on this finger, I don’t even want to hear you say the M word to me!”
“Mercedes, that was a really nice ring. It cost me a hell of a lot of money.”
“I don’t care! It might be a nice ring for a Peach, but certainly not for a Mercedes. Both of you have horrible taste! In fact, I’ve just decided that I want to pick out my own ring. I can't believe you bought that bullshit for me!”
“Look, I'm sorry baby. You are right. We'll go ring shopping tomorrow.”
“We'd better. I’m not in the habit of lying to my parents and I’m surely going to start lying to them for you.” Mercedes pouted.
“I’ll take you the jeweler and you can have any ring you want. Okay?”
Mercedes smiled as she realized she’d gotten her way. “Okay, but don’t think that I’m not going to keep allowing you to take my kindness f
or weakness.”
“Speaking of kindness… Do you think I can move out of the hotel and move in with you?”
“Oh no, no, no, no no! No! Hell no! That is not going to happen. My condo is too small for two people. Evict Plum and move back in your own house!”
“Peaches, her name’s Peaches… And I can’t because that’s her house. She brought it after she started her design business.”
“I don’t give a damn what her name is. Nor do I care whose name the deed to your damn house is in. All I know is that you cannot move in with me. We've already discussed this, Charles. Besides, I need a husband not a roomy. So, I suggest you start looking for a house, because you can't live with me.” Mercedes snapped.
“Baby, the hotel is expensive. It'll only be for a little while until we find a nice house. Please, just for a week or two… I promise! Okay?”
“Yeah, I'm sure you conned Pomegranate into believing some nonsense just like that… But I'm not having it!” She said as she discreetly wrestled her way out of his arms.
“Peaches… Her name is Peaches like the fruit. Anyway, Mercedes you know I'd never do that to you. Why would you even think something like that?” Charles assured her as he pulled her back to him.
“Charles, I know you won’t, because I'm not going to let you. In the infamous words of Beyoncé Knowles, "If you like it you'd better put a ring on it.” Mercedes holds up her left hand and shakes her narrow hips as if she were dancing in the Beyoncé video.
Charles laughed, “I see my snow bunny got a little soul in her rump!”
“Just because I’m a white girl, it doesn’t mean I can’t dance,” Mercedes snickered. “But… It also does not mean that I’m a damn fool! You were with Pear for over ten years and never bought her a house or a friendship ring.”
“Peaches! Baby her name is Peaches!”
“That’s what I said. Anyway! It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let you charm me into a similar death sentence. So, no! Get my ring, we’ll set a date. Then buy me house and I’ll consider moving with you.”
“Well, I guess we're going ring and house shopping this weekend.”
“I guess we are.” She seductively cooed as she sipped her drink.
“So, one more thing… Can I at least bring some of my laundry around for you to wash? I'm running out of underwear. I was going to take it to my mother’s but she stopped speaking to me when she found out I left Peaches. I just have a bag or two… Every things in my car…”
“What? Are you kidding me? Hell no! What do I look like, the damn wash woman? You need to send that shit to the hotel laundry service. I can't believe that you think I'm going to wash your damn draws. Uh! No!”
Embarrassed for asking, Charles quickly apologized. “You're right. I'm sorry, just forget I asked. It's just that Peaches always took care of things like that for me. I'm not good at...”
“Yeah, well I'm not Pineapples! So, double hell no!”
Charles surrendered. “You're right. Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out. I guess my momma and Pineapples spoiled me.”
“Yeah well, I have no intention of spoiling you. And I certainly have no intentions of washing your damn dirty clothes!” She snorted as she took a sip of her drink and smiled pretty for a couple that walked by. “Hi, how are y’all doing?”
“Good! Congratulations on your engagement.” The man acknowledged and the woman nodded in agreement.
“Thank you.” Charles and Mercedes chimed in unison.
Now for some odd reason Charles developed and indescribable itch in the seat of his pants. Bothered by it, he nonchalantly tries to scratch his butt. Unfortunately, the itch was persistent and did not go away. Not only did the burning itch continue, it traveled.
Suddenly the itching sensation had spread to his taint and his testicles. Unable to resist the urge to scratch, Charles discreetly tries to reposition his junk and scratch his balls. He breathed a sigh of relief that no one seemed to notice.
Slowly but surely the itch intensified. With no other recourse Charles began to uncontrollably scratch his ass and his balls more and more frequently. Finally, he caught the attention of Mercedes’ father a Circuit Court Judge- Judge Roosevelt Murphy.
Not sure exactly what Charles problem was, Judge Murphy nonchalantly approached the couple and whispered in Charles' ear. “Charles is everything alright, son?”
“Oh yes sir! Everything is perfect. This is a wonderful gathering. We can’t thank you enough.” Charles replied as he desperately suppressed the urge to scratch his balls and dig in his ass.
“Are you sure? You're sweating profusely.”
Charles switches and kicks his leg out in a fruitless attempt to relieve the burning itch without scratching. “Don’t worry, I’m fine, sir.” He lied. “It’s just a little hot out here today.”
“What's wrong daddy?” Mercedes asked as she noticed the concern on her father’s face.
“I don't know. Something's wrong with Charles.”
While they were talking, Charles seized the opportunity to dig in his balls, assuming they weren't looking. Unfortunately they caught him.
“Charles! What on earth is wrong with you?” Mercedes asked appalled.
“Son wouldn't you feel more comfortable handling that in the privacy of the men's room?” Her father asked as he smiled and waved at an on-looking guest.
“Yes of course. I'm sorry. I have no idea what's going on. I suddenly have this uncontrollable itch, that...” At this point, the burning sensation in Charles crack is so intense, Charles stopped mid- sentence and began dancing and twitching as if his pelvis was on fire. “Water, I need water! Quick!” He hissed as he danced and tried to discreetly scratch himself in a futile attempt to control the fiery itching sensation.
Mercedes quickly looked around for a bottle of water but there wasn’t a glass of water in site. She called for a waiter which instantly drew attention to the trio. “Waiter! I need a glass of water. Quickly please!”
By now Charles is inflames and the itching has completely spiraled out of control. Charles is sweating and scratching profusely. Dancing around and digging in his ass like a chimpanzee he frantically looks for a solution.
“Good heavens man! Control yourself! Remember, you are in public!” Judge Murphy barked.
“Believe me I'm trying sir!” Charles responded as the itching became unbearable. With no other relief in sight Charles did the unthinkable and dived into the pool, fully clothed.
Humiliated, Mercedes stared blankly at him. “Charles!”
Relieved that the God awful itch had subsided Charles instantly let out a big sigh of relief as everyone burst into laughter.
Judge Murphy was completely shocked. He turned beet red from anger and disgrace. “Get out of my pool.” He somehow managed to utter without spontaneously combusting.
Mercedes ran to the side of the pool embarrassed, humiliated and confused. “Charles, what the hell is wrong with you? I can't believe you just humiliated me in front of my entire family! Get out of that pool now!” She screamed. Tripping over a cart in her haste, she lost her balance and fell backwards into the pool with Charles. The crowd roared with laughter and applauded the newly engaged couple.
Chapter 17
Rashawn and Peaches had worked hard for over a month straight. Now it was time to have a little fun. Rashawn pulled up in front of an exclusive Atlanta night spot and parked Boss Hog. Peaches, embarrassed by Boss Hog’s appearance, quickly looked around to see if anyone saw them arrive.
“I can't believe you talked me into letting you drive me here in Boss Hog. What the hell was I thinking?”
“Why? Boss Hog is cool. It's a classic.”
“Yeah, a classic mess. They're never let us in if they see us getting out of this thing. Where's your car?”
“My car’s in the shop. It needed a new exhaust system. Don't worry I know these guys, we'll get in. Don’t worry, You’re with me. Besides, you look stunning in that dress! Who gives a damn how you g
ot here? Anyway, I drove, if anybody should be embarrassed it should be me.”
“Right? You embarrassed? Peanut you don't even know the meaning of the word shame.” Peaches snickered.
“Hell no! I have a beautiful woman with me, and I’m fine as hell. There ain't a damn thing to be ashamed about.” He grinned as he helped Peaches out of the car. Taking her by the hand they headed for the entrance. Following her lead Rashawn followed Peaches to the rear of the line.
“What are doing? Come on. I told you I got this.” He asked puzzled as they waited in line.
“I don't mind waiting.”
“Maybe not but I do.”
“Peanut, please don't embarrass me. You know how I hate to be embarrassed. Let’s just wait in line.” She begged.
“Peaches, I promise you. I'm not going to embarrass you. Come on I told you that I know these guys. Let’s go.” He assured her.
Reluctant, Peaches reluctantly followed Rashawn as he walked pass the long line of people. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along as they neared the door.
“Hey! What's up Big Tony?” He greeted the doorman with a pound, a slap and a bro hug.
“Not a damn thing man. I haven’t seen you here in a minute. What's up with you?”
“Not much! Trying to stay out of trouble.” Rashawn laughed. “Came down to work up a sweat and blow off some steam. You have room for me and my girl in there?”
Big Tony eyed Peaches. A sexy smile covered his face as he nodded with approval. “I heard that. How are you doing Miss Diva Extraordinaire?” He flirted.
“I'm fine.” Peaches responded, embarrassed as the long line of people watched on to see if they’d get in.
“You certainly are.” He grinned.
“Big Tony this is my friend Peaches. Peaches this is Big Tony.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Peaches. You look beautiful tonight. Y’all go on in and have a good time.” He said as he opened the red velvet rope so they could enter.
“Thanks man.”
“You know I always have room for you. Hey, Rashawn! Don't forget me man...”
“I got you! Up close and personal. Give me a call later this week.” Rashawn quickly cut him off.
Georgia On My Mind Page 7