Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1)

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Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1) Page 13

by Sarah Jane Duncan


  Alexis Amity West! If you aren’t willing to follow through, then you shouldn’t play with fire! I definitely think I’ve lost my marbles. One moment I’m crying in his arms, feeling broken about my family, and the next moment I’m trying to lure the guy, who has shown me nothing but kindness, to my lips! For what? A Kiss? Do I want him to kiss me? Well duh!

  My thoughts, and probably my pink cheeks, are quickly swept away when the entrance door swings open, and Marcus steps in, stopping in place when he sees me.

  “Lexi? What are you doing here?”

  Shit! I open my mouth to speak, but the bathroom door swings open and a towel-clad, dripping wet Ayden steps into the room.

  “Hey,” he says to Marcus calmly and gives me a wink when he turns his head away from his cousin.

  Holy hell, Lucifer, I praise you! I will spend a lifetime in your realm as a result of the sins rolling through my mind at the sight of Ayden Mitchell dripping with water. Someone get me a damn fire extinguisher!

  “Hey.” Marcus is still standing in the same position, stunned, and Ayden ignores him, walking through the curtains into his room. Marcus looks from me to where Ayden just disappeared and then moves to follow him.

  Relief washes over me as I watch Marcus disappear through the curtain. I don’t know what excuse to give Marcus about why I’m here. He probably doesn’t even know that me and Ayden are friends.

  “Dude, why is Lexi here?”

  “She dropped off some work that I missed yesterday. I asked her to wait so I could walk with her to school.” The fact that Ayden sounds so convincing annoys me a little. The lie comes so easily.

  “Oh, cool.” Marcus seems happy with the answer. Thank god!

  I glue my eyes to my phone, once again using the device to pretend I’m preoccupied when Marcus drops next to me on the couch, taking out his phone to do the same thing.

  A text message pops up on my phone from Nathan. I look up quickly, hoping that Marcus didn’t see it, before opening the message.

  Nathan

  Hey Lexi. Thanks for coming to the party the other night. You really let loose. I haven’t seen you like that before ☺

  Anyway, about what you said about things being over for good. Are you sure you meant that? Because the way you danced with me kind of said otherwise, and the way you cuddled me on the chair. I know you wouldn’t let me kiss you, or do anything else, but it kind of felt like more when you hugged me and went to sleep on my lap.

  Btw, I’m totally sober right now, so you can’t tell me I never open up unless I’m drunk.

  I am going to hell! I’m a slut. Or a tease. Probably both by the sounds of Nathan’s message. I don’t even know how to respond to that message, so I don’t. Maybe he’ll get the hint if I ghost him.

  “You going to Casey’s party this weekend, Lex?” Marcus doesn’t look up from his phone as he speaks, dragging me from my internal conflict. He doesn’t bring up my mum which I’m glad about. Hopefully, he will forget all about me running off yesterday.

  “Not sure,” I shrug, knowing that I have no idea what I’m doing tonight, let alone over the weekend. I would normally stay at Abbey’s, but she might be going away with Daniel’s family.

  “How about you, Ayd’s? Are you going to come to Casey’s party? It’s going to be a ripper.”

  Ayden walks back into the room, looking all kinds of yummy dressed in his school uniform. “Maybe. Who’s Casey again?”

  Marcus chuckles, “I’ll point her out again today.”

  “K,” Ayden sits on the edge of the coffee table to put his shoes on and winks at me again when Marcus isn’t looking. He’s done that two times in the last five minutes. What does this batting of his lashes mean exactly? Is it a Marcus believed my bullshit lie type of wink, or is it a hi I’m Ayden and think your cute type of wink? The thought has my face heating again, and of course, Ayden notices, his gaze almost intimidating as he stands, never taking his eyes off mine.

  “Let’s go.” He announces, and Marcus stands, picking up his backpack that he left by the door. I step forward to do the same, but while Marcus’s attention isn’t on us, Ayden steps up to me, leaning in close to whisper in my ear.

  “I don’t know what you were just thinking about Lex, but whatever it was that made my girl blush like that, means we will be having a chat about it later.”

  Heat flares from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. If I thought I was blushing before, then I’m as bright as Ronald McDonald’s hair right now. Ayden notices and grins with satisfaction as he turns and heads towards the door that Marcus just disappeared through.

  My girl? Did he just call me his girl?

  “You coming, Lex?” Ayden calls.

  I dip my head, embarrassed, and walk towards him, ignoring his pleased chuckle as I rush by. What is this guy doing to me? I’m usually so full of confidence and quick comebacks around the opposite sex. Boys are meant to get nervous around me, not the other way around! I can tell Ayden knows how he is affecting me, and I’m not sure I’m happy about being so transparent.

  As the three of us walk towards my meet up spot with Abbey on our way to school, Ayden and Marcus talk about footy, PE class, and this weekend’s meaningless party. Well, it’s mostly Marcus talking, but Ayden listens to his cousin’s babble, and I zone out since it doesn’t hold any importance to me anymore. A few months ago, I would have been all over that conversation, but now it seems insignificant.

  My thoughts flutter between Ayden and the effect he is having on me, to my dad and mum. Mum was taken to the hospital yesterday. I should probably call her and see if she’s okay. She could be back home by now for all I know. What do I say when I see her? Do I tell her about dad?

  “Lex!” The sound of my name snaps me back to reality, and I see Abbey up ahead with Daniel.

  My smile is forced, but I wave and hope no one notices my inability to be genuinely happy.

  “Hey girl, how are you?” Abbey draws me into a hug and whispers in my ear, “Why are you with Marcus & Ayden?” I guess it’s odd that I’m with these boys. A few years ago, it would have been typical for Marcus to be with me since we grew up and did everything together, but it all changed a few years ago, although I don’t really know why.

  When Abbey pulls back from our hug, I grin and shrug, knowing she will want answers as soon as we’re alone, given the curious glint in her eyes. As we walk, chatter starts up again about Casey’s party this weekend. Walking next to me, Ayden takes the chance, while the others are distracted, to lightly brush his hand against mine, linking our fingers briefly while no one can see.

  The action fills me with butterflies and draws my attention up to his face, and he mouths, “Are you okay?”

  I shrug again, not knowing if I am okay or not. When I’m with him, I feel like I could forget all of my worries. Well, almost all of my worries.

  A car horn blares beside us on the road, making all of us jump in fright. The sudden outburst snaps our attention to the silver BMW that has pulled up.

  “Lex, isn’t that your dad?” Abbey asks, and my heart nearly flies out of my throat.

  The silver cars tinted window slides down, and my dad leans across the seat.

  “Alexis, get in the car.” He sounds calm, but firm like an authoritative dad. There’s no way I’m getting into that car with him, though.

  “Hi, Mr West.” Abbey chirps with a big smile on her face, unaware of the hell that went down last night, “long time no see.”

  “Alexis, in the car now!” My dad growls harshly, ignoring Abbey.

  Warm fingers link with mine again and gently tug me backward. “Don’t go with him, Lex,” Ayden whispers in my ear, and I relax a little knowing he’s there. It’s what helps me to summon up the courage to speak.

  “Dad, I have to get to school. I’ll see you tonight.” I won’t, though, and he knows it. There is no way in hell I will go back home, not while things are the way they are.

  “Alexis, get in the car now!”

&
nbsp; Abbey finally picks up that there’s a situation she doesn’t know about, and in her true best friend style, she steps in to help.

  “Mr West, we have a Maths test this morning during first period. Lexi can’t miss it.” I love her!

  “Abbey, this has nothing to do with you, and test or no test,” my dad looks from Abbey to me, “Alexis, you will get in this car now!” he roars.

  Angry tears form in my eyes, and my reckless fury takes over. Dropping my bag to the path, I rip off my school blazer, throwing it on the ground, “I will not go with you! I will never get in a car with someone who would do this to me!”

  Gasps come from Abbey, Daniel, and Marcus when they witness the handprint bruises that mar my upper arm and wrist. My dad’s face pales, and his head jerks like I’ve slapped him. I see pain and remorse flash over his face briefly before it’s replaced with anger. Saying nothing else, he slams his foot on the accelerator and speeds off, leaving me a trembling mess on the footpath with a group of confused friends behind me.

  I’m shaking when Abbey steps up to me with tears of her own, pulling me into a hug. Then I break.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The rest of the walk to school is quiet and awkward with the boys around. Daniel manages to pry himself away from Abbey to walk with Ayden and Marcus, giving us some well-needed girl time.

  Like I did with Ayden, I left a few details out when I share the crazy shit that happened over the past twenty-four hours with Abbey. I’m sure Ayden knows more than she does at this point. She still doesn’t know about Mike hitting me and turning our home into a crack house. She only knows that I don’t get along with him, and I’m sure she thinks it’s just a sibling rivalry thing.

  “You can’t go back there tonight,” Abbey states the obvious, which gains the boy's attention.

  They stop walking, turning to us.

  “She’s right,” Marcus’s voice is filled with concern, and the look he gives me almost makes me cry again. They must have overheard me telling Abbey what happened.

  Nodding, I look to my feet, feeling overwhelmed with the attention on me.

  “Wait, where did you stay last night?” Damn it, Abbey, I was hoping she wouldn’t think about that.

  “With me,” Ayden doesn’t hesitate with the truth. My eyes shoot to his, and he regards me with care.

  “Dude.” Marcus drawls at the same time that Abbey blurts. “You slept with Ayden? I-I mean, you slept at Ayden’s?” Abbey’s fumbled words don’t go unnoticed by the boys, and Marcus snickers like an immature idiot. Daniel chuckles too, turning his attention to the street behind us in guilt when Abbey shoots him a death glare.

  “I slept at Ayden’s. He took the couch.” I watch Abbey’s face as my words sink in, and thankfully she buys it.

  “Oh man,” Abbey grabs her phone out of her blazer pocket, “All the missed calls from you. I’m so sorry, Lex.” Only now she realises that I’d needed her. I wonder if she’d heard my calls and just ignored them because she was busy with Daniel or something? It doesn’t matter now.

  “It’s okay, Abs. Ayden was there to help.”

  “Good,” Abbey nods, “I’m glad you didn’t sleep in the park again.”

  Jesus Abbey. Let everyone in on the bullshit that is my life, why don’t you!

  “What?” Ayden snaps, looking a mixture of concerned and angry.

  I let my head fall forward and sigh, hearing Abbey whisper, “Sorry.”

  “You weren’t kidding about that? You’ve slept in the park instead of going home before?” My eyes plead with Ayden to drop it. This information doesn’t need to be broadcast to everyone.

  “We need to get to school.” Hoping to shift our huddled group back into walking, I move forward, but Ayden’s strong arm stops me.

  “Lex, we need a plan for tonight. You can’t go home.”

  I look up to him, seeing the fear in his eyes.

  “Ayden’s right, Lex. You can’t go home. I’ll talk with my parents and see if they are happy for you to stay for a while. Maybe they can help?” Abbey sounds hopeful, but I’m not so sure. Her parents have always been nice enough to me, but I still get the impression they think I’m a bad influence on her. Their religious beliefs have been an issue over the years, and they have frowned upon some of the things I do, like my edgy taste in music. I can’t play the music I like in their house. Abbey may be right, though, and they may help. I have a terrible feeling that my current situation won’t sit well with them, though.

  “Okay, thanks Abs.” I have to try at least, so I agree. Ayden links his fingers with mine, no longer caring who sees, and we finish walking to school. The entire time I try to avoid Abbey’s wagging eyebrows and pointed smirks. The moment we are alone, I just know she’s going to hound me about what’s going on with Ayden.

  I’m not exactly sure what Ayden and I are. I met him three days ago, and in that short time, he’s managed to insert himself into my life and take root. It should annoy me, but it doesn’t. Having him around has been a blessing. I’m pretty sure he’s interested in more than friendship with me. His flirting melts me like butter, rendering me senseless at times. But he also hasn’t done anything more than kiss the top of my head or hold my hand. He did spoon me, which is more than a friend thing, right? Shit, maybe he was just trying to comfort me, and that’s all there is to it.

  Whether Ayden’s interest in me is in friendship or more, part of me feels like I should tell him to back off and not get too close. I worry that my tainted life will burn him and bring him down. He has such a kind heart. I’d hate myself profusely if I were the one to destroy that part of him. I have no idea what’s going to happen in my life now. Will my dad divorce my mum? Should I even tell my mum about what her husband has been up to? Will Mike ever leave me alone?

  As my thoughts grow darker, I convince myself that Ayden will let go of my hand when we arrive at school. He isn’t going to want anyone to know that he’s associated with the kind of screwed up I am. As the little self-loathing devil sits on my shoulder, whispering every insecurity I can imagine, I’m proved wrong when Ayden holds my hand even tighter. Our arrival at school doesn’t make him pull away, and his tightening grip feels almost as if he’s afraid to let go.

  Whispers start-up as we make our way through the yard. I don’t care that they see Ayden’s hand in mine, and I draw strength from his unwavering support. However, I do care that I’m the focus of the attention as we make our way to our lockers. I hate all the eyes on me, and I just want to fade into the background and disappear.

  The first part of the day is easy. Ayden and I have the first two classes together, Maths and History, so we sit together like it’s second nature. Anytime I start to get lost in my thoughts, Ayden puts his hand on my knee, pulling me back to the present and keeping me grounded.

  At recess, we sit together and share a bucket of hot chips. I don’t miss the fact that Ayden makes me eat most of the chips while he keeps the conversation light and away from the intense events of my last twenty-four hours.

  Tasha spends most of recess glaring at me like I’ve grown two heads. I don’t know why exactly, but I’m willing to bet she’s pissed that she didn’t get the chance to dig her fake claws into Ayden. I try to ignore her, but her bitchy scowl is her not so subtle way of letting me know that she has an issue with me. I’m sure before the day is through, Tasha will pounce and bare her teeth to me. Bring it bitch!

  After recess, I have Art, and I enter the same classroom I trashed only days earlier. Guilt is a bitch that doesn’t give up, leaving me in a hot sweat throughout the lesson. I barely do any of my work getting sidetracked by the bright yellow tape which hasn't been removed from the newly installed windows. I did that! I’m a horrible person!

  When Art is over, I can’t get out of the classroom fast enough to head to my Pastoral Care class. Not because I like Pastoral Care, but because I can’t stand another second in the room I trashed. Pastoral Care is a bullshit class made up so teachers can pry into our l
ives. They insist it’s for guidance, but not once have I received any good advice from it. What makes it worse is that it’s another class that I don’t have with Ayden. I miss him already. He’d been reluctant to leave me after recess, but we had no choice, and he’s now on the other side of the school in woodwork.

  “Excuse me, Lexi West?” Mrs Monaghan, the pastoral care teacher, calls from the front of the room.

  I glance up to see the school secretary at the front of the room looking at me expectantly.

  “Grab your things, please, and go to the office with Margaret.”

  I frown at Mrs Monaghan’s words, “Why?”

  “Just do as you’re asked, please,” she snaps back, and I huff in annoyance. My annoyance is quickly replaced with panic. Shit, do they know I’m the one who vandalized the school? It’s unusual for a student to be collected from class, so of course, all eyes are on me. If I’m about to go down for the vandalism, then I’m about to be the talk of the school.

  I reluctantly do as I’m asked and follow the secretary out of the classroom. The need to message Ayden is overwhelming, but I’m so ashamed to admit what I’ve done, so I keep my phone in my pocket. I can’t bear to see the disappointment he will wear on his face when he finds out who I really am, and what I’m capable of.

  “You need to grab your bag from your locker first.” Margret insists as we walk.

  “What? Why?” I’m so fucked!

  “Like Mrs Monaghan said before Miss West, just do as you are asked, please.”

  Her words are firm, almost scolding as if I’m in trouble. I probably am. I’m probably about to get kicked out of school. Maybe even arrested. When my dad finds out, things are definitely going to be bad for me.

  When I follow the secretary into the Principal's office a few minutes after getting my bag, I freeze on the spot for a moment in shock before my instincts scream at me to turn and run. As if sensing where my head is at, Margaret hastily shuts the door in my face, and I reluctantly turn back to look at the man who has caused me so much pain in the last twenty-four hours.

 

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