Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1)

by Sarah Jane Duncan

  “Excuse me, Andrea? I don’t suppose you have any foundation that might cover some of this bruising?” It’s hard for me to ask for help, but I’m not foolish enough to think I can do this shit on my own right now.

  Andrea shakes her head, “I’m sorry, sweetie. I left everything back in Fox Pines.”

  “We can go to the shops today, Lex.” Ayden joins us in the kitchen, popping down in the seat next to me. I have to stop myself from leaning into him when his scent wraps around me. The pull he has on me is ridiculous.

  Facing me with his knees against my chair, Ayden keeps his focus solely on studying my face. He’s trying to read me, needing to check how I’m doing after being a depressed zombie yesterday. I hate that I was too weak to fight it. I hate that he witnessed me at my lowest. No one wants to see that shit. Surely he’s changed his mind about me and wants to bolt screaming in the other direction.

  And there it is again. The self-loathing arsehole that sits on my shoulder, whispering its negativity in my mind trying to pull me back down. Take control, Lexi!

  Attempting to take my own advice, I give Ayden a small smile hoping that he’ll see I’m okay and not a complete nut job. I’m instantly rewarded with his smile, the damn thing having the power to make my face light up like a beacon once again. Naturally, I duck my head, not wanting to show the effect he has on me.

  “I told you to stop trying to hide that from me.” I can’t stop the shiver that his whisper induces, his breath warm on the side of my face, making my face heat even more.

  “Stop it!” Slapping his knee, I feign ignorance at his flirting in front of his parents. When I check to see if they are witnessing it, I see that Andrea has moved over to the kitchen counter, talking to Peter in hushed tones.

  Ayden chuckles, “No way. Not going to happen. The way you respond to me is just too beautiful.”

  God damn it, now I’m blushing even more. This guy is turning me into mush, and I’m helpless to stop it. I revert the conversation to what he said when he walked into the room.

  “I don’t have any money on me to buy makeup.”

  He grins, “changing the subject, I see.”

  “Ayden, stop being weird,” Andrea says, wiping the grin off Ayden’s face, “Lexi honey, I can give you some money.”

  “Oh no, I can’t take money off you, but thank you for the offer.”

  “Bull shit, yes she can,” Ayden huffs, standing from the chair and heading over to the kitchen counter to steal a slice of bacon off his dad’s plate.

  “Seriously, Ayden, do you have to swear?” Andrea scolds with her hands on her hips. Her serious expression is quickly replaced with a frustrated smile as Ayden gives her a toothy grin around the slice of bacon in his mouth. She shakes her head, turning her attention back to me.

  “It’s no problem at all, honey. If it makes you feel better, we can pretend it’s a loan.” Andrea gives me a wink, and Ayden looks over at me, smiling and nodding like he’s proud of himself. Adorable smug arsehole!

  Knowing I won’t win this argument, I thank Andrea when she passes me some wadded up cash, and I slide it into the back pocket of my jeans. After Ayden has had his fill of bacon and eggs, he gets ready quickly, and we walk the six blocks to the Melbourne Central Shopping Centre.

  Ayden holds my hand as we walk, clasping it tightly in his, helping me feel safe and cared for. As we get deeper into the city, the crowds grow thicker, and he tugs me close while we weave our way through the hordes of people.

  I’m still wearing his hoodie. It’s too big for me, but the comfort it brings, outweighs my need to look fashionable right now. Not to mention, having his scent wrapped around me is calming for my jittery nerves. Even though we are walking the streets of Melbourne, and not Fox Pines, I’m still anxious that I’m going to run into my dad or that my brother is going to jump out from around every corner. Mike still hasn’t been found by the police, and as far as I know, my dad is still in the city. The thought of seeing their faces again makes me feel sick to my stomach, so I try my best not to think about them.

  Reaching the shopping centre, I let Ayden continue to lead the way since he seems to be on a mission. Before I know it, we are standing outside a Sephora store, the same one Abbey and I snuck off to when we were at City camp last year.

  “You know it’s kind of concerning that you know exactly where this shop is.” I grin at Ayden, and he gives me a wink.

  “I’m not just a pretty face. Come on, let’s go make you feel a little better in your own skin.”

  I can’t contain my smile as we walk into the store. Ayden always seems to know what I’m thinking, or how to put a smile on my face.

  Like the last time I was in this store, I am overwhelmed with the number of options before me. We roam the aisles before I spot a brand I recognise from a James Charles video I saw last month. That will do. I test out the foundation on my skin and realise I’m going to need more than just a foundation to cover up the bruising. Ayden must notice my dilemma and moves away from me to speak to one of the store girls. A brief conversation and some colour testing later, and I have a little bag filled with foundation, concealer, and skincare goodies that Ayden insists on paying for even though his mum gave me money.

  The need to have people stop staring at my battered face consumes me, so Ayden waits patiently outside the toilets with all the other boyfriends and husbands while I tend to my face. I try to make myself appear somewhat normal with the makeup Ayden just brought me, which is exactly the result I get. It’s a little hard to look normal with the slight swelling still there, and the healing cut on my cheek, but I figure it’s better than nothing. Feeling more human than I have in days helps me to hold my head a little higher by the time I get back to Ayden.

  “Feel better?” Ayden grins as I approach. I won’t lie. The way he watches me sends all sorts of girly butterflies fluttering through my tummy. It does wonders for my confidence, which has been in hiatus for a while now.

  “Kinda.” I shrug, smiling back.

  Ayden steps into my personal space, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on my forehead before linking his fingers with mine. Even though I know I don’t look great, Ayden has a way of making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, but one I hope to experience again.

  Our conversation is light as we wander through the shopping centre. I bring up some of the stories I can vaguely remember Ayden telling me the night before, and he fills in the blanks, never once making me feel bad for shutting down yesterday. For a short time, as we fill our day window shopping, I feel like a normal girl.

  Walking past a communications store, I’m reminded that my dad took my phone. It was a calculated move on his part. A way to ensure I couldn’t reach out for help. It’s also a small form of torture to take a teenage girl's phone away from her. Does that man have a death wish?

  Ayden has been letting me use his phone the few times I asked, and as much as I appreciate it, not having my own phone is just another reminder of the control I have lost.

  “I need to get a new phone.” I pull Ayden to stop in front of the store, and he considers something.

  “If you like, you can have my old phone. It’s in my room at dad’s place. It works fine, so we can just grab you a new sim card, and you can use that.”

  “If your old phone works fine, why did you get a new one?” I’m kind of teasing, but also curious.

  Ayden shrugs, “The new model came out, and I wanted it.”

  His statement is annoying. I have no idea what it would be like just to get something because I want it. Most of the things I have or do are out of necessity. It’s not even from lack of money, just lack of my parents giving me any while they splurge on themselves.

  Ayden ignores my frown and leads the way into the store. Taking charge, he organises the new sim card, and pre-purchases credit for me, once again not accepting the money that his mum gave me, and instead, using his own.

  “Ayden, you can’t keep
paying for things. Your mum gave me money.” I pull the notes from my back pocket and shove them to his chest after we step out of the store, but he bats my hand away.

  “Just hang on to it, Lex. You might need other things at some stage. At least then you’ll have some cash and won’t get all worried about having to ask my mum for more. Not that she’d care.” He grabs my free hand and starts walking, effectively ending the conversation. I roll my eyes and move with him, not in the mood to argue.

  As we walk, I feel his eyes move to me frequently, which eventually ignites the fire in my cheeks, causing him to chuckle. The smart-arse is doing it on purpose. I would’ve slapped that grin off his adorable face, with love of course, if we weren’t walking the streets of Melbourne.

  “It makes you nervous walking around the city, doesn’t it?” I nod in answer, knowing Ayden studies me again. “You know I won’t let anything happen to you, right?” The slight squeeze of his hand makes me look up at him. He is serious, and I believe that he believes he can keep me safe.

  “Yep,” I give him a small smile hoping it's convincing.

  Ayden stops abruptly and spins me around, pulling me to his chest.

  “I will never let anyone hurt you again, Lex.” His voice is low, husky, and serious. Warm hands cup my face, and he gently brushes his thumb across my un-harmed cheek. The city-goers scurry around us, not paying us any attention, almost like we are nothing more than a post in the middle of a path. Ayden’s eyes draw me in, and I can see the fire they hold as he looks at me.

  “I know,” I whisper, “I’m sorry.”

  He frowns, “Babe, don’t be sorry. I just want you to know without a doubt that I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

  Babe. Did he just call me babe? The endearment makes a grin tug at the corner of my mouth.

  “Something amuse you?” His eyes give away that he already knows what caused my reaction.

  “Babe?” I ask.

  Smiling, he licks his lips and leans in, brushing my lips briefly before he deepens the kiss. I clutch at his hoodie while the feel of his warm, smooth lips heat me from the inside. Honestly, we must look ridiculous standing in the middle of the city, kissing while people rush around us. I should care, right? I don’t, though. I can’t seem to find a care in the world right in this moment. Ayden deepens the kiss again, this time his tongue invading my mouth, causing me to moan. I let go of his hoodie with one hand and clasp onto his head, desperate to pull him closer while on the tips of my toes trying to stretch up and meet his height. I don’t know how long we stand there in our own little bubble, exploring each other’s mouths, building this undeniable heat between us. It eventually gets too much for me to continue doing it in public, and I reluctantly break the kiss.

  “Shit, sorry, Lex.” Almost panting, Ayden still holds my head in his hands, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Never apologise for that.” He grins at my comment. I’ve thrown his own words back at him.

  “I didn’t get too carried away then?” The concern etched across his face is adorable.

  “No, you didn’t, but I don’t think it would have stayed legal had we kept kissing like that.”

  That smile. If I thought I’d seen him smile before, then I was wrong. This smile lights up his whole face. His slightly puffy, well-kissed lips extend up and out, showing his pearly white teeth and a dimple in each cheek.

  “Jesus Ayden, that smile is lethal.”

  His dark brows shoot up before he throws his head back, laughing. “You are,” he speaks between laughs, “fucking adorable.”

  “Oh, shut up,” I smack him on the arm and stalk off.

  He catches up quickly, linking his fingers with mine, still wearing a big cheesy grin, “What? You don’t like being adorable?”

  “Would you?” I attempt to keep a straight face.

  “Only if it’s you thinking it.” He’s such a cocky dick, and I love it!

  We continue the walk back to his dad’s apartment in some sort of silent urgency. If he’s thinking along the same lines as me, then we are in a hurry to continue that kiss behind closed doors.

  Arriving back at Peter’s apartment, we head to the kitchen to make ourselves some sandwiches and retreat to the living room to watch more Netflix. I had kind of thought we might hide away in his bedroom, but Ayden led me here having other ideas. Am I disappointed? Yes, a little. I really should stop being a hornbag!

  I don’t pay much attention to the movie on the screen, too busy setting up Ayden’s hand me down phone and re-loading all of my apps. As I go through logging into each social media account, a string of message notifications pop up, and unable to beat my curiosity, I start reading through them.

  Not so sweet Catholic Girls Group

  Tasha-Pritchard

  Uh- Lexi. Did I really just see a news report about you? WTF is going on?

  Allison-May

  That was totally Lexi’s house. Where are you Lexi?

  Sophie-Smig

  My mum drove past, and the street is blocked off. Abbey WTF is happening with Lexi?

  Abbey-Tosch

  All you need to know is that Lexi is safe now.

  Tasha-Pritchard

  You knew about this and didn’t say anything?

  Abbey-Tosch

  It’s not my story to tell Tasha!

  Tasha-Pritchard

  Apparently not! Lexi hasn’t even cared to trust us with this. Nice fucking friends you both are!

  Amanda-Burrows

  Tash, Abbey is right. Even if she knew about this, it’s not her place to say anything, and I can understand Lexi not wanting to tell anyone.

  Tasha-Pritchard

  Whatever!

  Sophie-Smig

  Lexi? If you get this message, I really hope you are okay. X

  Amanda-Burrows

  Same x

  I always knew Tasha was a bitch. She’d be pissed off if I died suddenly and didn’t let her know beforehand. I contemplate telling her what I think, but decide against it and just send a simple message.

  Lexi-West

  I’ll be okay X

  There are a few private messages from Marcus checking in with me, asking if I’m coping alright. I respond with the same message I sent the girl's group chat and move on to the boy's group chat. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.

  Jared-Crowley

  Fuck you Grady, you’ve known all along what happened to Lexi, haven’t you!

  Marcus-Grady

  It’s none of your business, man. None of anyone's business.

  Jared-Crowley

  Like fuck it’s none of my business. Six has been living a fucking nightmare. I should have been there to help her.

  Shaun-Bossier

  Six?

  Marcus-Grady

  Six is the code name we called Lexi when we were kids. We did this stupid thing where we spelt our name’s backwards and used the first three letters as our code name. Alexis was Six. Jared was Der (lol der!), Abbey’s was Yeb, and mine was fucking Suc. Lex had the best code name.

  Shaun-Bossier

  Wow. You lot really were dorks when you were kids, weren’t you? Lol Suc.

  Jared-Crowley

  Who cares about the code names! Is she okay? Like what did that fucker do to her? I’m going to fucking kill him! Is that why she’s with Ayden? And why Ayden? What does he have to do with any of this?

  Ayden-Mitchell

  She’s with me because I am looking after her. I got her out of town, and she is safe away from her brother while the cops hunt him down.

  Jared-Crowley

  So you and her are a thing now? Real fucking smooth jumping in and taking advantage of her while she’s fucking vulnerable!

  Ayden-Mitchell

  I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but let me make one thing really fucking clear right now! I have not, and will not EVER take advantage of Lex.

  Simon-Hasting

  Ooooh Lexi has a boyfriend !!!

&n
bsp; Garrett-Cole

  Dude, not the right time to be joking.

  Simon-Hastings

  Someone has to try and get these cavemen to calm down.

  Lexi will read this shit, and then how do you think she will feel?

  Garrett-Cole

  I hate to say this guys, but Hastings has a point.

  Jared-Crowley

  I’m sorry Lexi! I didn’t mean to stir shit up. I just feel so helpless.

  Please respond when you can. Call me anytime. X

  Shaun-Bossier

  Did you just send Lexi a kiss Jar?XXX lol

  Jesus man, I didn’t know you lost your balls over her.

  Jared-Crowley

  You might want to shut your fucking mouth Bossi before I feed you my fist.

  You’re just jealous you don’t have the history me and Marcus have with her.

  Shaun-Bossier

  You guys have a threesome or something? Or foursome including Abbey?

  Man, that’s hot! Please tell me you did that???

  Ayden-Mitchell

  I know you’re trying to be funny Shaun, but have some fucking respect for Lexi!

  Shaun-Bossier

  She knows I’m joking around!

  Right Lex? You know I’m just joking?

  Fuck. I’m sorry ☹

  Garrett-Cole

  Ignore Bossi Lexi. He doesn’t know what self-control is.

  I know this sounds stupid given the situation, but I hope you’re okay Lex.

  Shaun-Bossier

  Same!

  Marcus-Grady

  Same!

  Simon-Hastings

  Same! I’ll happily give you my balls Lexi. XXXXXXXXXX

  Ayden-Mitchell

  Jesus Christ !

  Wow. Everyone is freaking out. I didn’t really think anyone would care. Jared’s reference to my childhood code name warms my heart. Six. I can’t remember when it was that we stopped using the silly code names we made up, but hearing it for the first time in years brings a rush of memories from a time in our lives when we really had few cares in the world.