“Back the fuck off!”
“Whoa there, pretty girl, no need to get violent.” Muz holds his hands up, his eyes dancing between the broken bottle pointed at him clutched in my hand, and to my eyes.
I have no delusions about this situation. I know damn well I’m not only outnumbered but also outmuscled. That doesn’t mean I’m not going down without one hell of a fight.
Despite my threat, Muz steps forward.
“Back off!” My scream is piercing, and Candy flinches back, but Muz doesn’t even bat an eyelid.
“You heard her, Muz, back off NOW!”
Everyone in the room flinches at the boom of the new deep voice joining the conversation. Candy is dragged out of the room while four large biker looking guys with tattooed bodies and long beards step in, looking all kinds of scary.
My hand shakes still pointed out in front of me with the jagged glass still aimed towards Muz.
I watch his face change from the menacing man threatening me, to something very close to a scared teenager. In this moment, he doesn’t quite seem as old as I thought he was. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and I notice for the first time that he has his gun in his hand, and I watch him tuck it into the back of his pants as he turns to face the four men.
“Ringo,” Muz says with a slight tremble in his voice.
“What the actual fuck, man? Do you know what I had to do to fucking keep you out of jail the last time? You were told, very fucking clearly, I might add, to stay the fuck away from Ayden Mitchell and his family!”
I’m not sure who this Ringo guy is, but I think I like him.
“Nah, Ringo, man, we were just fucking around. We didn’t mean no harm.”
Ringo stalks forward and clips Muz across the side of the head, sending him tumbling to the floor.
“Dad must be turning in his fucking grave at the waste of space you’ve turned out to be.”
Muz moves to stand back up, but Ringo pushes him back to the floor with his heavy boot. “Stay the fuck there!” Ringo snarls at Muz before turning to the other scary guys that walked in with him, “Bring them in.”
I’m crying, my tears contorting my vision as a blurred version of Peter and Andrea rush into the room with another guy carrying a medical bag.
I let the broken glass bottle fall from my hand, smashing by my feet as Andrea sweeps me in for a quick hug.
“You did good, honey. Once we get Ayden stable, we will get you back home.”
Home? I don’t even know where my home is. The thought is temporarily crushing until I look at Ayden and know without a doubt, that he is my home.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
The drive home was long and tortuous. Andrea and the other man with them worked their medical magic on Ayden before a couple of the big bikers carried him out to Peter’s car. Andrea spent the trip trying to get Ayden conscious in the back seat while Peter drove like a mad man. I kept quiet. I didn’t want to burden them with stupid questions or added worry, while their hearts were filled with fear for their son. I also couldn’t help feeling like the whole situation is my fault.
I mean, if I hadn't been such a weak, useless girl needing a guy to sweep in and save me from my brother, then Ayden would never have whisked me away from Fox Pines, back to the place which held all of his own demons.
When we arrived back to Peter’s, Andrea ushered me into Ayden’s room so that they could tend to their son without an audience, and I spent the rest of the night alone. So many times through the night, I contemplate going into the living room where they are looking after Ayden to offer help or just to say sorry. But I don’t, knowing they didn’t want me there in the first place. Even though Andrea didn’t say it outright when she led me to Ayden’s bedroom after getting home, I could tell she wanted me out of the way.
I cry myself to sleep at some stage only to be woken by the sounds of loud voices and rushing movement through the apartment. I can’t hear what is happening, but I know by the clear sounds of desperation that things aren’t good. I cry once again, cursing my existence and the shame it has brought to this nice family. I cry so much that I eventually cry myself to sleep again.
This happens multiple times through the night before a long stretch of sleep keeps me under. When I wake again, the apartment is quiet, and the sun is filtering through the gaps around the blinds on Ayden’s window.
Ayden’s room is lonely without him. I hate the idea of him never being in here with me again. He has to be okay. I need him to be okay. I’m a mess, both mentally and physically, so I shower quickly before getting enough courage up to leave the safety of his room to find out if he’s alright.
Padding into the kitchen, I find Andrea looking exhausted, sitting at the small kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee clasped between both hands. She looks up, noticing me.
“Hey, honey. Did you sleep, okay?”
“Where’s Ayden?” I glance in the living room, but he isn’t there.
Andrea sighs, “He’s in my room, honey. He’s not really up for seeing anyone right now.”
“Oh.” Disappointment floods me, but if he’s not up for seeing anyone, then it must mean he’s alright. “So, he’s okay?”
Andrea chews on her bottom lip, looking towards her bedroom door across the room. “He’s alive.”
My heart sinks. Maybe he isn’t okay. Andrea is being vague, and for the first time since coming here, I feel like an intruder. I don’t belong here.
“Is Peter with him?”
Andrea takes a long sip of her coffee, staring into the cup as she swallows and shakes her head. “No, Peter had to go do damage control.”
“Damage control?” I frown, confused, fisting my hands together nervously.
“Lexi honey, it might be best if you spend the day in Ayden’s room. Maybe grab yourself something to eat and watch a few movies?”
She makes it sound like a suggestion, but I can tell it’s more of a gentle order. She still wants me out of the way. She has no interest in dealing with me right now, and I don’t blame her. She isn’t like my mum. She cares unconditionally for her son, more than the air she breathes. Right now, her focus is on him, and I’m so grateful that he has parents who fight so fiercely to keep him safe.
I say nothing as I go to the kitchen bench and grab an apple before returning to Ayden’s room, where I hide for another hour. I try calling Abbey again, but she still doesn’t answer, so I send her a private message through SnapChat.
My message to her is brief, but I tell her that I’ve tried to call and text message and that I’m sorry if I upset her. A few minutes after sending it, my phone rings, and Abbey’s name flashes across the screen.
“Abs?”
“What do you mean you’ve been trying to ring me? I haven’t had any missed calls from you, Lex.”
“What? I’ve called so many times.”
“Really? That’s strange. Hang on a minute.” I can hear Abbey doing something with her phone before I hear her voice in the background, “Mother fuckers!” Abbey doesn’t swear that much, not like I do anyway, so it’s always weird to hear.
“What?”
“My parents, Lex! It has to be them.”
“Your parents, what? I’m confused.”
“Your number has been blocked in my phone. My parents have been demanding that I hand over my phone every night before bed. The arseholes must have blocked your number.”
“What? But why?”
Abbey sighs, “I’m sorry, Lex. They’re on some god preaching mission at the moment. It's as if being your friend is going to turn me to rebel against them or some shit.”
I’m at a loss for words. Why on earth would they think that? I knew they were feeling uncomfortable with my family situation and didn’t want to interfere, but how the hell does that mean I’m going to lead Abbey astray?
“Don’t worry about them, Lex. You know they’re nut jobs.”
“I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” I whisper, tears wetting my eyes.
“Lexi, you know you didn’t do anything wrong. They are weirdos. You know that.”
“I guess.” They are weird, but this feels a little extreme.
“Fuck them, Lexi, tell me what’s been going on.”
“Oh, you know, just the usual getting drugged and kidnapped by your dad so that your brother can beat you and try to molest you.”
“Shit Lex. I’m sorry. That was an insensitive question.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m feeling a little bitter today.”
“Rightfully so. Is everything okay with Ayden? You guys seem to be close.”
My stomach sinks. We were close, so close that he has taken a chunk of my heart, and now he’s paying for that in some kind of hell across the other side of this apartment.
“Lex?”
“Uh, yeah. He’s a good friend.” For some reason, I just can’t tell her how close Ayden and I have gotten. I don’t know why. A part of me wants to tell her about what happened last night, but a part of me knows it's not really my story to tell. Last night links to Ayden’s past, a past he was reluctant to tell me about, so there’s no way I’m going to blab about it to anyone else.
“I bet he is,” insinuation fills Abbey’s voice, and a small smile tugs at my lips. She knows me too well. “Shit, I have to go.”
The line goes dead. I look at my phone, confused, and replay our conversation over and over. Her parents must have walked in or something for her to hang up like that. A sob escapes as utter loneliness freezes my heart. I don’t understand why Abbey’s parents feel the way they do. It has to be because my dad was spouting lies to them. I hate that son of a bitch!
The threat my dad made in the email comes to my mind, and I have an urgent need to speak with my mum. I need to know she is still safe, so I call the hospital, and they allow my call to go through to her room. I guess she has been given phone privileges again.
“Hello?” The sound of my mum's voice is surprisingly welcome.
“Mum, it’s Lexi.”
“Oh. Alexis. This is a surprise.”
Actually, I think the surprise is the tone of her voice. She sounds calm.
“I just wanted to check in with you. See how you are doing?”
“That’s nice of you. I guess I’m doing okay. The doctors here are tolerable.” I can’t remember my mum ever sounding this normal.
“That’s great mum. I’m glad they are helping you.”
My mum sighs, “I’ll admit they are helping a little. I don’t see why I have to stay here, though. They won’t let me contact your dad, and I can’t understand why.”
“Don’t you remember what happened mum? With Mike? And what happened to me?”
“How could I forget Alexis. I’m going to need to change my damn name after I get out of here. Have you spoken with your father? Has he said anything about finding the file?”
“File? What file?”
“If Mike found it, then we are utterly screwed. He could have had it for this whole time for all we know.”
“Mum, I’m not following. What does Mike have?”
“Then again, if Mike found it, he would have passed it onto your dad. I can only assume because the money is still in the accounts that they both haven’t got their dirty hands on it.”
What the fuck is she going on about?
“Mum? What file are you talking about? What’s going on?”
“You sound good Alexis. Strong.” My mum’s voice sounds happy. Pleased. “You have always been the strong one. The defiant one. As annoying as it was to try and parent your stubbornness and strong will, I know it’s what will get you through this. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t let them get to it. When they think you are going to cower Alexis, show them your roar.”
“Mum?” I ask because that’s all I can manage. Am I even talking to my mum right now? Sure her voice sounds like my mum, but her calmness and tone, and the words she uses sounds nothing like the woman who was too wrapped up in substance abuse to raise me.
“I have to go now Alexis. It’s time for my therapy session. We will speak soon.”
“Uh- okay. Bye mum.”
“Goodbye Alexis.”
The line goes dead once again, and I’m left to my lonely thoughts. Who the fuck did I just talk to? Was that really my mum?
Lonely despair grips me, feeding my need to see Ayden. I know Andrea said to spend the day in his room, but I have to see him. I have to know that he’s okay. I need to see his face and his eyes and hear his voice. I need to hold him and show him how much I care about him just the way he did with me. I need to take care of him.
Never one to follow the rules, I quietly sneak out of Ayden’s room and down the hall that passes the kitchen and leads to the other side of the apartment. Sneaking past the living area, I see Andrea curled up asleep on the couch. There’s still no sign of Peter, so he must be doing damage control still, whatever the hell that means. Moving quickly before I second guess myself, I reach Peter’s bedroom and slowly open the door, trying to be quiet.
Ayden's form lies on the large bed facing the other direction. A big shop front type of window lines that side of the room, looking out over the city below. It’s a great view that I’m sure I’d appreciate more under different circumstances.
I move slowly, trying to close the door quietly, but when it clicks loudly through the silence, Ayden turns to see me. Whoops, sprung.
My small smile drops when I notice the angry frown Ayden shoots me before he turns back towards the window.
“Go away, Lexi.” His heated words instantly rip my heart in two.
“Why?” I whisper, fighting back the urge to cry.
“Just go.” His voice is level, calm, and void of emotion. Nothing like the Ayden, I know.
I move forward to the other side of the room by the window to see his face. Bad idea.
“Fuck, Lexi! Can’t you just do what I ask and fucking go?” Ayden sits up, fury contorting his normally friendly face.
“I don’t understand. I was worried about you. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Right well, what’s the diagnosis then, hey? Do you think I’m okay?”
His bitter tone is a slap in the face and sounds nothing like the boy who only yesterday whispered his loving feelings in my ear. Tears I try to hold back spring from my eyes, showing my vulnerability.
“You asked me to tell you if I ever needed space, so listen carefully because I’m not going to repeat myself. I fucking want space Lexi! Get the fuck out!” Ayden roars, his face red, spittle flying from his mouth.
The bedroom door flies open, smashing against the wall, and rough hands pull me out so quickly that it takes me a few moments to realise that it’s Andrea’s hands on me.
“God damn it, Lexi, I asked you to stay in Ayden’s bedroom.”
I look from the door that now hides Ayden behind it to Andrea’s angry face.
“I’m s-sorry; I just n-needed to s-see if he was o-okay.” I’m a stuttering sobbing mess once again. I hate this weakness and vulnerability that I had felt so safe revealing in this apartment only yesterday. Now, it’s not welcome. Now I’m not welcome.
The sound of glass smashing comes from the bedroom, and Andrea pushes me aside and rushes into the room with Ayden, slamming the door shut.
Ayden is yelling. He’s in a rage. More things are breaking.
I run to Ayden’s bedroom, knowing the only thing I can do for him, for his parents, is to leave. They have their own shit to deal with, and so do I.
As I throw my clothes in my bag, I think back over the last couple of weeks. Everything has spiralled since Tasha’s party and my decision to smoke weed. I still can’t believe I broke into the school and helped Travis trash it. Now he’s being held by the police while I roam free.
Maybe I should have turned myself in on Tuesday night after Travis filled in the blanks for me. Then I could have stopped myself from acting like a slut and sending mixed messages to poor Nathan. Maybe I would h
ave been locked up, and the other bad things with Mike would never have happened.
That’s not right, though. Mike attacking my mum had nothing to do with me. I didn’t cause that, he did. Maybe I went over the top when I sprung my dad with that whore in the restaurant. If I hadn’t of ran off on him, if I had of stayed and talked things out with him, would things have turned out differently?
They might have in the way that my dad probably wouldn’t have gone to extreme measures to punish me, which still seems so over the top. Something more is going on with him, and I can’t even begin to know what it is.
Mike. The stuff with Mike still would have happened. Maybe not the way it did and when it did, but it would have happened eventually. He would have figured out a way to get the lock off my bedroom door. He would have found a way in.
My secret is out now. The whole of Australia knows about what I was dealing with at home. Everyone knows that my own brother assaulted me, tried to molest me. There’s no point in hiding it. There’s no point in hiding myself anymore.
I’m tainted. Stained. Damaged goods that is far from the perfect persona I tricked everyone with for so long. There’s no point in hiding it now. Everyone will see the real me from now on, and if they don’t like it, they can stay the fuck out of my way!
Taking off Ayden’s hoodie, I lay it flat across the end of his bed and try to remain strong, but fail. For the briefest time, I thought I could be normal, have something normal. I honestly fooled myself into thinking what Ayden and I had was real. I was wrong.
My sobs are loud, and I can’t contain them. The pain in my heart is blinding, and I’m sure death would be less painful. I turn back to look at Ayden’s bedroom one last time before running through the apartment.
On my way out, I toss the cash on the table that Andrea had lent me, not wanting to owe her anything else. These people have suffered enough because of me. I will not repay them by bringing more pain into their lives. I hear the agonised tenor of Ayden’s voice as Andrea tries to help him while I make my way to the entrance.
Heavy (Heavy Hearts Book 1) Page 29