by Megan Noelle
He had yet to move a muscle as he watched me. The way to the dressing room was behind Onyx and he was efficiently blocking my passage. He seemed to be thinking to himself and after another minute of silence I was about to blurt out what his deal was but I didn’t have to. He took a few steps forward, looking down into my face while I looked up to meet him. His hands raised to my shoulders and delicately slid down my arms until my hands were in his.
“You can’t do that to me again, Alexandria.”
Behind those dark eyes were a pained look I hadn’t expected. I anticipated anger and for him to be pissed off and maybe even over me but this was different. Onyx looked hurt above all else and it made my heart burn. It was never my intention to hurt him. Okay—who am I kidding—it must have been. Onyx isn’t just another womanizing fucker at least, I didn’t think so. There was something more meaningful happening between us, of course my disappearance meant something.
Onyx looked me up and down shaking his head slowly back and forth as if he realized just how close to losing me he really was. Gently he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. My eyes slid shut as I let the warmth and comfort from his touch overwhelm my every sense. It was almost unbelievable how much a single touch from him could disarm all my fears and insecurities.
“I’ll meet you outside.” I choked out, needing to be away from him as soon as possible. I pushed past him and made my way down the hall into the changing room without turning back.
I managed to get to my station without many snide remarks and I immediately began getting the outfit off of me. Cherry looked to be putting on the final touch of her look with a coat of lipstick when she saw me struggling.
“Chill, girl.”
I stood still, feeling the corset getting tighter on me just the way it felt like the walls were closing in. I wanted to stop feeling this way but at the same time I was becoming addicted to the sense of meaning something to Onyx. If I shut off all emotions, it would close out that one as well.
Carefully, Cherry got the corset undone allowing me to pull the outfit off freely. I picked up the hanger for it and fumbled with getting it back in place, my mind elsewhere and my fingers not working. Cherry covered her hands over mine to stop me.
“Go smoke, girl. I got this, don’t worry.”
Cherry knew nothing about me except that I needed to smoke. She never asked what was wrong but she could sense when something was. I had always underestimated my friendship with Cherry, until right now. She really did know me as well as one could know me without knowing anything. She gave me a dopey little smile and nodded me off to finish getting dressed.
I whipped on my hoodie and yanked my yoga pants into place. With a quick pat on my sweatshirt pocket I made sure my cigarettes were in there. As I walked outside to meet Onyx I felt my knees wobble like this was my first time using them. I was downright terrified to see Onyx, not that I didn’t trust him but because I did. Every wall I built up and reinforced did nothing to keep out Onyx. It was crucial for me to live my life with Daisy being the one and only priority in my life. The second I lost focus I could lose her for good and I would never be able to live with myself.
But the issue was when it came to Onyx I couldn’t focus on other things. He consumed my thoughts, my actions, and every muscle in my body. How was I ever supposed to do what needed to be done when I had the world’s biggest distraction always waiting in the wings for me? It had been wrong of me to disappear without a word, but this was my chance to part from him the way I should have in the first place.
I made my way outside past Lars, he grunted but I was too dazed to interpret. Breathing in deep and blowing it all out made me feel like one of those LaMaz coaches that spent their lives breathing deeply. What was my problem? I was supposed to be brave, daring, and fearless! Not terrified about talking with someone I simply slept with. I was far from innocent but right now, that was the way I felt.
Turning the corner of the building I saw Onyx’s silhouette leaning the brick in the exact moment of that all-consuming first second kiss. The cherry from his cigarette dimly lit his face in the night. Letting me see that even though he hadn’t moved a muscle, he was still watching. My fingers shook as I pulled out a smoke from my own pack and held it between my lips.
I fumbled with my lighter suddenly unable to figure out how to work this stupid thing. If I had been watching this play out in a theater I would have left. Immediately. This chick was a complete and utter moron that didn’t deserve this fine ass man. Alas, it wasn’t a movie, it was my life and I had to face it. My legs were moving me mindlessly until I was standing directly in front of Onyx. My fingers still fumbling foolishly with my lighter like I was a damn preteen girl trying to look cool.
I hardly noticed Onyx move but out of nowhere I heard the sound of a match striking against the box. It ignited into a mesmerizing orange and blue flame that danced between us. He cupped his hand around it to keep the wind from blowing it out, holding it up for me. As I inhaled and puffed out I met his eyes for the first time. Those penetrating brown eyes had never faltered from my face and instantly the nerves in my stomach moved to my chest, making my heart beat out of control.
After a few silent drags and eye contact that deserved an award. I finally worked up the courage to speak.
“How did you know I was going to be here tonight?”
“I didn’t know. I’ve been coming here every damn night to catch you.”
A knot caught in my throat my stomach became queasy at the admission. “Why?”
“Why else, love? I need to see you and be around you. Why does it always surprise you that someone cares for you?”
I narrowed my eyes, channeling the cold-hearted bitch I used to be. “You don’t even know me. How could you care for me? I care for myself first and I suggest you do the same.”
Onyx watched my mini rant without saying a word. The way he regarded me was like a parent patiently waiting for their toddler to quit their pointless tantrum.
“I know you, Alexandria. You are a woman with a tough past. You saw the cruelty of the world before most have even stepped out into the world alone. I can see in those breathtaking eyes of yours all that terrifies you and that incredible strength you conjure up every single day. There is something about you that is keeping me from giving up and walking away. I had to come back for you, love. Whether you understand that tonight, tomorrow, or even a few months from now just remember it. And I despise the fact that you’re going to spend the next few hours now grinding your ass over other men’s dicks. That you’ll be the epitome of their every fantasy. I want you to leave with me right now. I hate you in this place.”
“I need the money, Onyx. It’s just a job.”
“Doesn’t make me hate it any less.”
“Well, you don’t have to come back in there with me.”
He flicked his cigarette into the oblivion and cupped my face in his hands. “Have you not been listening to me, love? I need to be near you. When you leave tonight it will be with me. Although it will kill me I am going to stay in there the rest of the night with you. I’ll just sit at the bar but if I think anyone is going too far I am going to intervene. Maurizio doesn’t scare me in the least so his threat for me to mind my manners was ineffective.”
I let my cigarette drop to the ground as I pressed my cheek deeper into his hand. My fingers pressed against his stomach and slowly made their ascent to his shoulders.
“Thank you for caring about me. You know, I came here not wanting to see you at all. I wanted to run from you because well, the reason isn’t important. But here we are now and it feels like everything I did to forget you was pointless because now I can see there is no forgetting.”
“I will ask you that reason later tonight but you’re right, love. It is impossible to forget me because I refuse to let you.”
He leaned his face closer and gently pressed his lips to mine. The touch spread like wildfire through my veins with the tender but promising kiss. Whatever O
nyx saw in me is what I saw in him. It was the reason that despite all my attempts to cut him out—it just wasn’t possible. He pulled away from our short, sweet kiss with a smile that erased all worry from his eyes.
“Much better.” He said, making me return the grin.
“Shall we? Tables are waiting to be danced on.” I joked, motioning my hand to lead the way.
Onyx nodded, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together. The warmth from his hand, the sensation of his protective touch and the realization that I was here next to him again filled me with indescribable joy. The past few torturous days had been for nothing because the more I spent time with Onyx, the more time I wanted to spend with him.
We made our way inside, past the quizzical look from Lars, down the hallway that included many stops where we couldn’t keep our hands or mouths off each other, until we reached the door of the dressing room. Onyx had his arms locked tightly around my waist and every time I pulled against him, the grip grew tighter. I couldn’t stop the rich bubbling laughter as we played a light game of tug-of-war. It had been far too long since I was last able to play around with a sexy male, let alone flirt with one. But even with having years off from all of this I found myself craving it, absorbed in it. Every touch was a thrill, behind every smile was the promise of another and goodbye—even for a few hours—was excruciating.
I hated most everyone in relationships for these same reasons, but I was so lost in Onyx that none of that shit mattered anymore. He pressed a kiss to each of my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my lips, forehead and neck before the throat clearing cough made us stop. I turned to look behind me and saw Cherry staring back with a Cheshire grin in place.
“Not a word.” I said to her.
She threw up her hands in a defenseless manner. “I won’t say a thing.”
I nodded to her, placed one last kiss to Onyx’s soft lips and bolted back into the room. The only way to leave with him was to make this night end as soon as humanely possible. Let me just say, I had never been more excited to dance on tables as I was tonight. The sooner I started—the sooner I’d have Onyx back.
Over the next few hours I danced, shimmied, shook my ass, and twirled my hips. On tables, the stage, up and down the pole. Anything that was asked of me I did and anytime I performed anything I always made sure I had a view on Onyx. His were the only eyes I would meet and the only ones I cared to see. My stomach lurched every time I thought of someone requesting a private dance with me. I’d have no choice but to do it but it was Onyx that was getting me through this night. It took every bit of self-restraint I had to not go sit in his lap, press my head under his chin and curl into the warmth and safety within him.
Then again, immediately after my vision of cuddling nicely together, I pictured him fucking me all over this club. On the bars, the tables, the catwalk of course, but the place that really made my pussy drip was to think of Onyx pounding into me while I held onto the pole for dear life. Every time after my vision when I looked at him I couldn’t hide the wicked smile that showed I was harboring a dirty little secret. That mischievous smirk I got in return made me even more excited for the night here to end so the real fun could begin.
Cherry had the last dance of the night on stage and just as I was getting ready to race from the room into Onyx’s arms, Cherry stopped me. An amused, mysterious ghost of a smile lit her face and I knew whatever she had in mind, I should be afraid of.
“Dance with me.”
My head was shaking the second the words were off her lips. “No way in hell, I gotta go.”
“Oh c’mon that sexy older man will still be waiting for you after this. Think of all the tips we’ll get. I’ll split them in half with you.”
“I don’t know, Cherry.”
Just then one of the other dancers stalked up to us with her hands on her hips. Mandi Kaye was one of the worst human beings I had ever met. She was a petite little blonde thing that spent her evenings bragging about all the dudes she has hooked up with. Most of which were her best friends’ boyfriends, or husbands, but she didn’t even bat one of her glued on eyelashes at it. Not to mention she openly hated on me and Cherry to all the other girls so the fact that she was talking to us now only meant trouble.
“Why haven’t you ever asked me to dance with you? I’ll do it right now and share tips with you Cherry.”
“Fat chance in hell.” Cherry scoffed and looked Mandi up and down without sparing judgment.
“And why not? You want a partner, Kandi doesn’t want to do it, and I do.”
“You’re a bitch and not only do I want to get on stage and dance with you. I sure as hell wouldn’t share a dime with you.”
“Besides,” I added in, throwing my arm around Cherry’s shoulders. “I’m dancing with her.”
Mandi made another loud scoff before flipping her hair and stalking back away. I took my arm off Cherry and regretted where I was left immediately. She smirked, realizing the same thing I just had.
“So what do you think, cops and robbers?”
I looked to the outfits she was pointing at. They were both leather, scantily clad, bumped up the cleavage and hugged the ass—they were perfect.
“Fine but I’m going to be the cop since you robbed me of my evening!”
Cherry bumped her hip against mine with a laugh. “Oh don’t be such a baby. You can have your sexy play time later.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. Honestly I was really starting to like this new relationship building between me and her. All along I considered her my closest “friend” but that literally meant, I didn’t hate her. Now I was seeing her as far more and it was almost a relief to have someone else I could confide in. Sort of. It felt surreal that less than a month ago I had me, myself, and I. Now I had Onyx, Cherry, and Kayne. My circle of trust was growing, but I still couldn’t calm the unease deep in my heart. I’ve had a circle of friends betray me before, what’s to say it wouldn’t happen again?
We put on our outfits, got all sexified and then we were ready to go. Cherry picked out the song “Gett Off” by Prince and without rehearsing or coordinating we managed to just about blow the roof off with all the excitement. We’d shimmy on the pole together, me up top pretending to search her on the bottom pretending to hide. Danced and grinded together because what loosens the wallet more than a couple hot chicks getting close? By the time the song was over everyone was on their feet and the catwalk was hardly visible anymore. It looked like it had snowed money and I was beyond excited to shovel up this mess.
Maurizio was waiting backstage and didn’t bother hiding his elated grin.
“That was excellent! I’m gonna make you both do these dances together every night you’re here.”
“Whatever Mau, we’ll talk about it later because I’m all done for this evening.” I gave him a slap on the chest and took off towards the dressing room. This night had been a success, no doubt, and it was nice to get off of Maurizio’s bad side, at least a bit. But now all I wanted was to hop on the back of Onyx’s bike and get back to his place, stat.
I changed out of the outfit and into my clothes, hanging the barely-there dress on a hanger and slipping my shoes back on. Cherry came in with a smile on her face and a wad of cash fanned out as she waved it over her face.
“You’re not even gonna believe how much, girl.”
“It’s a good thing I’m gone till Friday again, at least they’ll have the rest of the week to go make more money to spend. Cherry laughed, split the money in two and handed me my stack.
“What are you gonna spend your half on?”
My first thought went to Daisy it would be something for her I just had to figure out what. Giving a little girl cash for a rainy day wasn’t as fun as a gift but I had to choose something that wasn’t going to be easily noticed by my grandma.
“Something good.” Was the only answer I gave Cherry. Maybe I was finally adding more people to my life, but that didn’t mean I was suddenly going to indulge others with my Daisy se
cret. I had to protect my daughter at all costs and this was just one more way for me to do that.
“Fine girl, going back to being secretive. But I say we listen to Mau and repeat this little performance each night.”
I didn’t hide my shock as I eyed her down. “I’m not even going to respond. I’m just gonna leave here and let you think about the fact that you just gave credit to Maurizio. Good luck sleeping tonight.”
Cherry laughed out as I walked past her. “You’re such a bitch, Kandi.” She said with a smile.
I gave her a parting wink and a wave before I left the dressing room. Maurizio was standing in the hall waiting for me and it looked like he was going blue in the face for holding in whatever he wanted to say. Excitement still danced in his eyes and I could practically see dollar signs in place of his pupils.
“Kandi, let’s talk about this for a minute!”
“Have a good night, Maurizio.”
If I didn’t let Cherry keep me away from Onyx, I sure as shit wasn’t going to let him do it either. I peeked out through the stage and didn’t see Onyx waiting in the bar area. Panic began to set in. What if that dance was just too much for him and now he left my ass? My nerves took over making my legs break into a run through the hallway and out the door. Lars whipped his head around as I burst through the door but when he saw it was me he eased up a bit.
“You okay?” He grunted.
I felt breathless and not from the minimal exercise but from the fear that Onyx was gone. “Did you see that guy come out here that I was talking to earlier?”
“Parking lot.” Lars pointed.
“Thanks!” I called back and darted in the way of his extended finger feeling the weight of question pressing down on me.
I rounded the corner and saw in the far back corner of the parking lot was my guy. Leaning against his bike, arms over his chest and a smirk on his face. A relieving wave rushed over me and a full-fledged smile spread from ear-to-ear. I could hardly believe how emotionally overwhelming it was to see him. Every knot in my shoulders, the tension in my limbs all eased up at the sight of this man. Everything just felt…better.