by Radclyffe
“Look,” Emmett said, “this thing Maguire has us doing is an experiment. Maybe it’s not such a great idea.”
“Thing?” Syd said looking confused, and not helping her out at all.
Emmett ran a hand through her hair, let her arm fall onto the arm of the yellow sofa with a thud. “Putting the two of us together on the trauma service. Trauma isn’t like most other services—it’s not predictable. We can’t look at the OR schedule at the beginning of the day and divvy things up or even talk about how to divvy things up. We have to take things as they come, in the moment.”
“I get how trauma works, Emmett,” Syd said just a little bit impatiently. “So?”
“So,” Emmett said, “sometimes there’s no time to discuss anything. We just have to do what needs to be done.”
“I know this, Emmett. I’m not arguing it.”
Emmett didn’t usually have such a hard time expressing herself. Why was she walking on verbal eggshells with Syd? It wasn’t as if Syd could just up and walk out on her. Her chest tightened. She could, though, couldn’t she. Had done. Poof. Gone.
Emmett stomped out those thoughts. That was over and done. “So then you get why Honor handed that pericardial window off to me, right? I’m the senior on the service.”
“Oh,” Syd said dryly, “I know.”
Emmett pointed a finger. “See there? I know what you’re thinking.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Oh, yeah, I do. You think Honor was playing favorites.”
Syd half smiled. She had wondered if Honor Blake choosing Emmett to do the procedure had something more to do with the fact that Emmett appeared to be everybody’s darling, and not just her being the senior resident. But she couldn’t say it, couldn’t complain about it. Certainly not now, and not to Emmett. They needed to get through the next month or however long this torture was going to last with the least amount of drama. She had no standing at PMC, and she couldn’t be seen as a troublemaker.
“Look, it’s not a big deal,” Syd said.
“Honor wouldn’t do that,” Emmett insisted.
“Maybe not consciously.” Syd sighed. “And so what if she did? It’s an attending’s prerogative to do what they want with residents, and they all do it all the time. When they don’t want to worry about a patient at night, they discuss it with the residents they trust the most. When they know they’re gonna have a tough case in the OR, they want the resident with the best hands to scrub in with them. And when there’s a tough teaching procedure, they want the resident who isn’t going to screw up in the middle.”
Emmett nodded. “Maybe, some of the time. Sure. But all the good attendings are going to teach whoever’s available, and Honor is one of the best teachers in the place. But seniority always counts for something.”
“Oh, I know that.” Syd paused. She’d been where Emmett was plenty of times—knowing she’d grabbed a case out from under another resident and suffering a fleeting pang of remorse. Fleeting being the operative word. They’d get their chance one day to have the pick of the cases. That’s how the system worked. If you survived long enough, you’d reap the rewards. Emmett had nothing to apologize for. “Don’t worry about it. You can’t help it if you’re the chosen one.”
Emmett gaped. “What?”
Syd grinned, unexpectedly feeling better than she had all morning—except when she was in the middle of the trauma. When had that ever happened? “Well, if the crown fits—”
“Cut it out,” Emmett said indignantly.
Emmett looked…cute. Oh, still attractive and sexy as hell, but some of that unpolished openness Syd remembered about her from their first meeting flashed across Emmett’s face. Syd caught her breath and latched on to a quick change in subject. “What did you mean, that maybe Maguire’s experiment isn’t such a good idea?”
“We’re way too close in experience to be on the same service. We need to be doing the same cases. Plus, it’s a waste of talent.”
Syd laughed. “You couldn’t possibly know anything about my talent, so you must be talking about yourself. God, I don’t remember you being so arrogant.”
Emmett’s heart pounded in her chest. She made sure her voice stayed light and easy. “I was a fourth year medical student. How could I be arrogant about anything? Besides, I didn’t think you remembered anything at all about me.” She should’ve stopped there, but she couldn’t help herself. “I recall you were very talented, though.”
Syd’s face went blank, and Emmett mentally kicked her own ass. Syd had already been clear about the boundaries, even though they didn’t make any sense to Emmett. She was supposed to act like nothing ever happened. That’s what Syd wanted to pretend. Well, she’d never agreed to that.
“Maybe you don’t remember,” Emmett said, not caring about the anger that bled into her voice. “But I do. When we connected, it was like…fireworks. Rockets and firecrackers. Explosive, blinding.”
“Emmett,” Syd said quietly, “it was good sex, and it was a long time ago. Things like that, they die out as fast as those sparklers on the Fourth of July.”
“Maybe.” Emmett wasn’t sure, and she definitely wasn’t ready to believe it. She’d seen Quinn and Honor together plenty of times, just talking. There was heat there, for sure. Enough that she sometimes looked away, feeling a little bit too much like a voyeur, even though they weren’t even touching. That’s what she wanted, maybe, someday, when she was settled. A woman who lit the fireworks in her blood and wanted her to do the same. The only trouble was, only one woman had ever done that, and she’d just disappeared before they’d even had a chance to find out what was happening between them.
Fine then. If Syd wanted things strictly professional, that’s what she’d do.
“I knew how good you were, work-wise,” Emmett said, making a point to stress work, “just from talking with you that first day.”
“You were just psyched about the interview.”
“No. I mean, sure, I was. But that had nothing to do with…the rest.” Emmett smiled, remembering how eager she had been on that first interview, and how cool it was that the resident assigned to take the medical students around the hospital was a surgical resident. A woman resident. Gorgeous and funny and confident. When Syd recounted tales of what her first year had been like so far, Emmett knew Syd was everything she wanted to be. Everything she would be in just a year. By the end of the tour, she and Syd had been deep in conversation while others in the group had wandered off. Somehow phone numbers had been exchanged, a date made for a drink, and a couple of drinks had turned into a night together. One night, all night, had turned into a few more stolen hours. Intense, riveting, consuming. And then…silence.
“I think you might have been too easily impressed,” Syd said lightly, “but I appreciate—”
“Uh, hey, Emmett,” Zoey said from the doorway. “I was about to page you.”
Syd clamped her mouth shut, a veil dropping over her gaze.
Emmett shook herself and straightened up. How the hell long had Zoey been standing there? “What’s up?”
“Fitzpatrick wants a trauma consult,” Zoey said.
“On the kid from this morning?”
“Yeah.” Zoey shrugged. “Abdominal CT shows a splenic tear with a pericapsular hematoma, but no active bleeding. She wants to watch it.”
Syd said, “Sounds like a reasonable plan. Why the consult?”
Zoey glanced her way as if just noticing she was there. “The dad’s a big-shot attorney, and considering the family got T-boned by an out-of-control delivery truck, this is going to be a big-money case. The consult shouldn’t be too challenging.”
Syd pressed her lips together.
“So it’s a CYA consult,” Emmett said.
“Mine is not to question why…” Zoey grinned and leaned against the doorway. “So, you do remember it’s your turn to do dinner tonight? It would be good if you actually made it home so we could eat something besides cereal for a change.”
&nbs
p; Emmett flushed at Syd’s raised brows and narrowed eyes.
Syd rose abruptly. “I’ll page you when I’ve finished the consult.”
“Thanks,” Emmett called as Syd edged past Zoey in the doorway and disappeared. She appreciated Syd taking the consult without her needing to ask. That kind of job always fell to someone below the most senior resident. Which was Emmett. Man, that had to be hard for Syd to swallow.
“Kinda chilly in here,” Zoey said, barely hiding her laughter.
“You enjoying yourself?”
“No, as a matter of fact.” Zoey flopped on the end of the sofa. “I’m sick of peds already.”
“So you decided to stir things up on my service?”
“Hey! I had a legitimate request.”
“Since when have you cared about the dinner schedule?” Emmett said.
Zoey tapped her foot on the edge of the coffee table. “So what’s the story with her?”
“No story.” Emmett couldn’t tell who she was angry at—Syd for dismissing the past as if it had never happened, Zoey for trying to dredge it up, or herself for caring. “No story at all.”
* * *
When someone dropped into a chair next to Syd at the peds ICU nurses’ station, she expected it to be Zoey. Steeling herself for another subtly unpleasant conversation, she glanced up from the tablet where she’d been reviewing the child’s CT scans, and her spirits rose. Smiling, she said to Dani, “Hey! How’s it going?”
Dani took a quick look around and leaned in. “Weird. How about with you?”
Syd blew out a breath. “I vacillate between feeling like I’ve been dropped into a foreign country and having a really great time. The trauma alert this morning was…wild.”
“I got a quick look at what you were doing,” Dani said with a sigh. “Holy frick, you really lucked out. All I got was a watch-and-wait on my kid. Are you here seeing him?”
“Yes. I was just waiting for the repeat CT to finish the consult.”
Dani waved a hand. “He’s been stable. It’s not going to show anything.”
“Probably, but all the same, I ought to see it. So how’s your day going?”
“Oh, just great.” Dani made a face. “Both my junior residents are annoying. In fact, Sadie is downright obnoxious.”
Syd frowned. “Sadie. She the redhead who was so bent about us being here this morning? Short, cute, and bitchy?”
Dani snorted. “That’s a really nice way of putting it, but yeah. It helps that Zoey and Sadie don’t seem to be crazy about each other. Sadie has someone else to snarl at some of the time.” Dani cocked her head. “What?”
“Nothing,” Syd said quickly.
“No, something. What? Come on, we need to stick together here.”
“Zoey made a point of telling me I had taken her place on the trauma service. And she and Emmett are a thing.”
“Really?” Dani’s eyes gleamed. “Huh.”
“Yes, well, they live together, and—” Syd stopped short of sharing the part about seeing Emmett and Zoey in the on-call room together, annoyed she was the teeniest bit bothered by that. She’d very successfully refused to think about Emmett for years and now she could barely stop. “Anyhow, they’re tight. So I guess we’ll just have to put up with the snark.”
“Homicide is out of the question?”
Syd laughed. “I’d save that for extreme situations.”
“They might have split us up,” Dani said, “but it’s still going to be us and them.”
“No matter what, you, me, and Jerry are still a team.” Syd squeezed Dani’s arm. “Have you seen him?”
“No,” Dani said, “but he’s on general surgery. He’s probably getting a lot more surgery than I am right now.”
“Don’t worry, it will come.”
“Yeah, at least I get the pick of cases on peds.” Dani grimaced. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to rub it in.”
“Oh, I know.”
“How’s your senior resident?” Dani said, putting a sarcastic spin to the word senior.
“Emmett? She’s fine.” Syd rose. She did not want to think or talk about Emmett McCabe. “I’ll wrap up this consult when the repeat CT is done.”
“Hey, you okay?” Dani asked.
“What? Oh, sure. I’m fine.” Syd was too weary to even complain. Not tired, just weary. The day already felt like it was thirty-six hours long instead of eight and four more to go before she could get out of there, if she was lucky. Trying to fit in at a new place on the fly and being faced with Emmett at every turn took all her energy. The last thing she wanted was to think about the past. Emmett had been part of a time she’d worked to forget every day for the past five years.
Chapter Eleven
“Hey,” Honor said when Quinn walked into the bathroom at a little after six, “you’re home early.”
“You too. Did you take Jack over already?”
Honor kissed her. “Yep. Linda has a split shift, and Robin was planning to feed the kids early so they could all watch Brave.”
“Oh my God—again?” Quinn threaded her arms around Honor’s waist and burrowed her face in Honor’s damp hair. “Mmm, you smell good.” She kissed her neck and started peeling off her clothes one-handed.
Honor laughed and arched her back, giving Quinn better access to her throat. “Got something in mind?”
“Shower.” Quinn kissed her way down to Honor’s breasts. “I was hoping for company, but you didn’t wait for me.”
“You didn’t tell me you were on your way or I would have.”
“I wasn’t sure what time I’d get finished with that last case. Turned out to be easier than I thought.”
“Just as well. We’re not all that good about making quickies quick.”
“True.”
Honor kissed her and pushed her toward the shower. “How did everyone take the big announcement this morning?”
Quinn turned the shower on hot and stepped in. She left the door partway open. “Better than expected. No bodies have turned up yet. What did you think during the alert this morning?”
“Everyone stepped up. Really, it went as well as I could’ve hoped for,” Honor said. “The new residents, at least the ones on trauma and peds surg, seemed very solid. Syd Stevens certainly is calm in an emergency.”
“She was doing the burr holes.” Quinn’s eyes were closed and water streamed down her face and chest. Her shoulders and arms were finely muscled, her breasts the perfect size for holding.
Honor leaned against the vanity, enjoying the view. How was it she had seen this woman naked hundreds of times, and still she could catch a glimpse when she least expected it, and her heart would lurch. Right this instant, she could be quick. She stole a peek at the time. Damn it, they really didn’t have time.
“Of course not,” Honor muttered.
Quinn flung her head back, clearing the water from her hair. “Sorry? I missed that.”
“Oh…” Honor unscrambled her brain. “I talked to Kos later in the morning about the neuro patient. He’s stable, by the way. Anyhow, Kos was very impressed with Stevens. I think he might try to seduce her into neuro.”
Quinn laughed. “Kos is always looking for the best residents to steal for neuro.”
“Is she?” Reluctantly, Honor started to dress. No point torturing herself with what could have been. She smiled. Quinn had promised later. Still plenty of time for later. “Stevens. Is she one of the best?”
“All signs point that way.”
“So we’re going to be top-heavy for a few years. Emmett did a great job too.”
Quinn flipped the dials off and stepped out, blindly reaching for a towel. Honor handed her one, and she briskly dried her hair and face. “Emmett always does a good job.”
“You know,” Honor said, grabbing a robe off the back of the door and replacing Quinn’s towel, “it might be a good idea to plan some kind of get-together soon. Let the new residents get acquainted with everyone in a non-work situation. Might help with the in
tegration.”
“We’ve got the barbecue coming up like usual when the new interns arrive.” Quinn pulled on the robe and cocked her head when Honor didn’t answer. “What?”
Heat climbed up Honor’s throat. “I was just thinking…”
Quinn moved closer, penning her in against the vanity. Her robe was open, her bare body firm and hot.
“Quinn,” Honor warned.
“Yes?”
“We—”
A sharp rap on the door preceded Arly calling, “Hey, you guys. We have to go soon.”
Quinn closed her eyes and groaned softly.
“Okay, honey,” Honor called back. “We’ll be ready.” She turned Quinn around and gave a little shove. “Dress. Anyhow…about the residents. By the time the new first years arrive, all these residents have to be ready to work together. Right now they’re strangers.”
Quinn tied the robe. “So what are you thinking?”
“Maybe some kind of reception once a bit of the dust settles.” Honor walked into the bedroom. “Hors d’oeuvres, drinks, a chance for people to walk around and talk to each other.”
“All right,” Quinn said, following. “I’ll see if I can come up with some money for that. Just promise me you’ll be there so I don’t have to stand around by myself.”
“I promise to rescue you.” Honor laughed. Quinn was the last person to ever need rescuing from anything, but she liked knowing Quinn needed her. “So, do I need to worry about tonight?”
Quinn pulled on jeans and paused before zipping them up. “You mean Arly’s test? No way. She’s gonna be great.”
“You’ll look out for her, right?” Honor said quietly.
“Of course.” Quinn kissed her. “Don’t worry, Mom. She’s going to be fine.”
Honor sighed. “I know. Just promise me there won’t be blood.”
Quinn laughed. “It’s Arly, baby. I can’t promise that.”
* * *
Visiting hours ended at eight and the halls were quiet at a little after seven when Syd made her way on night rounds. Her last stop was trauma ICU. The ICUs allowed brief visits on the hour, and a few people usually waited in the family area for the next chance to spend a few minutes with a patient, but as the day wore on into night, families and friends left to go home and shower, grab a meal, or just take a much-needed break before returning to their vigils. No one appeared to be waiting as Syd slipped into the ICU. The lights had been turned down and the staff moved almost silently between the cubicles, the only sounds coming from the hissing ventilators and the beeping monitors. Far from being calm, the atmosphere always seemed a little charged, as if a storm might break out at any moment. Syd nodded to the occasional nurse or PA who glanced her way before going back to whatever they were doing. Her ID badge proclaimed her legitimacy, but since she wasn’t on call and no one had paged her, making introductions was pointless. That would come in the middle of a crisis, when so many connections seemed to be forged.