He takes a deep breath and my own heart swells hearing the shakiness it contains as he lets it out.
God, what did I ever do to deserve this precious man?
He grabs my hands in his free one, kissing my knuckles, then captures my eyes with his. “I love you. I love you so damn much, Ellie, I don’t know what to do with it all sometimes. I wish there was a way I could show you how much, let you feel it. But you’re just gonna have to believe me when I say you’re my everything, my whole world. Loving you, being loved by you, is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’ve made me a better man. You’ve made me wiser, shown me what love really is and what life should be. You’re my home and my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life making you smile, keeping you happy, and doing everything within my power to deserve you.”
He lets my hands go and pulls the box open, it creaks like they all do, and through my tears I see the first ring we picked out at Pearly’s, sparkling up at me from its pillow of black velvet.
“Marry me, Bird? Make me the happiest man to ever live.”
“Yes,” I sob. “Yes, yes, yes.” I throw my arms around him again and cry like a baby.
Wrapping me up tight, he whispers sweet things to me as he kisses my head all over. Then he stands up, keeping me close and works his way to the swing and sets us down.
“You said yes,” he says, proud as a peacock.
I laugh through my tears. “Did you think for one second I wouldn’t, silly?”
“No, I was pretty confident, but did I do okay?”
I pull myself together for him, wiping off my tears and letting him see how happy I am. “You did much more than okay. It was perfect. You’re perfect.”
He holds the ring up. “Do you like it?”
The tremor of fear in his voice hurts my heart.
I take his face in my hands and stroke his cheeks. “I love it, baby. I love you.”
His distress vanishes, his sweet smile back in place as he leans his forehead against mine. “I love you too, so fucking much. I’m glad you like the ring cause I never even considered any of the others. After putting it on you at the store, I knew then it was the right one. I just felt it, you know?”
I kiss his adorable face, lingering at his soft lips. “I do. You did good, baby. You did so good.”
“How about I put it on you?” he asks, his inner boy shining through again.
“Please,” I whisper.
I hold my hand out for him, and it shakes like a leaf, making both of us laugh until he starts to slide the ring on my finger. We both go quiet, too choked up to speak.
As he slips it into place, tight against my knuckle, a wave of emotion rushes through me and grips my heart. I’m falling and flying all at once. I never imagined a happiness this dreamy could possibly exist, especially not for me, but it does. Unbelievably, it does.
We look up at each other at the same time, both of us crying, so full it’s just not possible to hold it all in. Then we’re smiling and laughing as we kiss and kiss some more.
Eventually our joy turns to passion and our clothes fall away. He makes love to me on the swing, surrounded by all those gorgeous flowers smelling so sweet, and it’s the most beautiful experience of my life. There are no ghosts or sad thoughts trying to pull me away from him, there’s only us, surrounded by peace and love.
I am blessed beyond measure.
THANK YOU
~
Nik
It’s a perfect Saturday evening in late November. The air is cooler, and you can finally smell fall on the wind. It comes in late way down here. The marsh grasses and live oak leaves are rustling while fluffy clouds slowly drift overhead. Sunset’s a little over two hours away.
Our wedding is only one.
I’m marrying the love of my life tonight. Eight months and twelve days from the first time I laid eyes on her.
That day feels like a lifetime ago, but just like yesterday too. I knew then, after seeing those big beautiful eyes filled with so much sadness staring up at me, that I would never be the same. I have no doubt that feeling will hit me again very soon. I can already feel it. It’s been bubbling in my chest since Leia forced me from Ellie’s side last night. Sister dear doesn’t know it yet, but she’s got one hell of a payback coming her way.
I hardly slept at all away from Ellie. The bed wasn’t right. It was too cold and big. Too empty.
But regardless of my shitty night, that inkling of life-altering awareness was even stronger when I woke up this morning.
I’m ready though. I’ve never been more ready for anything than I am for this.
We’re getting married. Married. I’m going to be her husband and she’ll be…
My wife.
“Leia still had her way, huh?” Cash laughs, clapping me on the back.
I huff and roll my eyes. “Doesn’t she always?”
He just nods and laughs.
“Brandon being here did not help. We managed to keep them on somewhat of a leash though. It’s not too much, right?”
He surveys our backyard. It’s set up with small rows of folding chairs made from dark wood. I insisted no metal or plastic. Ellie insisted no white. There’s big canvas umbrellas set out just in case the heat rises or a shower decides to fall on us. The dance floor and the tent over it are ready to go and the string quartet Leia booked without our knowledge is already playing.
If I’m not mistaken, it sounds like “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin. I’m going to have to go over there and ask them to play it again later, it’s a beautiful version. It’d be perfect for me and Bird to dance to. The huge live oak we’ll say our vows under is all decked out, draped with flowing ivory fabric and its branches covered with twinkling lights. All the trees around the yard and the ones lining the driveway have lights now too. That’s the one thing I went wild on.
Cash and I worked for hours wrapping lights around the “vow” tree. I was so fucking done with it by the time we finished that I swore we would never have Christmas lights on anything ever again until I flipped the switch.
She cried. Of course, she cried.
Her hands balled up under her chin, bottom lip trapped in her teeth, her blue eyes sparkling as she stared in wonder. Then she smiled at me – it was that smile – with two tears sliding from her crinkled eyes before running and throwing herself in my arms.
All the frustration, sweat, cuts and scrapes vanished from my memory. All that and ten times more would be worth making her that happy.
I hired a crew the next morning and bought what had to be every box of twinkle lights in the southeast. When the sun sets tonight, this place will look like a fairytale. I imagine the ships thirty miles out to sea will be able to spot us we’ll be glowing so bright.
But my bride will be the happiest girl on earth.
“It’s not too much. It is giving Josie ideas though,” Cash says, breaking me out of my dreaming.
“Oops. Sorry about that.” I wink letting him know I’m not sorry at all.
“It’s all right. I kinda like those ideas.”
I stare at him in fake shock. I’ve seen it coming for weeks now. “You? That poor girl.”
“Fuck you, fucker, and stop looking at me like that,” he growls, jabbing a beefy fist my way. I dodge it, biting my cheek so I don’t laugh.
I pull him into a big hug instead. “I couldn’t be happier for you, man. She’s a great girl and there’s nothing like it when you find the right one. Hang on to her and never let go.”
“I’m gonna do my best,” he says, hugging me tight for a few seconds then pushing me away to straighten my jacket and tie back up, dusting off lint that isn’t there. “You looking sharp tonight, bro. Not as sharp as me, but… You ready for this?”
“I couldn’t be more ready if I tried. It can’t happen fast enough. I haven’t seen her since last night. I feel like I’m going crazy. Did you give her my letter?”
He laughs at me. “I gave it to Brandon. He’ll give it to her when
it’s time. Don’t worry.”
“So, I guess you didn’t see her?”
“Nah, I knew it’d chap your ass if I saw her first.”
“I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”
“I try,” he boasts. “All right, I think I’m supposed to help folks park, you gonna…”
“Professor Jensen?”
We both look behind him and see Casey, our photographer. She’s one of the best photography students at SCAD. She did a great job with our engagement photos.
“Hey, Casey. Guess you’re ready for me?”
“Yes, sir, and Mr. Griffin too, please. Oh! Which one of you has the ring?”
I slip my hand out of my pocket and wiggle my pinkie at her, Ellie’s wedding band sparkles in the fading sunlight where sits snug between my first two knuckles. She has the tiniest fingers.
“Oh good. I wanna get some pictures of you with it. Y’all ready?”
“Yep, lead the way.”
~
Ellie
“There, you’re perfect,” Leia declares, fluffing my dress one more time.
It’s not really a dress that needs fluffing, but I think she keeps doing it hoping it’ll change. The first time I tried it on in front of her I could literally see her choking on a sarcastic remark, but, bless her, she managed to only say nice things.
We’re getting married in our backyard, with only a handful of people. We wanted sweet and simple and my dress reflects that. There’s no lace, beads or sequins, just light gauzy fabric in a soft ivory. It does have a plunging neckline and shows off my girls nicely but, according to Leia, I could probably be on the cover of a bodice ripper set in the early eighteen hundreds. Her words, if I remember correctly, were, “romantic peasant.”
She did insist I at least have on sexy lingerie. I relented and found a beautiful lace set. Though the panties are so barely there I’m not sure you could even consider them anything, let alone part of a set. But Nik will love seeing them on me, then tearing them off me too.
Wearing them meant I had to make a visit to the spa though. Leia loved that. She booked most of this morning for the four of us. We’ve all been massaged, buffed, waxed, and polished to perfection. Other than the waxing, it was a great way to calm my excited nerves.
She wanted my hair up, but I said no, it was too fancy, so Brandon did a loose side braid for me. My makeup is clean and simple too, I only let her do a light smokey eye. And much to her horror, I’ll be barefoot during the ceremony. Walking in heels isn’t my favorite, especially not in grass. I do have shoes, but those I’ll save for the beautiful dance floor Nik rented for us.
“Girl, that man is gonna fall out right in front of everyone when he sees you.”
“Oh gosh, Brandon, I hope he doesn’t.”
“He won’t, sweetie, but he probably is gonna cry,” Anna says with a wink.
“If he cries, I’ll fall to pieces.”
“Why do you think I used waterproof makeup? Both of you will be blubbering messes. I wasn’t risking my work that way.”
I can’t help but grin. “Thank you, Leia. You really have thought of everything.”
“Of course, I did.”
Anna, Brandon and I all roll our eyes, then get the giggles, much to Leia’s annoyance.
She has been a holy terror all week. Everyone’s been calling her Bridezilla. But she’s helped make this day amazing down to the very last detail and she’s done it for us so I can’t be angry with her.
I take her hands and give them a good squeeze, I’d rather give her a big hug, but she’d go apocalyptic on me for risking our perfection. “I mean it, Leia, and I know I said it this morning, but you’ve done a fabulous job and I know all your hard work will make our day even more special. We love you for it, so much.”
“You’re welcome.” She squeezes my hands then quickly pulls away turning her back to us, feigning a need to sort through the makeup scattered all over the dresser.
Anna, Brandon, and I share a knowing smile.
“All of you look gorgeous by the way,” I tell them.
They’re all in a weathered stone color, a shade darker than my dress, but lighter than Nik’s suit. Leia brought all of them from London, and a seamstress too. Brandon’s suit is tailored to fit him to a tee. He was thrilled to learn it’s his to keep and not a rental. Leia and Anna are both in dresses, but they’re cut very different from each other. Leia’s fits her lithe body like a second skin, while Anna’s is flowy and romantic, with an empire waist. Cash’s suit matches Brandon’s, but they have different shirts and ties. I can’t wait to see pictures of us all together.
“Oh shit!” Brandon fusses, digging in his jacket pocket. “I almost forgot. That hunk of lumberjack gave me this to give you.” He holds out a small creamy envelope.
My name is written across it in Nik’s elegant handwriting. it’s the artist in him I guess. My heart skitters against my ribs as I open it. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed him.
Hey Bird,
Are you going as crazy as I am? I miss you so much. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I’ve almost come up there a dozen times to get you. I can’t wait to see you in your dress. I already know you’re gonna take my breath away. Don’t be surprised if I cry. It’s only one more hour before you meet me under our tree. I’ll have loved you for six thousand, one hundred and thirty-two hours by then. Yes, I counted, and that sounds like a lot, but it’s not nearly long enough – barely a blink really – but each one of those hours has been the best I’ve ever had. You’re my best friend, my lover, and my other half. I swear I couldn’t love you more than I already do, but I know when I wake up tomorrow morning and see you, my wife, beside me, I will. I can’t wait to start our forever, Bird. I’ll see you soon.
I love you
-N
“No, you don’t! Dry it up, right now,” Leia hisses at me, way too late. A handkerchief materializes out of thin air and she starts dabbing at my face as I leak everywhere. “I’m gonna kick his ass for making you cry.”
“You will not! He’s the sweetest man alive, I don’t know how he’s related to you.”
“Yeah, yeah, Leia’s the bitch and Nik’s the sweetheart. I’ve heard it all my life. What else you got?”
“Y’all will be the best husband and sister anyone could ever want?”
She stops dabbing and stares at me. “Stop that. I don’t have time to redo both of us. Do you hear me?”
I shove his note at her and whine, “I’m trying, but you read that and tell me you wouldn’t cry.”
She takes it from me and quickly reads it, then hands it back before lifting up my dress and looking under it.
I slap her hand away. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for my brother’s balls. You gotta be keeping them somewhere.”
Oh, she’s asking for it this time.
I give her a slow smile. “I assure you they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be, right under his…”
“STOP. No more. I do not need anymore details of my brother’s dirty bits.”
“I do,” Brandon says enthusiastically.
“Yeah, come on, Ellie. I wanna hear some more dirty details,” Anna chimes in.
“Okay, let me think. Ooooohh, there was this one time he… God, it made me weak. He…”
Leia hightails it out the door bitching the whole way as we cackle at her. Bless her. We’ve been picking on her mercilessly all week with stories of mine and Nik’s sex life to get back at her for being such a terror. We’re terrible people.
~
Casey came and got us soon after and took tons of pictures of us, together and apart. Nik and I will do ours right after the ceremony.
Which started a few minutes ago.
I’m hiding behind one of the big camellia bushes near the back porch. Peeking through the thick leaves, I can see Cash standing by Nik’s side. Anna and Leia are slowly making their way to them while the quartet plays Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars,” and
it’s almost Brandon’s turn to go.
I could’ve had him walk me down the aisle, but I didn’t need anyone to give me away. I’ve been Nik’s for awhile now, we’re just making it official.
“All right, it’s my turn. You gonna be okay?” Brandon whispers.
“Yeah, I’m more than okay, hon. You go on.”
And it’s the truth. I’m calm as a cucumber. Well, I’m excited, but I’m not the least bit nervous, or scared. I don’t feel an ounce of uncertainty either. I’m just happy, deliriously happy.
He smiles, then gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and heads that way.
I wait for the music to change, wiggling my toes in the lush carpet of St. Augustine that covers our yard. It’s cool and cushy under my feet.
Finally, the gentle notes of Coldplay’s “Yellow” drift to me so I come out from my hiding place and set my eyes on Nik. Everyone and everything vanishes except for him as soon as I take my first step. I’m still too far away from him to see his eyes, but there’s no way to miss his smile as he watches me. My heart’s so full my chest may explode. He’s heart-stopping in his suit. It feels like prom night and his proposal all over again only times a million. I can’t believe in less than thirty minutes that amazing man will be my husband. I want to run to him, but keep my slow pace, barely.
He’s wiping tears away when I make it to him, his smile the most precious I’ve ever seen. I’m doing all I can not to let my tears turn into big ugly sobs even though I’m smiling too. Going off script he takes my face in his hands and pulls us together peppering my lips with kisses as he whispers to me. “God, I’ve missed you. You’re so beautiful.”
“I missed you too, baby.”
There’s soft laughter coming from all around us and then someone clears their throat, breaking through our lovesick bubble.
Nik pulls away, mouthing ‘I love you.’ As soon as I mouth it back he reluctantly lets me go, but he’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
“I believe that was supposed to come last,” the preacher picks at him, holding back laughter.
Heal Me (Magnolia Series Book 2) Page 23