Until now, he’d forgotten about the boots. It made him realize again just how much he’d taken Nellie for granted. True, she’d only been well for a couple of days, but getting her boots that fit, particularly in this weather, should have been a priority.
Luke skated over to her. “Why don’t you have skates?”
“I don’t know how.” Nellie shook her head. “It’s easier for me to help the children in normal shoes, because otherwise, we’d all be falling over each other.”
Amos skated past them, looking happier than Luke had seen him in a long time. Ruby followed, laughing like she didn’t have a care in the world.
How had he gotten so wrapped up in his grief that he’d forgotten what joys his children could be?
“Get some skates,” Luke said. “I’ll help you.”
Pink tinged Nellie’s cheeks, partially from the cold, but he suspected also partially because she wasn’t used to him paying her personal attention. Their conversations were always about the children, the house and their plans.
“You deserve to have fun, too.”
“I am having fun,” she said, smiling. “I’m having the most wonderful time I’ve had since coming here.”
“You’ll have even more fun on skates.”
Nellie went to the small hut where they had the skates. He hovered close enough to hear them talk about Nellie’s shoe size. Luke hadn’t thought about a Christmas gift for Nellie, and he wasn’t sure he’d wait until Christmas to give them to her, but first thing tomorrow, he’d buy her a pair of boots that fit.
Once they got Nellie a pair of skates, Luke helped her onto the ice. She wobbled as he held her upright.
“You can do it. Just like you were telling the children.”
Amos skated up to them. “Let me show you!”
He demonstrated the motion, which Nellie copied as Luke held her steady. After a few turns around the ice, Luke didn’t need to hold her as tightly, but he found, with Nellie’s infectious smile and laughter, he didn’t want to let her go.
“This is more fun with skates,” Nellie said. The smile filling her face lit her eyes, and Luke couldn’t say he’d ever seen her looking prettier.
Ruby skated up to them, holding Maeve’s hand. For someone so small, the little girl was doing remarkably well. Then again, she didn’t have so far to fall, nor did she have the same fear of falling as everyone else. Maeve would fall, laugh and get right back up.
It seemed like no matter what the little girl did, she was filled with joy.
“Want Newwie!”
Maeve let go of Ruby’s hand and skated to them. Or rather, right into Nellie’s legs, nearly knocking her off balance. Luke tried steadying her, but his footing slipped and he came crashing down to the ice, taking Nellie and Maeve with him.
Somehow, Ruby got caught in the pile as well, and before they could right themselves, Amos came by. “That looks like fun! I want to join you!”
Before Luke could say anything, Amos flung himself on top of them all, laughing.
Luke tried righting himself, but with all the sharp skates and bodies flailing, he couldn’t get up. If they weren’t on ice, he might not have wanted to. His family hadn’t been so close or laughed so much in a very long time. It would be a shame to end this wonderful moment.
A hand reached out to them. “Let me help you,” Pastor Lassiter said.
Once they got untangled, Luke realized that the family’s red cheeks were starting to get a little too red. It seemed they’d reached their limits of the cold.
“Let’s go inside for a hot drink.” Luke turned to Pastor Lassiter. “Then we should probably think about heading home.”
“Yes,” the older man agreed. “It will be getting dark soon, and then the cold will be unbearable.”
They entered the warming hut, and while Luke ordered drinks for them all, he watched his family by the fire, smiling and laughing in a way none of them had in months. For the first time, he realized that the entire time they’d been skating, he hadn’t thought about missing Diana once. Even now, his thoughts were about how pleased she’d be at how much fun the family had had this afternoon.
This was exactly what the pastor had been talking about. Luke could still live and honor his late wife, and in doing so, he was doing her the greatest honor because his family had the one thing she wanted most for them all—happiness.
Somehow he had to find ways to create more of these moments, not just for his sake, but for the sake of his children, who still had so much left of their lives. Maybe Luke didn’t know God’s plan, or even what God was thinking in all of this. But as he watched Nellie cuddling Maeve, laughing at something Ruby had said to Amos, he knew his family would be all right.
And their family was the very thing Diana would have been most concerned about. Though Luke’s heart still ached, the weight of his loss didn’t seem so strong anymore. Diana was gone, yes, but her legacy would live on. He didn’t have to cling so tightly to her memory to make it happen. The new memories and traditions they’d made today were proof of that.
Nellie looked in his direction, and though her hair was mussed from the wind, she still looked as exceptionally pretty as when they’d been skating. If there was room for new memories and traditions in his family, could there be room for a new love in his heart? Could Luke learn to love his wife?
As Luke considered the question, he realized that his answer wasn’t the automatic no it had been for so long. It wasn’t a yes, either, but he felt a new contentment and openness to accept whatever came his way.
Chapter Twelve
Nellie was pleased with the way their new tree looked in the house. Ruby had been right in thinking that it would work perfectly in the sitting area. The family had brought out the ornaments Diana had cherished, but they’d decided to make some of their own, as well.
Though Luke hadn’t spoken much of the Fitzgeralds since their confrontation the day before, he’d agreed that she could invite them over to decorate the tree. It was progress, even though the weight of their disagreement hung over them. No, not their disagreement, but rather, Luke’s pain over Ellen’s admission that Diana had pushed her out of the way.
A knock sounded at the door, and Amos ran to let in their guests. Myrna carried a pot of what was likely soup, and Seamus held a large box. Ellen followed, looking timid as she entered with her bundles.
“I can’t imagine what all you’ve brought,” Nellie said, greeting her guests. She hugged Ellen as she passed, and some of the hesitation left her friend’s eyes.
“Ewwen!” Maeve immediately wrapped her arms around Ellen’s legs, oblivious to the tension in the room.
“I love your tree,” Myrna said, joining them in the sitting area after putting the pot on the stove. “It fits the room perfectly.”
Nellie smiled. “I do, too. Ruby picked it out.”
“I’m glad Ruby is participating more in the family activities. But where is she?” Myrna asked.
Nellie looked around for Ruby, but the girl was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Luke. Apparently, fences were not going to be so easily mended. But why would Luke take Ruby with him when she’d been looking forward to this gathering all day? She’d even helped Nellie do some extra cleaning to get ready for their guests. True, their house wasn’t terribly dirty, and the Fitzgeralds had seen it in far worse condition, but it still felt more hospitable somehow. This was the first time they’d invited their friends over in a more formal way.
Amos came up to them, holding up a sprig of mistletoe. “I need someone to kiss me,” he said, grinning.
Myrna bent and kissed him on the forehead, then Nellie did the same.
Maeve ran up to them. “Me!”
Nellie couldn’t help but lift Maeve up and swing her around as she gave the little girl a big hug and kiss.
How could she refuse such a delightful smile?
As Nellie spun Maeve around a second time, she noticed Luke and Ruby coming in the back door. Nellie set the little girl down, and Maeve, still giggling from the excitement, ran to her father.
“Papa! Is you’s turn!”
Even Ruby smiled as Luke lifted his daughter and spun her in the air.
“You used to do that to me all the time,” Ruby said. “But I suppose I’m too big now.”
The dark expression Nellie had seen on Luke’s face from time to time momentarily appeared, but then he shook his head and it was gone.
“We can make it work.” Luke picked up his daughter under her arms and lifted her slightly off the ground, then swung her around.
Though he hadn’t done the exact same thing as he’d done with Maeve, it was enough to bring a broad smile to Ruby’s face.
When he set her back down, Ruby said, “I guess I’m still your little girl after all.”
Her words made Nellie’s heart twist in an unexpected way. All this time, Ruby had been trying to be the woman of the house, taking over for her mother, when deep down, all she really wanted to be was her father’s little girl.
“You’ll always be my little girl,” Luke said, pulling Ruby close and hugging her tight against him.
Myrna moved closer to Nellie and said softly, “You have no idea how much this family needed you.”
Watching father and daughter interact so tenderly was helping Nellie get a better idea.
A knock sounded at the back door, and Luke pulled away from Ruby.
“Good, it’s here!” He smiled broadly, then opened the door.
Two burly men entered, carrying what looked like part of a rather large cookstove. Another man followed with miscellaneous parts in his arms.
“What is all this?” Nellie looked at him, knowing she must sound stupid, since it was obvious what it was. Luke had mentioned there was a possibility that he could get a new stove, but to have it come so soon, and without discussing it...she’d thought they’d come to the conclusion that they didn’t need a new stove right now.
“Merry Christmas,” Luke said, looking at her with obvious pride.
“A stove?” Nellie stared at him, then at the stove. It was almost too large for the room, a beast. Bigger and nicer than Myrna’s.
The men set the large part of the stove near their current stove, then went outside, presumably to get the rest of it.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts and sending a quick prayer for love and patience in this moment.
“I don’t understand,” Nellie said when she finally opened her eyes to look at him. “The money...”
Luke shrugged. “Ed needed to get it out of a house he was fixing up for some wealthy gent to rent. The gent wanted something fancier, and this one has a busted hinge on one of the doors, so Ed sold it to me for a good price. Isn’t that right, Ed?”
Luke turned to the man who’d brought in the spare parts. “Sure enough,” Ed said, grinning. “These rich folks come in for a spell, want the house done up right, then they’re gone, and I have to redo it for the next one. Matter of fact, that place on Chestnut you and the late missus were interested in is available again. You know I’ll give you a good price.”
The dark look returned to Luke’s face as he shook his head. “I appreciate it, but the stove is all we need. We’re staying put in this house.”
“You mean the yellow house with the porch Mama liked so much?” Ruby asked, looking up at her father. “It had a parlor for her to do her entertaining, and we could have a bedroom instead of the loft.”
Then Ruby turned to Nellie. “And, oh, the kitchen. Why, it was as big as this whole house! You’ve got to convince Papa to get that place. It’s all Mama ever wanted.”
Luke had never mentioned wanting to move, though it made sense, given that even with the added-on room, their cabin was barely big enough for a couple, but with children, sometimes it seemed like they couldn’t breathe in such a small space. Nellie didn’t have any complaints, though. After all, it was a comfortable home, and everyone seemed happy enough in it.
“We’re not moving,” Luke said.
At his words, Ruby’s face fell. The tone in his voice was the one Nellie had gotten used to as being borne of the pain he’d suffered. Clearly Ruby knew it, as well.
But at least this wasn’t one more way Luke was blindly following the path Diana had set for them. Sometimes Nellie felt like she’d stepped into this other woman’s life and wasn’t given a chance to make it her own.
One of the stove parts fell to the ground with a clatter as the two men returned, carrying additional pieces of metal. Nellie looked over at where they’d set the stove, and she immediately felt bad for thinking such a thing. True, most of what happened in the house was about Diana and what she wanted, but every once in a while, there was a glimmer that Nellie would have her chance, too.
“It’s a mighty fine stove,” Myrna said.
When Nellie turned her attention back to her friend, she realized that this wasn’t about getting Nellie a nice new stove. No, this was Luke’s response to finding out about Ellen. A way to have a more distanced relationship with the family he considered responsible for his pain.
“We’ll have to wait until morning to get it hooked up. Let the little stove burn out and cool down so we can change out the pipe to the chimney.” Ed and Luke began discussing the logistics, but Nellie wasn’t paying attention. All she could see was the sadness on her friends’ faces.
They knew what this gift meant, too.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t still work together,” Nellie said, trying to sound more cheerful about the situation than she felt. “Look, Myrna, I believe it has one of those warming sections like you were wishing you had.”
Myrna didn’t respond, so Nellie continued. “In fact, I think this might be a wonderful way for us to try some of those new recipes Ellen keeps finding in her magazines.”
Nellie turned to Ellen, whose expression was even more grief-stricken than her mother’s. The poor woman blamed herself. But she’d only been trying to help, to get Luke to stop being so angry with people who didn’t deserve it. Not that Ellen deserved it, either. She’d probably suffered enough. Though Nellie hadn’t had a chance to speak with her friend privately since Ellen’s revelations, she knew that Ellen probably suffered more guilt than anyone could comprehend.
“Please say you’ll come over and we’ll try out my new stove together,” Nellie said to her friends. “You always say that many hands make light work, and I find it so much more pleasant to cook with such fine company.”
“Thank you,” Myrna said quietly. “You can count on us.”
If only Myrna didn’t sound like she was about to cry. Nellie looked over at Seamus to see what he thought of his friend’s actions, but the older man had busied himself with showing Amos and Maeve something he was carving. Ruby hovered above them, watching, not fully participating in the activity.
Luke looked up from whatever Ed was showing him, then went over to Nellie. “You don’t like it? I thought you would appreciate being able to better do your job.”
Her job. Nellie swallowed the frustration that rose up at his words. She had to remember that was all this was to him. He might not have employed her, but when one chose to be a wife in name only, for the sake of taking care of a man’s house and children, that was really all it was. A job.
“I was doing just fine,” she said slowly. “But I appreciate all the thought that went into this gift, and I’m sure it will benefit us all for years to come.”
The puzzled look didn’t leave Luke’s face. He’d clearly thought she was going to be pleased with the gift, and here sh
e was, acting completely ungrateful.
“Thank you. Truly.” Nellie gave him a smile, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. “I never expected something so generous.”
Some of the tension left Luke’s face, and he appeared to be relieved. He’d thought she’d been worried about the money. In part, she had, but mostly, as she looked at her unhappy friends, she couldn’t help but think how a new stove would change their relationship.
* * *
Luke tried to enjoy the festive evening with Nellie and the Fitzgeralds. But as he watched everyone laugh and interact, he felt like an outsider. It was strange, since they’d been his friends much longer than they’d known Nellie. Something had changed between them all, and Luke wasn’t sure they’d get it back.
The right thing to do was to tell Ellen that there were no hard feelings, that he didn’t blame her. But he wasn’t sure it was completely honest.
He wasn’t sure what he felt anymore. It wasn’t fair that Diana had to die, but he wouldn’t say that Ellen deserved to die, either. They’d put some men in jail for their part in the explosion at the mine, but knowing those men would never be free to hurt anyone else did nothing to replace what Luke had lost.
Nellie laughed at something the children said.
Luke turned to watch them. They were stringing popcorn to put on the tree, and Nellie was tossing some at the children to catch in their mouths.
Every moment that he dwelled on Diana’s death, trying to figure out who was at fault, was a moment he missed out on with his children. They’d had fun yesterday, and he found that the ever-present ache that had become his best companion since Diana’s death had been strangely absent.
But did not missing his late wife mean that he no longer loved her?
“Papa! You’s turn!” Maeve tossed popcorn at him before he could answer himself, and it ended up going everywhere.
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