by Neta Jackson
“Grace?”
Sam’s voice pulled Grace out of her inner thoughts. “Um … what?”
“I just had an idea. Why not skip the whole theme thing for a while. Just go with ‘Grace Meredith in Concert’ or something. Then you could take more time to decide on the songs you want to do, the direction you want to take. It could lend itself to, oh, I don’t know—a lot of possibilities!”
Grace stared at Samantha. A load seemed to slide off her shoulders. “Samantha Curtis, you’re a lifesaver. I think maybe I could get used to having you around.”
“Well good. ’Cause I’m not going anywhere. Now, can we talk about how you want to answer this one?” The younger woman pointed to the computer screen. “This fan says she’s always dreamed of singing on stage, wants to know if you’ll put in a good word for her with your agent.” Samantha rolled her eyes. “Honestly! Some people!”
Chapter 19
The weather stayed above freezing all weekend and Grace decided it was time to get her car out of the garage. She grinned when the motor purred with the first turn of the key. So glad she’d bought a new car last year! The sporty red of the Ford Focus cheered her up too. Not to mention making it easier to find in a parking lot, sticking out like Santa’s cherry-red nose among all the white, black, silver, and beige look-alike cars and SUVs.
No Curves and no vocal therapy on Saturday! Grace felt liberated as she managed to get out of the slippery alley without dinging the car or anyone’s garage. She headed toward the Lincolnwood Mall, first swinging by the Salvation Army store on Devon Avenue to drop off her bags of gently used clothing. She’d never actually been inside the used-clothing store before and was impressed by how organized it was. A lot of shoppers wandered the aisles, including parents outfitting small children with everything from jeans and T-shirts to party dresses and winter coats.
Grace felt a tad guilty heading for the mall with its big department stores like Kohls and the tony Carson Pirie Scott, as well as dozens of specialty shops. But she had to laugh at some of the jeans in the store windows as she moseyed through the mall—hot brand names already pre-ripped and “distressed.” The teenagers snapping them up might as well go to the Salvation Army store—except the jeans at the Salvation Army were probably in better shape.
She came home with a good pair of gym shoes, sport socks, a sports bra, and some decent workout capris and tops. No more baggy sweat pants and sweatshirt. Almost made her look forward to her next session at Curves on Monday.
Well, almost.
As she dumped her packages on the couch and picked up Oreo, she noticed the black SUV parked in front of the two-flat across the street again. A while later she caught a glimpse from the kitchen of a young boy, maybe twelve or thirteen, bounding out of the house, followed by the man helping an elderly woman down the steps. Was that … could that be the Krakowski woman, home again? She scurried into the living room to get a closer look. No … this old woman was black, maybe the boy’s grandmother.
In spite of her shopping spree, Sunday loomed long and lonesome again. Grace still didn’t know where to go to church. She called her brother Mark, asked for the address of their church, and drove out to the suburbs in time for the eleven o’clock. Mark said the traditional service was at nine, but they usually went to the contemporary service at eleven.
Faith Chapel was a lot smaller than County Line Christian Fellowship, though she guessed there were at least two to three hundred at the contemporary service. She’d like something smaller than a megachurch. Maybe she should attend here for a while. It was nice being there with family, though her nephews had junior church and she didn’t see them till afterward.
Most of the contemporary songs projected onto the big screen were familiar, and the worship band was decent. Good drummer. The sermon was okay, a retelling of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, though it didn’t seem to have much personal application. Or maybe it was just her. She’d been having a hard time reading the Bible and getting anything new out of it.
But the people seemed friendly enough, greeting her along with Mark and Denise with a smile and handshake after the service. “Sorry I didn’t introduce you properly, but I’m not good with names,” Denise admitted as they walked out to the parking lot, trailing Marcus and Luke who ran ahead playing tag around the parked cars. Come to think of it, even though people greeted them, nobody had asked Grace her name or if this was her first time. Just “hello-nice-to-see-you.” Churchy greetings. And no one had recognized her. This didn’t really surprise her, though, even after the surprising success of her independent release. There were so many distractions competing for everyone’s attention these days. Not like when she was young and Amy Grant was grabbing headlines.
She accepted Denise’s invitation to join them at Old Country Buffet for lunch, so it was almost three thirty by the time Grace got home, feeling fuller than she’d like. Still, she was glad she’d gone. Sunday ought to be a day spent at church and with family. Maybe that’s what she’d do for a while, spend Sunday with Mark and Denise and the boys.
After cleaning Oreo’s litter box and putting the breakfast dishes she’d left into the dishwasher, Grace checked e-mail. A brief reply from Jeff said, Okay, will do, to her note suggesting “Grace Meredith in Concert” for her upcoming concert promo. And she had more fan mail. At least there’d be something for Sam to do when she came this week. If she hadn’t canceled the Norfolk concert next Saturday, there’d be travel arrangements and a zillion other details.
As Grace was about to shut down her laptop, another e-mail popped in. From Barry, the band manager. Barry was not happy with the cancellations. The band, he said, had spent a lot of time laying down tracks for the new songs she’d planned to sing at those concerts—Norfolk and Houston being too far and too expensive to bring the live band each time—and they still hadn’t been paid. But Bongo had hired them for the Midwest concerts, the ones within driving distance of Chicago with their van and trailer full of equipment. Could she guarantee that the two cancellations were it? That the two college gigs and the West Coast tour were still a go?
Grace’s stomach knotted. She hadn’t thought through how her cancellations would affect so many people.
But she couldn’t deal with Barry. Bongo did all the contract negotiations with the band. She clicked Forward and sent the e-mail to Jeff Newman with a brief note: Jeff, can you take care of this? Make sure the band gets paid for the work they did, even if we don’t use the tracks. Do what’s right for these guys. Even if it has to come out of my pocket.
Ouch. That was going to hurt.
Grace shut down her laptop and got up to draw the living room drapes—and saw that it was snowing. Oh no. Not more snow. She was really ready for the snow to go away and spring to come.
Now that her sabbatical was official, her routine fell into an easier rhythm. Grace began to feel results from the regular physical exercise, and Dr. Erskine seemed pleased with the progress she was making in her vocal-therapy sessions. Sam showed up on Monday and again on Friday. “Uhhhhh,” she yawned, arching her back and stretching as she finished answering the last of the fan mail Friday afternoon. “February’s almost over. Wonder what Norfolk is like this time of year? Can’t imagine they get all this snow.”
Grace cut her eyes at her assistant. “Sam … don’t.” She didn’t want to think about the canceled concert in Virginia. Except … she had been thinking about it, almost wishing she and Sam were leaving for the airport that afternoon. It would’ve been her first concert at the large Baptist church in Norfolk, which was known for hosting big-name Christian artists. It would have been a nice boost for her career. The weekend-from-hell in Memphis was almost four weeks ago, and the painful edges of her memory had muted somewhat. Maybe she shouldn’t have canceled Norfolk and Houston—
“Sorry.” Sam busied herself shutting down the computer. “That was selfish.”
“Selfish? What do you mean?”
Sam looked embarrassed. “Oh … I mi
ss the excitement of the concerts. I love traveling with you. Dream job. Probably as close to my fantasy as I’ll ever get.”
Grace studied her assistant. She’d been a music major at Fisk University and her music background had certainly weighed in her favor when she’d applied as Grace’s assistant. But Grace hadn’t given Sam’s own career much thought.
“Do you do any singing … now, I mean?”
Sam shrugged as she packed the laptop into its case. “Well, sure. I sing with the choir at Salem Baptist when I’m in town, sing the lead sometimes … but, look. Sorry I brought the whole thing up. I know you need time for your voice to recover. You’ll be back on the road soon enough.”
“I’d like to come hear you sometime.”
Sam grinned. “Sure, if you want. Uh, you still want to go out to eat? We could try that new restaurant on Western Avenue—Belly Shack or something. Heard it was good and not too expensive.”
Both of which turned out to be true. But even while laughing helplessly as she and Sam tried to figure out how to eat the messy meatball-and-rice-noodles pita sandwich, Saturday’s canceled concert loomed like a black hole in Grace’s consciousness. Maybe she’d overreacted to the emotional trauma. Four to six weeks of “house arrest” in the middle of winter wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She missed doing music, missed the excitement of a concert, missed feeling like her days had a purpose …
Those days would soon return. Greenville College was coming up in mid-March, just a few weeks away. She still needed to decide what songs she would sing and send the scores to Barry so he could line up practice times with the band.
“Definitely not too soon to prepare for the Greenville gig,” Sam agreed. They doodled a to-do list on a napkin as the waiter took their plates away and brought two cups of strong Korean coffee. “I can come three days next week—more if you want. But, Grace, better check with Dr. Erskine first, ask what she thinks about practice for these concerts. You don’t want to strain your voice before you’re ready.”
Deciding to start preparations for the Greenville College concert should have perked up Grace’s spirit, but for some reason she woke up Saturday feeling depressed and anxious. Could she really pull it together in time? If all that crap hadn’t happened in Memphis, she and Sam would be in Norfolk getting ready to head over to the church to practice with the band. She’d been told the auditorium could seat two thousand. She pictured the concert she was missing—the dimming lights, walking onstage to loud applause, the hush settling like a mantle as she started to sing.
She loved that feeling—loved sharing her songs, loved knowing there were young people in the audience who needed another voice cutting through the sexual babble from the media world, who needed to hear they were worth waiting for, who came for her music and got a double dose of encouragement to become the men and women God had designed them to be. And afterward … the excitement of meeting her eager fans, basking in their delight as she signed autographs, shook hands, made little jokes, gave hugs …
It built her up. Gave her purpose. Made her feel special. And worthy.
But none of that today. Just another weekend slopping around the house with only Oreo for company.
Not even sure she’d be ready for the concert at Greenville.
But who was she if she couldn’t sing?
Dragging herself out of bed, Grace plodded into the kitchen, started the coffee, and wandered back into the living room to open the drapes. A large rental truck was parked in front of the old lady’s two-flat and a crew of burly guys were hauling furniture and boxes—and what looked like a whole lot of junk—out of the house. Some of the stuff disappeared around back—must have a dumpster or something back there.
The crew worked most of the day, and once when Grace looked out, she saw the same little RAV4, parked this time on her side of the street.
When the truck and little SUV were finally gone, Grace realized the For Sale sign was gone too.
Well, they’d done it. Sold the house right out from under the old lady.
Chapter 20
March rolled in windy and cold. Even though the temperatures were inching above freezing, the gusty winds off Lake Michigan under perpetually cloudy skies seemed to cut to the bone whenever Grace ventured outside—which she had to do at least once a day to get to the fitness center or voice therapist appointments.
But that first week of March wasn’t all bad. Sam came Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to start work on all the details for the upcoming Greenville concert. And Jeff Newman called twice that week, just checking in.
“So I can talk to you in person now?” he joked on Friday, his call interrupting the vocal exercises she was doing at the piano while Sam “supervised” from the dining nook as she worked on hotel arrangements. “Seriously, Grace, your voice is sounding a lot better. I’m so grateful. We’ve been praying for you here at Bongo.”
“Oh. Well, thanks.” People said that all the time—she often said it—but that didn’t mean they always did it.
But almost as if he read into her tone of voice, he said, “I mean it. We start each day in the office with a fifteen-minute prayer time, especially to pray for our clients. Your name has been at the top of the list.”
“Okay.” Grace squirmed on the piano bench. How much had Newman told them? “Um, well, Dr. Erskine says if things keep improving at this rate, I should be ready to sing by mid-month. Hope she moves that up, though, because I need to practice with the band before then. Practice, period. Feeling pretty rusty.”
“You’ll be fine. Just work back in easy. Say … I’m working on a couple of new opportunities for you, but nothing’s definite yet. No rush. We can talk about them later. You just concentrate on the two college concerts for now. Just wanted you to know I haven’t been slacking.” He chuckled on the other end of the phone.
Grace definitely hadn’t been worried about her agent “slacking.” She was tempted to tell him not to work on anything new. The more gigs he lined up for her, the deeper the rut she’d be in and harder to get out of—not that she wanted to, exactly, but might be something to consider if she and Roger ever …
She dropped her head into her hands after the call ended, elbows making a discordant noise on the keyboard. O God, I don’t know what I want! I need some help here! Seemed like all her prayers were “foxhole prayers” these days. But she did need help—help knowing what God wanted her to do with her life, help figuring out what songs she should sing at the upcoming concerts, even help corralling her panic over how she was going to get there—
“You okay?”
Grace looked up. Her assistant was standing in the arched doorway of the dining nook, notebook in hand. “Yeah, fine. Sorry. What’s up?”
“I found a hotel near the college campus. Just need to know if you want it for one night or two. The flight from Chicago to St. Louis is only an hour, but someone at the college would need to pick us up and Greenville is another hour or so by car. You could fly in Friday morning and probably still have time to practice with the band before the concert that night …”
Grace’s stomach knotted. She stared at the white and black piano keys, which started to blur. There it was. The Big Question. Was she willing to go through airport security again?
Sam didn’t wait for her response. “You know what? Don’t worry about it. We can drive and go down on Thursday. The band will be driving Barry’s van and pulling a trailer, it’s only a few hours—four or five at the most. I’ll rent a car and we can drive back on Saturday. If I drive down, you’ll be rested and have plenty of time on Friday to get set up in the auditorium and practice with the band.”
Grace looked up at her gratefully. “Sounds good. Yes, let’s do that.”
“But … the next concert is Cincinnati, a bit further. Might make sense to fly. Should I—?”
Grace quickly shook her head. “Wait on that, okay? Go ahead and book a hotel near the university for two nights. That’ll give us room to decide how we travel there. The
band’s driving to Cincinnati, right? Must be doable.”
Sam looked dubious, but shrugged. “Okay.” She headed back toward the dining table where she’d been working on the laptop, then turned back. “Uh, just one more thing.”
It was all Grace could do not to roll her eyes. “What?”
Sam didn’t flinch. “Look, don’t shoot the messenger. But there’s a new e-mail from Barry. Says he needs your song list ASAP since it’s only two weeks till Greenville. He also wants to know if you plan to practice with them here in Chicago or wait to put it together at the college.”
Grace sighed. “I know. I’m sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Just feeling all this tension. I—I feel stuck.”
Sam moved quickly over to the piano, sat down on the bench beside her, and gave Grace a hug. “Hey, that’s what you have an assistant for! Look, soon as I make these hotel reservations and line up a rental car, let’s come up with a set list. You’ve got some great songs. Honestly, I don’t think it’s going to be that hard.”
Sitting on the living room floor an hour later, the two women sifted through Grace’s song file and began making piles by category: original songs Grace had written herself … songs written by other artists that Bongo had gotten permission for her to use … new arrangements she’d done of classic hymns. “Why don’t you pick a few from each category,” Sam said, “some of your favorites. After all, this is just ‘Grace Meredith in Concert.’ You can sing whatever you want—”
“Wait.” Grace’s eyes widened. “Greenville is my alma mater. I should take advantage of that, maybe do a retro thing—sing some of the songs that were popular when I was a music major there. I wrote a number of songs then too.”
Sam laughed aloud. “Grace! That’s a great idea! You could lighten it up by telling stories from your college days …”