by Weber, Carl
“Avery Mack, where on God’s green earth did you get this kind of money?”
“I got promoted,” I told her. I hated to lie, but what was I gonna do, tell her I was an armed robber? Eventually I’d tell her I’d started a new business with Cain, but for right now I’d go with the planned lie. “You’re looking at the new operations manager over at Sam’s Long Island warehouse.”
She raised an eyebrow and squinted at me with skepticism. “And now you can tell me the rest of the story, because this is a lot of money practically overnight.”
“They gave me a nice chunk of change as a signing bonus.”
She gave me a look that said she thought my story was bullshit. “You expect me to believe Cheap Sam’s Furniture gave you a signing bonus and a promotion?”
“It’s true.” I handed her one of the business cards Cain had printed up, but she dropped it as she took it from my hand. She bent over to pick it up, and well, I must say she was looking pretty good.
“I have to give it to you, Connie. Your ass is looking good,” I said because I hoped it would distract her from asking any more questions—and because it was true. I gave her a confident smile, the kind that used to melt her in the old days, but I swear it wasn’t on purpose. It was more like a reflex. You know, when a man sees something sexy his body automatically responds. Hell, whether or not I was divorcing her, she was still a woman, and she was looking good.
The expression on her face was not one of pleasure or surprise, but more of disbelief. “Are you coming on to me?”
“Would that be so bad? After all, we are married, and I still love you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, you should have thought about that before you decided to walk out on me.”
“You might be right, but did you ever think about the fact that my leaving is what motivated you to lose the weight?”
Connie turned away, probably because she didn’t want me to see it on her face that I was right. “Anyway,” she said, “I’ve still got about twenty pounds to lose. It’s not coming off as fast as it did when I first started, but I’m getting there.”
“Well, I’d love to help you out there,” I said seductively, taking a step closer. She tried to step back, but the entryway was a tight space. There was nowhere for her to go. “I mean, think of the workouts we could have.” I felt myself getting hard, something that Connie’s body hadn’t done to me in a long time. I tried to tell myself it was just leftover adrenaline from our last robbery, but the truth was my soon-to-be ex-wife was turning me on.
“Losing weight is not only about exercise and working out,” she said, sounding nervous. “It’s also about eating right and—”
I cut her off with a kiss. It landed on her cheek but only because she turned her head. I had tried to kiss her lips. “As far as eating right, let me take you out to dinner. I hear that new joint over on Merrick Boulevard specializes in salads and all this organic stuff.”
“And since when do you eat organic food?” she asked, leaning her body away from me.
“Like I said, I’m trying to help you out. What do you think?”
“I think it’s too little too late, Avery. I appreciate the offer, but I got all the help I need right outside that door. Now, can you give me some space?” She placed her hands on my chest.
I felt my competitive spirit rise. “Connie, that guy ain’t doing nothing but using you. Trust me. I know guys like him. After he gets what he wants, he’ll be in the wind.”
She raised a hand to cut me off. “You don’t know a thing about him.”
“No, Connie, I know everything about him. It’s you who doesn’t know anything about him—or me, for that matter. I’m not the same old Avery.” I pressed my weight against hers as I forced our lips to meet long enough to make sure she remembered. “And I’m not going to take no for an answer.”
I stepped back, and the expression on her face told me everything I needed to know. She now understood who and what I’d become.
Benny
27
I’d just put on my shoes and was about to head out the door when Pop walked in looking worn down. I hadn’t seen him much the past few days because he’d been doing a lot of overtime.
“Looks like you had a long day.”
“Yep, a very long day,” he said as he flopped down into his recliner. “You going somewhere?”
“Me and Daryl are going out for a couple of drinks.”
Now he didn’t only look tired, he looked irritated. Lately it seemed like he got a funny look on his face every time I mentioned Daryl’s name. I kind of understood it, I guess, because before Daryl came around, Pop and I used to spend much more time together.
“Sit down, son.”
I wanted to tell him I was in a rush, but his tone was pretty serious, so I sat down on the couch, hoping he would make it quick. I was supposed to be over at Daryl’s fifteen minutes ago.
“I ran into Clyde tonight,” he said, and then I knew this would not be a good conversation. Clyde was my father’s cop friend who worked at the local precinct.
When Daryl and I had run into Pop on the stoop the day I got picked up for gun possession, everything seemed fine. I mean, he wasn’t exactly friendly to Daryl, but he definitely didn’t know anything about my arrest, or else he would have flipped out. Enough time had passed since then that I thought I was in the clear. But now that he was mentioning Clyde, I was pretty sure Clyde must have somehow found out and told him about the gun.
I tried to play it off. “Oh, cool. How’s Clyde?” Inside, I was shaking like a leaf.
“What the hell were you thinking about, son?” Pop said, sounding disappointed.
“Pop, I—”
He blew up. “A gun? What the fuck were you doing with a gun?”
“Look, it was all a misunderstanding. Daryl took care of it anyway, so there’s nothin’ to worry about.” I said this casually, hoping it would calm him down, but that was a mistake. It only seemed to make him madder.
“Oh, Daryl took care of it, huh? Who the fuck is he to be taking care of my son?” His voice went up a few decibels. “From now on, I don’t want you hanging out with Daryl. That guy’s bad news.”
Before I even knew what I was doing, I jumped up from the couch and yelled at my father, “You’re not going to choose my friends! I’m a grown man!”
Now it was his turn to jump up. He got right in my face. “So you’re a man now?” He laughed. “Men take care of themselves. You couldn’t take care of a goldfish if I left the food on the counter.”
I shot back with, “Why don’t you just admit what this is about, Pop? You’re jealous ’cause I’m spending time with Daryl instead of you.”
He didn’t answer, but a look flashed across his face that told me I’d struck a nerve. I kept going. Maybe it was mean, but I couldn’t help myself. I was pissed that he wanted to keep me away from Daryl.
“You wanna know why I like spending time with him? Maybe it’s the fact that you keep treating me like a kid when I’m a man! That’s the difference between you and him. He treats me like a man.”
My father stood there momentarily, his chest heaving as he glared at me. I couldn’t tell if he was hurt or if he was trying to stop himself from beating the shit out of me. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and calm. “You know what, son? I’ve lived my entire life for you. I’ve only wanted what was best for you, but maybe I’ve gone about it the wrong way. So guess what? I’m done. It’s time you started making your own way.”
“And I’m supposed to be sad about that? That’s all I’ve ever wanted was for you to let me live my own life and make my own decisions.”
In spite of the attitude I was throwing at him, he remained calm. “Fine, and while you’re living your own life, maybe you should do it somewhere else, because as long as you live under my roof, you’re gonna abide by my rules. When can I expect your stuff to be out of here?”
The look he gave me was a challenge. He knew I didn’t have anywhere to go.
He also knew I didn’t have a job. I’m sure he thought that threatening to kick me out would scare me, but he was wrong. I was not going to end my friendship with Daryl, no matter what he said.
“I don’t have an exact date,” I told him, “but trust me, it’s gonna be sooner than later.”
I stormed past him and marched out the front door, making sure it slammed behind me. Had I stayed in that house with him a minute longer, I might have packed my stuff up right then and there. I needed to cool off, and I damn sure needed a drink. I headed to Daryl’s.
Under his roof I have to live by his rules. Fuck his rules, I thought as I knocked on Daryl’s door.
“Hey, Benny, come on in.” Daryl opened the door wearing his robe, probably so that it would be easier for me to take off his ankle bracelet before we left.
I walked inside in a huff. My adrenaline had kicked into high gear. I needed to relax before I exploded. “You got any beer, man?” I didn’t even wait for him to reply before I changed my mind. “As a matter of fact, scratch that. You still got that tequila?”
“Yeah, in the kitch—”
I was already in the kitchen before he finished, going through his cupboards in search of something that could take the edge off.
“Bingo!” I found what I was looking for. Opting for a small juice glass instead of a shot glass, I filled it halfway and chugged it down as I made my way back into the living room. Daryl was watching the game on TV. With a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other, I sat down on the couch.
“Dude, are you drinking that shit straight?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.” I downed a huge gulp that damn near burned a hole in my throat. “Yeah, it’s straight,” I said with a cough.
“Benny, that’s fucking tequila. What’s wrong with you?”
“My dad, that’s what’s fucking wrong.” I took another swallow, and it didn’t go down as hard this time. “I’m so sick of his ass. He doesn’t understand…”
Daryl got up and stood over me. “Look, man, I know it’s rough being a grown man living under your father’s roof, but he is your father and you gotta respect that. Some of us don’t have a dad, Benny.”
“I know, but he doesn’t get it. He’s stuck in the Stone Age, and he wants me to be there with him, but I can’t let him hold me back anymore.”
That made Daryl laugh. “Hold you back? He may put up some roadblocks, but the man’s not holding you back. He’s your father. He puts a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back. What’s he holding you back from? I wish someone would hold me back that way.”
“From you!” I admitted, standing on my feet. I took one last gulp of tequila, emptying the glass. It went down much smoother this time. I’d become immune. I set the glass down on the table and looked Daryl in the face. “He’s trying to hold me back from being around you,” I said more quietly now.
“From me?” There was a nervous laugh.
“He doesn’t like you, Daryl. You’d have to be blind not to see it.”
“Nah, I can see it. I been meaning to talk to him about it too.” Daryl kind of shrugged. “It’s just that so much shit has been going down with Connie, Avery, and Krystal that I haven’t been able to deal with little stuff.”
“Little?” I was kind of taken aback. Did Daryl view our friendship as something little? Maybe it was the alcohol giving me courage, but I decided to go for it. “He’s trying to keep us apart, Daryl. He’s trying to keep us from being together.”
Daryl’s face became flushed and his eyes got big. “What do you mean, being together?”
“Just what I said.” I took a step closer. Before I knew it, I slipped my hand in his robe and leaned in, my lips headed for his.
“Whoa! Whoa! What the hell are you doing, man?” Daryl took a step back from me.
I moved forward, closing the gap between us. He seemed scared, but I wasn’t—not anymore at least. It was time to stop hiding in the shadows.
“Come on, man. It’s me and you here. You don’t have to pretend anymore, Dee. No need to act like you don’t know what’s going on. Hell, evidently even my dad sees it.”
This time Daryl put up two hands and sort of ran away from me backward. “Whoa, wait a minute. If you’re saying what I think you’re… Hold up. You and your dad’s got this thing all—Benny, man, are you saying…?”
Daryl couldn’t get a complete sentence out to save his life. Maybe he didn’t know how to express his feelings, I thought. I couldn’t blame him. I’d been keeping mine sort of bottled up too ever since I was little.
Daryl took a deep breath and seemed to gather himself. “Benny, I’m going to come out and ask you this: Are you gay?”
I thought for a few seconds. “I don’t know what I am yet, but what I do know is how I feel whenever we’re together.” I stepped closer to him, keeping my eyes locked on his as I moved in yet again for a kiss.
“No, no. There is no we. There’s no together.” He hurried away from me, tripping over the coffee table. “What I mean, Benny, is that you a cool cat. Any girl would be—” He stopped and thought for a minute. “Or any man—or whatever—would be lucky to… you know… with you. But dude, that’s not for me. I like women.”
“I know you like women,” I told him. “But I know you like men too.” I pointed over to his bookshelf. “I’ve seen your books: Both Sides of the Fence, Invisible Life. I’ve also checked out those videos you had lying around here last week: Six Degrees of Separation.”
Daryl laughed. “You’ve got it all wrong. Connie brought that video over here for us to watch. And those aren’t my books. I mean, they’re my books, but I was just reading them because my little brother is gay. I was trying to get some sort of insight so I would know how to deal with him… his situation. He was going through a rough time when I came home from jail.”
I was starting to sober up way too soon. Daryl was doing a lot of chuckling, and he had this weird, uncomfortable expression on his face. Was he not ready to come out of the closet yet, or was he truly rejecting my advances? I wasn’t sure which, but I was getting sick to my stomach just thinking it might be the latter. Something told me the tequila wasn’t the only thing straight in the room.
“Come on, Daryl. You did time in jail. You mean to tell me that you never—”
“Never!” he was quick to affirm. “I’ve never been with a man, and I never will be, Benny.”
I almost threw up right then and there, and it didn’t have a damn thing to do with all the tequila I’d downed. “Oh, fuck.” I turned away, my face burning with embarrassment.
Daryl put a brotherly hand on my shoulder. “Come on, man. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. There are a lot of gay people in the world,” he told me. “I’m just not one of them.”
I couldn’t even turn around to look at Daryl as I headed for the door and barged out of his apartment the same way I’d barged in. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to look him in the eyes again—or myself, for that matter.
Connie
28
I’d been thinking a lot about Avery lately. Not about being with him or anything like that, because as far as I was concerned that phase of my life was over. The kiss he gave me the other night was enough to make me sure of that. I was more than happy with the way things were progressing with Daryl. Still, Avery’s actions were very troubling. He’d changed. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something about his demeanor that didn’t sit well with me—that and his newfound wealth. I’m not sure what that was about, but he’d made too much money too soon for me not to be suspicious. I knew Avery well enough to know that he would never give me that much money if he didn’t have a hell of a lot more stashed away somewhere. I’d tried to talk to Daryl about it, but anything concerning Avery seemed to be a sore spot with him. Not that I could blame him with the way Avery was popping up every few days.
Nancy and the stoop ladies speculated that Avery had hit the lotto and wa
s trying to hide it from me until the divorce was final. I could definitely see him doing that, but when I searched the New York State records for recent lottery winners, his name was nowhere to be found. I would have to see about Connecticut, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania too. I’m not ashamed to say that I was checking because if he hit the lotto, I damn sure wanted my half, no matter how weird he was acting.
I glanced at the clock and realized I didn’t have time to be worrying about whether Avery was hiding assets. I was already late getting off to work. I made one last sweep of the room to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind, then rushed to the door. If I was lucky, I’d still be able to catch the bus.
Before I could turn the handle, there was a loud banging. I screamed as I opened the front door to see five uniformed police officers and a few plainclothes cops standing there with guns drawn, pointed at me. My hand flew to my breast, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest.
One of the plainclothes cops grabbed me and slammed me against the hallway wall and the rest of them stormed my apartment.
“What’s going on?” I asked with tears falling from my eyes. I’d never been so scared in my entire life. I received no answer from the cop who kept me pinned with my face to the wall.
I heard, “Clear!” coming from inside my apartment, and only then was I turned around to face the officers who’d come back out.
“Sorry, Miss. We didn’t mean to scare you,” one of the suited men said. “I’m Detective Wilson. We’re looking for Avery Mack.”
“Avery? He’s—he’s not here.” I’d been expecting them to say they were at the wrong place. It had even crossed my mind for a second that maybe they’d meant to bust into Daryl’s apartment, but no way did I think that they were looking for my soon-to-be ex-husband. I couldn’t imagine what they wanted with him. Maybe he’d seen or heard something. At this point, I still wasn’t putting two and two together.
“Are you Mrs. Mack?”
“Yes,” I whispered as it started to dawn on me that Avery might not have won the lottery after all.