by Weber, Carl
Judging from the smirks on the faces of the women sitting around the stoop, me trying to make nice with Benny was a lost cause. Nonetheless, I tried one more time.
“Tell him I said don’t be a stranger and that I might bring him by some pie.” I was sure his father would know exactly what type of pie I was talking about—sweet, creamy Nancy pie.
Benny stopped and turned, wagging his finger as if he wanted to say something. Instead of speaking whatever was on his mind, though, he just rolled his eyes and then continued into the building.
“Humph. I guess someone has a problem with you ’cause that boy is usually polite,” Bertha, the stoop’s elder stateswoman, stated from her perch on the top step. The other ladies sitting and standing around the stoop laughed.
I waved my hand at the door to let them know his little attitude didn’t faze me. “Don’t pay him no mind. He’s probably drunk. I bet that bag he’s carrying has a fifth of vodka in it. Besides, he’s just mad ’cause he thinks I had something to do with his daddy finding out he’s gay.”
Bertha gave me a knowing glance that made me want to recant my statement. “Um, Nancy, if I’m not mistaken, you did have something to do with his daddy finding out he was gay.”
I glanced around at all the eyes accusing me. “Well, yeah, maybe I did,” I admitted sheepishly, “but he don’t know that for sure. Far as he’s concerned, his friend from 3B outed him.” I folded my arms, hoping that would be the end of it.
“Speaking of 3B,” one of the women chimed in, looking at her watch. “Where the hell is he? Shouldn’t he be out here by now? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I haven’t fed my kids yet, sitting around waiting on him.”
Truth is, none of us had done much of anything. It was almost eight thirty in the morning on a Saturday, and we were all doing what had become a habit ever since Daryl Graham moved in: we were waiting for the 3B show. Usually he was right on schedule, coming out for his morning run every Saturday at eight on the dot. Lately, Connie had been following behind him like she was a tail growing out of his ass, but that didn’t stop the rest of us from sitting around every weekend to get a look at the hottest man ever to grace the stoop.
Thank goodness we weren’t disappointed, because a few moments later Daryl strolled out of the building. Even better, he was alone for the first time in weeks. Apparently the rumors about him and Connie being on the outs were true. If she was out of the picture, that made him available and fair game. That’s why the stoop was even more crowded than usual this morning. Every able-bodied woman within a two-block radius was itching to take Connie’s spot. You could put me at the top of that list, despite the fact that I had a husband—and a fireman that I’d been sexing for the past three years. Shoot, just because Ben was giving me the silent treatment didn’t mean my hormones were on vacation.
Mmm-mmm-mmm, that man is so fine, I thought, admiring the way he looked in his tight white wife beater and New York Knicks jogging suit. It seemed like the sun got a little brighter as soon as he appeared.
“What’s up, ladies?” Daryl flashed a smile as he stood on the sidewalk and began stretching.
“Morning,” we all replied like a love-struck chorus.
Daryl always did warm-ups before his morning run, but this time something seemed different about his jumping jacks, deep knee bends, and squats. It was like he was putting on a special show just for us. Well, actually, like it was just for me. I swear he was smiling directly at me. I couldn’t remember him ever making eye contact with me the way he was this time. He bent over to touch his toes and looked right at me to make sure I was watching. Maybe it was just because Ben hadn’t been sexing me lately, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away!
“Whew, it’s hot out here already,” he said, wiping his forehead.
I’m feeling the same way, I thought, but it’s not the weather that’s making me hot.
I watched him remove his Knicks jacket, and then to my surprise—and probably the disappointment of every other woman on the stoop—he tossed his jacket in my direction. “Hey, Nancy, can you hold onto this until I get back?”
“Uh, sure,” I said, clutching it to my chest. Everything in me wanted to hold it up to my nose and sniff it. If I could have, I would have thrown him my panties in exchange.
“Thanks.” He flashed me another million-dollar smile before taking off down the block. I watched him, my eyes glued on his ass, until he disappeared into the park entrance. When I came out of my trance, I felt the stares of the other women on the stoop. I quickly surveyed their faces, seeing the same thing in each: pure jealousy.
“What?” I said, barely able to contain a smile. I glanced down at the jacket like it was a well-deserved trophy. I wanted to hold it up and scream, “Victory!”
“Ummm, don’t you have a husband?” one of the women asked with annoyance in her tone.
“A husband and a histress,” Bertha added, sitting back and crossing her arms indignantly over her huge chest. “I guess she wants every decent man for herself.”
I gave Bertha a fleeting glance. I couldn’t believe that of all the women on the stoop, she was hating on me. I thought we were friends.
I turned to my supposed friend. “First of all, Bertha, what I do is none of your business,” I said with a sister-girl roll of my neck. “But even if you could have him, what would you do with someone as young as Daryl?” Bertha had to be pushing seventy.
Bertha stood up, running her hand through her gray hair and shaking her ample hips. “Honey, just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there ain’t fire in the furnace. You wanna know what I’d do with a young buck like him? What you think I’m gonna do? I’m gonna fuck his ass just like you—only better. That’s what I’m gonna do.” Bertha gave us all a good thrust with her hips, and the entire stoop burst out laughing. I loosened up and laughed right along with them. And why shouldn’t I laugh? I was still the one holding Daryl’s jacket.
“Girl, I heard that,” I said. “But for the record, I didn’t know he was gonna give me his jacket to hold.”
“Mm-hmm, sure you didn’t,” another woman mumbled as she dragged herself off the stoop like a loser walking away from the racetrack. “Guess I can go feed my kids now… Right before I take a cold shower.”
The rest of the women and I chatted it up for a while longer as we waited for Daryl to return. We talked about some of the characters passing by, as well as the characters we had living right in our apartment building. I tried to avoid the subject, but Benny and his father kept coming up.
“I kind of feel sorry for him,” one of the women said in reference to Benny.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “That boy’s been drinking away his sorrows ever since he came out the closet.”
Bertha had to get her two cents in again. “He didn’t come out the closet. His daddy pushed him out—along with your help—right in front of your boy Daryl.” For some reason, Bertha was really on my case today.
“He is not my boy, Bertha.” Not yet anyway, I thought.
“Shh. Here he comes,” someone whispered in warning.
“I can see.” I turned, picking my fingers through my hair in an attempt to give it some style. All of our back and forth banter came to a halt as he walked up.
Sexy, sexy, sexy. That was the only word to describe this hunk of perfection as he stood there drenched in perspiration. Hell, I would have worn his funky sweat like perfume if I could have. How in the hell did Connie ever give him up?
“Good workout?” I asked.
“It was. You should join me sometime,” he replied.
I thought he was just making polite conversation until he leaned in closer and added, “Come up to my place sometime so we can discuss it.”
When he pulled back, I searched his eyes in an attempt to determine if his invitation was serious.
“You want me to come up to your place?” I asked to confirm for myself and to make sure the rest of the stoop heard it.
“You heard me. C
ome check me out sometime so we can discuss a workout schedule.” He took his jacket and headed up the steps.
“You want me to come up to your place?” I repeated.
“Why do I feel like I’m talking to a parrot all of a sudden?” he joked.
I couldn’t help but ask, “But what about Connie?” I was not trying to have an issue with her. Even though she’d lost weight, she still had me by a few pounds.
“Don’t you worry about Connie. You let me worry about her fat ass,” he said with a wink. The entire stoop went silent.
Okay, so maybe it was a little offensive to hear him calling her a fat ass, but hell, let’s keep it real. When a man as fine as Daryl asks you to meet him upstairs, you’re willing to overlook a few minor character flaws.
“Then I guess I’ll see you in a few,” I announced, wishing I could fast-forward time and go upstairs at that moment.
He was barely out of sight before the old hens started pecking.
“For a woman who prides herself on discretion, that was not discreet at all,” Bertha said.
“What are you trying to say? We’re just gonna talk about working out,” I insisted, but the women erupted in laughter. I wasn’t fooling anyone, including myself.
“Girl, do you even hear yourself?”
“Yeah, what do we look, stupid? We all know what you’re going up there for,” Bertha said. “But like y’all say, I ain’t mad at ya. I’m just mad it ain’t me.”
“I heard that!” another woman agreed and gave Bertha a high five.
I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to convince them that I was not going up to his place for any hanky-panky, but it was useless. They weren’t going to believe it any more than I was. We all knew damn well what I intended to do when I was alone with Daryl. Maybe Ben had done me a favor after all by cutting me off.
Our good-natured joking was interrupted when Slim and Krystal came barreling out the door and busted through our group like there was only half an hour left to cash in the winning Powerball ticket.
“Excuse me, what’s the damn hurry?” I shot off, but neither of them said anything. They just ran down the block.
A few minutes later, they came riding past us in a shiny Mercedes. They actually circled the block three times before disappearing.
“Isn’t that Avery Mack’s car?” one woman asked.
“Uh-huh.” Bertha nodded. “Her daddy sure does spoil her, letting her ride in his car like that.”
“Didn’t I hear you say the other day that the cops were looking for him?” the woman continued.
“Mm-hmm, sure did. Probably looking for that car too.” I shook my head.
“You know that girl ain’t got no damn sense. What kinda schoolteacher dates a drug dealer anyway,” Bertha said. “Humph.”
“A drug-addicted one,” I concluded. “He’s got her ass so strung out. That boy’s gonna be the end of her one day.”
“She’s too damn pretty to be so stupid,” one woman said.
“Her and her daddy,” I replied.
“You know, I could have sworn I saw her daddy creeping out back last night,” Bertha added. “But Mister told me to get my nosy-ass head from around that damn window and mind my business before someone blows it off.” She chuckled. “I took that as good advice, but now I wish I had seen who it was for sure.”
“You know, I can believe it was him. Now that he’s robbing folks and got a little money, Connie might be letting him in the back door. I bet you that’s the reason why her and Daryl broke up. That Avery always did have a spell on her,” one woman speculated.
“Well, I’d love to stay here and chat it up with you ladies a little longer, but I got a meeting in apartment 3B.” I winked. “So, ta-ta, ladies. I’ll see y’all later.”
I loved rubbing it in their faces that I was about to go live out what for the past few months had been a fantasy for each of us. There was nothing but hate for me out on the stoop, but if those heifers hated me now, then this afternoon, when I strolled outside glowing from head to toe, they would absolutely despise me.
“Have fun,” someone called out sarcastically.
“Yeah, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Bertha added.
“Don’t worry. I will,” I shot back as I opened the door. Just the thought of wrestling naked with Daryl was making me moist. I was about to show him things he’d never seen before.
I walked into the lobby and froze. Connie was standing by the mailboxes, staring at me as if she knew exactly what I was up to.
“Hi,” I said, lifting my hand in a weak greeting.
“Hey.” She nodded curtly and headed for the door.
I was thankful that she wasn’t headed up the stairs but also concerned about whether Bertha and the rest of the haters outside would keep their mouths shut about my little rendezvous with Daryl. So for good measure, I hung out in the lobby for a minute or two, just in case. When Connie didn’t come stomping back into the building, I headed for the elevator.
As I rode up to the third floor, I realized that Connie might not be the only person I ran into on my way to Daryl’s. What if I saw Ben? After all, he lived on the third floor too. This wasn’t the first time I’d snuck into a man’s apartment in this building, but it was definitely turning out to be the most stressful.
What would I say if I ran into Ben? Part of me thought, Who cares? It’s not like I belong to Ben, and besides, he’s not talking to me anyway. It would serve him right to see me going into another man’s apartment. But the truth was I did care. All of a sudden, I wasn’t sure I could go through with this rendezvous with Daryl or if I really even wanted to. As much as I talked a good game in front of the girls, that’s all it was—talk. Sure, being with Daryl was a nice fantasy, but if I was being honest with myself, I was more in love with Ben than I was with my own husband. Being with Daryl would be cheating on Ben, and I didn’t know if I could do that.
As it turned out, I did meet Ben on the third floor, but it didn’t go down anything close to the way I’d imagined it. The third-floor hallway was filled with a cloud of thick, black smoke that came billowing into the elevator as soon as the doors opened. I staggered out, confused and frightened. All of a sudden, Ben came out of nowhere, guiding me toward the staircase door and away from danger.
Connie
34
I could feel Nancy’s eyes on my back as I retrieved the mail from my mailbox and walked out of the building. It wasn’t hard to tell she was up to something from her lack of eye contact and uncharacteristically timid behavior. I didn’t pay her much attention, though, because I had other things on my mind—like the fact that my crazy, gun-toting ex-husband had broken into my apartment the night before to confess his undying love and to plead with me to go on the lam with him. Of course, I turned down both offers, only to find out that his main objective was to get back the money he’d given to me. To say he didn’t take it well when I finally admitted that Daryl was holding the money is an understatement.
I was still kind of in shock over the whole incident. I couldn’t believe that he’d actually had the balls to break into my place, then storm into Daryl’s apartment with a gun, threatening to kill him if he didn’t give him my money. It was touch and go there for a minute, but Daryl gave him what he’d been asking for and Avery was gone. I just hoped the whole incident didn’t come back to haunt us one day.
When I brushed past Nancy and stepped outside, I heard one of the hens out there whispering, “Oh, Lord, speak of the devil,” loud enough for me to hear. It was obvious my name had just been on their tongues. It was safe to assume that Nancy had been out there instigating. If this was any other day, I would have given these broads a real piece of my mind, but I didn’t have time for their pettiness. So instead of going off on them, I decided to take the high road. Besides, if I stayed out on the stoop and made small talk, one of those gossiping fools would eventually spill the beans and I’d know exactly what had been said about me.
“Hello, ladies
. How’s everybody doing?” I leaned against the concrete banister halfway down the steps and thumbed through my mail.
“Oh, we’re all just fine,” Bertha answered. “How you doing? I’m sorry to hear about your recent split.”
I waved away her comment. “Thank you, Bertha. Don’t you worry about me. I might be big, but I always land on my feet. Besides, breaking up with Avery might be the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Avery?” Bertha looked even more confused than usual. “I wasn’t talking about Avery. I saw him creeping around the fire escape to your place last night. I know what was going on with that. I was talking about your breakup with Daryl.”
And that’s when the lightbulb went off in my head. They must have noticed I’d been keeping Daryl at a distance the past few days, and Bertha must have seen Avery when he snuck into my apartment last night.
“Daryl.” I let out a laugh. “Oh, you really don’t have to worry about that. We’re fine. As a matter of fact, we’re better than fine.” I looked over my shoulder and lowered my voice. “And as far as Avery’s concerned, he just wanted me to give Krystal his car keys.” No way was I gonna tell them about his demand for my money.
Marie, one of the ladies from the second floor, said, “So you and Daryl are good, huh?”
“Mmm-hmm, I just had him on pussy punishment is all.” I straightened up and smiled. “But I think it’s about time for him to get off punishment.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s on his way to doing just that.” Marie looked at the other women and snickered. They all wore similar smirks on their faces.
I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but I could tell when someone was taking a jab. My first instinct was to whip her ass, but after last night’s confrontation with Avery, I didn’t think I could handle any more stress.
I turned my attention to Bertha. “What is she talking about?” I asked.