The whole ride had been torture for her, and she thought he’d known it too. He had to have noticed her breath catch or her eyes falling shut as she felt his chest vibrate against her back.
“Have you heard of the old English superstition that says, ‘If the ravens leave the Tower, the kingdom will fall…’? To this day, they keep seven ravens in the Tower of London. They’ve clipped one wing on each so they can’t fly far,” Sean said.
She remained quiet, nodding at Sean’s various remarks on the Tower of London or the Parliament House. He could have been making that shit up for all she was paying attention. Somehow Sean could make trivial English historical facts sound like foreplay.
Their lovely yet torturous ride on the London Eye came to an end, and they’d decided to take the Tube back to their hotel instead of flagging down another cab. Sean had stood firmly planted beside her the entire ride, providing a comfortable buffer between Darcy and the rest of the overly crowded train. Even over the stale smell of the underground, she had still smelled the warm and wonderful Sean scent that clung to his jacket. Her nose had practically been stuffed into the center of his clavicle as they’d swayed with the motions of the train car.
She’d hoped she hadn’t been drooling.
What made him a little more reserved after dinner was a mystery. But she felt as if she heard her heart beating like a countdown clock as they walked side by side down the dimly lit hotel hallway toward her room.
If this really was a date, then this was the awkward moment when all dates came to an end, and they had to say good-bye. If only there were a manual for these types of things.
What was the appropriate good-bye for a couple of former best friends who were out on their very first date after they’d already slept together?
As they neared her door, Darcy rummaged through her clutch and pulled out her room key. “Thank you, for a lovely—”
Sean plucked her room key out of her hand. He unlocked her door with a loud click and held it open wide. Stepping back, he grinned at her. “After you.”
“I don’t remember inviting you in.”
“You rudely did not invite me in, but I’m inviting myself. Since when have you ever had to ‘invite’ me in before?”
“Precisely my point. The rules have changed. We supposedly just finished a date, and you’re inviting yourself into my hotel room. That’s not exactly proper.”
Sean grinned. “You’re right. The rules have changed. Our date is not over. And since when have you given a shit about propriety?”
She would have come back with a smartass remark, but her words got piled up in her throat. Their date wasn’t over?
She swallowed, trying to get some moisture down her suddenly very dry throat. “What do you mean our date’s not over?”
He took a deep breath. “You and I need to talk. And I figured you’d rather do that in the privacy of your room instead of out here in the hall.”
Darcy looked back up the hallway at an older couple shuffling in their direction. Shit. He did have a point. She brushed by him into the dark room and turned on the nearest lamp. Sean closed the door behind him with a soft click.
He was right, of course. They needed to talk, or they’d never move on with any sort of friendship or whatever else there was between them. Although reluctant to wade back into that murky mess, she resigned herself to the fact that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She tossed her clutch onto the desk beside her bed, shrugged her coat off, and walked to the closet to hang it up. All the while Sean watched her from just inside the door.
“Okay. Where should we start?” she asked, shutting the closet door. She was proud that her voice didn’t quiver, because inside she was a bundle of nerves.
He was quiet for a moment and then turned toward the window, loosening his tie as he went. Pulling the silk fabric free from his shirt collar, he draped it over the arm of one of the yellow cushiony chairs in the sitting area beside the window. He shrugged his suit jacket off, letting it slide down his arms before it, too, joined his tie on the arm of the chair.
His back was toward Darcy as he stared out the window. She watched as his trousers pulled tighter across his backside when he shoved his hands in his pockets. His shirt fit perfectly over his wide shoulders, and the ends of his light hair curled slightly over his collar. She didn’t realize that she’d moved closer to him and was surprised to find herself standing just outside the tiny arrangement of chairs, sofa, and glass-top coffee table.
“I’ve been over it a million times in my head,” he said without turning around. “It’s very possible I acted irrationally that night. I have to be honest and tell you that I didn’t show up at your place with the intention of sleeping with you.”
Darcy pressed her teeth into her lower lip. It sounded like he was about ready to apologize for everything, and that would just break her heart.
“I don’t think I’d fully processed what you told me after you stormed out of the karaoke bar. All I knew was that you weren’t speaking to me, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. So I showed up at your place to force you to talk.” He turned toward her and met her gaze head on. “Then one thing led to another.”
Darcy took a deep, labored breath before releasing it. “Isn’t that how all these accidents are explained? I don’t know what happened. One thing led to another, and then…” she joked.
He furrowed his brow at her poor attempt at lightening the mood. “Sure, accidents are explained that way, but what happened wasn’t an accident. At least I don’t think it was. What I’d like to know was why you think it was an accident.”
Darcy threw her arms out at her sides and yelled, “Because friends like us don’t just fall into bed together! You and I weren’t even close to having that sort of relationship. There was never any flirting or a hint of attraction between us. So to go from a platonic friendship to fucking is a giant leap.”
Her heart was breaking all over again. He stood there looking so perfect in his light gray trousers and his crisp white shirt. The top button was open and showed the smooth lines of his strong neck. His blue eyes gleamed as he stared hard at her.
“Do you regret what happened?” he asked finally. The way his voice inflected at the end gave her the impression he really had no idea what her answer might be.
It was the million-dollar question. One she didn’t have to think very hard about.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I don’t regret it.”
It had been like climbing to the top of a mountain. Once you reached the top, you couldn’t stay up there forever. You had to go somewhere. That was their relationship. Something had to happen.
She had been climbing his mountain all her life. The two of them being together was the summit. And although she had to move on and things looked different as she descended the other side, at least she could say she got to see the breathtaking view from the top of the world.
“I don’t regret it either,” he whispered.
Darcy opened her eyes and had to look up. She hadn’t heard him move, but he was standing right in front of her. Reaching down, he took her hand in his. She watched as he ran his thumb over the knuckles of her fingers.
“Why did you throw me out?”
Oh, Jesus. Not this. She’d talk about anything other than this. How was she going to explain that her sudden anger had been from complete and utter mortification? A devastation that she couldn’t please him.
“Because I was embarrassed.”
He raised his eyes to meet hers and there was bewilderment there. “What did you have to be embarrassed of? If anyone should have been embarrassed, it was me.”
She could feel the blood rush up her neck from her chest, staining her cheeks crimson.
“You didn’t—” The words stumbled out of her mouth.
“Didn’t what?” he prompted. “Warm you up enough? Go slow enough?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her whole face on fire from embarrassment. “No,
not that. I didn’t know what I was doing. It was this moment that I’d been thinking about since adolescence, and it happened, and I completely fucked it up.”
He frowned. “You think you fucked it up by being a virgin?”
God, could this conversation get any worse?
She shook her head, unable to keep eye contact. She looked at the way his hand still held hers. She could feel the calluses on the tips of his fingers from all the years going to work sites.
She could tell he was getting impatient because his grip tightened.
“What was it then?” he insisted. “Did you think you moved in some way that I didn’t like? Made a noise or moaned too loudly? ’Cause I can assure you that was not the case.”
For the love of God, make it stop!
“I fucked it up by being me. Why else would you just stop like that?”
His thumb stilled on the tops of her knuckles. Silence fell between them. He must have finally understood.
He crooked his finger under her chin and forced her head up. His eyes were burning and searching her face.
“You think I stopped? You think I had second thoughts and I just… stopped?”
His voice was demanding and held a hint of anger. What the hell did he have to be angry about? It wasn’t like she was accusing him of being horrible in bed or anything.
“We were completely wrapped up in each other and the moment you”—she took a deep breath before she continued—“pushed inside of me, it was like a light bulb went off in your head. You realized what you were doing, and you stopped.”
He frowned. Deep creases formed between his eyes as he glared at her. “Try the moment I pushed inside of you, you felt so goddamn amazing that I completely lost control and fucking shot off within five seconds.”
Darcy’s mouth dropped open, or it would have if he hadn’t been holding her chin up. “You what?”
Sean rolled his eyes. “I got off, Darcy. I finished. Climaxed. Came. Had the best motherfucking orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.”
Her world had officially stopped turning. She blinked up at his stern features, trying to piece together his words. He tipped his head back to laugh at the ceiling. When he looked back at her, relief swam in his eyes.
“You had no idea, did you?” he asked.
All she could do was shake her head. How could she have been so wrong?
Not once in the millions of times she’d thought about that night had she ever come up with that scenario. Even on the rare night when she was feeling hopeful and encouraged by Quinn’s attempts at comforting her. Those nights when she tried to talk herself into believing that maybe she’d had it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t her after all. Even on those nights, she’d never once considered that he hadn’t just stopped, but had gotten off instead.
He chuckled to himself. He slid his hand farther along her jawline to cradle the back of her head.
“If I had known you were blaming yourself all this time, I would have cleared this up a lot sooner. Like I said, if anyone should have been embarrassed, it should have been me for not being able to keep my shit together. But you felt so good it was beyond my control.”
His face had softened, no longer tense, and she watched as his eyes dropped to her mouth. The tip of his tongue licked along the seam of his lower lip, and a bolt of desire hit her straight between her legs. His eyes turned hungry, and it was the same look that had been in his gaze right before they’d slept together the first time.
“Are you okay? Have I cleared up all the misunderstandings about that night?”
He was still looking at her mouth as he spoke, and she tried to keep her breath steady.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He looked back into her eyes, and she released an unsteady breath when she saw all the heat in his gaze.
“I honestly can’t think of anything else right now except getting you out of this dress.”
She swallowed hard. His eyes traveled down her body, pausing at her breasts, which rose and fell with each labored breath.
“Please tell me you bought this dress for me.”
When she could speak, her voice was barely a whisper. “I bought this dress for you.”
“Thank fuck.”
His hand slid further into her hair, twisting her strands between his fingers as he stepped closer.
“I don’t want to push you. I want you to be comfortable with everything. And as much as it would kill me right now, if you don’t want to do anything, I’ll respect your wishes. But Darcy, you gotta know that I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want you right now.”
And with that, she knew she was a goner. She would pretty much stamp his ticket for any ride he wanted to take her on. And goddamn it, her traitorous clitoris was throbbing in rhythm with her heart. Her brain was switching off for the evening, wishing her a pleasant night filled with sweet dreams. She should have known that she’d never be able to resist him.
Not that she’d ever been able to put up much of a fight where he was concerned.
Her heavy eyes slid shut. She could feel his warm breath brush her cheek when he asked, “Can I stay, Darcy?”
She slowly leveled her gaze at him. This was it. She stood on that precipice between taking what she really wanted and doing the smart thing by stopping things before they got further fucked.
Her eyes roamed his handsome face. In mere minutes, she could be in bed with this man. Again.
She could take a chance on this being the beginning of something for them. Something that could eventually turn into Sean loving her as much as she loved him.
Or she could protect her heart once and for all and not let it get any further than this. She could ask him to leave. Explain that she couldn’t take the risk.
As she felt his thumb caress the sensitive spot behind her ear, she knew what she needed to do.
Chapter 21
“Stay.”
The word barely passed her lips before he covered her mouth with his. It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was hungry and demanding. It took Darcy just a second to snap out of her stupor before she finally kissed him back with as much fervor as he kissed her with.
He bit her bottom lip, causing her to whimper in pleasure. With one hand still gripping her hair, his other hand slid into the oval opening at the back of her dress. His fingers burned her skin as he pulled her flush against his hard body. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and their tongues twisted and plunged into each other’s mouths.
He tasted so good. Like the best dessert or the smoothest whiskey.
With a rumbling growl, he pulled his lips away and held her at arm’s length. His eyes, still predatory, shined bright with desire as his chest heaved. Darcy felt so dazed and cold at the loss of his body she moaned involuntarily.
“Fuck, woman,” he panted. “Look what you do to me.”
She loved that she could make him breathless.
Darcy, trying to catch her own breath, tried to step closer but he kept her where she was.
“I’m not making the same mistake I did the last time,” Sean warned. “I’d like nothing better than to bend you over the side of the bed and fuck you senseless, but this time we’re going to take things slow.”
Darcy didn’t see anything wrong with their pace five seconds ago.
“I don’t want slow,” she insisted.
His lips curled at one side. “Let’s try it slow this time. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
As much as she liked the idea of him bending her over the side of the bed, she didn’t much care how they ended up. She just wanted him. And the fact that he somehow wanted her was so heady she probably wouldn’t ever be able to come close to feeling this high again.
She bit her bottom lip, drawing his eyes there. The smirk hadn’t left his face. Damn him, he was so goddamn gorgeous. And he knew he had her in knots right now.
He slowly moved his hand up her bare back to her dress’s clasp at the base of her neck. He deftly unhooked it and slowly
pushed it open, causing one side of the dress to slip down her shoulder.
“As fucking amazing as you look in this dress, it needs to come off.”
Although her skin was fevered, she shivered as he ran his fingertips along the ridge of her collarbone. He lowered his lips to her neck and pressed a lazy line of kisses from her ear to her shoulder. Darcy let her head fall back, the feel of his warm mouth coaxing a breathy sigh from her throat.
He pushed her dress down over both shoulders before it fell and hung loosely at her hips. He raised his head and his eyes roamed her black lacy bra. Thank God she’d decided to buy the lingerie. She could tell Sean liked it. He was staring at her breasts like he was hypnotized… like a magician was swinging a bright, shiny object before him, and he couldn’t take his eyes off it.
“Christ Almighty,” he whispered.
She felt empowered. She felt like a vixen. He might have held the power mere seconds before by demanding they slow things down and by turning her into putty in his hands, but all it took was a flash of her breasts, and he was lost.
Boldly, she slid her thumbs beneath her dress and pushed it the rest of the way down, letting the red fabric pool on the floor. Sean’s eyes slowly made their way to her abdomen to take in her matching black panties that made up the rest of her Lace Temptation set. His nostrils flared and she knew that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
She stepped out of her dress, using the toe of one shoe to toss it aside. She brought her hands to the front of Sean’s chest and started undoing the buttons of his shirt. His chest was hard beneath her fingers, and the thin fabric of his undershirt clung to the contours of his muscles. She pushed his dress shirt off his shoulders and tugged his undershirt from the waist of his trousers. When she started to lift it up his body, he helped her pull it the rest of the way off.
Not In My Wildest Dreams (McKenna Series Book 2) Page 23