There was a break in the rain so I made a run for my car. Thanks for the pancakes.
~ Darcy
She ran to her car in the pouring rain, threw her bag in the back seat, and slipped behind the steering wheel. Her heart was bleeding. She’d just had to open her big fucking mouth and tell Sean all about her pitiful childhood.
Christ, he must think she was complete and utter trash.
###
Sean stared at the desktop calendar on top of his spotless desk. It was completely blank.
Michael had bought the calendars for all the office personnel last year for Christmas. He’d thought it would lead to better organization and productivity.
Honestly, Sean had forgotten he even had one since this was the first time he’d seen it since he’d dropped it on his desk eleven months ago. It was November, and the month of January was still showing.
The trash can beside Sean’s desk had overflowed. He’d completed the insurmountable challenge of clearing off his desk and credenza.
He had begun with one piece of paper and started filing or throwing away, whatever was applicable. He’d even attempted to print out those little file folder labels but couldn’t get the fucking things to print properly. So he had saved the template and emailed it to Rebecca to print out the damn things in the morning.
His desk was clean. His inbox was clean. He’d even shined the hard hat he kept hanging on the back of his office door for when he went out on a jobsite. If it needed cleaning, he’d cleaned it. And now he was out of things to clean.
The only thing left to do was sit behind his desk and look at last January’s empty calendar.
Fuck.
He was a goddamn coward.
Darcy had shared some heavy shit with him. Not exactly the light breakfast conversation he had hoped for, yet one thing had led to another, and he’d asked her to tell him about her parents.
Jesus, was he sorry he’d asked. Because at least if he hadn’t asked, he wouldn’t be sitting here at the moment wishing he could peel open his skull and scrape his brain clean of all the horrible fucked-up shit she’d told him.
Her story was one nightmare after another. And as she’d told him, seemingly indifferent to the monumental fucked-up mess it was, it’d felt like she was pushing his head under water an inch at a time.
At the end, when she’d told him that her father had hit her, Sean had felt himself go under. He hadn’t been able to breathe under the weight of her burden. And all she’d done was shrug, like it was no big deal.
It was a fucking huge deal.
Fucking. Huge.
His blood boiled at the thought of a ten-year-old girl having to go through that. Not having food to eat. Not having love or compassion. Forced to sing for strangers in the hopes that they would drop a few coins in an empty hat, and all the while knowing that the money wasn’t going to put a meal on the table, it was going to be used to buy drugs and alcohol so her parents could get wasted.
Those motherfuckers.
This anger wasn’t there just because Darcy was the girl he was dating. It was there because it had happened to Darcy, the girl he’d befriended when he was ten years old. Darcy, the girl who was his best friend.
His Darcy.
All this time she’d been keeping this part of her life a giant secret. And fuck him, it mattered. He’d never be able to look at her again and not think of it. He’d never be able to look into her eyes and not imagine the innocent girl who’d had to deal with all that shit.
“Fuck!” he yelled and rubbed his hands over his face.
He pushed his palms flat against his forehead. He didn’t know how to deal with this. He’d felt like the biggest, heartless dick after he’d come out of the shower that morning and found Darcy gone.
A part of him had been relieved. He’d needed more time to process things.
But fuck him, she’d left a note. And he had known from her short message that she was upset. Of course she would be! He’d left her sitting at the table with some lame excuse that he had to work. He had basically deserted her.
God, I’m such a fucking coward.
Just as Sean started tearing away the completed months on his desk calendar, Michael stuck his head in. The older man looked surprised as he walked into Sean’s office and sat down.
“What the hell are you doing here on a Sunday?” he asked.
“I had some things I wanted to finish up.”
Michael looked around the newly cleaned office and raised a single eyebrow. “You spruced up the place.”
“It was in need of sprucing.” Sean gave a halfhearted laugh.
The older man studied him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Sean nodded. “I just have a few things on my mind.”
“Must be pretty heavy if it made you clean your office. You wanna talk about it?”
“No, but thanks for the offer.”
Michael narrowed his eyes. “Does this have anything to do with a girl?”
It had everything to do with a girl. A very important girl.
“No.”
His partner nodded slowly and rubbed at his jaw. “All right. Since we’re both here, how about giving me an update on the Wellington project.”
Sean relayed the progress they’d made on the work site. So far things were on schedule and at budget. Michael was pleased. Sean knew that the Wellington job was the biggest one that their company had ever had. Michael wasn’t trying to micromanage. He was just eager for news, just like everyone else in the company.
“How have all the subcontractors been working out? Is everyone meeting your expectations?”
Sean nodded. “Yeah, so far everyone has been great. Fingers crossed, but I’d say this is the best group we’ve ever assembled for a project.”
“Glad to hear it. I’m not even going to ask how Darcy is doing.” Michael smiled. “That girl is a spark plug. Maybe we should talk to her about keeping her on retainer.”
Just the mention of Darcy’s name pierced Sean right through the chest. “Yeah, maybe we should.”
“I have something I’d like to talk to you about,” the older man started. “I’ve been thinking about taking an extended vacation over the holidays. The wife and I want to go visit our daughter and grandkids in San Diego.”
“Oh, yeah? Good for you. You deserve it.”
“We were thinking from mid-December through the end of January. Think you’re up for taking the lead on all projects while I’m away?”
Sean smiled. “You know I am.”
“There shouldn’t be that many new projects. Just those two new bids we’re already preparing for. If you’d like, we could meet tomorrow after lunch so I can catch you up on all my current jobs. You can start attending the production meetings for them.”
“Absolutely. Let me just check my calendar.” Sean looked down at his empty November. “Yep, I’m free tomorrow after lunch.”
Michael laughed and headed for the door. “You better pencil me in, kid. Looks like your schedule is filling up fast.”
As his partner left his office, Sean took a deep breath. He felt his chest expand, and he smiled. Michael was entrusting him with a huge responsibility. He was basically handing over the keys to the castle for more than a month.
Besides running his own projects, Sean had been waiting for the opportunity to show Michael that he had what it took to run things. Michael was nearing retirement age, but Sean knew that there was no way the older man would retire if he had any reservations about the future of Rolland Construction. And Sean really wanted that future to be him as CEO.
Sean dug his cell phone out of his jacket and was about to dial Darcy’s number to share his good news when he stopped. He stared at her name on his contact list for a long time.
He wished he wasn’t so horrible at expressing his emotions. He couldn’t even begin to tell her how her story made him feel. He just needed some more time to sift through things before he was ready to talk to her.
Maybe
his mom was right. Maybe he was an ostrich with his head in the sand.
Instead of dialing Darcy’s number, he shoved his phone back in his pocket. He told himself that he’d call her later.
Chapter 25
“Are you serious?” Darcy demanded.
She felt her temper start to unravel as she clutched the phone to her ear, looking out over Grandma Nell’s backyard.
“God, I wish I wasn’t,” Sean said. “I’m sorry, Darce, but you know how busy I’ve been at work. I can’t make it for dinner tonight.”
The fact that she heard the sincerity in Sean’s voice didn’t stop her from wanting to reach through the phone and strangle him.
“I really thought I’d be able to get away. But this stupid meeting is still going strong and there’s no way I can finish up here and be in Ballagh by seven o’clock.” He was pretty much begging her to understand.
“Fine,” she conceded.
She heard his short sigh of relief blow into the receiver.
After her big reveal three weeks ago, she hadn’t been sure what would happen between them. Sean had come down to Providence the following weekend. To her surprise, he’d sheepishly apologized for running out on her that day. She was glad he’d been the one to bring it up. It was a rather quick apology and then he had kissed her.
And it had been a great kiss… great enough that she’d forgiven him.
The rest of the weekend had passed without a hitch and everything went back to normal. Normal being a minimum of three orgasms a day when they were together.
Yet something lurked in the back of Darcy’s mind. Something ugly and dark with big pointy teeth, like a relationship grim reaper.
Maybe it was the fact that he’d never mentioned anything about what she’d told him. Or maybe it was her own stupid insecurities that seemed to be popping up a lot.
She just couldn’t shake the feeling that everything wasn’t okay with Sean. That somehow her show-and-tell had inexplicably changed them.
“You know I’m not doing this intentionally,” Sean pleaded. “Please don’t be upset with me.”
Michael Rolland was taking an extended leave, and Sean was going to be in charge. Every time he’d called, he was either just leaving a meeting or on his way to one.
She knew Sean was sorry he couldn’t be there for dinner. But when she turned and saw her grandmother through the back window, sliding a tray of homemade rolls into the oven, Darcy didn’t really give a shit how sorry he was.
“I’m mad at the situation. I know you’re busy. But it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.” Darcy stared out at the backyard of her Grandmother’s house. Most of the leaves were down and the trees would be naked in a couple weeks. She took a deep breath. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
Silence answered her.
“Let me guess. You have to work.”
“Yeah,” he replied, sounding as if he was wincing on the other end. “I think I’m just going to stay in Boston this weekend. I’m gonna call my mom after I get off the phone with you. She’s gonna have a shit fit.”
“All right.” Darcy sighed.
“I was actually planning to tell my parents about you and me at Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, but since I’m not coming down, I’ll just tell my mom over the phone one of these days.”
She felt kinda numb. Like someone had been knocking her around for a while, and she didn’t care anymore. Her eyes dropped to her shoes as a few fallen leaves scratched along the concrete patio in front of her. She’d bought a new outfit for their Thanksgiving dinner… a black-and-white woolen cowl-neck sweater over black leggings and a new pair of black ankle boots.
“I’d love it if you could come up to Boston this weekend,” Sean said. “I’ll be in the office during the days, but at night I can be all yours.”
That thought should have gotten her blood boiling with anticipation. Instead, she couldn’t shake that niggling feeling of being taken advantage of.
“I wouldn’t be able to make it up until Friday night. I promised my Grandma I’d help her put up the outside Christmas decorations if the weather was nice.”
“You know the thought of you up on a ladder kinda scares me. Unless I was at the bottom of that ladder staring up at your ass. Then the thought of you on a ladder kinda turns me on.”
“Yeah, well, it’s too bad you aren’t going to be here. I always decorate the house wearing a skirt and crotch-less panties.”
He barked out a laugh. “How am I supposed to go back to my meeting with that visual?”
“I’m sure you’ll manage.”
The lighthearted banter might be making Sean feel better, but it did nothing to dampen the disappointment Darcy felt. She’d pictured Sean sitting next to her at dinner, charming the aprons off Grandma Nell and Phee. Taking ahold of her hand under the table. Kissing her good night as she walked him to his car. It was what real couples did on Thanksgiving.
“I’ll call you later tonight, okay?”
His voice was hopeful. She knew he really did feel bad for cancelling.
“Okay.”
“Bye, Darcy.”
“Bye, Sean.”
She let her arm holding the phone fall to her side as she disconnected the call. Because Sean’s family had such a big feast on Thanksgiving Day for their immediate family, Darcy had asked her grandmother if they could have their holiday dinner the night before so Sean would be able to come.
Or not.
Darcy went through the back door, and all the wonderful smells that came with the season drifted to her nose. Her grandmother was mashing the potatoes, and Phee was basting the turkey in the oven. Its golden skin glistened in the oven’s interior light, and the heat rose from it in invisible waves. Bing Crosby crooned from the old-fashioned record player in the sitting room. The table was beautifully decorated with four place settings.
“Sean’s not coming.”
Both Grandma Nell and Phee stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Phee frowned in confusion. Her grandmother’s dark blue eyes assessed Darcy.
“He sends his regrets, but he’s stuck at work and won’t make it to dinner.”
Phee stood up straight and stretched her back. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”
Darcy let out a long breath and slumped down into one of the dining room chairs. Unfortunate, yes. And as much as she tried not to let her mind wander that way, she wondered if it was conveniently unfortunate for Sean.
Was his Thanksgiving cancellation really a coincidence? She hoped it was.
“I’m sorry, dear,” her grandmother said. “I know you must be disappointed.”
Darcy looked up and noticed Grandma Nell was still staring at her. Her eyebrows were drawn together. She wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and came over to sit next to Darcy. “I’m sure he wishes he could be here instead of work.”
Darcy nodded. She wanted to believe that.
Her grandmother tilted her head and studied her. “You look worried.”
“What are you worried for, dear?” Phee asked, not lifting her head from the oven.
“It’s really nothing.”
“It wouldn’t be nothing if it makes you worry.” Grandma Nell placed her arthritic hand over Darcy’s on her lap. It was warm and comforting.
Darcy sighed. “I told Sean about my mom and dad. About my childhood.”
Phee looked over at them. “So?”
“So”—Darcy raised her brows—“he knows the whole ugly truth about me now. And I can’t help but think it’s changed the way he feels about me.”
Phee huffed a dismissal and turned back to the turkey. Grandma Nell squeezed her hand. “I’m sure that’s not the case, my little dove. And there’s not one single part of you that’s ugly. Don’t you forget it.”
Darcy nodded. “I’m sorry about making you rearrange Thanksgiving. It was all for nothing.”
“Nonsense,” her grandma said. “We’re going to have a lovely meal tonight and have enough left over to have another lo
vely meal tomorrow. Sounds perfect to me.”
The older lady stood up and walked back over to the potatoes and commenced mashing. Both Grandma Nell and Phee obviously thought Sean’s absence at dinner and the fact that he knew all about her past weren’t anything to worry about. Darcy wished she felt the same.
###
“Are you serious, Sean?” his mother asked.
He rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. Counting to ten never worked with his mother. She would never let him get to ten nanoseconds let alone ten seconds.
“But it’s Thanksgiving!” she exclaimed. “We’re always together on Thanksgiving.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. It’s just not looking like I’ll be able to make it home this year.”
“So it’s not looking like it now. What if it starts looking like it later? Is that a possibility?”
“No, Mom.”
He heard a short, strangled sound that sounded like a rusted door hinge or maybe a dying bird. Sound rustled on the other end loudly enough that Sean had to pull his office phone away from his ear so he wouldn’t go deaf.
“Mom? Are you still there?”
“Hello?” a deep voice answered on the other end.
“Ewan?”
“Hey. Your mom just stormed through the room and shoved the phone in my chest.”
Figured. Sean was almost happy he wasn’t going to be at Thanksgiving. Every time he came home, it was drama, drama, drama… like a fucking soap opera.
“I’m not coming home for Thanksgiving. I’ve gotta work.”
“That explains it.” There was a touch of humor in Ewan’s even tone.
“Yeah, she’s not happy. Neither is Darcy. Are there any other women in the house that I can piss off?”
“Quinn’s here. And Megan’s supposed to get here sometime tomorrow morning.”
Fuck. He was definitely glad he wasn’t going to be there for Thanksgiving. Sean hadn’t known his sister was coming.
“Just Megan though,” Ewan added. “Niall has to work.”
Megan by herself wasn’t so bad. Yeah, his parents would fawn all over her. Fan her with palm leaves and throw grapes in her mouth or some shit like that. But it was her douchebag husband who was the cherry on the drama cake. Megan without Niall was definitely more bearable.
Not In My Wildest Dreams (McKenna Series Book 2) Page 29