by Bella J
Fuck that.
I grabbed her hand again. “Just give me a few minutes to escort Tatum back to our room.”
“It’s fine, Castello. I can manage finding my own way back.” She smiled, but it did nothing to silence the voices of doubt swirling around inside my brain, threatening to drive me mad.
“No. I’ll take you.”
We started down the hall, and it was like I could hear the wheels turning in Tatum’s head while she walked beside me. And the fact that she was staring a hole through my forehead didn’t help.
“Why are you staring at me?”
“Are you afraid that I’ll try to leave?”
“No. I’m afraid you’ll get lost in this huge goddamn house.”
“So you’re confident that I won’t leave the first chance I get?”
I pulled my hand through my hair, taking a deep breath. Just thinking about her leaving made my blood boil. It was impossible for me to even ponder the thought of her no longer waiting for me in the bedroom without standing on the brink of losing myself to anger.
“Answer me, Castello.”
I lost it.
With a jerk of her hand I swirled her around and pushed her against the wall, bringing my face inches from hers.
“I see we still have to work on your capacity to keep your mouth shut when the situation demands it.”
“Is this a situation that demands my silence?”
“Any situation that angers me is a situation that demands your silence.”
She lifted her chin. “A confident man shouldn’t get angered so easily.”
I grabbed her upper arms, pulling her closer. “And a woman in your position should learn to know her place.”
“What position am I in, Castello? Where exactly is my place?”
“Where I fucking say it is!”
My voice boomed down the hall, my anger echoing in every word. The way Tatum stared at me with bewilderment I knew I had scared her. But I didn’t care. Maybe it was a good thing, Tatum being scared of me. Maybe if she feared me, she wouldn’t dare walk away from me.
I let go of her arms, and her shoulders slumped forward while she took a few steady breaths.
Jesus. She was scared of me.
With a deep breath, I held out my hand to her. “Come on.” But she didn’t take my hand. She straightened and looked me in the eye with a cold, hardened expression on her beautiful face.
“Am I still your prisoner, Castello?”
Goddammit. I wasn’t ready for her to ask that question. I knew the words swirled around inside her mind ever since we got here, burning the tip of her tongue. But somehow I’ve managed to avoid this conversation…until now.
The truth was, I didn’t know the answer to her question. Deep down I wasn’t sure whether she was still my prisoner or not. All I knew was that there was no way in hell I’d ever let her go…in other words, my answer depended on whether she would leave or not if given the choice.
I gave a step back, never taking my eyes off her. “Only you hold the answer to that question, little mouse.”
“What does that even mean?”
I reached out and placed my palm against her cheek. “I’m never letting you go, Tatum. So it’s up to you whether you’re my prisoner or not.”
I didn’t wait for her to respond. I grabbed her elbow and started down the hall, a heavy silence hanging over us like a threatening storm. It was suffocating, almost impossible to breathe amidst all the confusion and conflicting emotions that raged all around us. She expected me to give her an honest answer, she wanted me to tell her the truth about what was really happening between us. But I couldn’t. Honesty wasn’t something I could give her right now since I wasn’t even sure what the fuck was happening between us.
She didn’t say anything. Like an obedient pet, a silent prisoner, she let me lead her to the bedroom we had shared up until now. The bastard in me loved it, the way she so easily slipped into that role. But the man in me hated it. Hated seeing her lowering herself to nothing but a…slave.
I opened the door, and gestured for her to walk in. She didn’t look at me as she made her way into the bedroom, which was probably a good thing since I wasn’t sure how I would handle the disappointment that was probably plastered all over her face.
“I’ll be back soon.”
She didn’t reply, so I closed the door, and stared at the mahogany wood for a few seconds before I decided to do something I had never done before.
I turned the key…and locked the door.
3
CASTELLO
On my way to the study I kept my hand in my pocket, rubbing the bedroom key between my fingers. Fucking thing felt like it weighed a ton. It was probably a stupid thing to do, locking the bedroom door. But deep down the selfish bastard in me loved knowing she was safely locked in and there was absolutely no risk of her not being in there when I got back.
I’m pretty sure there’s a special place in hell for fuckers like me.
Ever since we arrived here that bedroom door had never been locked. It wasn’t like it never occurred to me to lock her in. I was just trying to smother and suffocate that part of me, the part that wanted all control over her. Deep down I knew that if I wanted to keep her, if I wanted to make sure that she didn’t want to leave, I had to start acting like a man, and less like a selfish prick. Every goddamn morning I would wake up and stare at her, thinking that I had to try harder. I had to make her want to stay. But after what just happened—me losing my shit—it was fucking with my head, knowing she could leave at any moment if that door wasn’t locked and bolted shut.
It was a mistake, the game we played. The game where I wanted her to run from me so I could hunt her little ass, and show her who she truly belonged to. And God knew, while she ran from me I loved it, yet I hated it, too. The animal in me relished the chase, yet the bastard in me hated the fact that she even thought it possible for her to run from me. Did she not know there was no way in hell she would ever be free of me? I’m the demon that had his claws tightly wrapped around her. The devil that would bind her in hell for all eternity if it meant I never had to see her run from me again.
Good God, I was going insane.
The second I walked into the study and saw Uncle Gino’s face, I knew exactly why he wanted to see me.
“What did my little brother do now?”
He sat down on the couch and took a sip of his drink. “It has come to my attention that Vico has approached our supplier in Mexico.”
“Approached him for what?” I walked over the table and poured myself one.
“Weapons. Vico has been using this situation to his advantage. He’s spreading the word that you have betrayed the family and you are no longer seen as a Fattore.”
I closed my eyes after placing the decanter down. “That son of a bitch.”
“It was only a matter of time before Vico did something like this.”
I walked over to the window. “Yes, well, it’s only been a short while. My mother’s corpse isn’t even cold yet.”
An image of my mother’s dead body flashed through my mind. Her blood pooled around her while I held the gun, my finger still on the trigger. Everything happened so fast, and the only thing I remembered was relief. Bone numbing relief that I had stopped my mother in time to save Tatum. What kind of man, what kind of son, thinks that way, feels that way after shooting and killing his own mother?
Again…special place in hell.
“I’m afraid the time has come for you to make a decision, Castello.”
I glowered over my shoulder at him before turning my gaze back out the window. “A decision about what?”
He got up from his seat. “About where you fit in with all of this.”
“You know I’ve never quite fit into anything when it comes to this family.”
“You’re different, Castello. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be the leader of this family. In fact, you being different might be exactly what this family needs.�
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I snorted. “I tried doing that, remember? And look how that all turned out.”
Uncle Gino stepped in next to me, also gazing out the window. “The lives that were lost is tragic, but maybe something good can come out of all of this.”
“Good? Like what?”
He turned to face me. “Like you claiming your rightful place as leader of this family without others’ motives interfering with your leadership.”
I could see it in his eyes as he stared at me. The expectation, the hope that I might rise up to the occasion and take my place on the so-called Fattore throne. The truth was, I never felt the need to lead. It was probably because my dead twin brother was always the one that got groomed and trained to be the Boss once my father stepped down. Me being the heir never crossed my mind once. But that was life—it hardly ever turned out the way you thought or hoped it would. Now I found myself at a crossroad, and Uncle Gino was right. I needed to make a decision. I had to man up and protect what was rightfully mine.
I glanced back out the window. “Vico will never accept me as leader of this family. It seems like he has already claimed that place.”
“It is not his to claim.”
“He seems to think so.” I took two large gulps of bourbon. Talking about my little brother wasn’t something I could do without losing my temper.
Uncle Gino turned around and leisurely walked to the table. “Vico is too ambitious for his own good. His hunger for power clouds his judgment, and he’s too blind to see that he is not capable of running this family.”
“You try telling him that.”
“Your little brother is young and stupid. I’m afraid his stupidity will guide him, and he won’t stop until he’s proven to everyone that he is the rightful Boss of the Fattore family.”
“And to do that he needs to kill me.” I swallowed the last bit of my drink and joined Uncle Gino by the table.
“Not necessarily.” He poured himself another drink. “You killed your mother, Vico’s mother, in order to save the person that, in his eyes, was the reason he lost a brother and a father. To him, and a lot of other members of this family, Tatum is to blame for everything.”
I slammed my empty glass down on the table. “Lies! Those are all fucking lies, and I proved it.”
“Yes. You proved it the same day you spilled your mother’s blood. Now tell me, Castello, how would you feel, how would you react if you were on the other side of this situation?”
“Were you not the one who told me that my mother was a liar? That she was manipulating all of us?”
“Yes. And the day you opened your eyes to your mother’s lies was one of the happiest days of my life.”
“Then why does it sound like you’re accusing me?”
He stepped closer, and I had to ball my fists in an attempt to control my anger, my confusion as to what the hell Uncle Gino was trying to say.
“I’m not accusing you of anything, Castello. I know you acted on impulse and did what you thought was right. I don’t think killing your mother was something you did intentionally. But Vico does, and I’m trying to let you see why his sole purpose now would be to destroy you.”
I poured myself another drink and tossed the alcohol down my throat in one huge gulp. “If Vico thinks he has it in him to destroy me, he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought.”
“Do not underestimate your brother, Castello. He has already played one card by having the balls to approach a supplier this family has been working with for the last twenty years.”
“He won’t succeed in his endeavor by trying to discredit me, Uncle.”
He grabbed my shoulders and I could see the resolve, the determination in his eyes as he stared at me. “Then you need to take what is rightfully yours. You need to make every member of this family see, including your little brother, that you are the rightful leader. Not Vico. Now think, boy, think about what you would have done if you were in Vico’s shoes. If you were the one who saw his own brother murder their mother, saving the woman he hated the most.”
It took me all but two seconds to realize that I would probably have felt exactly the same way Vico did. If it was me, I would have demanded revenge. I would have done everything in my power to destroy those I felt was guilty…like I did when I still blamed Tatum for the loss of my twin brother.
The answer was simple. “I would destroy those responsible.”
“How?”
“By letting him feel pain worse than death. I would take from him that which he hold dearest.”
Uncle Gino let go of my arms and stepped back. “And what do you hold dearest, Castello?”
Jesus. Deep down I knew this all along.
Deep down I knew that Vico would want Tatum dead. But somehow I convinced myself that he would want to bury my corpse much more than hers. And I had silently hoped that Vico would be happy just by having half of the Fattore family under his command, following him. But now…now that I finally saw this entire situation through Vico’s eyes, there was no doubt in my mind that Tatum would be his target.
“I won’t let him touch her.”
“You did once.”
I narrowed my eyes, glaring at him. “That was different.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”
He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And how was it any different then than it is now?”
Anger started to simmer inside my gut, my vision slowly starting to turn into shades of red. The memory of Vico beating Tatum, bound by chains and hanging naked from the ceiling, infested my mind.
It was all my doing. I started it. I was the one that hung her by those chains in the first place. And by God, I loved the sight. I loved how vulnerable she looked. How she stared at me with pleading eyes, knowing all too well that she was completely and utterly at my mercy. Right then I already knew that fucking Tatum was inevitable. I knew that my rage, and my hunger for revenge wasn’t nearly as strong as my desire to unleash the sexual dominance she so desperately craved. It was written all over her face, the evidence engraved with white scars on her body. She yearned for something more, something that stemmed from darkness, yet shamelessly bloomed in her soul.
I knew while I stared at her body being ripped apart by Vico’s belt that I would be the man that gave her the darkness she desired. And as I counted every lash, endured every scream that came out of her mouth, I knew that I would never allow another man to lay a single hand on her body ever again. She was mine. And she became mine the second she got carried through my front door and placed behind the prison walls I had specially made for her.
I gulped down the last of my drink. “Do you want to know what’s different, Uncle?” I poured myself another glass. “I’m different. I’m a different bastard now than I was that day.”
“And why is that, Castello?”
I snorted as I turned around to face him again. “Back then I was the bastard who had a woman kidnapped, beaten, and humiliated for his own selfish needs. And now…now I’m the bastard who has that same woman locked in his bedroom, but for some entirely different selfish reasons.”
“You need to stop.”
I snorted. “Stop what? I already started this war between me and my little brother by choosing her above my own family. There’s no stopping it now.”
“Then you better man up and get that goddamn confused look off your face.”
I scowled. “Confused?”
He threw his empty glass across the room, pieces of glass shattering against the wall. “You walk around looking like a man that doesn’t know where he belongs. Like a man that doesn’t know what the fuck is going on in here.” He slammed his fist against his own chest. “You need to decide what the hell it is you want, and then you take it, and you make sure that no one, and I mean no one, ever takes it from you.”
I bit down on my bottom lip. He was right. I was confused. Every time I looked into those beautiful sapphire blue eyes I was confused as fuck. I didn’t understand how one woma
n could change so much, make me feel so many different feelings all at once.
One moment I felt like I needed her more than I needed air. The next moment I looked at her and I couldn’t stop thinking that everything that happened, Carlos death, me killing both Nicollo and my mother, this war that simmered between me and Vico, it was all because of her.
I killed my own flesh and blood because of her. My family was now divided, because of her. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from wanting this woman more than I wanted anything in this entire goddamn, motherfucking world. How the fuck was that possible? Blaming someone just as much as needing that same person?
I squared my shoulders and looked at Uncle Gino, hoping like hell he didn’t see all the conflicting emotions running rampant inside me. “I’m trying to figure all this out.”
Uncle Gino stepped up, his dark stare pinned on me. If I wasn’t such a confident asshole I would have felt intimidated by the stone cold look he had on his face. “That woman you currently have locked up in your bedroom in my house will either be your saving grace or your downfall, Castello. I pray it’s not the latter. But if you keep on treating her like your prisoner I can guarantee she will destroy you.”
I snorted, and shook my head before looking him square in the eye. “It’s too late for that, Uncle. She already has.”
4
TATUM
The second I heard him lock the bedroom door, I knew I had acted foolishly. I pushed him. I provoked him by asking the question I knew he wasn’t ready to answer. But I was getting restless, confusion taking its toll on my mind, my sanity.
Ever since we got here I had no desire to leave the room. I had no desire to face reality, but rather to stay here between these four walls and live inside the world Castello and I had created for ourselves. Our world felt safer. I felt stronger. And I liked it.
On the inside of our world nothing else mattered. Death, money, lies, deceit, sadness…nothing mattered but us and this weirdly twisted bond we seemed to share. I didn’t want to step out of this bubble we were in only to face a reality I wasn’t sure I would be strong enough to survive.