Contents
Title Page
A note from the author
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
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Legal Notice
Single Wide Female Travels
(Book 6)
Sammy in Thailand
By
Lillianna Blake
Copyright © 2016 Lillianna Blake
Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers
All rights reserved.
LilliannaBlake.com
Dear Reader,
The Single Wide Female and B.I.G. Girls Club books are written for every woman out there who has struggled with their weight, self-esteem and any number of issues that we all face as we work to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be.
They are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but I do hope that they will inspire you—to REALLY live your life to the fullest, loving yourself completely as you do so.
You might prefer to get to know Sammy in the Single Wide Female: The Bucket List series first. You can pick up that first book for free here:
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http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00R334AE4
If you enjoy Sammy in Thailand, I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to leave an honest review here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01ICBEOPK/
And…
** I have a FREE book for you! **
Wanna know what inspired Sammy to write her bucket list? Visit my website below and get your complimentary copy of “Sammy’s Big Plan!”
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Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lillianna
P.S. Also be sure to see the previews following this page for introductions to additional series by Lillianna Blake.
Chapter 1
Arriving in Bangkok, Thailand was like stepping into an entirely new phase of my life. It wasn’t just the anticipation of culture shock. It was the transition that Max and I had recently made from being a couple, to being a couple that expected to have children at some point in our future. To most, that might not seem like a huge change, but to me it was quite a shift. If I wasn’t careful, I could easily obsess about the how and when of our plans for a family. Luckily though, I had Thailand to distract me. And distract me it did.
Just the flight to Thailand had been enough to make me feel a bit like a mammoth in a field of gazelles.
The Thai men and women that I saw sitting around me seemed to all be thin, delicate, and very well-groomed.
As I flopped off the plane with my hair rumpled and my clothes wrinkled, I wondered how anyone in Thailand could possibly be a fan of my book. If they were, they would likely change their opinion the moment they saw me.
Max shouldered the carry-on bags and we collected the rest from the baggage carousel. On our way out the door to get a taxi, we bumped elbows as we both tried to fit through the door.
“I’m sorry, Sammy. I’m a little sleepy from the flight.” Max stepped back from the door so that I could pass through.
I heard a little giggle from somewhere behind me, but when I turned around there were too many people to pick out who it might have been. I shook my head and reminded myself not to be paranoid. Even if someone had been laughing, it was not likely that they were laughing at me.
Max hailed a taxi and the driver stepped out to put the bags into the trunk. He stared at me as he took the bags from my hands. Max opened the door so that I could slide in. To my surprise, the driver reached out and patted my stomach with a chuckle.
“You’re quite fat, aren’t you?”
My eyes widened as I stared at him. I told myself that I’d heard him wrong, or perhaps he was trying to be funny, but it was pretty hard to take his comment in any positive way.
“Excuse me?”
“Your waist—it’s very round.” He poked my side.
“Watch it.” Max grabbed his hand and pushed it away.
Instantly the man’s wide smile faded and his cheeks grew red.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.” He hurried to the driver’s side door and got inside the taxi.
“Max, did you hear what he said to me?” I looked at him as my cheeks burned with humiliation.
“Yes, I heard him. Try not to take it to heart, Sammy. I’m sure he just said the wrong thing. He probably meant something else.”
“Sure.”
I slid into the taxi and avoided looking at the driver. I wasn’t as certain as Max about what the man had said to me. Clearly I was quite a bit rounder than many other women coming out of the airport, but that didn’t mean that he needed to point it out to me. I had lost quite a bit of weight—well, some had rebounded onto my midsection during my travels—but it wasn’t as if I was the largest woman on earth. I fumed as the driver headed toward our hotel.
Max, apparently noticing my mood, patted my hand. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear.
“You want me to beat him up? I will if you want me to.”
“No.” I laughed at the thought. Max was slender, but he wasn’t a small man. Compared to the driver he could have been a giant himself. “It’s okay. You’re right. I won’t let it ruin the trip.”
“Good. Because you are by far the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
I noticed that he didn’t lower his voice when he paid me the compliment. I was sure it was as much meant for the driver to hear as it was for me.
At the hotel I noticed many of the staff seemed to be staring at me. I told myself it was because they knew I was there for a book signing—and to not get upset by it. But it was impossible not to notice the direction their eyes took—from my large chest to my pillowy waist to my ample thighs. It was as if they were shocked by the sight of such thickness.
I closed the hotel door behind us and sighed.
“Max, I think Thailand might be a mistake.”
“Why is that?” He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me. “From the numbers attending your book signing, I’d say you have quite a fan base here.”
“Fan base? Or people hoping to see a sideshow freak?”
“What do you mean?” He frowned and patted the bed beside him. “Come talk to me about it.”
I sat down beside him and sighed. “I’m pretty sure that everyone is staring at me because of my size.”
“What size? You’re gorgeous, Sammy.”
“To you, Max—and I appreciate that. But I don’t need sugarcoating right now. I need honesty. Did you notice that there are no fat women here?”
“We’ve only been here for a short time—and you’re not fat—and no, I haven’t noticed any of the other women, beca
use my eyes are always on you.”
“Sugarcoating.” I locked eyes with him.
“It’s not.” He grasped my hands and looked back into my eyes. “I mean it. It’s hard for me to pay attention to other people when I’m with you. Anyway, what are you so worried about?”
“I think they might just be coming to the book signing to make fun of me, Max.” I bit into my bottom lip as I realized just how juvenile that sounded. I flashed back to a memory of being afraid to stand up in front of the class, because a classmate might taunt me. I’d had that fear quite a bit during school. It was something that I thought I’d overcome.
“Sammy.” He released one of my hands and brushed his fingers through my hair. “That’s not what’s going to happen. You know that. Don’t let your fear run away with you. You’re a famous author; you’re here because you have a strong following and these women want to meet you.”
“But why?” I picked up a magazine for local attractions from the small dinette table in our room. “What inspiration could these women possibly gain from me?” The women on the cover of the magazine were rail thin with perfect hair, perfect make-up, and a glow in their eyes that I’d never seen in mine. They seemed to hold some secret to beauty that everyone else on earth had missed out on.
“Your confidence. Your determination to embrace life. Your belief that a woman is not defined by this.” Max jabbed his finger at the magazine. “Remember?”
I took a deep breath, then blew it out through tight lips. “You’re right. I’m overreacting. I’m sure that taxi driver was just a little off.”
“I think so.” He wrapped his arms around me and gazed into my eyes. “Because I love every sensual inch of you.”
“I know, I know.” I started to pull away, but he held me firm.
“Maybe you need a reminder?”
He kissed me and all my worries eased. His fingertips fluttered across the skin of my cheeks, my neck, my shoulders. I felt his love in the way he caressed me with such a savoring touch.
We christened our first night in Thailand with a reminder of just how much Max adored me.
Chapter 2
The next morning my spirits were a little higher. I had a lunch meeting set up with my Thailand contact, but before that Max and I planned to try a local restaurant for breakfast.
Once we were dressed we headed out of the hotel. The traffic was fairly heavy in the area of the hotel, but not just from cars. Motorbikes whizzed past and throngs of people hurried along the sidewalk.
“That’s it, I think.” Max pointed to a small door.
It struck me as odd, since I was accustomed to much wider and taller entrances.
Max held the door open for me and we walked into a half-full restaurant. The tables were close together, with slender chairs pushed up to them. Max chose a table and pulled out a chair for me.
“Oh, here, let me get you something different.” A waiter rushed up and grabbed the chair before I could sit down. He whisked the spindly chair away and returned with a thick, short wooden chair.
I stared at him as he held it out for me. “I could have sat just fine in the other chair.”
“Yes, but it’s expensive and I don’t want it to break.”
“You can’t be serious.” Max frowned.
“Max, don’t. It’s okay. This chair is fine.” I tried to hide the tears in my eyes as I sat down in it. It made a loud scraping sound across the floor when I slid it forward.
“Are you sure you’re okay? We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”
“Max, don’t worry about me. I’m here, let’s eat. Okay?”
“Okay.” He frowned and looked toward the waiter.
From the clench of his jaw I could tell that he wanted to give the waiter a piece of his mind.
“I’m sure it’s just a cultural thing, Max. Let’s just ignore it.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
Once we’d ordered our breakfast I began to calm down a little. So it was embarrassing to have my size pointed out. That had been part of my life for as long as I could remember. I’d worked very hard to overcome the judgment of others. However, as I looked around the restaurant I noticed that each person there was immaculately dressed and just about the same size. It was no different with the staff. No wonder I was such a novelty to them.
The waiter brought over a large plate of tong koh—a type of fried bread—and set it down in front of me. I smiled and nudged the plate between Max and me.
“It’s nice that we’ll get to share.”
The waiter set down another plate—a much smaller portion—in front of Max.
“This is ridiculous.” Max glared at the waiter. “We’re leaving.”
“I’m sorry. Is something wrong?” The waiter looked between us with an eager smile.
All at once it struck me that the waiter’s efforts were not intended to make fun of me. He was genuinely trying to please me, and because I was larger than Max he assumed that I required a larger portion.
“This looks delicious. Let’s eat Max.” I smiled at him and nodded at the waiter.
“Sammy, I can’t just sit here and let him—”
“You can and you will. I’m choosing to stay. He is not trying to offend me, and this looks delicious. I’m starving.”
“Really?” He stared across the table at me. “You’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” I shoved a piece of bread in my mouth. It melted against my tongue. It was delicious. But that didn’t change the churn of my stomach. I wanted to enjoy the food, but all of my confidence was crumbling. I could look strong and composed on the surface, but underneath a crack had begun to form, and it was threatening to lead to a full shattering. The more I attempted to keep my emotions in check, the more they threatened to spill over.
By the time we finished breakfast I’d bitten the inside of my cheek so hard that it was raw.
Still, the food was amazing.
Chapter 3
As soon as we were outside the restaurant, Max slid his hand into mine and gave it a firm squeeze. “You did good. But you don’t have to hide things from me, Sammy.”
“I think I was trying to hide it from me.” I shook my head. “I thought I was past all this.”
“You are past it. This is a good reminder.”
“I still can’t understand how I could have a fan base in Thailand—when no one here looks anything like me.”
“I guess you should ask your contact about that. But since the tickets for the book signing are sold out, I’m sure that means that you have plenty of fans.”
“I hope so. I just have a feeling that maybe this is going to be a mistake.”
“Open yourself up to the experience. Let’s see what happens.”
“I will. But can you come with me to my meeting?”
“If you want me to—absolutely.”
“I do. I know I should be able to handle it on my own, but I have a feeling I’m going to need some extra support on this one.”
“Extra support—willing and able.” He kissed my cheek.
Although Max suggested hitting a few shops, I steered him back in the direction of the hotel. I didn’t want to be stared at the entire time we walked around.
When we stepped into the lobby there was a small crowd of people near the check-in counter. As they waited to be checked-in, I noticed that the women seemed lost in their compact mirrors—combs, eyeliner, lipstick—they were certainly fully embracing the art of the public touch-up. It wouldn’t have struck me as odd if it was just one or two women, but it wasn’t. It was just about every woman I saw there.
As Max and I walked past, none of them gave me a second look, as they were too busy primping. It occurred to me that, despite their natural beauty, these women seemed to be quite obsessed with image.
Once back in the hotel room, Max settled into doing some work on the website and I grabbed a book to calm my nerves. It was pretty easy to lose myself in the pages of one of my fa
vorite books. It was a habit that allowed me to escape from whatever stress or pressure plagued me. After a few pages I felt much better and set the book down.
“What are you working on, Max?”
“Just changing some things to reflect the last leg of the tour. Only two more stops left.”
“Wow, is that all?” I sighed and looked toward the window. “It seems like it’s gone so fast.”
He turned in his chair to face me. “Maybe that’s because it has. We’ve been going pretty nonstop.”
“Except for Ireland.”
“Yes, Ireland.” He smiled as he held my gaze. “I enjoyed Ireland. I’m sure we’re going to enjoy our visit here too.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t convinced. So far the only thing I was sure of was that I didn’t fit in.
A few minutes later we left the hotel in a taxi to meet Kanda, the woman who would host my book signing at her shop in Bangkok.
Luckily, this driver didn’t take much notice of me.
The taxi dropped us off in front of a large bookstore. Beside it was the restaurant where Kanda had suggested we meet. As I stepped out of the taxi Max paid the driver.
I paused to peer in the window of the bookstore. It was spacious, with shelves stacked to the brim—my kind of bookstore. I could see that there was already an area set up for the book signing along with a display for my books. It looked like quite a few had been sold. As I turned toward the restaurant, an older woman walked toward me. I tried to edge around her toward the entrance, but she stopped right in front of me.
The next thing I knew, she’d grabbed my midsection, giving it a playful squeeze.
“You’re fat.”
Those two words made my cheeks flush and my heart race. Why in the world would anybody think it was okay to do that to another person? Tears bit at my eyes as I took a step back from the woman.
Sammy in Thailand (Single Wide Female Travels #6) Page 1