Gareth smiled awkwardly. “Oh, sorry. I was here to see Sal.”
“Sal?” Kate asked. “Why?”
Gareth shrugged. “Actually, to talk about you. Listen, Joe’s not here, is he? I mean, if you want to get back together, that’s your business, but can I say categorically and for the record that I don’t approve? I mean, he touched Penny. He’s contaminated.”
Kate stared at him in complete bafflement. “What?” she asked. “Whyever would you think I’m back with Joe?”
Gareth rolled his eyes impatiently. “Tittle Tattle called me up for my thoughts on you two getting back together. You know, as a close friend. I’m sorry, but I said it would never last.”
Kate grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. “I’m not with Joe,” she said. “I’m going to the hospital to find Tom.”
“Ed!” Sal called. “We’re going to the hospital.”
“Hospital?” Ed came racing down the stairs, a worried expression on his face. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Sal said, exasperated. “We’re on a romantic mission. At least Kate is; I’m just the chauffeur.”
“No you’re not,” Ed said immediately. “Not in your condition. I’ll drive—just let me get my keys.”
Sal rolled her eyes at him. “Ed, I’m perfectly capable of driving you know,” she called after him, but he emerged, smiling, and kissed her.
“Right,” he said. “Which hospital?”
“Yes,” Gareth asked, his eyes shining with excitement. “Which hospital? And why are we going?”
“7 was going to Charing Cross,” Kate said, managing a smile. “But now it looks like it’s a bit of an expedition.”
They all jumped in Ed’s car, and he sped to the hospital in record time, avoiding most of the traffic on the Hammersmith roundabout via a nifty shortcut. They pulled into the sprawling 1960s hospital estate and screeched to a halt outside main reception, where Ed parked next to an ambulance.
“Okay, wish me luck!” Kate said apprehensively, jumping out of the car.
Gareth and Sal held up their thumbs and Ed waved, and Kate made her way inside. It was only when she got to the desk that she realized she had no idea what she was going to say.
“Hi!” she said brightly to the receptionist. “I need to speak with Dr. Whitson. Dr. Tom Whitson.”
“You are a patient?” the woman asked.
Kate shook her head. “A friend. A good friend.”
The woman looked at her. “And this is important?”
“Very,” Kate said breathlessly. “Incredibly important.”
“Important enough to disturb surgery?” the woman asked.
Kate smiled uncomfortably. “Quite important,” she said. “It’s quite important.”
The woman shot her a suspicious look and picked up the phone. “Hello. I’ve got someone for Dr. Whitson here…. Yes … I see…. Okay, then.”
She put the phone down and looked at Kate blankly. “Sorry,” she said with a shrug.
“Sorry he’s busy?” Kate asked. “Sorry, I should wait, or come back later? Sorry about what, exactly?”
“Actually, I’m not sorry,” the woman said. “I was just being polite. But your Dr. Whitson isn’t here. He’s not due in till the morning. So you can wait if you want—it’s up to you.”
“Right,” Kate said quietly. “Thanks. I’ll… I think I’ll go, actually.”
The woman smiled. “Probably best,” she said.
The journey back to Shepherd’s Bush was rather more subdued than the one to the hospital.
“He’s probably just out with friends,” Sal said reassuringly. “Call him in an hour and I’m sure he’ll be home.”
“We’re his friends,” Kate reminded her. “And what if he isn’t?”
“Come and stay with us tonight, then,” Sal said, as they turned off the Fulham Palace Road onto the familiar Hammersmith roundabout. “That way you won’t obsess about where he is and tomorrow you can see him at the hospital and have your romantic moment.”
Kate shook her head. “I want to see him now. What if he did see me with Joe? I can’t sleep until I see him.”
Sal frowned and nudged Ed.
“Come and stay,” he agreed. “I’ll make pancakes.”
Sal raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I will,” he said defensively. “I make great pancakes.”
“I love pancakes,” Gareth said meaningfully, and Sal sighed.
“You can stay, too, if you want,” she said. “But you’ll have to have the sofa.”
“A sleepover!” Gareth exclaimed as they started to drive up the Shepherd’s Bush Road. “Can we have a midnight feast? And read each other ghost stories?”
Ed turned a worried look on Sal. “I still have to go to work tomorrow, you know. I mean, pancakes don’t take long, but I’m not sure about ghost stories and midnight feasts. …”
“Gareth, there will be no midnight feasts,” Sal said. “You can have one story, but that’s all.”
“Fine,” Gareth sulked, and Ed grinned.
“See?” he said softly, “you’ll be a great mother. You’re a natural!”
“Look,” Kate said, “this is really nice of you all, but I don’t really want pancakes. Or ghost stories, or …” She trailed off and swallowed heavily. “I think I’ll probably just go home.”
“You want me to come with you?” Gareth offered hopefully.
Kate shook her head dolefully, and Ed signaled left to turn in to her road.
“The offer will stay open, Kate,” Sal said. “I mean, you know, if you change your mind. If you get lonely or anything …”
Kate managed a smile. “Thanks. Really. But I’ll be fine. And anyway, I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
Ed stopped outside her building, and she gave them each a kiss before getting out of the car.
“Can I still come to stay?” she heard Gareth ask plaintively as she shut the car door and made her way slowly to her door, turning for a brief wave as Ed’s car pulled away.
She pulled out her keys to open the door, then stopped as she heard footsteps behind her. Footsteps that were coming from the small paved area outside her flat. That was all she needed—an intruder to attack her. That would make this officially the worst day of her life.
She swung round, and her mouth fell open.
“I wondered what was taking you so long.”
Kate stared in amazement as Tom stepped out of the shadows, a slight grin on his face. “You know, it’s a lovely evening. I nearly broke into song about an hour ago—that song from My Fair Lady about being on the street where you live.”
Kate, eyes wide, stared at Tom for a moment, then hurled herself at him. “Tom! I’ve just been looking for you. I went to your flat, and the hospital, and …”
“I thought you might be with Joe,” Tom said gently.
Kate shook her head violently. “No way. I mean, I was. For dinner. But only because …” She looked down at the ground. “I thought you and Lucy … but then I found out you weren’t… Sal said you came to find me earlier?”
She looked up, hope shining in her eyes, and Tom nodded.
“That’s when I saw you with Joe.”
Kate looked down again.
“And I ran,” Tom continued. “Chickened out. Came back home and listened to a bit of Billie. And read a bit of your book.”
“My book?”
“This book.” He handed her the old, battered copy of The Hopeless Romantic’s Handbook, and she gasped.
“I threw that away!” she said in amazement.
“And I rescued it,” Tom said lightly. “Ridiculous book it is, too. Full of stupid advice, like being brave and stepping into the breach. Being optimistic and focusing on the positives in life. Never giving up.<” “
“Stupid,” Kate agreed, a little smile playing on her lips. “Really silly.”
“And so I thought that maybe running away was a bit of a pathetic thing to do. Elizabeth Stallwood would at least have me ch
allenge Joe to a duel or something. Give you a chance to make an informed choice.”
“A choice?” Kate said, grinning now.
Tom looked down at the ground, then back at her. “Kate, I… I like you. I always have. No, that’s not even it. I love you, Kate. I love everything about you. I’ve even grown to love this book—this dangerous book with its really quite disastrous fashion tips. I want to be your romantic hero, Kate. I want to be the one who sweeps you off your feet and rides off into the sunset with you slung over the back of my horse. And if I can’t be that, then at least let me be the person on your reserve list. In case the hero gets waylaid. Held up—”
Kate kissed him. “How about you just be the love of my life?” she whispered hoarsely. “The one I can’t wait to get home to. The one I would really like to hold me right now?”
“Like this?” Tom said, leaning down and embracing her.
“Exactly like that,” Kate breathed, pressing her head into his neck.
“At least let me wear a jaunty hat.” Tom laughed, kissing her lips, her nose, her forehead, and then her lips again.
“The thing is, Tom, I’m not a hopeless romantic anymore,” Kate said seriously.
“But you have to be,” Tom said, a hurt expression on his face. “You’ve converted me completely, and you’ve hooked Sal in, too, by the looks of things. You can’t turn pragmatic on us now. Please.”
Kate shook her head. “I’m sorry, Tom. I’m just not.”
Then she grinned mischievously. “I’m a hopeful romantic, instead.” She reached up to kiss Tom again. “After all, what’s this if not a happy ending?”
TITTLE-TATTLE MAGAZINE
YOU’LL HEAR IT FIRST HERE!
MARCH 19, 2006
Chantelle says she shan’t tell about latest love intrigue, page 5
Makeover queen Betty Conway tells all about her new career in front of the camera and why cancer was the best thing that ever happened to her, page 11
DOCTOR LOVE: exclusive photographs of Kate Hetherington enjoying a break with new man Dr. Tom Whitson in Barbados, page 13
Ex-television presenter Penny Pennington announces engagement to Kate Hetherington’s ex, Joe Rogers, and the couple reveals plans for their new reality show, Penny and Joe, a 24/7 look at their happy life together, page 78
————
HOT GOSSIP!
⋆WE KNOW CELEBS⋆
JULY 2006
Big Brother brouhaha on live television—we have all the gory details, page 7
Kate Hetherington on her directorial debut, a documentary following her boyfriend Dr. Tom Whitson and Medecins Sans Frontiers on a journey into Kabul’s forgotten suburbs, page 12
Penny Pennington and Joe Rogers on being dropped by their cable channel, Joe’s fight with alcoholism, and their hopes for their new singing careers, page 92
FAB!
THE NEW ESSENTIAL WEEKLY
OCTOBER 2006
Why James Hoffman, star of Over Here, Over There, is desperate to put his gorilla days behind him, page 7
Kate Hetherington seen shopping with best friend and godson. FAB! asks: Is she getting broody herself? Page 11
Penny Pennington reveals why she didn’t want to be on Celebrity Big Brother anyway and is relieved that they turned her down, page 99
————
CHAT!
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO …
DECEMBER 2006
Golden couple to tie the knot? Kate Hetherington and beau spotted in Tiffany’s—we have the photos to prove it, page 9
Betty Conway and gorilla-man-turned-heartthrob-actor James Hoffman hit LA with their new show, Making Dreams Come True—we have the low-down plus exclusive behind-the-scenes pics, page 15
Former celebs Penny Pennington and Joe Rogers are hoping to reignite their failing careers by signing up to Cast-Off, a new reality television program that pits ex-celebrity couples against each other, living on a desert island off the coast of Australia with no amenities and nothing but what they can catch to eat. Read all about it on page 103
Ebay—auction ending soon
THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC’S HANDBOOK
Condition: Used
Description: Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you long for love and passion, and feel disappointed and let down by the reality of dating? Don’t despair. The Hopeless Romantic’s Handbook will save you. The Hopeless Romantic’s Handbook is a handbook for life. Romance is yours for the taking; you just have to find it. The Hopeless Romantic’s Handbook won’t just tell you where to look; it will help you every step of the way. This book will change your life— satisfaction is guaranteed—if you don’t find true love, get your money back.
Seller: C*P1D25 ([email protected])
GEMMA TOWNLEY is the author of When in Rome, Little White Lies, and Learning Curves. She lives in London with her husband, Mark.
The Hopeless Romantic’s Handbook is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2007 by Gemma Townley
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
BALLANTINE and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
eISBN: 978-0-307-48602-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Townley, Gemma.
The hopeless romantic’s handbook: a novel / Gemma Townley.
p. cm.
1. Chick lit. I. Title.
PR6120.O96H67 2007
823’.92—dc22
www.ballantinebooks.com
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