Heart's Desire

by T. J. Kline

  “What’s that look for?”

  This man continued to confound her. After cooking nearly two dozen hamburgers on the grill, he’d helped her set the rest of the food out, poured sodas, served the kids chocolate cake and then insisted she stay with the group while he headed back inside to clean up. She hadn’t expected a man like him, one accustomed to being served, to do so much to help her. If she’d misjudged him with something as simple as how helpful he might be with the barbecue, how else was she underestimating him? She cocked her head to the side, and a soft smile curved her lips as he came toward her.

  Her fingers twitched, trying to control the urge to slip them into his thick, dark hair. It would be so easy to take the first step toward him, to let him know she wanted him for as long as he wanted to stay. She wanted to kiss him. But her feet remained rooted to the threshold, her head not allowing her heart that privilege.

  He’ll be gone in two days, her logic reminded her.

  But there was so much she would love to do with him in those two days, to let him do to her. And what if she asked him to stay?

  “Jess, are you okay?” His hand came up and he let his thumb brush over her jaw. It was enough to jolt her back to the present.

  “Yeah,” she said, moving to the pantry. “I think the kids are ready for s’mores.” She grabbed several boxes of graham crackers, chocolate bars, and bags of marshmallows. “Were you coming out to join everyone?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  “I think the kids really enjoyed you earlier.”

  He gave her a smile, making that dimple crease his cheek, and sent her heart fluttering again. “That wasn’t what I asked.”

  Her heart pounded in her ears, her pulse rushing through her veins, and she wondered if he could hear it. He moved to block her exit from the pantry, filling the doorway and her senses. She caught her breath as his large hand curled around the side of the door and the tiny space filled with his unique scent. Jessie tried to ignore the shiver of longing that skittered up her spine and the heat that settled over her shoulders, causing goosebumps to rise on her flesh.

  Why was he making this so difficult? On the other hand, what harm would it do to just admit that she did want to spend some time with him? She’d already admitted she had feelings for him.

  “I . . . ” She had trouble getting her lips to form the words. Her mind searched for any reason she could find to be near him. “You did mention wanting to discuss an idea you had.”

  A slow smile spread over his lips. “I did, didn’t I?” He leaned toward her, and she could feel the heat radiating from him. Or maybe that was from her because of him. “Are you sure that’s the only reason you want me there?”

  She willed her feet to move and bid her tongue to come up with a witty retort. Instead, her body swayed toward him, and she wondered if he really had sucked all the oxygen from the small pantry.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt anything but the kids are getting impatient.”

  Susanne’s voice shattered the spell he’d cast over her and replaced it with frustration. She had a job to do and it didn’t include fantasizing about a guy who would forget her again as soon as his butt hit the cushy first-class seat on his flight.

  “You didn’t. We were just searching for these.” She brushed past him, trying to ignore the icy thrill as his hand moved over her back as she held up the bags of marshmallows before handing them to the Susanne. “I didn’t mean to take so long.”

  Jessie heard Nathan’s throaty chuckle as he scooped up the box of crackers and followed her from the kitchen to the campfire. She needed to steel herself against her body’s response whenever he was near, or she might as well smash her heart with a hammer now.

  Chapter Twenty

  EVERY NERVE IN Nathan’s body vibrated with need. It had taken every ounce of self-control to keep her from seeing how she was affecting him. But, while his body might hate him—and there were parts of his body screaming at him for release right now—he’d seen her resolve begin to crumble. If it hadn’t been for Susanne interrupting when she did, he was certain she would have forgotten her stubborn plan to keep him friend-zoned.

  He walked to where Steve and his wife reclined as Jessie passed out several roasting forks. Steve had his hands draped over the side of a glossy acoustic guitar but started to set it aside to shake Nathan’s hand.

  “No, don’t get up.” Nathan leaned toward the man. “Good to see you again.”

  “You, too,” he said, his fingers absently plucking the guitar’s strings. “I’m glad we didn’t actually scare you away.”

  “Not a chance.”

  Jessie returned to the small group of adults, and he patted the spot next to him on the oversized chaise lounge, knowing that she wasn’t likely to refuse with people watching. She sat on the very edge of the seat, as far away as possible while still remaining on the same chair. He shook his head slightly at her stubborn determination and caught Susanne watching them, a smile on her face.

  “Jessie, the kids have done nothing but talk about the ride tomorrow. These boys haven’t stopped arguing about who is going to catch the biggest fish.” She laughed and nudged her husband’s leg. “And I think this one is the worst.”

  “Hey!” Steve protested with righteous indignation. “I will be the one with the biggest fish. I’m the only one who knows how to bait a hook.”

  Jessie laughed with the couple. “There’re a lot of rainbow trout running right now. I know my brother has been using worms and doing pretty well.”

  “Ew! That leaves me out,” Susanne said, paling as she grimaced. She turned back to the kids and pointed out a young couple on the left side of the fire pit. The boy had his arm draped around the girl and was whispering something into her ear as he roasted a marshmallow and then held it up for her to bite. “Steve, you better go and have another chat with your son.”

  Steve rolled his eyes and stood up. “I’ll see if I can’t distract them for a bit. I swear, if they aren’t sleeping or eating, they’re being overrun with hormones. Who’s ready for some music?” he called to the group.

  “I should probably help him. Sometimes keeping these kids in line is like trying to corral cats.” She laughed and rose from her chair. “Oh, and Nathan, I hope I didn’t upset you earlier.”

  Nathan glanced at Jessie and could read the curiosity in her eyes, even though she didn’t ask. He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t.” He leaned back in the chaise and crossed his ankles in front of him. “In fact, I think you might have helped without realizing it.”

  Jessie looked from one to the other, waiting for Susanne to move toward the fire pit and out of earshot before asking for an explanation. “What was that about?”

  He shrugged and deliberately avoided her question, certain it would drive her crazy trying to find out. “Why are you sitting all the way over there?” She twisted around, glaring at him. He laughed at her expression. “Don’t trust yourself to sit with to me, huh?”

  “Hardly.” He didn’t miss the way she wouldn’t meet his eyes when she said it.

  “Liar,” he countered quietly. She started to rise, but he reached for her wrist. “I’d be hard pressed to even try to steal a kiss unless I wanted Susanne to send Steve over. What do you think I’d do with eight teens, two counselors, a pastor, and his wife out here?”

  “Make me uncomfortable,” she countered, but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips.

  “What if I promise to behave?”

  She eyed him skeptically. “I don’t think you know how.”

  He pulled her down toward the seat. “I’ll keep my hands to myself. That’s the best I can offer.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Now, what you choose to do with your hands is a different story.”

  She shook her head but let him drag her down beside him, and he slid his arm around her shoulders. She was stiff beside him as he pointed out the young couple. “Do you remember being that age?” When she only shrugged, he wen
t on. “It’s pretty cool the way Steve and Susanne watch over the kids but still give them their freedom. I never had that opportunity.”

  She looked up at him. “No?” He heard the surprise in her voice. He knew she thought he was nothing more than a spoiled, rich kid. She had no idea that privilege came at a price.

  “My father and grandfather are politicians, so everything we did was scrutinized. I couldn’t leave the house without security.” He looked down at her, tucked under his arm, warmth filling his chest when she seemed genuinely interested. “Made dates sort of awkward.”

  She laughed quietly, relaxing against his side. “I get the feeling you managed just fine.”

  “Not until I went to college. But that is a story better left untold.”

  “A regular ladies’ man, huh?” She curled against his ribs, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

  “Nope, I was a complete nerd and had no idea how to even talk to a girl.”

  She sat up and looked into his face. “I doubt that.”

  “I swear. But then in college I met this loud-mouthed, short-tempered hillbilly, and he taught me everything I know.”

  “Seriously? Justin?” She clicked her tongue. “That explains so much,” she teased.

  He let his fingers play with the long waves of her hair. She sighed, and he realized that this was the most relaxed he’d been in a very long time. Like the earth had stopped spinning and they were the only two people left. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this way, at least, not since that summer. But even then, the sneaking around, while exciting, had made it difficult to ever relax with her. “Jess, what would you think about turning the ranch into a nonprofit organization?”

  She yawned and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. “For what?”

  “You said you wanted to rescue abused horses, and you light up when you work with the teens. What if I could help you turn this place into sort of a camp for at-risk youth to connect with horses, like you said you wanted?”

  “How would that even work? I mean, what about the overhead like hay and vet bills?”

  “Investors. You would need to find sponsors and donors.”

  Her eyes had slipped closed, and her voice held a husky, sleepy tone. He knew he was losing her to sheer exhaustion. “I don’t know anyone who would donate.”

  “I do. I could make a few phone calls,” he offered.

  The only reply was the sound of her soft breathing. She’d given in to her fatigue and fallen asleep on him. Nothing was going to make him move. He didn’t care if he stayed on this chaise lounge all night if it meant holding her in his arms.

  JESSIE WOKE THE next morning feeling more refreshed than she had in years. She reached her arms above her and pressed her toes toward the foot of the bed, arching her back. She blinked against the sunlight streaming through her bedroom window and rolled over, reaching for the down comforter when her hand landed on the hard, muscular abs of the man in bed with her.

  She yelped in surprise, jerking her hand away, as Nathan opened one eye and smiled at her. “Good morning, Jess.”

  She scooted away from him. “What the hell are you doing in here?” She pushed herself up on one elbow to look at the clock. “It’s six in the morning. Why are you in my bed?”

  “You don’t remember?” He gave her a devilish grin.

  No way.

  She would’ve remembered making love to Nathan. Like riding her first horse, or every tumble she’d taken since, making love to Nathan was something she’d never forget as long as she lived. Even now, lying on the opposite side of the bed from him, her body was humming with desire.

  As if he sensed her hesitance, he laughed. “I’m kidding, Jess. Nothing happened.” She wasn’t sure she believed that entirely either. “We were talking on the patio while the kids made s’mores and you fell asleep, so I brought you to your room.”

  She checked her clothing and found that she was still wearing her T-shirt and underwear but no jeans. She arched a brow at him and he grinned again.

  “You wouldn’t have been comfortable in jeans. I was just helping you out.” He gave her his most innocent look—a look designed to charm the pants off her, had she been wearing any.

  “Nathan.” Her voice was a warning as she scooted farther toward her side of the bed.

  He moved quickly, hovering over her, pinning her between his hands at either side of her shoulders. “Jess, come on. Nothing happened. Can’t we just enjoy the last couple of days I have on the ranch without overthinking every detail?” His eyes held a question she wasn’t sure she could answer. His hand found her cheek and he caressed it. “Please?”

  His words hit her like a semitruck. He was leaving in two days, and it was likely that she would never see him again. Never get the chance to feel like this in his arms again. This man who’d reminded her what it was to be a woman, to feel again. The man who’d likely saved her ranch and encouraged her to follow her heart. Her palm brushed over the five o’clock shadow covering his jaw, and she shivered at the delicious rasp against her hand. This was exactly what she’d tried to protect herself from—the broken heart that would follow his departure. But for all her reluctance and reservations, she hadn’t been able to stop her heart from plunging forward. Why was she denying them both these last few days? It wasn’t going to make losing him again hurt any less.

  “What are you thinking about, Jess?” His voice was gravelly, and it was sexy as hell, warming her from head to toe.

  “You,” she whispered. “Me.”

  He bent down, barely brushing his lips against hers in the softest, most gentle kiss she’d ever experienced, and she felt her entire body explode with yearning. Her fingers dove into his hair, and she pulled him closer, wanting more. Nathan ended the kiss too quickly, rolling away from her and off the bed.

  “You have eight kids who are going to be demanding breakfast in an hour. We need to get up.”

  “What?” She blinked dumbly, wondering what just happened. “But . . . ”

  His eyes shone with mischievous humor. “But nothing. Get up, lazy bones.” He reached for her hand and pulled her to standing. Without warning, he met her at the edge of the bed and slid his hands down her back, cupping her rear and making her shiver as she caught herself with her hands on his waist. She felt his erection pressing hard against her belly. There was no doubt that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, but he was denying them both. His mouth sought hers, his tongue sweeping against hers, scorching her, branding her as his. Suddenly, he picked up her jeans from the floor and pressed them into her hands.

  “Shower, and make it quick. I’ll start pancakes in the kitchen.”

  “Wait, what . . . ” He turned and hurried to the door before she could figure out what had just happened. She raised a hand to her lips, still trembling from his touch. “Nathan?”

  He stopped and looked back at her over his shoulder, grinning. “Don’t worry, Jess. I have plans for you tomorrow.”

  He headed down the stairs, leaving her to speculate about what his plans might entail. She threw the jeans onto the bed and rubbed her hands over her arms. She wasn’t sure what he had in mind, but now that she’d decided to take full advantage of his last few days on the ranch, her plans included him, naked, in her bed again.

  NATHAN SEARCHED THE pantry for the pancake mix. It had almost killed him to lie with Jessie pressed against him all night long and do nothing. Sure, he could’ve left her and headed to his cabin, but he wasn’t a complete idiot. With only two days left to convince her that this was a relationship worth fighting for, he needed to prove to her that he wasn’t going anywhere for long. He just had no idea how to do that. He cracked several eggs into a large mixing bowl and poured in the mix. Maybe Bailey or Julia would have some ideas—if he dared confess his feelings about Jessie to them.

  Nathan heard boots tromping into the kitchen. Justin stopped short in the doorway, and laughter burst from him. “Well, look at you, getting all do
mestic.”

  Justin’s teasing didn’t bother him. “Keep it up and you get to go hungry this morning.”

  “I don’t care; this is too good to pass up.” He jerked his phone from his pocket and took a picture of Nathan cooking.

  “Hey,” Nathan yelled, swiping at Justin’s hand, nearly grabbing the phone. “If I see that picture online, I’ll kill you.”

  “Yeah? You and what army?”

  “No army. I’ll just call Tatiana Banks and tell her you’re looking for a wife.” Nathan knew the barb would hit its mark. The only time Justin had given in and had a one-night stand in college, she’d turned out to be a crazy stalker who camped outside their dorm room for weeks.

  Justin cringed. “Fine, here, take the phone.” He shoved the device toward Nathan. “Please. Just don’t call her.”

  They laughed easily, the way only longtime friends could. Nathan knew that if he wanted to tell Justin about his feelings for Jessie, now was his chance. He heard the shower turn on overhead and he had a hard time dragging his mind from the visions of Jess under the water, his hands moving over her soap-slickened body. He shot Justin a sideways glance as his friend retrieved a cup and filled it with coffee.

  “So, what did Jess con you into helping with today?”

  “She didn’t con me into anything; I offered. She wants to take the kids up to The Ridge on horseback then fishing at the river.”

  “Listen to you. You’d think you’d been out here a lot longer than a week.” He laughed into his mug. “We might turn you into a redneck yet.”

  “I’d like to do something nice for her tonight. To thank her for letting me stay.”

  “Would you, now?” Justin arched a brow, pausing with his cup halfway to his mouth. “That’d better be the only reason.”

  Nathan didn’t meet his friend’s gaze.

  “Dude, please tell me you haven’t gone and fallen for my sister. You’re not her type, any more than she’s yours.”

  Nathan prayed Justin couldn’t see the truth written clearly on his face. This wasn’t the way to break it to him.