by Bridie Blake
“We have a lot to catch up on,” Otto said.
“That we do old friend.”
“Nic!” Dahlia cried as she walked out of her tent. “What’s going on?”
He looked at them and sighed. “Hallam is king. And he wants her dead.”
Dahlia gasped and gripped Chae’s hand.
Madoc raced over and gripped Nic’s shoulders. “What are you doing here?”
“Hallam’s king,” said Chae.
Madoc swore loudly. “What are we going to do?”
“Fight,” said Otto. “We push this rebellion forward.”
“The Shiasa’s against it. Tempani’s trying to convince her but no luck so far,” Madoc explained. “She’s a stubborn old lady.”
“She won’t even publicly acknowledge Tempani as her successor. Even after she rode in on a dragon,” said Dahlia.
“She got the dragon,” Otto whispered, shaking his head. “She really did it.”
“Where is she?” Nic was growing impatient. He wanted to see her.
“You might want to take cover,” Darby said when he spotted the Shiasa heading their way, anger flashing in her eyes as she glared at Otto.
“Tempani’s tent is the third from the end,” Dahlia whispered to Nic. “Go.”
He ran off just as a blast was fired towards Otto. He was able to move unnoticed through the camp as everyone had moved over to watch the showdown between their Shiasa and the man she hated most.
“What’s going on out there?”
He froze at the opening of her tent when he heard her voice.
“Nic?” Tempani paled and dropped the shirt she’d been holding.
Zadi pulled Tempani behind her. “Get out,” she hissed.
“I came with your father. We want to help.”
“You have caused too many tears,” Zadi snapped. “But no more.”
He tried to move around Zadi, but she stepped back, taking Tempani with her. “I’m sorry. For everything that happened that night. And everything before that. I don’t even know that person anymore.”
“I can cut him down with one fell swoop.” Zadi grappled for her sword.
Tempani placed a hand on Zadi’s arm. “It’s all right. I need to talk to him.”
Zadi frowned at her but nodded. “I will be right outside.” She glared at Nic as she passed him.
“Your maid doesn’t like me much.”
“My cousin,” she corrected. “And bodyguard.”
“Looks like we both have a lot to catch up on.”
Her stomach was in knots as he moved closer into her tent. He looked older. Had it only been a few months since they’d last spoken? His blue eyes were still as beautiful as she’d remembered. She had missed looking into them. Had missed his smile. His voice. Everything.
“I missed you,” she whispered. “So much.”
He exhaled slowly, his eyes swimming with tears. “I’ve been so lost without you.”
She stepped towards him, pressing her hand against his chest. His heart beat quickly. She looked up at him and lifted her hand to tuck a stray curl behind his ear. She raised her head and found his lips.
She had kissed him before. Many times in fact. But there was something different in this kiss. A stronger desire to be with him. She no longer feared loving him. She now felt comfortable in her own skin, and she realized that was what held her back previously. She had never felt like she belonged anywhere, and until she did she was unable to give her whole heart away.
Her hands inched lower until she found the top of his breeches. She needed his love, his kindness. His warmth.
“Tempani,” he warned, holding her at arm’s length. “You know I won’t be able to stop.”
“I love you,” she whispered as she removed her own breeches.
He grinned and pulled her back into his arms, closing the gap between them.
Later that night, she stretched against Nic and flopped her arm across his chest.
“I’ve worn you out, have I?” He chuckled and pulled her against his side.
“You could say that,” she murmured.
His fingers were warm as they traced her skin, leaving a trail of goose pimples as he made his way down her back and onto her hip. She flinched as he touched one of her scars. It was the one she’d inflicted on herself the night of their fight. His fingers remained where they were, and she watched the question forming in his eyes. He had to have seen the others when he explored her body so intimately before.
She stared back into his eyes, feeling more exposed now than ever before.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing,” she muttered.
He rested his forehead against hers. “Doesn’t look like nothing,” he said slowly. “They’re all over your body.”
“It’s fine. They don’t hurt.”
His voice was tight as he spoke. “Who did this to you?”
“No one.”
“I will make them pay. I promise you.”
Tempani chewed her lip, her brow creasing as she tossed up whether to tell him the truth or not. She didn’t want him to think less of her. Think her weak for not being able to handle the intensity of her Power. But as she looked at him, at the love in his eyes, she knew it was time she started opening up to him. Especially if he was to be her partner in life.
“I did it,” she mumbled and lowered her eyes, not wanting to see the disgust in his. “Whenever I was angry or upset I felt like I would explode from the inside. When I drew blood I felt the sweetest release. I was in control.”
His arms tightened around her as she spoke.
“I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop. I needed the calm it brought me.”
“Do you still do it?”
“No, not since…” her voice trailed off.
“Since?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No more secrets.”
“The one on my hip was the last one,” she whispered. “From the night we ended things.”
He went still, his breathing heavy as he tried to calm himself. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” she urged. “Now that I’m using my magic I don’t need that release anymore. My emotions are easier to control.”
“I promise you I will never do anything to cause you pain again.”
“I know.”
He lifted her chin up so their eyes met. “But you have to promise me that you will never hurt yourself again. Promise me,” he pleaded.
She reached up and kissed him softly. “I promise,” she breathed against his lips.
—
She stretched her arms over her head as she emerged from her tent the next morning. She moved gingerly as she wandered over to her friends and grabbed a bit of sausage from Dahlia’s bowl. She took a bite and then handed the remainder to Tilaw.
“You’re glowing,” Bhatia said when she joined them. “Good night, was it?”
“You can’t ask that,” Dahlia whispered, her cheeks reddening.
“I just asked if she had a good night.”
“It’s what you implied.”
“It’s not my fault your mind went there,” Bhatia said, getting to her feet. “It says a lot about where your thoughts lie.”
“They don’t,” Dahlia sputtered when Bhatia walked away.
“She’s just stirring,” Tempani said, helping herself to more of Dahlia’s food.
“Good morning.” Nic kissed the top of her head and sat beside her.
“I’d be careful doing that in the open,” Chae said as he joined them. “Our niska will banish you from camp if she sees that.”
“Just let her try.” Tempani pulled Nic’s hand into her lap.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said. “Have you talked to papa yet?”
She shook her head.
“She threatened his life if he came too close to her camp. Helio and niski had to force her into letting him stay with the Ikra tribe.”
“You need to talk to him,” said Nic.
“I have nothing to say to him.”
“Tempani, he’s the one behind all this,” said Chae.
“But, Darby…”
“Darby took his orders from him.” Chae reached across and gripped her hand. “Please talk to him.”
More secrets. She shook her head and walked away from them, ignoring their calls to her. Why had everyone felt the need to keep her in the dark? She sat down on the bank of the river and sighed when Tilaw lay down beside her, resting his head on her knee.
He had known all this time. Had planned for it. But at the same time he had tried to hold her back. He’d tried to force her into a marriage that would do nothing for their cause.
Why had he not just told her? Discussed his plans with her like an equal the way Darby did? They could have had a relationship. It could have created a bond and brought them closer. But even thinking that, Tempani knew it wouldn’t have made any difference. He blamed her for Hamalia’s death. At the end of the day that was it. She had died in her daughter’s place, and Otto would never forgive her for that.
But then why had he brought Zadi to Fenella? Why had he stayed in contact with her uncle? He had made plans with Darby. Had hired people to protect her. Was it because he believed in the plight and in her or was it purely for revenge against a king who had wanted nothing more than to rid himself of the problem? A king who had turned a blind eye when his brother arranged the killing of Hamalia. It always came back to that. Otto had been so deeply in love with his wife that he saw and felt nothing beyond that. Tempani couldn’t see herself ever being that connected to someone. Yes, she loved Nic. With all of her heart. But she knew she could survive without him. She had survived without him. He didn’t complete her. He complimented her. And that was the difference between Otto and her.
She sighed and got to her feet, realizing that she had absent mindedly torn to pieces a handful of wildflowers. She watched as the shredded petals fluttered to the ground, the bright splashes of color a stark contrast to the dirt.
She didn’t want to go into battle without trying to clear the air with him - without telling him how she felt. For too long she had just allowed her anger at him to sit inside her, but it was about time she tried to talk to him about it. Life was too short.
She found him sitting with Darby amongst the tents of the Ikra tribe.
“Why?” She asked. “All the secrecy? The lies?”
Otto sighed, his face a picture of defeat. “I promised your mother,” he whispered. “She knew it was you, and we had agreed to withhold it from you until you were older. We wanted you to enjoy life.”
“So you send me to the convent?”
“What else could I do? They killed her because they thought the prophecy was about her.”
Tempani shivered as she remembered her mother’s pleas. She had told them it was her knowing she’d be killed as a result. A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of her mother’s sacrifice.
“I knew you would be safe under Mother Chennai’s protection,” he explained. “And I had to be closer to the palace to keep an eye on the king. If they thought for one moment that there was still a threat…”
“I’d be dead.”
His eyes held hers briefly before he dropped them and let out a cough. “Part of me hoped that you’d never find out, but just in case I had to make sure you would have whatever you needed if the truth did come out.”
“Even without this prophecy you still should have told me about my grandparents. About my duty to them.”
“No,” he snapped. “They broke your mother’s heart when they turned their backs on her. She cried herself to sleep every night until you and your brother came along. I wasn’t about to let them do the same to you.”
“But I wouldn’t do that!” She cried. “I would never choose a man over my duty.”
“Then you are stronger than we ever were,” he whispered. “Stronger even than Nic. We would all choose love over our duties. And your mother and I never once regretted our decision.” He got to his feet. “I’m going for a ride.”
“Otto,” Darby stood to follow him, but his friend waved him off. He sighed. “You’re being too hard on him.”
“He kept me locked away in a convent for years, made me believe he didn’t care for me and kept my destiny a secret from me. I should disown him.”
“Do you know what it was like for him to have to sit in Parliament meetings and attend dinners with a man who was responsible for killing Hamalia?”
“He didn’t have to do that,” she snapped. “If he wanted to plan this, he could have done it from Amarill.”
“How?” He asked. “How would he recruit fighters? How would he ensure your safety if he didn’t pretend he was in the king’s pocket?”
“He had you,” she spat. “You’ve done everything else for him.”
“Don’t be mad with me for lying to you. I have been with you every step of the way. He wanted you to have someone to confide in. He made Madoc come along with us. Chose Rando to protect you because he’s the best fighter your father has known. He remained close to Helio and brought Zadi to Fenella in case this was the path you needed to take. He did everything for you.”
“Why couldn’t he have been the one I confided in? Does he hate me that much?”
“He adores you,” Darby cried. “He talks of nothing but you and Chae. You are the world to him.”
“Then why can’t he tell us that?”
“He feels like he failed you. He blames himself for not being fast enough to reach Hamalia’s side. In his mind it’s his fault she died, and he’ll never forgive himself for leaving the two of you without a mother.”
She sat down. “And all this time I thought he blamed me for it.”
“You remind him so much of her,” he said and gripped her shoulder. “But in my eyes you are your father’s daughter.”
“So am I to forgive him right away?”
“Forgiveness will come for both of you when it is right,” he said. “I’m sorry for keeping his involvement a secret, but I’m not sorry for being the one he chose to have at your side. I think that was the right choice.”
Her face softened as she stared into the wise, old eyes that had guided her thus far. “I do too.”
She lay on her bedroll in the early hours of the morning, watching Nic as he slept. Her father was right about him. He would have chosen love over his duty. Did it make him less of a man? Like King Hulion, who allowed Queen Letish to betray the kingdom? She hated to think that he would have turned a blind eye if she had done something that was detrimental to the kingdom.
But he hadn’t chosen her over his crown. When she left, he’d let her. He didn’t come after her. He did choose his people over her. Yet deep down she knew that if she had stayed he would have wed her against the people’s wishes. That was still choosing love over duty, wasn’t it? But she couldn’t think less of him for it. She could no longer judge him and expect more from him for the simple reason being that he is a ruler. She had been foolish, like most people, to believe that rulers were to have all the answers and to never put a foot wrong. At the end of the day, they were all human. They all had flaws. And she felt nothing but guilt for having judged him so harshly in the past.
As she watched him now, she felt such a strong surge of love for him that it shocked her. She had not known that she even had the capacity to love so strongly yet here she was, with a man she loved so dearly that her heart and body ached for him.
“Nic,” Tempani whispered and nudged his head with her own.
“Sleeping,” he murmured.
“Will you marry me?”
His eyes flashed open. “What?”
“I thought you were sleeping,” she giggled.
He sat upright, almost pushing her from the bedroll. “Well I’m awake now,” he said. “Are you serious?”
She nodded shyly, a blush creeping onto her creamy complexion. “In a Kalao
win ceremony first. And then when you’re king again, we’ll do it again. For Kamara.”
Nic’s eyes darkened, and the smile disappeared from his face.
Tempani reached up and ran her fingers over his lips. “I thought you’d be happy,” she whispered. “Do you not want to marry me?”
Nic rose from the bed and pulled on his breeches. “Why do you want to marry me?”
She laughed softly. “I thought that was obvious.”
He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve wanted to marry you from the moment I realized girls weren’t the enemy,” he said slowly.
“But now you don’t?”
“Oh no, I want to. Believe me,” he said. “And I will do it to help you unite the kingdom.”
She kneeled behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing his neck as she spoke. “Are we going to celebrate?”
He pulled her arms off him and stood up, shrugging a shirt over his body. “We should go tell your tribe.”
She stared after him as he pushed through the flap, tears burning in her eyes. He may as well have just slapped her in the face. What had she done wrong? A proposal was supposed to be a wonderful thing. Was he unhappy that she had asked him and not the other way around? Kalaowin tradition dictated that the woman had to do the asking. She was doing the right thing. She thought he would find it romantic. That he would be pleased. But perhaps he had seen it as too forward. Too undignified. Or maybe he did not want her now that she had lain with him.
Her eyes were red when she joined the excitement outside, but no one seemed to notice. Or if they did they must have put it down to tears of joy. He placed his hand on the small of her back but touched her nowhere else. Since he’d arrived here he’d had no problems holding her hand in public. Hugging her, kissing her. But now it was as though he could barely stand to touch her.
She accepted her friends’ congratulations with a forced smile. She nodded along as Dahlia talked excitedly about wedding plans.
In front of everyone he seemed happy, but she saw that his smile didn’t meet his eyes. She couldn’t understand it. He had wanted to marry her for so long, and now they were finally doing it and he had gone cold on her. What had happened?