“Meaning?” Noah narrows his eyes at me. “If you’re speaking symbolically here, what’s the window?”
“A portal into password-protected networks.”
“And what’s the air?”
“Umm. Streaming data.”
When I don’t say anything more Noah pushes me. “You mean, like music? Video?”
“Exactly!”
Noah groans. “Holly! You’ve been downloading pirated music and films? That’s stealing!” I open my mouth to defend myself when he continues. “Still,” he pauses, watching me. “Everyone does that. So why were you penalized—just because you got caught?”
“Please!” I scoff. “As if I don’t know how to create a dummy user account! Or get around firewalls!”
“Well then?”
“I sorta set up a portal to dump the data into an unrestricted site where students could access it for free.”
His confusion clears. “You’re the one behind Freezone?” He gawks at me.
“Fraid so.” I watch for his reaction.
“Wow,” Noah says, leaning back against the wall. “I’ve heard that hacker was a genius, an embittered alum who couldn’t find a job, a Chinese dissident…all kinds of weird stuff. I also heard he was expelled.”
“Well, she wasn’t.” I pop a piece of gum into my mouth and chew vigorously.
“Why not?” Noah asks.
Good question. I’m not sure myself, though I’m afraid it may have something to do with my dad. He was remarkably taken with my pet project.
“Not sure,” I say, for short.
“Huh.” He seems to look at me with new eyes and I shift uncomfortably. That could be good or bad and I realize I don’t want to lose Noah’s good opinion.
“Why?”
It’s funny, but no one ever asks me that. All people usually want to know is how I did it, not why.
“Information wants to be free!” It’s my standard response.
Noah looks at me blankly. “So? You want to be Aaron Swartz or Edward Snowden? Not all information is created equal, Holly.”
“They’re my heroes,” I admit. “And yes it is! It’s the raw material of democracy! The property of the people!”
Noah groans and slaps a palm to his forehead. “Save me from Californian libertarians!”
I bristle. “At least I live in the modern world, Professor Berman! My actions affect real living people!”
He glares at me. “Yeah, the artists whose livelihood you destroy! How are they supposed to support themselves when people don’t pay for their work?”
“Oh, you know, advertising!” I say airily.
Noah bursts out laughing again. “Holl, waving your hand in the air does not generate revenue.”
I’m tickled despite myself. “No? I think it does in Minecraft.” I crook a smile at him.
“That’s your ‘real’ world, huh?”
We exchange a look of shared amusement at the irony of it all. He’s leaning against a wall, head back, eyes warm, his long legs stretched out along the floor. I feel giddy.
“We’re supposed to do something with all this knowledge—like help each other figure something out,” I murmur, reluctant to break the mood.
“Yeah,” he smiles sheepishly. “Tell me what I need. I’m ready.” His voice sends shivers down my spine and I brace myself.
“You need a life, mister! You clearly spend too much time with dry dusty tomes and you’re losing perspective. We have to drag you into the twenty-first century!” I’m sure about that. We’re on the right track.
He closes his eyes, thinking, and I get to study him. He thinks really well.
“Okay,” he says finally, looking at me. “But you need perspective too. You’re in a bubble just as much as I am, just one made of bytes and zillabytes.”
I giggle. “There’s no such thing as zillabytes!” We both laugh. I glance at my phone to check the time. It’s getting late but I don’t want to leave.
“What next?” he asks, hesitant.
“We need a lesson plan.”
There!
I’m still feeling warm inside on the cold walk back to my dorm room. Noah wanted to walk me but that felt weird. Too…. Just weird. And it’s not that late. We didn’t talk for that long. In fact, the time kind of rushed by. We could have talked more even. I’m thinking about all the things we could have talked about when my phone rings. I answer absently.
“You answered. I thought you had been abducted by aliens.”
Oh. Right. My boyfriend.
“Yeah, I’m here. Just, you know, busy these days. Sorry.” That sounds lame so I try to drum up more enthusiasm. “How are you?”
Now I sound like a preschool teacher. I hunch my shoulders against the wind and speed up my pace to get back inside quicker.
“Good.”
There’s a pause where I try to think of something else to ask. Ravi wins.
“What have you been up to?”
I switch my phone into the other hand as my fingers start to go numb at the tips. “Nothing much.”
“I thought you were busy.”
“Oh, yeah. Busy with nothing much.” Ugh! “It’s kind of too cold to talk,” I hint.
“I don’t want to say I told you so but I told you so.”
I grit my teeth. No one wanted me to come to New York for college. Not Ravi, not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends. But I’d spent my whole life in Palo Alto and I just wanted to get away. And I love it here. And Ravi and I didn’t even break up like everyone said we would. Ha! Two years and still going strong. We just keep ticking away like….
He’s still talking when I get to my building and search my pockets for my I.D. card to swipe in. Gloves. I need gloves.
“You’re working on the Stanford summer intensive application, right?”
“No.” Where the heck is my I.D.? My frozen fingers can’t feel anything. “I told you. I’m not doing that.” I don’t even bother with the reasons this time.
“But I am!”
I don’t want to hurt his feelings but the last thing I want to do all summer is code. Or spend all day with coders. Even though I am one.
“I’ll be back in town. We’ll still see each other. It will be just like last summer.”
He snorts. “When you spent two months looking for jobs and one month handing out towels at the Y? Holly, it's time to get serious about your future. You’ve had a year to screw around but now you’re a sophomore and you need a direction.”
Now I snort. “Okay, dad.”
“Well, if your dad won’t kick your butt then I have to. You’re not using all your potential.”
Yep, heard that before: I drift. I coast. True. People keep telling me I’m smart and I can do whatever I want, but what do I want?? At least I’ve found my I.D. card! I swipe in and stifle my chuckle. Ravi won’t think it’s funny.
“We all care about you, Holly.”
OMG!
“Ravi, I gotta go. I’ll see you over the break and maybe we can talk. But I’m not doing the Stanford thing!”
So there! At least I occasionally know what I don’t want. That’s something, right?
5
Noah
I spend a lot of time with Holly over the next week. It’s homework, I tell myself, but I can’t deny it’s a pleasure too. And I hear a lot more about this boyfriend, who sounds more and more like an idiot to me (though I’m hardly objective). I found out they started dating senior year of high school and have managed to stay together through two years long distance so far. He studies material sciences at Stanford apparently. I’m not even sure what material sciences are, but I get why he hasn’t let go of Holly.
“Ravi says it’s 70 degrees in Palo Alto this weekend. I can’t wait to go home for spring break. I’m sick of winter.” Holly sips her beer from a red Solo cup, nearly shouting to be heard over the blaring music. She’s wearing her usual graphic tee shirt and jeans but this shirt has a vee neck and I’m easily tall enough to g
limpse cleavage every time I glance down. Her hair is loose too, the curls swirling all over her shoulders.
As part of our program to swap worlds she’s been coming to lectures with me and I’m supposed to go to tech meet ups and parties with her. This is the first time we’ve made it to a party though. She’s been pretty busy with Annika recently. I ran into Matt one day in the library and found out about their whole crazy history. He feels guilty that everyone thinks she’s a bitch so we came up with a plan for Holly to help Annika make friends. Needless to say, Holly has thrown herself into the project wholeheartedly. That’s how she is.
I’m saved from hearing more about Ravi when some guy backs into me and Holly and his drink sloshes onto us. “Sorry!” he mumbles, as we glare at him.
“Hey—you’re cute!” The guy leans into Holly, who lurches out of his way.
“Taken!” she sings out, her eyes laughing.
“Oh.” The guy looks back and forth between us and she grins but says nothing. “Sorry,” he mumbles again before moving off.
“You’re a good cover!” She stretches up against me to smack a kiss on my cheek and I grind my teeth together.
“Remind me why this is good for me again? How exactly is this party providing much needed perspective on anything?” Yes, I’m getting cranky. I’m already frustrated.
Before Holly can answer my phone rings and I check the screen.
“Got to take this,” I say, moving away. “Rachel?” I find a spot where I can keep an eye on Holly then cover one ear, hoping I can hear.
“Are you at a party?”
“Long story.” I have to be loud and brief. “What’s up?”
“I’ve got a date tonight and I don’t know what to wear!” she wails.
“You’re kidding me, right?” I scan the room and find Holly staring at me, looking confused. I give her a questioning look while Rachel launches into a monologue about several different possible outfits. I say “uh huh” at random intervals, trying to figure out what’s up with Holly.
“You’re no use, Noah!” Rachel breaks into my thoughts.
“Well, duh! Why would you think I could help with this?” I shake my head and smile. I see Holly wince. I start moving back toward her, dodging more drunks and straining to hear Rachel.
I suddenly wake up to what she’s saying. “Wait—who is this guy? Pleeease tell me he’s not a football player!” I cringe in advance. I’ve reached Holly and she watches me with a creased brow while I listen to Rachel’s defensive answer. I roll my eyes. “Be careful!” I say finally. “You can always pretend I’ll sweep in and kick his ass if he hurts you.” I hear Rachel snicker before she hangs up. I’m still smiling as I put it away.
“Who’s Rachel?” Holly asks immediately, then she chews on her lip and avoids my eyes. For a minute I toy with the idea of using Rachel as a cover. I really could use a cover these days. But it feels wrong and I’ve got a bad case of honesty.
“Umm.” I can’t help hesitating though. Just to enjoy my moment.
“Sorry! Sorry! None of my business! It’s just I’ve seen her name on your phone before. And you sounded so concerned about her….” Holly sounds a little forlorn and it’s kind of cute.
“Don’t look at me like that!” She starts swatting at me, arms flailing and hands flapping. I’m enjoying this immensely.
I grab Holly to keep her limbs from distracting me and next thing I know she has her arms wrapped around me and her cheek pressed against my chest. She mumbles something and I tighten my hold on her. She feels amazing. My heart is racing as I tentatively stroke her back. She makes another incoherent sound and snuggles closer for one perfect moment. Then she raises her head and takes a deep breath. And a big step back. Away from me.
“Time to go! It’s late and I’m tired and I’ve got studying to do and I want to wash this cigarette smoke off me….” She wrinkles her nose and swings her arms back and forth, avoiding my gaze as I stare at her. “Okay! I’m rambling! I know! I don’t really have studying to do tonight. Let’s just go!” She starts marching away and I scurry to follow.
We walk through the dark quad in silence. It’s March but still pretty cold out. We’re both shivering in our winter coats and I want to wrap an arm around Holly but I don’t dare so I shove my hands in my pockets. She seems subdued.
“How’s Operation Annika going?”
It had been my suggestion originally for Holly to befriend Annika. Four weeks into this course and we were all getting enmeshed.
“I like her.” She sounds a little surprised.
“Good.” I’m relieved. I’m not sure what to make of Holly’s mood though. I’ve never seen her this quiet. We near her dorm and our steps slow.
“About Rachel,” I begin. Holly stiffens next to me and a gust of wind blows her hair across her face. “She’s my twin.”
Holly’s perfect mouth makes a perfect O. “You have a twin sister!” She might be audible to Rachel in Baltimore. “Get out!” She smacks me in the arm.
“Yeah…. so?” I’m bewildered, but that seems to happen a lot around Holly. “She called to ask me about outfits, if you can believe it.”
Holly springs into action and I gape at her. “Give me your phone! Noah, give me your phone!” She’s already got eager little hands running over my pockets and I squirm.
“Aha!” While I’m still blinking she swipes through a few screens and next thing I know she’s talking to my sister.
“Holly!” I grab for my phone but she’s quick and I’m reluctant to tackle her.
“Rachel? It’s Holly. I’m a friend of Noah’s. I had no idea he had a twin! I always wanted a sister but I have three useless older brothers…. yeah, three!”
There’s a short pause before she starts up again. I can’t imagine what Rachel is making of this, but I give in to the inevitable.
“So you said you need help with an outfit? Text me a pic. I’ll send you one of Noah in the meantime. Isn’t he the best?.... I know!” She’s looking at me, her eyes lit up and I think maybe this isn’t so bad. Then she’s crammed in next to me, taking a selfie of us for my sister. I groan and drop my head in my hands.
“So where are you in school? Wow, you’re both so smart!” The interrogation continues, interrupted by exclamations as the photos come in. “Noah, she’s so pretty! She’s got your dimples and your shy smile…. None of this adorable scruff though.”
She rubs a palm over my jaw while I roll my eyes again. I don’t think I’ve rolled my eyes as much in my life as I have since I met Holly. And to think that was only a month ago.
“Holl!” I interrupt her analysis of my sister’s outfit options. “It’s freezing out here!” I stamp my feet to keep my toes functional.
“Okay! Okay! Rachel, I’m so happy to meet you! We’re going to be great friends! I just loooove your brother!” My heart stops, but Holly’s eyes meet mine and they’re utterly innocent—wide, warm, and blue as the summer sky. She clicks off the phone and hands it back to me. I take it, suddenly nervous.
“Wow. You sure make friends easily.”
She laughs, a full-bodied sound that I love. “It’s my superpower!”
Among others, I think as I nudge her toward her entryway. “Get in there. Get warm.” I try to sound stern and thankfully she does move forward.
I’m watching to make sure she gets inside safely when halfway to the door she turns back to me suddenly and yells “I’m so glad we’re friends, Noah!”
Then, with a fluttery wave, she disappears inside.
6
Holly
“I’m a little worried about going home actually,” I admit reluctantly.
I look down at my hands on the table. Today in class Marjorie broke us out of our partnerships and I ended up working with Lani and Annika. When class was over Annika and I walked out together to the coffee shop for more caffeine. This 8 a.m. class is a bitch that way. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Kyle and Lani having an intense conversation on the other side of th
e cafe. There are two more days of midterms and then everyone leaves campus for spring break. I’m kind of dreading it.
“Why?” Annika asks, frowning.
“Well… there’s Ravi. It’s always awkward seeing each other after long gaps. I haven’t seen him since Christmas.” It sounds lame and I hope Annika lets it pass. She doesn’t.
“I don’t get it. That must be normal for you two. Aren’t you over the sky to be reunited?”
Wrong expression and wrong feeling. I’m not over the moon to see him. Why is that?
“I don’t know. He always wants to go straight to sex and I want to get comfortable with him first.” I can’t believe I said that. I dart a glance to see Annika’s reaction, but she doesn’t look shocked or judgey.
“That doesn’t seem unreasonable of you,” she begins hesitantly.
I sigh. “He says we only have a short time together and how long do I want to waste chatting? Sometimes I go home and make excuses to avoid him. Once I pretended I was sick for a whole week.” This sounds so pathetic.
“Holly,” Annika sounds gentle. “Why are you with him then?”
“He’s nice enough,” I concede. “And smart.”
“Okay.” She sounds dubious. “ And what about the sex? Don’t you enjoy it?”
I avert my eyes and wonder how to respond. Annika is glamorously beautiful and has probably had tons of boyfriends. She used to be a model, for pete’s sake!
“I don’t have much to compare it to. I’ve only ever dated Ravi. I’m not experienced like you,” I mumble.
She laughs out loud and leans forward to whisper in my ear.
I startle upright. “No!”
She nods.
“You’re shitting me? Really? But what about…?”
I trail off but we both know what I’m referring to. She shakes her head solemnly.
“Oh.” I slump into my seat, thinking furiously. “Oh.”
The Lesson Plan (Extra Credit #3) Page 3