Up For Debate (Love and Desire Book 1)

by Devin Sawyer

  “Goddamn, I’m not doing you a ‘favor.’ I’m trying to do myself one, I’m not ready to let go of you just yet. I want more time with you and if that means we are dating, exclusively, then so be it.” He’s breathing heavy, like saying that took a lot out of him. I just stare back, trying to read into what he’s doing. Is this reverse psychology?

  He stalks toward me, slowly, hesitantly and he reaches out for my hand by my side.

  “All I can think about is being near you. Just let me have that.” His eyes are sincere, and I get the feeling he isn’t allowed to feel this vulnerable very often. I nod to him. “Okay.” Why did I say that? I didn’t mean okay. I meant ‘no, not in this lifetime.’ I meant ‘go find some other poor soul to suck the life out of.’ He’s practically a dementor.

  A smile lifts on one side of his face. “Okay.” His other hand lifts to my chin and he pulls my mouth to his. His tongue finds my own and it’s warm and inviting. His touch feels like magic that I didn’t know I needed.

  “Whoa.” A voice breaks us apart. “Uh, Farah, I came to check on you. Do you want me to take you home?” Cher stands a few feet away, unsure how to proceed. It’s clear she thought she would find a distraught Farah, but instead stumbled across one that was lust drunk.

  “I’ll take her back.” Lawson’s voice rumbles out, low and raspy.

  Cher doesn’t want any of his bullshit and she looks to me to confirm. I nod my head, letting her know that it’s okay.

  “Let’s go,” he says and pulls me by the hand toward his car parked in the street.

  “Wait.” I pause in the middle of the street bringing him to a halt. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to up and change your mind tomorrow, and I’m not sleeping with you until like, a little while at least.” I don’t mean to sound prudish, but I need him to know I’m not jumping into bed with him just because he lights me on fire, not until I trust him.

  “I’m sure and I already knew that about you. I’m not doing this to get laid, though I wouldn’t tell you no.”

  “What if I’m saving myself for marriage?” I decide to push the limits.

  “I mean, I guess…” I watch him stumble around for what to say.

  “Kidding, Lawson,” I say. “It was a joke. I’m not a virgin.”

  “Can we just please go back to my place and watch a movie or something? I’ll make popcorn and drop you off at your dorm later.”

  He may be a lady’s man, but right now I think I would follow him anywhere.

  CHAPTER 8 – PRESENT

  I awaken the next morning when I feel my bed dip and I jump, hyper-alert. For half a second before I can register my senses, I’m not sure if it’s Lawson or Reece at my bed. I’m a little discomforted when I discover that neither of them are my wake-up call, but it’s their mom, Emily.

  “Hi dearheart, breakfast has been made. Are you going to come downstairs or sleep all day?”

  I drag the sleep out of my eyes. “Yes, of course. I’ll be right down.”

  “Maybe put on some clothes before you do.” She sings it serenely, but it sounds like it’s coming from the devil’s lips.

  I look down to my pajamas and move to cover my breasts that are pressing against my top without a bra. I attempt a smile and nod but know I only look like a sarcastic asshole when I do it.

  I come bouncing down the stairs ten minutes later after I’ve put on shorts, a light sweater, brushed my teeth and applied some mascara. Mrs. Calhoun is sitting at the breakfast nook looking every bit the senator’s wife in her dress and blazer with her blonde coifed hair at seven-thirty in the morning. I grab a bagel and some bacon and throw it on my plate before grabbing a large cup of coffee and taking a seat at the bar next to Reece. I’m glad they are the only two in the kitchen. Reece takes a hand and rubs down my back.

  “I talked to Lawson this morning,” Reece says low enough that his mother can’t hear. I cough a little into my coffee, nearly choking on it. Did he tell him we talked already? “He seemed okay about everything. Well, as okay as someone could be in this situation. He said he’d like to take just the two of us out for dinner while we are here, kind of address the elephant in the room so we don’t feel like we have to tippy-toe around each other.” I keep the coffee mug pressed to my lips and just nod my head ever so slightly.

  “Lawson’s announcement is this evening, but we don’t have anything to do today. I was going to see if I could go meet up with JD while we are here. You can join in if you want.”

  I didn’t know JD well, just that he was one of Reece’s friends from high school and I hadn’t known Reece back then.

  “No, that’s okay. I think I’ll take a walk down the beach. I can meet you back here this afternoon.”

  “Alright, I’m going to head over there then. Call if you need anything.” He gives me one of his smiles that makes me mirror it and kisses me on the cheek.

  After he’s left, Emily and I continue to eat our breakfast in silence. I’ll take a book and my bikini down to the shore after a bit and lay out this afternoon. Portland doesn’t have quite as many opportunities to get a nice tan. I can come back a few hours before we have to head to Lawson’s announcement.

  I become distracted from my plans to relax when a dish and silverware clatter into the sink and I look over to see Emily cleaning up. Our eyes meet and I offer her a smile, knowing it feels fake and forced. She knows it too. This is all a game.

  “You and Reece are quite the cute couple. I’m glad he has you all the way over in Oregon with him.”

  For a minute I think I misheard her. That was a compliment, I’m sure of it. I was confident she didn’t want me anywhere near this family ever again and I can’t tell if she’s lying to be pleasant, or maybe to fill the awkward silence that I was enjoying just moments ago, but when I look to her face again, she seems earnest, for once. The façade she normally wears of a prim and proper senator’s wife has dropped for just a moment.

  “Thank you. I’m glad he found me out there. He makes me very happy.”

  “I can see that. I see that you provide the same for him, although I wish he came home a little more.” She says the last part and lingers on it, attempting to imply that I prevent that from happening. Truth be told, I probably do. I never want to come with Reece when he returns home, even though he makes every trip to see my parents.

  “Yeah, maybe we could schedule a few more trips home during the year.” I want to meet her halfway. She’s offering an olive branch and I’m going to take it. “Y’all are always welcome to come for a visit as well. We have an extra bedroom in our apartment.”

  She smiles at this, but I don’t get the feeling they want to leave the comforts of their home for city apartment living. “Look at you, still hanging on to some of your southern accent.”

  “You can take the girl out of the south but you can’t take the south out of the girl.” That wasn’t true. I may have spent over a decade being raised in the south, but they aren’t my roots, and she knows that. Emily smiles. It feels nice to get along with her even if it’s a little forced right now. I’m hopeful for a brighter future.

  “Well, I have a hair appointment. I’ll see you this evening for the announcement?”

  I nod.

  “I’m going to walk down to the beach in a bit. I’ll see you later.”

  When I’m alone in the house I head upstairs and rifle through my bag until I come across a few of the bikinis I packed. I decide to go for the more revealing outfit since I’ll be alone for the day and once I’m dressed, I throw on my sunglasses and fedora that make me feel sassy. I drag a beach lounger out from the patio to the open beach area not far from their house. The beach is quiet, but it’s still before nine, so only a few joggers trail by periodically. I untie the strings from my top, letting them rest by my sides and close my eyes. I’m still a bit tired and I decide to take a quick nap. I set an alarm on my phone so I don’t cook in the sun and I drift off listening to the loud waves crashing in.

  ~
>
  “Hey.”

  “Hey!” a voice yells, but it sounds muffled to my sleeping brain.

  Lawson stands over me.

  “Your phone is going off.”

  The obnoxious whistling of bells and chimes is dinging like crazy. I make a mental note to switch it to something louder and sit to reach for it. At that moment I remember my top isn’t tied and I grasp at the strings quickly before they can fall and I reveal myself. Lawson is kind enough to turn and look away.

  “What are you doing out here?” I inquire.

  “I went for a run,” he says curtly.

  I guffaw at that. “You don’t run.” At least he never used to. He worked out at the gym, but he hated to run.

  He gives me a look that makes me feel like I’m annoying him. “I started about five years ago. I still had to go through basic for the reserves. Habit now.”

  I observe now that he’s in running shorts and sneakers and by the sweat beading off of his chiseled chest. It’s clear he just had an intense workout. He continues to stand over me, not bothering to bend down and I don’t like the superiority tactics he’s using on me, so I stand to meet him.

  “Going in?” he queries.

  “No, I was just going to talk to you.”

  “Can’t. Have to shower and change and get to the office.”

  “Right. Then I’ll see you tonight.”

  “You don’t have to come. I merely need Reece there to show family support to the media, but your presence isn’t required.”

  Okay, asshole. No need to be a fucking dick about it.

  “I already told Reece I planned to go with him. Plus, it will give me a chance to see you in action. You’ve been prepping for a lot of years.” The spite in my voice is not mistaken, and it’s evident that Lawson’s grudge is holding strong. This is a duel.

  “Yeah, sure. Whatever. See you around.”

  I watch him as he marches toward the patio and I study him while I don’t have to have his judging gaze stare back at me. He’s still the same in so many ways and yet I don’t feel like I know him at all anymore. He’s allowed to be angry and bitter, I get that. I don’t get why he’s going out of his way to be a dick.

  Reece and I aren’t ending things anytime soon and he has to know more of these encounters are bound to happen. Also, Reece pursued me. I tried for weeks to ignore him after that first coffee date. I just couldn’t deal with the Calhoun family, no matter how attractive and funny I found him, and the whole ‘dating your ex’s brother’ was causing me all kinds of confusion. None of that seems to matter to Lawson. From the way Reece talks, it’s like Lawson and he has never had a real conversation about it. Sure, Reece told him about us two years ago, but he makes it sound like Lawson was very nonchalant about the whole thing. A pat on the back, a “congrats, I’m happy for you” remark and they moved on, yet here I am getting the stink eye. This family has some nerve.

  I lie back down on my front this time and grab the book I packed. It was time to lose myself in a psychological thriller. Maybe it would give me some insight into this damn family. I lose myself into the mind of a female revenge killer, who attempts to right the wrongs of other criminals by killing them after they have hurt others. It’s very Robin Hood-esque. Taking from the criminal and seeking their victim’s revenge. It’s fascinating to read her inner monologue and watch as she tries to convince herself that what she’s doing is for the greater good.

  When I can’t take the September heat anymore, I stand and head for the ocean. Time to cool off. I wade in slowly, allowing the waves to cool my warm skin and when I get in where the water brushes against my calves, I take a seat on the sandy bottom floor. The cool temperature makes me gasp, but I can already feel myself acclimating to it. The beach is getting busier with the noon crowd and I observe all the locals and tourists and see if I can tell the difference between them. I wonder if they are thinking the same about me. A large golden dog trots up beside me, splashing me with water and licking at me. I’m unable to resist and I shower it in affection and pet it, looking around for its owner. I don’t see anyone at first but a few moments later I see a young guy around my age jogging toward us in slacks and a button-down shirt. He looks a little stuffy to be on the beach. That outfit is hardly beach attire. I stand, holding onto the dog’s collar and leading him back to the water’s edge where his apparent owner stands huffing with a leash in hand.

  “Hey, thanks. She ran off on me when I came home to let her out on my lunch break.”

  “Not a problem. She’s a sweetheart.”

  He hooks her leash back around her collar.

  “Do you know the Calhoun family?” he asks, pointing behind him toward the home. “They can be a little sensitive about who's sitting in ‘their area of the beach.’” I laugh at this. “Yeah, I’m Farah.” I reach my hand out to shake his. “I’m actually dating Reece, their youngest son. I’m sorry they can be so overbearing.” I hope that my friendly manner makes up for some of the behavior that the Calhouns tend to emit.

  “Oh, Farah,” he says with recognition in his eyes. “I’m Jason. Lawson’s friend. I’m a fellow lawyer, helping him with his campaign. His entire cabinet basically, if he had one. I’m just staying up the beach a little ways while we are here for his campaign stop.”

  “Oh right. I think I heard him mention your name over dinner last night. It’s good to meet you.” I suddenly feel insecure. I can’t be sure that Jason knows anything about me personally but the way that we both grow eerily quiet makes me certain of it.

  “Well, I’m glad you could make it in with Reece for the announcement week. I know it was important to Lawson to have Reece here with him. I better head back to the office before my phone starts exploding.”

  I nod my head back at him. “It was nice to meet you, Jason. I’ll see you around.”

  This town is tainted by the Calhoun family. They run this entire state it feels like. And that’s why I left. I can’t meet anyone without them hating the Calhouns or being in their back pocket. Despite the sunny day, I feel darker after my run-in with Jason. He was nice enough, but I spend my afternoon wondering what it is he knows and why his disposition changed after hearing who I was.

  I head in after a while, needing to shower before tonight and when I get back to the house, I can hear Emily shuffling around back in their bedroom. I head up and type out a quick message to Reece asking him what time he will be back and hop in the shower. I forgot how good it feels to shower off sweat and sand from your skin after a day in the sun. When I get out, I pad over to my room in just my towel, checking the hall before I go. Reece responded to my text, telling me he was on his way ten minutes ago and I begin to dress for the evening since it always takes me longer to get ready. I hear the door close downstairs and I wait to hear if it’s Reece coming up the stairs and I’m delighted when my door creaks open and I see him behind it.

  “Hey beautiful,” he coos as he comes to the vanity, kissing on me.

  “Hey yourself. What are you hiding?” I gesture to the arm he has behind his back.

  “Your favorite thing in the whole wide world.”

  I stare at him quizzically. “Well, I don’t think it’s a jacuzzi, tickets back home, sex, or a private jet that takes us to Turkey so I can finally show you my home. So I’m going to guess a bottle of Sangria.”

  His grin widens. “I didn’t know you had so many favorites.” He pulls his hand out from behind him and a small to-go container. “Crème brûlée, madam?”

  I can’t contain my excitement. I almost forgot how much I loved the crème brûlée from here. “You went to 39 Rue de Jean?” I take the box from his hands and open it to see a perfectly cooked dessert waiting for me. He hands me a small plastic spoon.

  “Yeah, if I had known that’s where JD wanted to go, I would have told you and forced you to come. I know how much you love it. If it’s any consolation, maybe we can go to Tavern and Table this week.”

  I scrunch my nose at him. “I actually sorta p
romised Finn last week I would go out with him there to catch up. I need to text him actually and let him know we’re here. But we can definitely go more than once—you know how much I love it.” I put a bite of the crème brûlée in my mouth and let my eyes roll to the back of my head. It is sinfully good.

  Reece chuckles at this. “That’s okay. We can visit Salty Mikes or The Boathouse. I know you like those as well. You know I can make you crème brûlée at home, don’t you?”

  I nod my head at him with a full mouth of smooth melty deliciousness. “It’s not the same,” I tell him, and he scolds me teasingly with his eyes. “Did you have fun with JD?”

  “Yeah, we played a round of golf and then went to eat, sat on the patio since it’s been so nice out.”

  “That sounds fun. You should probably go get showered since we need to leave in less than an hour. The banquet room is across town.”

  I’m gifted with a kiss on the cheek and he runs out of the room. I do my best attempt at an updo. I’m not skilled in hair. I typically just leave mine down or braid it, but I know Emily will want us all to look polished for this evening and I think I did an okay job for a beginner. I know she will say something if she’s not satisfied. I apply my makeup, not too little, but not too much, ‘just the right amount’ as Emily would say, and it makes me feel like she’s telling the story of Goldilocks each time. I throw on a navy knee-length pencil dress and a pair of nude heels that never see the back of my closet anymore. I used to love these shoes when I would go out with April. We still see each other at work and catch dinner a few times a month. We just aren’t doing the club scene ever since I settled in with Reece and she’s dating a hot piece of ass male model.

  A knock on my open door tells me that Reece is ready and when I turn around, I see him suited up in a white crisp button-down and grey slacks and jacket. He looks incredibly polished and handsome. We left the politician life behind and I love our down to earth normal habits, but oftentimes I am in my scrubs and Reece in his chef uniform, so seeing him dressed up is a treat.