by Devin Sawyer
I was in nursing school and my schedule was packed with rotations at the hospital, but we had dinner every night he was there, usually at my apartment, but I showed him the few places in Portland I had managed to find. He was there for me in one of the loneliest moments of my life and since then, I’ve always shown him the same loyalty. I always knew Finn was good people, but that was when I knew he wasn’t just good people, he was my people. I hadn’t formed many close relationships in my life. Between Turkey, Georgia, boarding school, junior college, moving to South Carolina, and again to Portland, I had shuffled all around the globe and found most friendships don’t follow you. It’s understandable but also very lonely. Finn never let the distance be an issue. We text, email, Skype, kept communication up regularly, but I hadn’t seen him in a few years and was anxious to get to spend time with him.
I throw on my favorite summer dress that’s white with sunflowers all over it and go look for Reece. I find him downstairs watching TV and don’t see his parents anywhere.
“Morning, beautiful,” he says with a mouth full of cereal.
“Morning. Did you have any plans today? I was thinking of meeting up with Finn for lunch and spending the day with him. You can come if you want…”
“I was going to head to the beach. I haven’t surfed in a while and the waves look mild enough that I won’t get trampled out there. Can you pick up my suit from the dry cleaners while you’re out? Mom and Dad have a few items waiting as well.”
“Yeah, no problem. I’m going to take the rental then. I’ll be back by four to get dressed for this evening. Maybe we can grab dinner alone after the meet and greet with the South Carolina Business Owner’s Coalition?”
“Absolutely. I’d love to have you all to myself,” he says, leaning over to pepper me with kisses but he still has a milk mustache and I pull back only after he’s wiped his milky face on my cheek. “I’m going to hit some waves,” he says, standing. “See you tonight.”
I run upstairs to finish dressing and decide to head into town early to grab the dry cleaning. It’s a nice day out and I miss the weather on this coastline and the smell of the ocean. It’s so different from the west coast. The time to myself has put me in such a good mood that the loads of clothes I pick up for William and Emily, and the price tag along with it, doesn’t even bother me. I head to the restaurant a little early and the deck is wide open, so the hostess seats me out back.
I decide to order a drink while I wait, and I pull up a new book on the Kindle app on my phone. Tarryn Fisher has just released a new psychological thriller that I’m dying to read. I know I get sucked into the story when the slurping of my empty drink pulls me out of it. Drats. I hadn’t intended to drink that so quickly, but I wasn’t paying attention how much I was sucking down while I read.
“So that’s how today is going to go.” I turn around to a familiar voice, and the hostess is showing Finn to where I’m sitting. “Can you ask the bartender to order another round of whatever she’s having? I’ll take one too.” She nods her head and turns to leave.
I stand to greet him. He seems different in person than he always is over the phone, he has an air of confidence about him. He pulls me into a hug almost immediately which is new territory for us, but it feels right, nonetheless.
“I missed you,” I tell him.
“We talk like at least once a week,” he says.
“I know, but you’re one of my best friends.” He and April are pretty much my closest friends.
“I know. I missed you too,” he finally says playfully.
Finn was the first person I told when I ran into Reece and things started falling apart… or falling together for the two of us. April understood how I felt as a woman, but Finn got the history. He knew my relationship with Lawson and understood how poorly things ended with his family.
“So I haven’t heard much from you since you landed, how awful has it been?” he grimaces.
“It’s been okay,” I huff out. “Emily and William have been… pleasant. It’s weird actually. They’re acting like the past doesn’t even exist.”
“So, what, like they stood up and shook your hand and introduced themselves again?”
A small laugh comes from me. “No, it’s just, that they don’t talk about it and they don’t seem to have such an aversion to me dating their son. I just can’t figure out if it’s because Reece isn’t in politics and taking over the family name, or if they’ve truly grown from the process when I first met them six years ago.”
“Well, the Calhouns wouldn’t hide it if they disliked you. Maybe it’s been about Lawson this entire time. I’d like to say they were looking out for you. Especially with Turkish relations being so rocky the past few years, it’s hard to know how people would respond if he was dating or even had married someone native to there. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear.”
“No, it’s fine. I get it. I just don’t think it was their choice to make or at least could have been more appropriate the way they expressed their concern about it. The things they said back then were incredibly crass and I would never vote for a senator that thinks like that or talks like that. I may be Turkish, I am also American, but I know in politics only one of those matters. I don’t miss that scene.”
He nods his head, and the table grows a touch silent as the waitress drops off our drinks.
“And Lawson? You are staying in the same house, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I don’t think Reece told him he was bringing me. It was time for me to come back and finally face everyone, but Lawson’s face when he opened the door was horrified. I wanted to address it with Reece but I’m not exactly in a position to pick a fight when he’s the only person in that house who likes me.”
“Yeah, I get the feeling he may have very purposefully thought that one out,” Finn says.
“And Lawson, well he just seems hateful. I guess I had hoped his anger had died down.”
“Why would it? You never gave him a chance to be mad at you before. Grant had to hear about it, I had to hear about it. I’m sure Reece had to deal with his moods as well back then, but you never let him have a voice about it. He never took it out on you.”
That hurts some even though I know he’s right. “Yeah, he made that perfectly clear the first night when he came into my room and basically told me he wasn’t planning to forgive me and has just made every run-in with him uncomfortable and awkward.” I’m breathing a little heavy and know I’m letting my own annoyance affect me. “Including when he walked in on me in the bathroom with only a towel on, right after I had… finished with Reece.”
He screws his face into a gruesome-looking frown and rubs his hand over his face, clearly uncomfortable. I’m not sure which part made him feel that way, but his discomfort is evident in his features. “Have you talked to him lately? Lawson, that is.”
“Yeah. I saw him a few nights ago. I guess after his announcement that he was running. I couldn’t make the announcement itself due to work but saw him that night over at Jason’s place. We talked a bit, but never anything personal. I knew you had just flown in, but he was surrounded by different lawyers and their wives all evening.”
“Jason drug him in completely smashed that night. I couldn’t believe he would do that immediately after entering the race. That’s not like him.”
“Maybe you don’t know what is like him anymore and what’s not,” he suggests. He says it kindly, but the intention is clear. I’m sitting here judging Lawson for being an asshole when I haven’t bothered to understand his life or where he’s at with it.
“Fair enough,” I declare defeat to Finn, just wanting to talk about anything else.
“Don’t get me wrong. He’s not turned into a mess but he’s just different than he was back then. His morals have loosened, especially now that he’s not under his parents’ reign. Sometimes those decisions include getting plastered after a big day. We kept it quiet. Jason got him home safe. All is well in the world.”
; I feel my bitterness creep up that he’s finally found his voice, and it was too late. At least, too late for us.
“Yeah, this Jason character. You know him? I get a shady vibe.”
“We’ve all known Jason since we were kids. He’s from here and still has a house here. He’s a good guy. He’s also Lawson’s campaign manager, so if anyone has to keep him looking good in the public eye, it’s him,” he pauses. “Why, has he said something?”
“No. I’ve only had a handful of encounters with him, but he doesn’t exactly give me the warm fuzzies.”
“I can only assume Jason knows about your past with Lawson. Lawson should have told him everything and really, he’s got a squeaky-clean past, with the exception of a messy break up where he fell apart for a few months and now that woman is dating his brother. It’s probably the biggest part of Lawson’s life that Jason is left to hide.”
Hide it? This isn’t a conspiracy theory or illegal transactions. “Shouldn’t that plan be discussed with me?”
“I’m sure they will include you if it becomes necessary. Until then, I’m sure Lawson and Reece have discussed it along with Jason. There’s been no deep dig into his dating past, as he’s in a relationship with Kayla so I see no reason as to why they’d go digging in the meantime. It’s why I assume Reece has brought you. To put a strong image of y’all’s relationship. He may not be in politics, but he was raised in it enough to know how the game is played.”
A few years studying law did not prep me for the ugly game that is politics. I don’t know why any of it surprises me anymore, but I feel a sudden pang of hurt that Reece would pack me along as part of a marketing scheme, especially since Lawson seemed surprised to see me. My thoughts trail off and I begin to wonder if maybe Reece decided on his own to bring me as an opportunity to confirm our relationship to Lawson, to prove himself and the relationship as worthy and real.
The slurping sound of an empty drink comes from my straw and I realize in my daze I sucked down the rest of my drink.
Finn offers me a knowing smile and I can tell he’s holding back a laugh. “It can’t be that bad. Plus, don’t you miss Charleston or South Carolina even a little bit?”
“It’s beautiful here, but that’s really all it is to me, I had so few memories I associate with positive emotions from here. You and Cher. And I rarely hear from her. She’s so busy. She finished her residency earlier this year and got a job as an attending at a hospital in Charlotte.”
“Well, you’ll always have me,” he offers, reaching his hand across the table and placing it on mine. I stare down at it and hold his hand back. He pulls it back after just a moment and flags down the waitress for another round and orders us an appetizer.
Feeling emotionally exhausted, I switch the conversation over to Finn. Most of our texts and conversations consist of inside jokes and GIFs made to make the other laugh, so it’s not often enough that we get to have real meaningful conversations.
“How’s your practice? Tax law everything you dreamed it would be?” I tease.
“Ah, yes. The true American dream.” He laughs with me. “Dad’s looking at retirement so I’m just fine-tuning before I take it all over. The work is steady, and it’s not always exciting, but it keeps me comfortable.”
“Finn, you’re smart and kind and caring. You can be whatever you want. I know you’re content but just know that if you ever want to start over, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“See, you’re the dreamer of the two of us, and much better at starting over than I ever was. New beginnings are terrifying to me. This is me, Finn, we’re talking about, safe and conservative Finn.” I nod, accepting his explanation.
“What about a woman? Are you dating?”
He rolls his eyes at me in an exasperated way. “You ask this every time we speak.”
“And you rarely give me an answer I’m happy about.”
“No, I work a lot and I just am not into the online dating scene. I want to meet someone organically.”
“I totally get that, but you have to go somewhere other than the office if you expect to meet someone organically. You’re a catch, Finn Andrews. Let someone see it.”
He rapidly changes the topic on me when our appetizer arrives with more drinks and I feel tipsy from the two I’ve already had. The rest of our conversation becomes more light-hearted, our usual joking. I’m not sure if it’s because we got the heavier topics out of the way or because the alcohol is taking its toll on us and making us a little loopy, but Finn and I settle into our usual banter. We sit on the patio enjoying the nice weather and allow ourselves to get toasted on alcohol and before I know it, it’s three-thirty and I need to get back home in time to rinse off and change for tonight’s event.
“You shouldn’t drive,” Finn says. “I’m getting you an Uber.” He shows me his phone to display that one is already on his way.
“Hey! That’s a great idea,” I say, a touch slurred. “Order yourself Ubers until you find a hot girl.”
He gives me an ‘are you serious’ look.
“Okay fine, I’ve had better ideas,” I admit. “Will I see you again before I leave on Sunday?”
“Not sure. Message me if you’re free one evening or Saturday. Otherwise I probably shouldn’t skip work to get drunk anymore.” He winks at me.
“We have that stupid gala on Saturday. Oh! You should go!” Having Finn there would make things so much easier.
“And have you set me up while we’re there? Sorry Charlie, you won’t catch me at those events.”
“I’m not sure how you were so close to Lawson and Grant. You don’t like the high life the way they do.”
He faces his phone to me. “Todd has arrived in a red Ford Focus.”
“Ugh fine. Give me a hug. I’ll message you if we have any time free up.”
He stands, and I go to hug my best friend and know it will be too long before we see each other in person again.
We wave our goodbyes and I head for the door but blitz back around when I realize I didn’t pay for my drinks. I spot Finn handing over his card and paying off our tab and he shakes his card in the air at me to indicate that he’s taking care of it. I head back to my Uber and remember at the last minute to grab the dry cleaning from the rental car before I get in.
When I arrive back at the Calhoun’s, I rush upstairs and hop in the shower, hoping to sober a bit. I’m not wasted but I don’t want to appear even the slightest bit intoxicated at tonight’s event. I’m applying my makeup when I hear a double knock on the door and Reece walks in still in his wet suit.
“Hey, have you been surfing all day?”
“Mostly,” he says, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. “I came in for lunch and took a nap but otherwise I was out there. How was your lunch with Finn?”
“Good! I uh, we both had a few drinks, so he called me an Uber. Maybe we can go pick the car up after this event?”
Reece just laughs at me. “Sure, hon. I’m going to shower. Mom and Dad can drive us, and we can Uber over to the restaurant again after… we can even eat there again if you aren’t burnt out.”
“No, that sounds perfect! We only had a bunch of appetizers.”
“Alright.” He kisses me again. “See you in a few.”
When he leaves, I realize I can hear a low buzzing and search the bedroom for my phone. I find it on the bed and pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey it’s Finn. Was Todd a respectable driver? I have to leave him a rating.”
“Only you, Finn. Only you would care about the rating of an Uber you weren’t even in. Yes, Todd was a fine driver. You can give him a good score.”
“I had to make sure he wasn’t an axe murderer!” he says as if it’s the only logical response, and we say our goodbyes again.
Reece makes an excuse for why the car isn’t here to his parents and we ride with them over to the conference center and he lets them know he plans to take me to dinner, after… just the two of us. I love that he carves
out us time even though this trip isn’t about us. I’m excited to have some of our first one-on-one time since we arrived last weekend.
Lawson schmoozes with the various members of the South Carolina Business Owner’s Coalition. He seems to be quite familiar with many of them already despite the fact that they range in age from men his father’s age to those that look even younger than us. Reece even appears to know quite a few of the men and women.
I spot Kayla in the corner of the room, hanging out by a small table with light refreshments. I wave at her and head to stand near her, knowing we can feel like outsiders together.
“Hey again,” I say to her as I approach.
“Hi! I’m glad to see you here. You and Reece haven’t made a few of the events, I wasn’t sure if you’d returned to Oregon.”
“No, we leave after the gala this weekend. I assume we will see you there?” I ask her.
“Actually, no. I need to leave tomorrow to return to Columbia. I’m on call.”
“Oh well that’s a shame, but those events can be so stuffy anyway. What do you do for work?”
“I’m a child psychologist.”
“That sounds fascinating,” I tell her. “I’m an ER nurse back in Portland, although I’d really like to be in administration. I have a pipe dream of creating a free clinic there. The cost of living is outrageous, and many can’t afford healthcare.”
“That’s a very ambitious and philanthropic gesture. I hope you’re successful. We need all the great minds we can find in our hospitals.”