by Hall, Linsey
“Do you know where it is?”
She shrugged. “Not enough to aetherwalk there, but I’ve heard it’s located in the middle of the biggest glacier. If I got close enough, I’m sure I’d sense the old magic.”
“Gods damn it. Why did she no’ just tell us to go there in the first place?”
Her eyes narrowed. “For the same reason the letter is addressed to me and hidden in a place that only a soulceress can enter. She wants me to come to her. Only me. But you never mentioned that she knew me. Were you ever planning to tell me?”
Shite. Truth or lie? A lie would be easier. But she already mistrusted him. Another lie could be the one that permanently broke this fragile thing between them, if it hadn’t been destroyed already. And he didn’t want to lie to her, not anymore. He’d lied to so many. The praise he’d received for his work, his good deeds, was hollow from people who didn’t know who he truly was. What he’d done.
The idea of true honesty with anyone, but with her especially, was irresistible. “Aye, she wanted you specifically. And nay, I probably wasn’t going to tell you. I wasn’t even going to let you get near her, for fear of what she’d do to you.”
“So you didn’t mean it when you said you wouldn’t kill her?”
“She canna be allowed to live.”
“You don’t know that! Why did she ask for me specifically? Who is she to me?”
“Just another soulceress. She said she wanted a friend. It’s ridiculous.”
Something like pleasure shone in her eyes. It made him nervous. Esha liked the idea of being Aurora’s friend. Something dark and sick welled within him that had nothing to do with Aurora’s magic. Over his dead body.
“The witches think she’ll try to steal your power,” he told her.
She laughed. “Steal it? That’s not possible.”
“Aye, it is. The witches said so, and she’s more than capable of it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You doona have to. But it’s the reason she wants to meet you, and the reason she never will. I’ll no’ let her take your power from you.”
She shot him a skeptical look. “Whatever. You’d like me better without it. Why are you telling me the truth now?”
“Because I doona want to lie anymore. And I would no’ prefer you without it. No longer. It’s part of you.”
“I’m not even going to pretend I believe what you’re saying.” She leaned down to pick up the envelope. “We’re going to find her. You can’t do it without me, that’s clear. We’ll see who gets to her first, and who gets what they want. And you’re wrong.”
He’d made a giant fucking mess of this. A month ago, he’d pushed her away because of what she was and the vows that he’d made, all the while she’d been throwing herself at him. Now, as he realized how much she was starting to mean to him, he kept screwing things up and pushing her farther away.
If he could just get Aurora out of the way, everything would be fine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Esha climbed out of the passenger seat of the Range Rover and onto a huge green field milling with hundreds of cheering Mytheans. The sun shone as brightly as it had at the house, sparkling on the saltwater loch she could see from the field. Someone had probably called in a favor from a weather witch to keep the rain away for the games.
It was still cold, though, and she yanked up the zipper of the jacket that Warren had repaired for her. She should have thanked him for the jacket, but her initial awkwardness this morning had been replaced by anger at his secrets.
Did knowing the reason for his lies—that he wanted to protect her—outweigh the sin of the lie? She had no idea. She just knew that she was tired of trying to figure it all out.
“Well, now what?” Warren asked as he joined her. They’d parked off to the side of the festivities with the other vehicles. They watched hundreds of Mytheans crowding food and beer stalls and gathered around a group of individuals tossing great logs through the air.
“Ten pounds that girl wins the caber toss.” Esha jerked her head toward a small blond woman about to heave a log.
“I won’t be taking that bet, lassie.”
“Figured I’d give it a try.” Taking his money might make her feel better, at least a little.
Esha watched Ana heave the caber nearly 100 meters down the field. She hadn’t expected her friend to be here, but Ana had always been competitive. It made sense for her to sneak out of Otherworld for the games. Since she was one of the more ancient goddesses, a normal Mythean would have a hard time beating her unnatural strength.
Esha turned from her friend and walked toward the far end of the field, where a group of spectators milled around a beer stall.
“Do you no’ want to head toward the strongest competitors?” Warren asked from her side.
Ouch. “You really think I’d go steal another Mythean’s power right as they’re about to compete?”
“Of course you would no’.”
“Sure I would.” What was it about him that made her lie and say things to make him think the worst of her? Even back when she’d wanted him to like her, she’d done it occasionally. Anytime someone thought the worst of her, her porcupine quills went up and she said whatever they were most expecting to hear.
Now, with the mixed signals he kept throwing at her—nice gestures combined with lies and disgusted looks—she wanted to put him neatly into a box that wouldn’t hurt her. A closed box.
“You would no’. You’re just saying that to throw me off.”
She shrugged, but by then they had reached the group of spectators. The glorious rush of power soared through her, like sunlight melting the ice that had filled her body. She closed her eyes to enjoy it. There were so many people here that they wouldn’t even notice feeling a bit tired. If a witch tried to perform a huge spell, she might find that she didn’t have enough juice, but that was unlikely. And she’d get it back soon enough.
She looked down at the Chairman to find him rubbing himself against Warren’s leg. Apparently sometime during the last couple of days, while she’d been out, the Chairman had decided that he didn’t hate Warren.
“What the hell have you been feeding my cat?” Had he been nice to the Chairman? He hated the Chairman.
“Nothing.” But his face was too innocent.
She tapped her foot, then raised a hand as if she were going to cast a spell at him.
“Fine. I made a fire for him.”
The Chairman did like fires. “And…?”
“Might have opened a tuna can. He can open the fridge himself and get whatever meat is inside, but the tuna can was giving him trouble.”
This big warrior had opened a tuna can for her cat? A cat he used to hate? What the hell was going on here? Lies and manipulation, while mending her jacket and feeding her cat?
Overwhelmed, she spun around and headed over to another group of spectators to fuel up on more power and get some space to try to ground herself after such startling revelations. If the Chairman wanted to be a traitor for a fire and some tuna, he was his own cat. If she were honest with herself, she couldn’t blame him.
Warren watched Esha storm off and cursed.
“Why are you such an asshole?” A feminine voice demanded from behind him.
He turned to see the small blonde who’d tossed the caber so far. She was slight and pale, but an angry energy radiated from her and made her appear far larger. Apparently she’d snuck up on him while he’d been watching Esha.
“You’re Esha’s friend?” Warren asked.
“Yeah. And the Celtic goddess of victory, so you’d best not be messing with my friend or I’ll make you regret it.”
“You’re Andrasta.”
“Yeah, you got that right.” She stuck out her chin. She was an antagonistic little thing, with speech that was far more modern than most gods’.
“What’s your problem?” he asked.
“You. I watched you from the other side of the field. What’d yo
u say to Esha to make her storm off?”
“I probably put my foot in my mouth.”
She stepped back, as if surprised by his admission, but recovered quickly. “You do that a lot, from what I hear.”
Esha had told her about him? “Aye, I’ve been known to.”
She scowled and tapped her foot, taking his measure.
“So, you know about Esha’s past,” he said. He didn’t understand her, but he wanted to. She wasn’t pissed that he’d fed the cat; it ate anything it could get its paws on. Once he’d even heard her tell it they’d order pizza soon and that it could have half Hawaiian.
So why hadn’t she liked the fact that he’d been nice to her cat? He’d done it because the beast had grown on him when he realized how important it was to Esha’s health and happiness, but she’d been upset by an innocuous deed. As she’d been upset last night, ready to jump to the worst conclusion about him.
A conclusion he deserved. He’d been a lying bastard. But even before she knew the extent of his lies, she’d been ready to write him off. Why was trust so hard for her?
“Why is she so…” He gestured with his hands, trying to explain her.
“Awesome?”
“Nay. I mean, aye, she is. But no’ that. Why is she so—ah—difficult?”
“Difficult? You mean, wary? Tough? Prickly like a porcupine?”
“Aye. She doesn’t trust easily. At all, really.”
Andrasta’s eyes lit up. “Because you are all assholes.” She gestured wildly with her hands. “Every single one of you at that university is a giant asshole. Except that new girl, Diana. Esha said she doesn’t suck.”
“What the hell?”
The goddess, who looked more like a pissed-off college student, grabbed an arrow out of thin air and twirled it in her fingers, faster and faster as she scowled at him. She chewed on her lip, clearly thinking of what to say next.
“Esha cherishes her badassery. It’s her armor. I’m not going to give anything away that threatens that. But think about this… What if every Mythean in the world treated you like shit because of something you couldn’t control? Everywhere you went, you were met with sidelong glances or outright disgust? For her, it started as soon as she came into her power, with some stupid boyfriend who ditched her, and it only got worse. She doesn’t even actually hurt anyone.”
As he’d suspected. “But her power reaping…?”
“Oh fates, don’t call it reaping. How creepy is that? Like that guy in the black cape that some mortals believe in. Who is he? The grim reaper? You’re comparing her to the freaking death guy when you do that. Anyway, it doesn’t actually hurt people. Makes them a little weak for a while. Maybe they won’t win their next fight. But if they don’t get into one, it doesn’t ever matter anyway.”
“I never—”
“Yeah, you didn’t know, because she doesn’t get power off you. She told me. But you still hate her for something she can’t control, and it doesn’t even affect you.”
“I doona hate her.” The opposite—more every day. “But she doesn’t care that other people doona like her. She relishes it, from the way she acts.” But that wasn’t true now. He was just fighting it because it made him realize how badly he’d probably hurt her.
And how much she probably wanted Aurora as a friend. Aurora had played her so well. And him. Dangling the one thing Esha truly wanted in front of them both.
Once, he wouldn’t have cared whether Esha got what she wanted. Now, he wanted nothing more than to fill her days with friends, to show her that they’d all been wrong about her.
When the hell had he become such a sap? It was threatening his end goals, which truly were a matter of life or death. Not for him, but for her as well.
Andrasta confirmed his suspicions when she said, “Yeah, because she has to. She’s pretended that she likes it until it has almost become a reality. She comes off all I don’t care and badass to protect herself—it’s really not that hard to figure out. But deep down, it kills her. And lately, her shell has been cracking. I think it bothers her more than ever. Anyway, the moral of the story is that you’re an asshole. Try not to be.” With a smile that was more a snarl, she strode off toward Esha. Briefly, she turned around to say, “Oh, and go fuck yourself.”
Warren heaved a sigh and rocked back on his heels. What a bitch. With a grin, he realized that he liked her. And that Esha was so much more complex than he’d realized. Beneath her tough exterior, years of rejection had her ready to be disappointed, ready to mistrust, ready to run.
He’d lived down to her poor expectations. Hurt had shone through the anger in her blazing eyes last night. She hated being feared. Being despised for what she was. Decades of rejection had her looking for it at every turn, and he’d obliged. He hadn’t meant it. His panic had been about his own fucked-up self. But how was she to know that? And when she was so damaged, how was he to convince her?
Esha frowned at the sight of Ana walking away from Warren. She’d been watching the hill race and absorbing the power of the spectators when she’d caught sight of the pair of them out of the corner of her eye. What had they been talking about? Ana was headed toward her, and she picked up her pace when she got closer.
“Esha!” Ana called, a broad smile stretched across her face. She flung herself into Esha’s arms for a hug when she reached her, and Esha grinned broadly. They pulled apart. Damn, it was good to see Ana, even if it had been a short while since she’d seen her last. With her life acting so crazy all of a sudden, the familiar felt even better.
“You wipe the floor with them?” Esha nodded toward the caber field.
“Yeah. Almost didn’t, but pulled it out in the end.”
“As you do. How long are you out of Otherworld for?”
“Another hour or so.”
“Too bad it can’t be longer.”
Ana shook her head and danced nervously on nimble feet. “No. Things are happening in Otherworld.”
Esha frowned at the look on Ana’s face. She was scared. “What is it? What can I do?”
“I don’t think you can do anything. But I think Camulos might be alive.”
“What?” The word came out in a near-screech. “No, that’s terrible.” Fear made her skin prickle. The god whom Ana had killed was still alive? He’d want vengeance on her friend.
“I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how he could still be alive. I thought I killed him. But I can feel him, and I couldn’t before. I came here to the Games to see if anyone had heard anything, but they haven’t. I don’t know where he is, but he could be after me. He might want his godhood back.” Ana’s mouth was pinched in fear.
Esha’s stomach dropped. To get his godhood back, he’d have to kill Ana. Nothing could happen to her best friend. She wouldn’t let it. “He won’t get to you. He won’t. I’ll help you.”
“You’ve got stuff to deal with.”
“I can fit it in. I can always fit it in for you.”
Ana smiled, reached out, and squeezed her hand. “Thanks. I don’t think he can aetherwalk. So few can. As long as he can’t, I’ve got a huge advantage. I’m on my guard here, and I’m protected in Otherworld.”
“Seriously, Ana, if you need me, I’ll be there.”
“I know. If I learn more, I’ll let you know.”
“Swear?”
“Yeah. But more important, what’s up with Warren?”
“Things are a mess, of course. What were you two talking about?”
“He wanted to know about you. I gave him hell, but I don’t get what your deal is with him.”
“No deal. He can’t see past what I am, and I’m too smart to deal with that kind of shit.” The words sounded false even in her own ears.
“Are you sure? Because he was asking about you. I think he was trying to understand you.”
Really? She scowled at the little burst of hope. “It doesn’t matter. We’re a mess, and we can’t seem to meet on equal ground. It’s bound to end in disaster.�
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“Maybe. Or maybe you’re just waiting for people to reject you.”
“Can you blame me?”
Ana sighed and looked away. “Well, no. But I think Warren might be different.”
“I wish.” And I wish I were different.
She felt like she was drowning in this situation, unable to figure out Warren’s motivations and feelings and unable to interpret her own. All she knew was that he made her feel crazy. And she hated that. Worse, he was still determined to kill Aurora. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s been lying about Aurora, the other soulceress. Apparently she wants to see me specifically. And he won’t budge on sparing her life, even when he knows how important it is to me. It’s a deal breaker, so there’s really not much to be done.”
“Bastard.”
“Yeah. But it’s cool. It sets me straight on how this is going to go—all business from here on out. And the first thing on the list is finding Aurora and keeping Warren away from her. I’m not going to worry about him anymore. It was a bad idea in the first place.” He made her too freaking melodramatic, crying and yelling and throwing all kinds of fits that weren’t normal for her. It was unacceptable, and frankly, it freaked her out.
“Yeah, good idea,” Ana said.
Esha could tell from her voice that Ana didn’t believe her. Worse, she wasn’t sure she believed herself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“That puddle jumper is supposed to get us to Iceland?” Esha asked.
“Aye. It’ll do fine. The university has been using it for years,” Warren said.
The pilot gestured to them from the small set of stairs that led up to the university’s private jet, and he started forward across the rain-darkened tarmac of the small Mythean airstrip on the south side of Mull.