His eyes searched in vain past the gruesome pictures that flashed around him. A familiar item, some sort of focal point to distract him from the horrible images would help. His stomach cramped in protest and he fell back gasping. The neon numbers from the clock on the nightstand glowed casting an eerie glow across the floor where he lay. It was three-thirty in the morning.
A few moments later, wearing a hooded sweatshirt, he ran from the house. Perhaps a few miles of running would exhaust him enough to fall into a dreamless slumber.
A light flickered outside Tesha's house. He made a wide circle on the road to jog past.
Barefoot, in her short nightshirt, she paced inside with a glass of wine in her hand. She seemed to be swaying to music. When she wiped a tear from her cheek, the action tore into Adam's chest. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, to comfort her from whatever it was that kept her awake.
Chop. Chop. Chop. Chop.
The sounds of the helicopter blades returned and he turned running as fast as he could away from her.
Two broken souls, he and Tesha were. It was probably what brought them together. Like calls to like, and all that. No, it was more than that. She called to him in a way that had nothing to do with her brokenness. Yes, her husband was dead, a victim of the same war, but she'd moved on. Unlike him, she didn't have the anxiety of having experienced all the death and violence. Instead of allowing the past to claim her, she moved forward. Helped others, smiled, and gave. The woman impressed him to no end.
He thought back to her in his bed, straddling him. Her beautiful naked body over his, the plush curves he'd ran his hands over. Tesha made love to him like no one else had. Her lips on his skin were like a soothing balm to his tortured soul.
Lightness lifted in his chest with such swiftness he stopped running and stood in the middle of the isolated road. Overhead the stars glistened and for the first time in hours, when he removed the headphones all he heard were the songs of crickets. He waited and listened.
Adam turned and sprinted back. He went to her back door and she opened it. "Adam?"
He went to her and pulled her against him, instantly his mouth over hers in an attempt to take all her worries away, to soothe her like she'd done him. Tesha reacted by wrapping her arms around his neck and moaning softly.
His mission became to replace the saltiness of her tears with the taste of their kisses. "I want to make love to you. Help you forget."
With sudden strength, she pushed him away her eyes lifting to him. For a few beats her eyes searched his face. "I don't want to forget anything, Adam. I am being silly. Mad because I couldn't sleep and my first reaction was to go to your house. To go to you. I'm all right." She reached and cupped his face. "Especially now that you came to me instead."
Sliding his arm under her legs, he lifted her and carried her to the bedroom. He kissed her temple. "I'm a sweaty mess. Want to take a shower together?"
"Yes."
The sun was high in the horizon by the time Adam walked into his house.
In the kitchen his brother Jensen looked up and instantly tried to hide the worried look. "Hey, bro. You're out and about early."
"Went for a run."
"Long run."
Adam ignored him and went to the coffee pot. Jensen had already made coffee. With a fresh beverage in hand, Adam sat on a barstool and watched as his brother attempted to make pancakes. All of his brothers could cook. Besides spending time in the garage with their father, they all shared the cooking duties with their mom. She'd taught them each not just the basics, but also a special recipe. His was lasagna, Jensen's was definitely not pancakes. The ones he'd already made were odd shaped and lumpy.
"Hungry?" His brother said over his shoulder.
"Yep."
They ate in companionable silence. Jensen checked his email on his electronic gadget while eating the amazingly good pancakes. He looked up from the screen. "I got a movie coming up and they want to shoot in a small town. I suggested Lovely. This house."
Adam groaned. Jensen was the hottest movie star in Hollywood so his suggestions were taken seriously. Voted sexiest man alive twice didn't stop him from being the pesky younger brother to Adam.
"No way. They already treat me like I'm some big shot in this town. Don't need you prancing around town making it worse."
"You are a big shot. An all-American hero. The best kind."
"Pick a different town."
Jensen gave him the "it's too late" look and Adam hung his head. "When?"
"A couple weeks, or a month. You know how it is, nothings ever on schedule." His brother became animated. One thing he could say for Jensen, the guy genuinely loved what he did. "I'm going to play an immortal hero with super powers, who goes to a small town to attempt a normal life."
Adam continued to eat and Jensen reached over and jabbed at his shoulder. "Aren't you interested in what my super powers will be?"
"Muteness?"
"Nah. I'm going to have the ability to read minds and I'll have an awesome metal arm."
"Cool."
"Yeah."
"You're not doing it here."
"Can't change it, I don't have any control over it."
"Damn it, Jensen."
His brother gave him his usual crooked smile that women went crazy over. Adam, not so much. He wanted to punch him in the face at the moment. "Hey, if you're nice to me, I'll get you a walk-on part."
"That's so not happening."
Chapter Ten
"You should go see about him." Mrs. Miller watched Tesha closely. She'd been looking out the window towards Adam's house. It had been several days since she'd seen him. The morning after they'd made love, he'd been gone when she woke. Tesha did not want to go after him, especially if he needed space and privacy. They did not have the type of relationship where she felt comfortable enough to go to his home and ask what happened.
For a couple of days, there had been a car in Adam's driveway, a sleek classic black Jaguar. One morning, Tesha caught sight of a man walking around the car, talking into a cell phone, but she couldn't make out his features. She suspected it was one of Adam's three brothers, by the resemblance in height and build.
"He warned me that if he ever stayed away it was best for me not to go after him. My guess is, he's afraid to hurt me if he's having an episode. Besides, I don't want to be the nosy neighbor." She flushed and attempted to hide behind her teacup. "He had a visitor. Looked like one of his brothers."
Mrs. Miller smiled into her cup of tea. "You're more than neighbors. When he mentioned you, his face softened. I think he's sweet on you and you are not indifferent to him either, are you?"
How insightful this woman was. Tesha shook her head and couldn't help another glance out the window. "No, Mrs. Miller I am not indifferent to Adam Ford, but I am smart enough to know it's best to not get too attached to a man like him."
"Love conquers many things." By her friend's faraway look it was obvious she no longer saw the immediate surroundings. "I haven't told you how I came to end up here in Lovely."
Mrs. Miller's smile became soft. "I was so in love with Randy Miller that I could barely stand it. He was handsome and best of all, in spite of being quite popular in our town, set his eyes on me. When he was drafted to go to Vietnam in 1970, he asked me to marry him. How I wish I would have." She let out a sigh.
"But my parents didn't care for the fast boy, as they called him and I wasn't brave enough to stand up to them. So he left and I cried myself to sleep for many nights." She took a sip of her tea and look out the window to Adam's house.
"Adam reminds me of him in a way. We wrote, Randy and I for months, and then suddenly his letters stopped. I was terrified that he may have been killed, so I went to his house. The entire family was gone. I was told his father was in jail and his mother had moved south to Florida." Mrs. Miller's eyes welled. "It took me a long time to get over him. I hated myself for not marrying Randy when he'd asked me. Eventually I got married to Edward, a boy my pa
rents approved of. Bless his heart, the dullest man I've ever known. The most exciting thing Edward did was mow the grass." They chuckled together.
"So," Mrs. Miller continued. "After Edward died in his forties suddenly of a heart attack. God knows how that happened; I know it's not a nice thing to say." She didn't look a bit sorry. "I decided to return to Tennessee and start anew. Not sure where to exactly settle, I read a magazine article about a small town named Lovely that was restoring itself. I opened the pages, and there in front of Miller's hardware stood Randy Miller."
"Oh my goodness. What did you do?" Tesha exclaimed barely able to sit still.
Mrs. Miller laughed at her excitement. "I raced here as fast as my old car would take me. I hadn't seen Randy in twenty years, but as soon as I walked into the store, he ran to me and we hugged. We got married two weeks later."
"That is so romantic." Tesha sniffed. "I hate that you lost him again so soon after."
"Yes,” Mrs. Miller replied with another deep sigh. "Randy died in a car accident. A woman hit him while searching in her purse for something."
"That's horrible."
"We had twenty wonderful years."
Tesha reached for Mrs. Miller's hand. "I only had five years with David."
The women remained silent for a long time, each lost in the memories of having found love and the great pain that came with that loss.
After Mrs. Miller left, Tesha walked around her house with a clipboard making notes to update her project board. If all went well, she would be open for business in two months’ time. First she'd have to come up with a name and set up her business license. It looked like besides painting and finishing her garden space, the plumbing and wiring had to be completed.
"Now to find a good name." She wrote down "The Haven" on her piece of paper. Then scratched it out. Did the same with several more ideas. Nothing struck a chord. Finally, she sat on the stairs and closed her eyes. The house had a certain feel to it, a restlessness about it that was interesting. Almost as if it too could not wait to fulfill its purpose. She inhaled deeply and listened. Soft jazz music from her office filled the air, a hint of rosemary from the plant outside the kitchen window tickled her nose, and then she sensed it. Peace. The elusive thing she'd been waiting for. The breeze caressed her face as if reaching to her and soothing her soul.
This house would disclose its name when it was ready and it would be the perfect place for war widows to come and be alone, away from the pitying glances and the day-to-day demands. For one week, they'd do nothing more than read, garden, drink tea, and rest. Tesha's lips curved. It would be the place she wished she could’ve escaped to when David died. Minutes later she stood and went inside.
The knock on the door startled her. Adam was on the other side of the glass holding a pan. From his arm a plastic bag dangled. Tesha's stomach pitched at his handsome face. The affect he had on her was both troublesome and exciting.
His face remained impassive when she opened the door.
She smiled up at him. "Hi."
"I brought dinner."
"That's great." Her stomach grumbled at the wonderful smell. "Did you make me your famous lasagna?"
He nodded. "I brought some bread and two bottles of wine too. I wasn't sure what kind you'd like."
Tesha moved back to let him pass and took the bag from his arm once he placed the pan of lasagna on the counter. He watched in silence as she removed the cork on the bottle of merlot and poured two glasses. Self conscious at his scrutiny, Tesha held a glass out to him. "How have you been?"
He shrugged instead of replying. "Where are your plates?"
"Here," Tesha told him while attempting to gauge his mood and opened a cabinet and took two plates out. Then put them on the counter.
Adams arms went around her from behind and he kissed her shoulder. "I've been thinking about you."
His mouth covered hers when she turned to look at him. The kiss was perfect, what she'd been missing and it ended too soon when her stomach grumbled. "Let's get you fed." Adam reached for the spatula.
While Adam cut the pasta and placed it on the plates, Tesha set the table for two. She wanted to tell him so many things. Ask him about the past days, what he'd done and why he'd not called or come by. But she supposed he could say the same in response. But she'd been told to stay away and damn it, she'd not make a fool of herself by chasing after him.
His eyes met hers when they sat on the table and began eating. "I hope you like it."
Everything became him at once. All she could taste, see, hear, and sense was Adam. Her entire being submersed in him, as if dunked under water and not able to feel anything other than the water. She inhaled sharply and swallowed. How had it come to this? What did he do to her that could affect her so much?
She wanted a relationship, yes, but only a casual one at this point. This felt like so much more and it terrified her. Perhaps it happened to everyone with someone as attractive as Adam was. A relationship with a forbidden person who overwhelms because it's the one nobody wants to find themselves in.
Adam was the first man she'd allowed into her heart since David and it wasn't safe to think it could be something permanent. Tesha lifted the forkful of lasagna to her mouth and ate it. It was amazing. He'd combined herbs into the sauce and the meat so each bite was savory, but not overly seasoned. She met his questioning gaze. "This is delicious. No wonder your mother asks for it."
His lips twitched, the closest she'd seen to him smile. "Thanks."
It was almost sundown, the dimming sunlight streamed into the kitchen, giving it almost a candlelight affect.
Both she and Adam ate a second helping of the pasta dish while she made small talk about the weather and her plans for the garden. Tesha couldn't contain her questions any longer, plus the silence between them when she didn't initiate a topic, stretched longer and gave her too much time to dwell on his effect on her. "I saw a black Jaguar at your house, looked like an expensive, fast car."
His eyes met hers and he nodded. "One of my brothers came for a couple days."
"Was it a good visit?"
"Most of the time, they use any excuse to stop by. To check up on me. So I don't know if this was a legitimate stopover. He claims his work will bring him back for an extended time."
"So it's not just me you keep at arm’s length?" She kept her eyes on the wine glass in her hand, nervous she'd overstepped.
"It’s best that way."
"What about treatment? Have you looked into it?" This time when she looked at him, he'd sat back in the chair. From his rigid posture, she could tell he wasn't happy at the topic.
"It doesn't work. I’d rather take care of it myself." His closed off expression warned her to back off. Her heart ached for him, knowing that in all this time nothing had worked, or else, he'd not warned her off.
"Adam, do you plan to start off all your future relationships with a warning? Is that what you want for your life?"
He drank the rest of the wine in his glass and reached for the bottle. After he refilled hers, he poured a liberal amount into his own glass. "I've done the research. Most people don't get better. I've decided not to go to a place and sit in a circle listening to every other crazy person like me talk about their issues."
"If you haven't gone, how do you know what happens? I'm sure every place is different. They structure the therapy according to..."
He stood and picked up their plates, in an obvious attempt to end the direction of the conversation. Tesha's heart went out to him as she watched his tense shoulders while he rinsed the plates. She came up beside him with the pan and split the leftovers into two containers. "I'm keeping some for tomorrow. You can take the rest with you."
They finished cleaning and she refilled their wine glasses, watching him as he read over her business plan notes she'd left on the counter. "You're planning to keep this house a business permanently?"
"No." She shook her head. "After a couple years, I think I would like to make it my home. Mayb
e by then I'll be ready to get remarried and have a family." She pushed away the picture of him as her husband. "Maybe I'll start with a dog. Speaking of which, what are you building the pen in the back for?
"A dog. One of my buddies is giving me a pup." He didn't elaborate, but she concluded it was someone who he'd served with.
"What kind of dog?"
"German Shepard, I think."
Her lips curved. “And he's going to be an outside dog then?”
"Probably."
"Good luck with that." She smiled and circled her arms around his waist. "Adam, I missed you."
He pulled her closer and placed his chin on top of her head. They remained locked in each other's arms for a while until he moved back. "I better go."
"Hey." Tesha took his arm. "Don't be angry about what I said. I just want you to think about giving yourself a chance for a better life. Yes, it may not work. But it might. You'll never know unless you try."
"I have been thinking about it. Mom gave me some stuff to look over."
He allowed her to pull him down for a kiss. She slipped her fingers from the side of his face through his hair. "Don't leave. Spend the night."
The next morning Tesha stretched relishing the tightness of her body after a night of making love. Adam was everything she could ask for in a lover. In bed he had no trouble communicating. Their bodies were in sync every single second. He'd left just before dawn and she missed him already.
"Oh no." She pulled the pillow over her face when the sputtering of Fred Shanty's truck sounded in the driveway. He claimed to be a licensed plumber and electrician as well as carpenter and since he'd done a great job on the wall construction, before and after his illness, she decided to give him the work.
If only the man didn't show up so darn early.
Chapter Eleven
The house was too quiet. Adam turned on the radio in the kitchen and stood in the center of the room waiting. The humming in his ears seemed to dull some and he let out a breath of relief. That morning he'd woken soaked in sweat, his heart thundering against his breastbone. It was almost noon and he'd finally gotten to the point where he could stand still.
Even Heroes Cry, Fords of Nashville, Book 1 Page 8