by Jen Haeger
James studied her intensely as she spoke. She maintained eye contact with him and could see the calculation behind his feverish eyes. Evelyn knew what he was going to say. She had blown it.
“You’re lying.”
Evelyn tried hard to keep the emotion off her face, but she broke away from his gaze.
James shook his head again.
“But not just to me, to yourself. You haven’t forgiven him.”
Evelyn was taken aback by his words, but she didn’t deny them. She, of course, had never blamed David for what happened to Tommy, but that wasn’t what came into her mind. The thought that forced its way up from her subconscious was whether or not she had truly forgiven David for what he had done to her own life. She had tried so hard to forgive him, but maybe she couldn’t. Maybe she never would. She dared not look at David, but kept her eyes down on the ground. This wasn’t helping their situation.
“He doesn’t think that he’s a werewolf. He’s helping people. He saved my life. He’s a good person.” Evelyn babbled out truths to try to back-peddle.
“Sorry, Precious, you had your chance,” James said coldly. He turned back to David. “Anything more to explain? Because I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, and my patience had grown kinda thin. I should probably bring up my lack of patience with my therapist in my next session.”
David appeared rather defeated, but suddenly sat upright. “What about Evie?”
“Who, Precious here? Shame really, but I can’t have her identifying me. I could lose my job. You wouldn’t believe it, David, but I’m a cop now. Fighting the good fight…well, at least making sure that justice comes out on top,” James mused.
David struggled to his feet. “You can’t hurt her! That isn’t justice! What happened to an eye for an eye?!”
“Oh I’ll shoot her dead, if you don’t sit down and behave,” James said icily turning the gun on Evelyn.
David’s eyes blazed in anger, but he sat stiffly back down on the couch.
“Justice, David. Let me tell you something about justice. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be hunted? To be afraid to leave a place, but afraid to stay, because you’re sure that some horrible monster is coming to tear your throat out?!” James stood and little flecks of spittle began to fly from his lips as he grew more and more agitated. “I didn’t sleep for two years! For two years, I huddled in the dark waiting for you to come and kill me like you killed Tommy. I had no friends left. I tried to talk to my family, but when I told them that you were a werewolf and that you were hunting me down, they all thought that I was crazy. They wanted to have me committed! I was homeless, running from one filthy, abandoned place to the next, scrabbling just to stay alive and ahead of you. I’d probably have died in some garbage strewn ally and been eaten up by rats if I hadn’t collapsed in a street and been taken to the hospital.”
James had been pacing while he talked and waving the gun wildly about, but now he drew himself together, took a deep breath, and sat in his chair again.
“My family had been looking for me and had sent my picture out to police, hospitals, and morgues. They found me, cleaned me up and got me into therapy. It was Hell. Everyone treating me like an invalid, like an idiot, like a child. I felt worthless. But eventually, that changed. Eventually, I saw through the delusions, and found my purpose: Justice. But I knew that I would never be completely healed until I avenged Tommy’s death.” James lifted his chin. “Now, I think that I have more than paid my dues for this moment. I deserve to see you dead just like you deserve to die.”
David swallowed hard. “Maybe I do deserve to die, but Evie doesn’t.”
“She’s probably just as drug-crazed and delusional as you are, but don’t worry, I’m just going to knock her unconscious and have her hand pull the trigger on this unregistered gun here. A domestic dispute gone tragically wrong is pretty much standard these days, and I’ve planted drugs all around your apartment, so all credibility for a different story has gone out the window,” James said matter-of-factly.
Evelyn had had enough of this self-righteous little man. His words made her think about everything that she had been through in the past few years, and everything that was at stake now. She was tired of being threatened and of people trying to kill her and David, the least scary of which was the man now pointing a gun at them. She thought of Katie, and how she might never be cured, and worse, could be killed if Evelyn didn’t help her. Lastly, she thought of justice. Justice for Clem, justice for Kim, justice for Katie, and justice for all the other strays whose lives had so recently been taken from them just as Evelyn’s had been taken from her by the Vulke. She turned to David willing tears to form in the corners of her eyes.
“This is all your fault! Even in death you are going to ruin my life!” she screamed.
“Evie!” David’s face contorted with shock and pain.
Evelyn launched herself at David with as much force as she could muster. They both tumbled onto the floor in a heap and Evelyn pushed off the couch with her feet to propel them into James’s chair. Evelyn slammed into the chair with her back and there was a painful crack as one of the cheap leg supports splintered. James was caught off guard and his weight caused the chair to topple over, sending him crashing to the floor. He landed partially on top of Evelyn, and she watched in elation as the pistol cascaded out of his hands. She didn’t bother wasting precious time going after the weapon with her bound hands, but instead called out to a still stunned David as she tried to tangle her legs around James’s legs.
“David! Help! Get on top of him!”
David rolled over towards James’s prone form as he grappled with Evelyn and tried to stand. Unable to extricate himself, James’s hands went to Evelyn’s throat. He struggled to push his sweaty thumbs into the soft cartilage around her windpipe as she thrashed. David was finally able to maneuver himself into position and slammed a knee into James’s neck. James was forced to release Evelyn as David pinned him to the floor pressing all of his weight onto his knee and fighting to retain his balance atop the squirming man. James reached up for David’s throat, but his arms were too short, so he could only rake at his torso futilely as his face turned purple and his eyes bulged. James tried to roll, but Evelyn wrestled him back flat with her legs.
The violent struggle lasted only a short while before James went limp and his eyes closed. When he felt James go slack, David hesitated and let up on the other man’s neck. He then rose and backed away quickly, in case James was faking.
Evelyn heaved him off her and untangled her legs from his and then rolled away as well. She then writhed about on the floor dexterously and in a few moments had her hands cuffed in front of her instead of behind. She scooped up the gun and pointed it at the still motionless James.
“I have to check his pulse,” David cried, urgency causing his voice to crack.
Evelyn sighed and gave him an annoyed look.
“Be careful.”
David nodded and then awkwardly knelt next to James and worked his hands into position on James’s neck. After feeling around for a moment, he was visibly relieved. “He’s still alive.” David moved his hands in front of the other man’s nostrils. “And still breathing.”
“Great,” Evelyn mumbled. “Check for keys.” She held up her bound wrists impatiently.
After a few minutes of rifling around in James’s pockets, David located the keys to the handcuffs and gave them to Evelyn, who unlocked her own, then David’s.
“Put some on him.”
David complied, and then checked James over for any additional weapons. He found a smaller revolver in the back waist of his pants and a knife strapped to his ankle. Once James was handcuffed and disarmed, Evelyn handed the pistol over to David and took up the shotgun.
“What now?”
David looked nonplussed. “Now we call the police. Tell them he broke into my apartment and threatened us.”
Evelyn gave him a dubious look.
“And then he says t
hat he’s a cop and that he found drugs on the premises.”
David looked slightly put off, but continued, “So, we find the drugs, and flush them before we call.”
Evelyn sat down heavily on the couch.
“Even if we could find it all, James being a cop is going to complicate things. We don’t have time for a complicated interaction with the police right now.”
“Well, what do you suggest?”
Only one option came to Evelyn’s mind, and it was not a good one. Not good at all. She said nothing, but David saw the look in her eyes.
“No,” he said sternly, “not an option.”
“He’ll keep coming after us. The last thing that we need right now is someone else out there who wants us dead! What are we supposed to do?”
David began pacing, his face tightened. Suddenly he stopped.
“We call his family. We tell them that he came after me acting crazy and he had a gun and some drugs. There was a fight, we were afraid that he would hurt himself or us, so we had to handcuff him. We tell them that we didn’t want to call the police, because we knew he was just getting his life back together again.”
“Will they listen to you? Are you sure they won’t just call the police?” Evelyn said warily.
“I think so. Imagine it was your son who had until just recently been convinced that a werewolf was chasing him,” David said sadly.
Evelyn nodded.
“They’ll probably commit him to a psych ward this time because of the violence.”
David looked away. “Probably.”
Evelyn knew that the man was dangerous, and had to admit to herself that she had just been contemplating killing him. Still, the thought of condemning him to spend the rest of his life in an asylum seemed even crueler. She had to comfort herself by imaging other horrible things that he might have done in the name of justice.
“Do it,” she breathed.
31
They hauled James’s unconscious body into the bedroom, but were unable to lift him onto the bed, so instead connected his handcuffs to the bed frame using the spare set of cuffs. Evelyn’s back was sore from knocking into the chair, so she took some ibuprofen and lay down on the couch while David called James’s family. It was a grim conversation and Evelyn tried to block it out as she reclined there, waiting for the pain medication to kick in. She was exhausted suddenly, as the adrenaline ebbed, and her raw emotions came to the surface again. She thought about what James had said about her lying to herself about forgiving David. She very much wanted it to not be true, but she wasn’t sure if it was or not. After David hung up the phone, she didn’t want to talk about it, and she knew that James’s family was coming from the east coast, so they would have some time to kill. Evelyn closed her eyes and feigned sleep until fatigue overtook her and she did drift off into an uneasy slumber.
*
David sat down in one of the unbroken kitchen chairs and watched Evelyn sleeping on the couch. He had almost gotten her killed, again. It was beginning to be some kind of twisted theme of their relationship. He wondered if she would truly have been better off had they never even met. It was way too late for that, but would she be better off without me now? He had caused her so much pain already and it seemed to be never-ending. Their relationship at first had seemed destined to David but then it had felt doomed, and even though they were partially reconciled now, maybe they just had too much history together. He couldn’t blame Evelyn for not entirely forgiving him for what he had done to her life…kept doing to her life, he thought, as he looked at the closed bedroom door. Things between them had always been a bit complicated, but now everything with Evelyn was entirely convoluted.
David’s mind wandered to his conversation with Kim a few days ago. He thought about how easy it had been to talk to her without the weight of several painful years attached to the conversation. After the fear of her dying, the danger of her attacking them, and the awkwardness of breaking the news to her that she had become a werewolf had passed, she had been like a ray of sunshine in their gloomy lab. David smiled as he thought of her easy manner and inadvertent humor, but then Evelyn rolled over on the couch and the smile reluctantly vanished. He felt bad for thinking about Kim. Of course she had a cheerier disposition than Evelyn. She hadn’t been worried sick about Clem and hadn’t remembered anything about the pain and stress associated with being a Wolfkin. Not to mention Evelyn was risking her life every day to find a cure for the werewolf virus. It was a virus similar to other viruses that no one had ever been able to find a cure for, and if she didn’t, not only would she go insane and die, but so would a lot of other innocent people, including Kim. David was disgusted with himself for faulting Evelyn for her less than jolly temperament. Yes, he felt very bad for thinking about Kim, but he also couldn’t stop.
*
David let an hour pass before he went into the bedroom to check on James. Leaving Evelyn sleeping on the couch, David took up the pistol as he carefully entered the bedroom. James was starting to come to, and David stood silently watching him from a corner of the dim room. James did not immediately see David and began struggling vainly with the cuffs until he noticed David watching him. A moment of terror passed over James’s eyes but it was soon replaced by a sullen smugness. He painfully swallowed several times.
“You’re a monster. You know that, right?” James croaked softly.
David didn’t currently feel like he could deny it, so he said nothing.
“So what are you going to do now? Sacrifice me to your demon gods?” James started a chuckle that turned into a rasping cough. When the coughing ceased, James spat a glob of phlegm onto the carpet.
David didn’t meet his eye. “Your parents are coming.”
James’s face went slack and pale as panic bubbled up to the surface of his cool exterior. He struggled with his bonds and tried to scream, but his throat was too traumatized to emit much sound. He shook his head violently back and forth then curled up his legs, dropped his head to his chest, and began rocking himself. David couldn’t look at him. He hated to see his old friend in so much pain even if James did want to kill him. David wondered if it would still be possible to reach James. He felt like he had to try. He knelt down to the other man’s level.
“James, I’m so sorry…about everything.”
James stopped rocking, but didn’t look at David.
“You have to believe me. I can’t tell you how much it hurts me to hear what you’ve been through…knowing it was my fault.” David’s throat began to constrict and he swallowed audibly.
James remained motionless and David wasn’t sure if he was listening to him or not, but he continued.
“I know that you won’t believe me, but I would take it all back if I could.” David’s eyes suddenly blazed with a fierce regret. “I wish we’d never found that book,” he said mainly to himself.
Suddenly James looked up directly into David’s face. “You still don’t get it do you?”
David’s eyes clouded with confusion.
“You keep blaming that book, but did you ever stop to think that maybe the book had nothing to do with it?”
“What are you talking about?” David rasped, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Did you ever think that maybe it was you? That you were bad all along and that book was just an excuse to let the monster out?” James said darkly.
“That’s not…not how it was,” David stammered standing up and breaking eye contact. “It was a mistake, an accident.”
“I’m sure that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, what you’ve been telling her. But I saw it in her eyes,” he paused, “doubt.”
David stayed silent. He knew that Evelyn didn’t blame him for Tommy’s death. She was one of the reasons that David had been able to stop having nightmares about Tommy’s death on a regular basis. But that had been an accident and happened years before they had met. Since he had known Evelyn, he had killed twice more. Of course those deaths at his hands could be chalked up to s
elf-defense…or could they? Certainly killing the man with the sword in Karen’s house had been self-defense and trying to protect Evelyn, but killing Christoff had been much different. It had been much closer, bloodier, more savage, and ultimately, it had been planned. Suddenly he had doubts. He cast his mind back to the last few minutes of the challenge. Could I have beaten Christoff without killing him? He had been sure that he couldn’t have at the time, but now thinking back, the Council had been there and witnessed their final struggle. It was clear that David had bested Christoff and held his life in his teeth. Surely David could have gestured or made eye contact with one of them to signal that he wanted the challenge to be decided then. A cold emptiness started to fill David’s stomach and his expression must have given away everything he was thinking because James stared up at him, his eyes gleaming and a desolate smile upon his lips.
“Exactly.”
*
It took sixteen hours for James’s family to come down and collect James. Evelyn was surprised at how docile James was during this time, even though David tried to keep her isolated from him. She busied herself with packing up the freeze-dried dinners, checking the packs, going over some of her notes, and doubling checking some viral genome websites.
When James’s parents arrived they had his psychiatrist and a syringe of Thorazine with them. It was an awful experience. His mother had an empty look in her eyes as his father and David held James down so the doctor could administer the injection, but James didn’t protest at all like Evelyn thought that he would. He simply stared at David the entire time while David avoided looking him in the eye.
Evelyn couldn’t imagine how devastating it was for James’s mother to think that she had her son back and doing well, a police officer, even, and then suddenly to have him be taken away by mental illness again. She felt sick to her stomach and had to look away. Maybe someday, Evelyn tried to tell herself, with enough therapy, James would really be sane again. Maybe someday David and she could tell him the truth and show him that he had never been crazy to begin with. Or would that make things even worse for him?