Dr. O'Brien didn't miss a beat. "More likely it would kill him."
"Oh."
"Any other questions? Otherwise, I have patients waiting."
Her dragon spoke up. Is it just me or has he been grumpier as of late?
To be honest, I have no idea. I've been too busy with everything else.
"Did you send the results to Stonefire?” Brenna asked. “Because I know Sid and Gregor will want the finer details."
"As soon as Teagan gives her approval, I will."
She nodded, and Dr. O'Brien and the nurse left the room.
Brenna had just sent a text message to Teagan, asking for a short meeting, when Killian's voice filled the room. "So, you're plotting to kill your husband already?"
~~~
No sooner had the rolling hills and glass-covered lake faded into nothingness when Killian heard Brenna ask, "I'm not a doctor, but would giving him a higher dosage maybe bring out his dragon?"
"More likely it would kill him."
He vaguely listened to the rest of the conversation, but he couldn't push past the fact that even Brenna wished to change him back into the man he'd been.
Rationally, he shouldn't be angry about it. She probably felt obligated to help those who had taken her in and accepted her. What better way to do it than to bring back a central figure to the clan?
And yet, he'd pieced together that the old version of himself had never looked twice in Brenna's direction.
Not that it should matter. Attraction didn't mean anything beyond possibly great sex.
Still, his former life seemed lonely and empty. He had a feeling that even if he regained his memories and/or his dragon, he couldn't go back to that existence of work and nothing else.
If only he could predict what his personality would be at the end of all this.
As the doors closed and silence fell, he pushed past his thoughts and focused on his urge to tease. "So, you're plotting to kill your husband already?"
He opened his eyelids as Brenna's warm hand touched his forehead. He tried not to read too much into the concern in her gaze as she said, "You're finally awake."
"As my eyes are open and I'm talking, that's the easiest explanation."
Sighing, she continued to stroke his skin. "You're making it quite difficult to be nice to you."
"Nice is boring. I much prefer fire and fury."
She raised her brows. "Did you really just say fire and fury?"
"I thought females liked poetic expressions. It sounds better than angry and screaming."
"If screaming is what you want, I could easily oblige."
The corner of his mouth ticked up. "It would be a waste, though. Because when your cheeks flush with anger, I want nothing but to pin you to the wall and kiss you."
"Killian," she admonished.
"What? I thought honesty was another thing women liked."
"Well, I'm going to be honest as well—the doctors don't know what's wrong with you and that's a bit worrisome."
"But I suspect you have several plans in the works?"
"Maybe."
"And?" he prompted.
"I'm still waiting for approval before I share any of them."
"Considering they’re about me, I have a right to know." He paused and added, "You've been forthright with me to date, Brenna. Don't start holding back now."
Emotions warred on her face, as she struggled with what to do. He felt a bit of an arse for questioning her loyalties, but if Brenna started tiptoeing around him, he wasn't sure what he'd do.
Without any ties, it might be easier to leave and start over somewhere else. Then he wouldn't have to worry about what would happen if his memories returned.
Of course, he could also end up unconscious in the middle of the woods and die of exposure.
Brenna sighed. "I can share some of the information, at least. You've been mumbling in your sleep and we've been trying to figure out what they mean."
He frowned. "I didn't think sleep-talking could be used as factual statements."
She rolled her eyes. "I never said that. But sometimes, people mutter useful things in their sleep. And your mutterings ended up being a clue after all. Because when I opened your eyelid, your pupil looked like this."
Flashing a piece of paper toward him, he frowned at the rounded top of the pupil and the bottom, which curved to a point. "What the hell does that mean?"
"I honestly don't know. But I'm working to find out. It's possible that it's related to your inner dragon."
"I think I'd notice if I had a second someone talking inside my head," he stated.
She shook her head. "There are other ways for a dragon to make its presence known. After all, until a dragon-shifter is about six or seven years old, the dragon lurks in the mind and doesn't always come forward."
"Wait, how is that even possible? Your mind hides something from you?"
Brenna huffed. "Look, I'm not a bloody doctor or research scientist. I'm just telling you what I know."
"Let's say you're right, and it's related to this mysterious inner dragon. Does that mean anything?"
"I'm not sure. I'm going to ask some friends of mine for help." Brenna folded the piece of paper and tucked it into a trouser pocket. After quickly checking her mobile phone, she spoke again. "I have a meeting with Teagan soon. After that, I can share more details with you."
"So in the meantime, I just lie here and stare at the ceiling?" he drawled.
Tilting her head, she said, "Instead of complaining, how about making yourself useful?"
"How, exactly? The only thing I was good at since waking up without a memory is lifting heavy objects and kissing you. Right now, I'm unable to do either."
"Are you this infuriating on purpose?"
He shrugged one shoulder. "This is just what comes naturally."
"So, bastard mode is your default. Good to know." Leaning down, she never broke her gaze. "How about you stop belittling yourself and see what you're made of? Lost memory or no, you're intelligent and can figure things out. Use that to help me and your sister."
"How? I don't exactly have top-level clearance."
"Maybe not, but not everything is classified. I have an idea." She picked up a tablet from the nearby side table, tapped it a few times, and turned it toward him. "Let's see how well your memory works for non-personal things. We're trying to figure out how to tighten security against enemies, both living and machine, from ground intrusions as well as ones from the air. See if any weak points jump out at you and we can discuss it when I get back."
He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you afraid I'll use this information to escape?"
Studying him, she said, "I don't think you will. One, you'll never kiss me again and you want to, as you keep banging on about. And two, I don't think you'd escape without a fully thought-out plan. And in that case, showing you these schematics would make little difference as you'd probably just scout out the perimeter on your own."
Out of curiosity, he took the tablet and glanced at the image. He immediately saw a weak spot.
"So," Brenna prompted, "will you try and see what you come up with?"
"I have nothing better to do," he muttered.
"Good. That's Killian-speak for you're intrigued."
Meeting her eyes again, he frowned. "Since when can you interpret me so well?"
"I've been watching you for months, Killian. Some things about you are the same, even without your dragon or memories."
Killian should avoid the subject, as Brenna's answer could hurt him. But he blurted, "Which version of me is better, now or then?"
"Does it matter?" She moved until her face was close enough her breath danced across his lips. "I mated you as you are."
Her words stirred something inside him. Laying the tablet down, he raised a hand and cupped her cheek. Brenna's pupils changed to slits and back. "What's your dragon saying?"
"I'm not sure I want to tell you."
He stroked her skin. "Honesty, remember?"
For a second, he thought she wouldn't answer. Then she smiled and said, "She says that you may be recovering, but if we straddled you and did most of the work, it would be an easy solution."
Blood rushed to his cock at the image of Brenna's body over his, her breasts bouncing as he guided her hips up and down.
He growled. "I would say that's a brilliant idea, except I don't want our first time to be like that."
"So now you're a romantic?"
"Oh, it's not romantic so much as I want you under me and at my mercy." Brenna's breath hitched. "And I see you like that idea." He released her cheek and motioned toward the tablet. "I'll work on this. I need to keep on your good side, after all."
Moving back, Brenna rolled her eyes. "And here I thought you might be nice to me for longer than thirty seconds."
He grinned. "You mated me as I am, remember."
"I'm going to regret that statement, aren't I?"
"You'll just have to wait and see. A little mystery makes for an interesting marriage, don't you agree?"
"Mating. Marriage is the human term."
"You're changing the subject."
"Since our mating isn't traditional, I can't comment." She took another few steps toward the door. "I need to meet with Teagan. I'll check back after. See if you can stay awake, old man."
She dashed out the door before Killian could reply.
Early thirties wasn't old, but Killian had more important things to worry about than the ten-plus-year age difference between him and Brenna. All he needed was to woo her and coax her into bed. Then she'd see how virile he could be.
But he would have time for that later. For the moment, he glanced down at the schematics on the tablet. Just looking at them brought instant scenarios into his head, almost if he were running through what could happen in twenty different situations.
While he was probably imagining it, Killian sensed he'd done something similar many times in the past. Whether it would help him in the long run, with regard to his memory, he had no idea. All he thought about was Brenna smiling at him for helping and proving he still had worth to both her and the clan.
He blinked. He wasn't a fucking dog, out to please his master.
No, he'd do it for himself. Killian might need to start over at some point, and the better he understood his skills and limits, the easier it would be to pitch himself to a future employer.
Chapter Five
Two days later, Brenna sat across from Teagan O'Shea and waited for a response.
Glenlough's leader leaned back in her chair and sighed. "I'm not sure I like either option."
"Well, since neither Dr. Sid nor Gregor have been able to do much from afar, it'd be easier for them to help in person. Since they can't come here, because of the temporary stay for foreign dragon-shifter visitors by the Irish DDA, taking Killian to England will hopefully speed up the process."
"And if I don't agree to that, the other option is to find a way for him to kiss Lorcan's daughter?"
Brenna shrugged. "I don't know if it'll work, but there's a small chance it might."
"Let's say that it did. You'd be okay with that?"
Her dragon spoke up. I wouldn't.
Ignoring her beast, Brenna answered, "I promised to help bring Killian back and that's what I'm doing."
Teagan raised an eyebrow. "I think you're full of crap, but I'm not going to waste time arguing. You're a grown female. Besides, my more important question is—are you willing to give up your place as the temporary head Protector on Glenlough? You may be English by birth, but you more than proved yourself during the clan's recent troubles and I think of you as part of my clan now."
At one time, she'd wanted acceptance more than anything. However, to be a true Protector meant putting duty above most personal desires.
Pushing past the emotion in her throat, Brenna replied, "I spent two days thinking on it. I'm not giving up my dreams forever, but I'm twenty-one years old and can afford to step back for now and work my way into a similar position in the future."
Teagan leaned forward. "Whilst it’s noble to stick to your vow, I'm not about to make you give up your career to see it through. I love my brother, but as he is right now, I'm not sure he deserves your dedication."
She sat taller in the chair. "He is a duty like any other, which means I'll see it through to the end."
Teagan opened her mouth, but quickly shut it. Picking up a piece of paper, she laid it in front of Brenna. "Sign this and I'll submit it via fax to the DDA. You should have clearance to visit Stonefire in a day or two."
Staring down at the paper, Brenna hesitated. She put on a brave face and words for Teagan, but the thought of leaving Glenlough made her heart heavy. As long as she remained mated to Killian, she could return. However, if he escaped and filed for a separation, it could be months or years before she could come back, depending on the Irish DDA's whim.
Her dragon grunted. I don't think Killian will escape. He flirts and stares at us most of the time.
Lust is not loyalty. I wish you'd remember that.
Her beast huffed. Regardless, you're hiding a deeper reluctance—to see our parents again.
Not wanting her dragon to be right, Brenna picked up a pen off Teagan's desk and signed her name. "There. I'll start making preparations and tell Killian the news. When do you plan on saying your farewells?"
Sadness filled Teagan's eyes. "I'm not sure he'd care one way or the other."
Reaching out a hand, she took Teagan's and squeezed. "He often stares at the photo album you provided and lingers on pictures of you, your mother, and grandmother more than the others. He may not know why, but somewhere deep inside, I think he recognizes you were important to him."
"Maybe. But don't worry, Aaron will make me say goodbye to my brother." Teagan's pupils flashed. "That gives me an idea. Aaron is a brilliant cook and we can have a farewell family dinner. That way, even if things turn awkward, everyone can fill their mouths with food and keep busy. Can you convince Killian to come over to our cottage later?"
"It won't be easy, but I'll find a way."
"Good." Teagan picked up the signed document. "I'll send this straight away. You'd best go since you'll need to brief Lyall O'Dwyer on Protector-related items so he can assume your position, and then tell Killian the news."
Lyall was one of the most experienced and loyal Protectors on Glenlough.
Standing, she nodded. "Thanks, Teagan, for understanding my request."
Teagan smiled. "Don't feel too much gratitude toward me. After all, sending him to Stonefire is highly preferable to him kissing Lorcan's daughter and causing a possible war."
Her dragon growled. And it means he won't kiss anyone else.
Seeing as he hasn't kissed us since the mating ceremony, you seem optimistic he wants to do it at all. After our news, he might want nothing to do with us.
And whose fault is it that he hasn't kissed us again? You've been avoiding him on purpose, only seeing him when others are around.
Brenna finally voiced her concerns to her beast, or the dragon might never be quiet. Growing attached to him is dangerous. I'll never fulfill my duty that way, as I won't want to help him.
He's lost amongst a sea of people he doesn't remember. Friendship would do more good than you know.
Brenna had deduced the same, but didn't want to risk friendship turning into anything more. Killian's future was unpredictable and she needed to guard her heart and feelings. Especially given her history of becoming obsessed with a male and the ensuing dereliction of her duties, like with Cedric in the army.
Focusing back on Teagan, Brenna waved goodbye. "We'll be over around seven. And tell Aaron not to make fish. I can't stand it."
"Good thing you're telling me and not him, otherwise he'd make it on purpose to spite you. I swear he lives to irritate those he cares about."
At the love shining in Teagan's eyes as she spoke of her mate, a small tinge of jealousy flared. Maybe someday she'd have what A
aron and Teagan had—a love between partners, who each made the other better.
Not wanting to waste time thinking of something that would happen far in the future, Brenna murmured her parting and exited the room. She'd handle the Protectors first. That way, Killian would have less time to come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn't go to dinner.
Because even if she had to tie him up and toss him in a wheelbarrow to get him to Teagan's cottage, she'd do it. Teagan and her family deserved the chance to say goodbye.
Her dragon spoke up. Funny you think that now. You didn't say goodbye to Mum and Dad three years ago.
Only because Mum would've locked us up and sent us to relatives in Italy to keep us from joining the army.
I suppose none of that matters now. However, signing the document means you're going to have to face them again.
I'll worry about that when the time comes.
~~~
Killian eyed Teagan O'Shea's cottage in the distance with irritation. "There is no reason for them to wish me farewell. I don't remember any of them."
Brenna matched his strides toward the cottage. "That's not the point. This is for them, not us. And if you don't attend, you don't leave, end of story."
He grunted. "Maybe I don't want to leave."
She looked at him askance. "You were all but giddy earlier, when I told you we were going to England."
The news of him going somewhere new, even for a short while, would give him more time to figure things out. As much as he understood his supposed family wanting to help him, everyone walking on eggshells and pretending to be perfectly fine was driving him crazy. The grandmother was the only one who wasn't shy about voicing an opinion, but even she would often remind him of how he had been.
But he kept his excitement at bay and feigned boredom. "I don't become giddy. You mistook my happiness at finally seeing my wife again as me being excited for this bloody trip."
Brenna had spent most of the last few days away, doing things with the Protectors. He hated how much his mood depended on whether the woman was near him or not.
Craved by the Dragon (Stonefire British Dragons Book 11) Page 5