Killian wasn't meant to be hers.
Georgiana Todd was a much better option for him. Not only could the female possibly make Killian whole again, a mate-claim frenzy would also force Brenna to keep her distance from the male. It was the best solution for all.
And yet, the idea didn’t sit well in her stomach.
No. She wouldn’t let a feeling derail her life once more. Killian would kiss Georgiana, and Brenna would move on, end of story.
~~~
The door had barely closed behind Brenna when Teagan's voice garnered his attention. "You're a bastard, Killian." He met her gaze and she continued. "That female has fancied you for months, and here you are about to kiss your true mate, and you give her false hope. I should knock you out cold right now for how you're treating her."
He ignored the sting of Teagan's words. "You know nothing of my motives."
Teagan raised her brows. "Then enlighten me."
Running his fingers through his hair, he growled. "Do you think I want to kiss some nameless woman and possibly enter this frenzy mess, and end up impregnating a stranger? Believe me, given the choice, that is the last thing I want."
"And what do you want?"
"Does it matter? Things have already been set in motion, and if we change them, it will only make things worse."
She waved toward the door Brenna had exited. "I'm sure what you want matters to her. You can act the bastard all you like, but you soften when Brenna is nearby."
"So what? You've been going on about how I need my memories and my dragon. I finally agree to your plans and now I'm the bastard? Ever since I woke up like this, you've put me on this path. If anyone is at fault for hurting Brenna, it's you, Teagan."
As he stared into green eyes similar to his own, Killian wondered if Teagan would be truthful with him or simply dismiss him and claim she had leader duties to attend.
Not everything was her fault, after all. But he was too upset to be rational.
When she spoke, her voice was soft. "You're right. I just miss my brother, and I might have lost sight of everything else with the goal of getting him back."
He blinked. "Well, I wasn't expecting that."
"It's true. While Aaron is now one of the pillars of my life, you should be one, too. And yet, you're not truly here and it kills me."
At the sadness in her voice, Killian's anger faded. "I'm not this way by choice."
She nodded. "I know." Teagan cleared her throat. "So, tell me, what do you want? Don't tell me what I want to hear. Tell me the truth."
He debated his next words before saying, "I think I want to try and get my memories back. However, if kissing the Todd woman doesn't work, I'll give the Stonefire doctors two weeks to help. After that, you allow me to start a new life, the best I can, which means stop meddling in my life or placing extra restrictions on what I do or say."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "So far, that seems reasonable. Anything else?"
"I think it's best if Brenna keeps her distance from me as much as possible. When she's near, I want her. And that will only lead to hurting her."
Teagan shook her head. "That will be harder to do, Killian. Brenna is the reason you can travel to the UK at all. If she doesn't go, the DDA could be finicky and say you should stay in Ireland; they would love the excuse to punish my clan after recent events. Or, if they catch you alone, you could even end up in prison."
An hour ago, he probably would've cursed and said he'd think of his own idea. However, Teagan was being honest and trying to help him. He owed her more than that. "If I have to be near her, then there's only one thing I can do."
"Which is?"
"I need to learn to control my emotions so Brenna won't know how she affects me. Can you teach me a few tricks?"
The woman studied him a second before saying, "While I'm happy you're asking for help, I'm uneasy about doing this to Brenna."
He resisted a growl. "Do you have any other suggestions?"
Aaron joined them and said, "How about just telling her the truth? Deceit usually backfires in a spectacular way. Brenna is an adult. Lay out rules and try to follow them."
Teagan rolled her eyes. "Because your rules worked so well in the beginning, what with 'this is sex for one night only' rubbish."
Aaron frowned. "If I recall, Killian's phone call is what interrupted the night. Who knows what would've happened if he hadn't done so. I might've followed our rule."
Teagan narrowed her eyes. "Right, I'm sure that's how it would've worked out." She looked at Killian again. "It couldn't hurt to give you a little training. After all, it'll be easy to keep your distance from Brenna until you leave, and Gran can give you at least one coaching session before you depart in the morning. If my mother is successful with negotiating with Lorcan, then you may only have a few hours in each other’s company. I'm sure both of you can resist each other for a short while."
The thought of kissing anyone but Brenna didn't sit well with him, but he pushed aside the feeling. "And if kissing that Northcastle woman doesn't work?"
Teagan shrugged a shoulder. "Then I'm afraid you'll have to go to Stonefire and discuss what happens there with Brenna."
"So my choices are either kiss a stranger and possibly end up with a child at the end of it, or spend weeks living with the woman I'm supposed to keep my distance from," Killian bit out.
"I'm afraid so," Teagan stated. "But if the kiss with Georgiana Todd doesn't work, then who knows what will happen. Maybe Brenna can be yours after all."
"I never said I wanted her forever," Killian grunted out.
Aaron took a few steps closer to Killian. "Don't you fucking hurt my cousin. Because if you do and you come back here, then I'm going to make your life hell."
Teagan stepped between them. "Just stop it, you two. If I ever have children, I hope they're girls. The last thing I need is more testosterone in my life."
Killian retreated to the far side of the room and paced. "So what happens now?"
Teagan leaned against Aaron's side. "You wait here until our mother contacts us. Then we can start making more concrete plans."
Unable to stand still, Killian paced the room. He couldn't wait for the day when he didn't need to rely on so many people just to live his life.
The pacing gave him time to remember his kiss with Brenna. What he wouldn't give to have that every day.
No. She deserved better than a man who could fall unconscious at any moment, and who might not ever wake up. The best thing for everyone was for Killian to fulfill Teagan's requirements and work on controlling his emotions. He doubted he'd ever be able to fully hide his longing for Brenna's touch, but he was going to do the best he could.
~~~
Caitlin O'Shea sat inside one of the private conference rooms located in the Protectors central command building and plucked at her trouser leg.
Waiting to see if Lorcan would answer her message and contact her via video conference wasn't easy. She could handle the rejection if it weren't for Killian. She'd do almost anything to ensure her son had a chance at being happy once again.
Shifting in her seat, she resisted looking at the clock again. It'd been less than half an hour since she'd called Northcastle's main contact number. The female on the other end had ensured she'd pass along the strange message.
Her dragon spoke up. If we had my way, we would've flown and risked the DDA.
You're not being helpful.
Caitlin went back to plucking the material of her trousers and started humming a tune.
Her mother had offered to sit in, but she'd declined. After all, this was her decision and her life. She wasn't about to let anyone else speak for her.
The video conference app chimed, displaying Northcastle's name. For a second, she froze. Accepting the call possibly meant uprooting her life and moving to a clan full of strangers.
Then she remembered Killian's cry of pain and his unconsciousness, and it fortified her resolve. Her son had spent years protecting her
. She needed to do this for him.
Clicking the Receive button, she instantly recognized the face that appeared as Lorcan Todd's.
She'd only seen him a few times in recent years, but his short, light gray hair and mismatched eyes—one brown and one blue—were the same. As was his strong jaw and broad shoulders.
In other words, he was as handsome as she'd remembered.
Her dragon spoke up. I still don't understand why you've spurned him for so many years.
Not now, dragon.
Lorcan raised his silver eyebrows. "I must say I was surprised to hear you wanted to talk to me, what with you ignoring my previous attempts to contact you."
Drawing on years of raising two strong-willed children, Caitlin sat tall and forced her voice to be strong. "I'm talking to you now."
"That you are. Care to tell me about what? If there's one thing I know about your family, a call from you lot never comes without a request."
She decided to get straight to the point before she lost her nerve. "You once offered a treaty between our clans, with a few conditions. I want to know if that offer still stands."
"So Teagan is having her mother speak for her now?"
"Don't disrespect my daughter. I'm sure you wouldn't stand it for yours."
He studied her a second and Caitlin wondered if she'd just lost her only chance to help her son. Unlike her mother and daughter, she had no experience with political negotiations. If that was what Lorcan was looking for, she might be in over her head.
Lorcan's deep voice filled her ears. "I always sensed there was steel behind the gentleness. I'm glad to see that I was right."
Before she could stop herself, she blurted, "Only when it comes to my children and family."
"And that, Caitlin, is not a negative. We should always look out for our children."
Her stomach churned. Maybe Lorcan wouldn't agree to her plan after all.
He continued, "If you were referring to my previous condition, about a treaty in exchange for a mating, I'm open to the idea. But I won't force it. I've learned my lesson on those grounds."
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Maybe someday I'll tell you, but not now. What is it you want, Caitlin? Just tell me straight."
Lorcan's eyes were gentle, as if coaxing her to tell him her secrets. She had a feeling the trait came in handy when leading his clan. "What I'm about to tell you must remain a secret. If I get wind that you've shared it, then everything I'm about to propose will be called off." He nodded and she continued. "Killian has lost his memory and his dragon. Your daughter may be the key to bringing him back."
He frowned. "What are you talking about?"
Taking a deep breath, she answered, "Killian was kidnapped for a day and drugged. He came back as I described, with no memory and no inner beast."
"I'm sorry for that, Caitlin, I am. But how does my daughter fit into it all?"
"Well, we know of one dragon-shifter who lost her dragon regained it by kissing her true mate. I don't know if Georgiana ever sensed it or not, but she and Killian are true mates. Or, at least they were. I'm not sure how things stand now, with my son changed."
"And you want Killian to kiss my daughter."
"Yes."
He paused and finally spoke again. "That's why Killian disappeared several years ago, when I came to visit your clan, with my daughter in tow. He was keeping his distance and that was why Teagan had to reveal herself."
She bobbed her head. "He didn't want to cause any trouble, so we kept Killian hidden away."
"You should've just told me the truth."
"Because I'm sure that would've worked out so well," she said dryly.
The corner of Lorcan's mouth ticked up. "My, my, there is more to you than a pretty face, Caitlin O'Shea."
She fought a blush at Lorcan's words and the appreciation in his eyes. "We were talking about my son and your daughter."
His face instantly returned to a neutral expression. "She won't want the frenzy, that I can tell you."
"Killian doesn't, either. But it's happened before, with two dragon-shifters kissing their true mate and being held apart long enough to allow it to fade."
Granted, both parties would be in physical pain for weeks, possibly even months, and would probably have to drug their dragons into silence at first.
She stilled. What am I doing? How could she even ask Lorcan to put his daughter through such pain.
She opened her mouth to apologize, but Lorcan beat her to it. "And in exchange for agreeing to this, you want to offer yourself up as my mate?"
She nodded, and Lorcan fell silent.
If she were a stronger person, she would dismiss the idea and end the call. But with each second that ticked by, she thought maybe her sacrifice would help Killian after all.
It was a big ask, her request. But she didn't have any other choice.
Lorcan finally spoke again. "I need to talk with my daughter. This is her decision."
"Of course."
"Then stand by for my call. I'm going to talk with her right now and give you an answer."
The screen turned dark and Caitlin slumped in her chair. She was no closer to securing Killian's future than before. On top of that, she had to talk with Lorcan again. The next conversation might be even more difficult if his daughter said no.
Her dragon spoke up. He's not that bad. And that's not true, about Killian's future. Lorcan could've said no straight away.
Maybe. I still feel awful for what his daughter could endure, if the true mate link still exists.
It may not, and then our number of solutions dwindle.
Caitlin's phone beeped, and she barely glanced at her mother's message. She wasn't about to share anything until she had an answer.
Not wanting to fret over a decision beyond her control, she needed a distraction.
She pulled up information about the area surrounding Belfast, where Northcastle was located. While there was a huge lake nearby—Lough Neagh—that she'd always wanted to swim in, being so close to Belfast and its roughly half a million humans living in or near it caused any number of dangerous situations to run through her head. After all, her mate had died at the hands of humans.
And not only that, there was a dragon hunter base not far from Clan Northcastle.
Maybe moving there would be a worse idea than she'd originally thought.
Her dragon spoke up. Lorcan keeps his clan safe. Things will be different, but maybe we need a change of scenery.
What are you talking about?
Well, our children are grown and soon both will hopefully lead full and happy lives. Mother is busy helping Teagan, and our mate passed away a long time ago. Living in a new place may help us find a new purpose. After all, fifty-five is young enough still to do many things.
What about the children we watch? Their parents rely on the daycare center.
Your assistants are more than capable of taking over.
You just want to stretch your wings and travel.
Maybe.
The video conference app rang again. She clicked Receive in the next beat, revealing Lorcan's unreadable face.
"Well?" Caitlin asked. "Please don't keep me waiting."
He grunted. "As long as Killian doesn't expect a frenzy and will be kept away until it fades, Georgiana has agreed to help. I'm assuming you want this done as soon as possible?" She bobbed her head. "I checked into it and know he's mated to an English dragon-shifter and can freely travel. I'll put in the request tonight with the DDA about our mating. Someone owes me a favor, so the pair of you can come the day after tomorrow."
Her heart skipped a beat. "So soon?"
Lorcan raised his brows. "Have you changed your mind?"
Even though he was giving her a choice, she didn't really have one. "No."
"Then the sooner the better." His voice softened. "And don't worry, you'll have time to acclimate. While you do that, you can help hash out the details of the treaty."
"But
Teagan is the negotiator, not me."
"She will have the final approval. However, you will help draft the agreement."
She blinked. "You want me to help you? I have no experience in that kind of thing."
He smiled warmly. "Knowing your clan is an asset, Caitlin. You'll do fine. Unless there's anything else, I have much to do to set this all in motion."
She shook her head. "No, that's all for now."
"Good. Then I'll send the final details to Teagan. I look forward to talking with you under more relaxed circumstances, Caity. Good night."
The screen went blank and Caitlin tried her best to tame her thumping heart. Lorcan via video conference was all business with only a rare glimpse of the male who'd sent her flowers and notes. She only hoped the softer side of him came out more with time. Otherwise, she was in for yet another battle of wills in her life.
And she wasn't sure if she had the strength to handle another alpha personality, especially one she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.
~~~
Brenna finished her hundredth crunch and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom on Glenlough. A few weeks ago, she'd wanted nothing more than for Killian to kiss her. And here she was, running away from him and trying to think of ways to keep her distance.
Her dragon grunted. Part of me thinks it's because you don't want to go to Northcastle and risk seeing Cedric.
Cedric Templeton was the male who'd manipulated Brenna during her army days. Not true. I couldn't care less about him. Watching Killian kiss another female, however, is too much.
Then you finally admit you want him, too?
She'd been waging this battle with her dragon for days, trying to deny the truth, but no longer. Yes. But it doesn't mean I won't do what I've been doing, in that I have to protect my heart and my future.
Even if Killian kisses the female, I can't see him agreeing to the frenzy.
If the old version of him returns, he might. Remember, he was nobler than we'd ever be and took duty to the extreme.
Craved by the Dragon (Stonefire British Dragons Book 11) Page 7