"Goodnight…" She whispered her glance capturing his.
"Goodnight…" he whispered and walked up the stairs to his bedroom, closing the door.
Were they merely pretty words, or was he right, there was something growing between them?
Gabby thought about his words, if he really meant them, then their life together might be more than she ever hoped. Only time would tell.
She had to get to know her husband. She wanted him to open up to her, as she had with him, tell her everything.
Because the urge to follow him up those stairs was stronger than she imagined, and she didn't quite understand that urge.
Chapter Ten
The next morning at the breakfast table Jason stared at his son and daughter-in-law, pushing his thin lips out, his brows down in thought before he spoke. There was a strange smugness in his expression.
Neither Ben nor Gabby said a word.
Jimmy was sitting beside Gabby on one side, Ben on the other.
"So, do you say grace?" Gabby asked looking at the senior Mr. Wyler.
Jason cleared his throat, while Ben smiled broadly. Jason didn't answer.
"Not usually, I mean, Vera used to, but.." Ben answered for his father. "It sounds like a good idea…"
"Very well…then I'll offer grace every morning, if that's alright." Gabby took Jimmy's hand, and then Ben's and nodded to Jason.
Jason sent her a stoic smile and nodded.
As they all bowed their heads, she prayed over the food and smiled when Jimmy added loudly, "Amen."
Jason cleared his throat. "That was very nice."
Helena heard them and came to the table.
"Helena won't you join us?" Gabby offered. "We'd all love to have you sit and eat with us."
"Oh but…I usually eat in the kitchen." Helena started to protest.
Helena's eyes flew to Jason, waiting for his approval. Jason nodded. "Of course, you're part of this family, too. Please, join us."
"Si…" Helena smiled. "Thank you…"
Helena passed the scrambled eggs to Jason. He took them and studied the women for a moment. Gabby smiled at the silent interplay on their faces.
"Ben what are you plans for the day?" Jason asked.
"Well its branding season. I'll be out in the north pasture with the boys." Ben smiled. "Unless you've got other plans for me."
"Not at all. Very well. I'm glad to hear it." Jason nodded. "Oh…by the way, whenever the two of you are ready for a honeymoon, just let me know."
Ben glanced at his father, surprised he would change the subject so quickly.
"We'll do that. But today, I'd like to take Jimmy out with me. He's going to need to learn all about ranching. We've got a few new born's he might enjoy seeing, too." Ben informed Gabby.
"I can come with you?" Jimmy's eyes widened.
"Sure, if it's alright with your mother."
Gabby considered it for a moment. Jimmy looked up at her with pleading eyes.
Seeing her hesitation, he cleared his throat. "You don't have to worry, I'll look after him."
"As will I." Jason nodded.
Gabby swallowed, "Alright…if you are sure."
Ben winked at Jimmy.
"I'm riding out there myself." Jason remarked. "Got a couple of new branding irons that Jim Baker made for me."
"Haven't seen Jim in a while." Ben said digging into the scrambled eggs.
"They are expecting their first baby next month." Jason added.
"Baby? Has it been that long since they married?" Ben asked.
"Two years, he's doing right well with his place too."
"I'll have to take Gabby over to meet his wife. She was at the wedding, but that day was full of new people and there wasn't time to get to know any of them. Betty's is about the same age. I'm sure you'll have a lot in common."
"That would be a good idea." Jason glanced at them both.
"Who made the gravy this morning?" Ben glanced at Jimmy who was beaming with pride as he poured the gravy over his biscuit.
"Your wife…" Helena smiled brightly.
"It's very good." Ben acknowledged. "They call it speckled gravy don't they?"
"Yes, because of the black pepper." Helena laughed.
"Can't go wrong with bacon grease." Gabby asserted.
"Will Mama be out there with us?" Jimmy asked.
"No…branding is not a woman's sport." Jason replied.
Gabby nodded, "That's right; I'll be here, helping Helena with chores around the place. When I'm needed. I've helped birth a cow, and milked cows before. I'm no stranger to ranch work. I will be glad to help. And of course feeding chickens and keeping the garden up. Helena has a beautiful garden."
"What a nice thing to say. Thank you…" Helena protested. "Some years it doesn't turn out as well, depends on how much rain we get. But you do not have to help me with the chores."
She looked around the table and finally smiled at Helena, "I think we should be a real family…and share the responsibilities. I'm not one for sitting around the house and doing nothing." Gabby assured her. "I wasn't raised that way. When my father was alive, I helped right along side of him."
Helena started to object but Jason frowned at Helena. "That's a wonderful thing to say Gabby. And I’m glad to see you are going to be an active young woman in this family."
Gabby smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way. And as Jimmy gets older he can do chores."
"Oh, well, I'm afraid he doesn't have to get older for that. He can feed the chickens and gather eggs. Can't you, son?" Ben asked.
"Sure…I guess so."
"Only that's not as exciting as branding, is it?" Ben asked.
"No, but I can do stuff too…"
"You certainly can." Jason chuckled. "So hurry up with your breakfast so we can get started."
~*~
After breakfast, Ben gathered up his supplies and saddled his horse, but he came inside before he left. He brought a pair of chaps for Jimmy.
"I think you're gonna need these, partner…" Ben smiled and ruffled his hair as he handed Jimmy the chaps.
"What are those?" Jimmy looked at them.
"They're called chaps, and they keep from tearing your pants up in the brush. Every cowboy needs them."
"Don't I have to wear pants?"
"You wear the chaps over your pants. It's so you don't tear your pants everyday. Come here, let me show you." He pulled up a kitchen chair and Jimmy stood just in front of him, as he showed him how to put them on. After he put them on, Jimmy turned around and Ben smiled. "Almost a perfect fit, but you'll grow into them before long. Wear them, you'll be on a horse most of the day and you'll need them."
"All I need now is guns like you have, Pa." Jimmy laughed.
Ben shook his head. "Before you wear a gun, you have to have an education in how to use and take care of one. I think it's too soon for guns yet. Let's take it slow and easy, there are lots of things you've got to learn before you are a full-fledged cowboy. Guns can be very dangerous."
Gabby saw him in the chaps and laughed. "Where did you get those, they are so little."
"Cal, one of the top hands has a boy, Ford, you've met him, he outgrew them, and so he offered them to me to give to Jimmy."
"That was nice of him, thank him for us."
"I look like a real cowboy, don't I Mama."
"Yes, you do."
"Don't be hanging the title on yourself yet, I've got a lot to teach you." Ben nodded.
"These are mine, for keeps." Jimmy shouted.
"For keeps, or until you outgrow them and we have to get a bigger pair." Ben laughed.
"Thanks, Pa." Jimmy hugged him.
Gabby turned beet red. Already Jimmy was calling him Pa. It made her feel a bit awkward. She hoped they weren't being too presumptuous about their positions here. Yet, oddly she felt like part of this family, and she liked it.
Gabby grabbed her son to her and kissed him on the cheek. "You be careful out there, and you listen to your…P
a." She glanced up in time to see Ben smile at her.
"I will Mama. I promise."
"Jimmy, the first thing a cowboy needs to learn is about horses, and today, I've got you a pony to ride. Pedro gentled him himself." Ben announced. "He'll be a good ride for you."
"A pony, for me?" Jimmy hollered. Jimmy didn't think he just ran to wrap his arms around Ben's legs. Ben nearly fell to the floor as Jimmy grabbed him.
But the look on Ben's face was a pride that Gabby felt inside at the same time.
"He's right outside if you want to go pet him and introduce yourself. He'll be needing a name too…" Ben chuckled. "So think of a good one. Names are important you know?"
Jimmy was out the door before he finished telling him.
"You're being awfully good to him…" Gabby shook her head in total surprise.
"He's family Gabby, just like you!" Ben assured her.
"Thank you…" she barely managed to get it out as she was choked with tears.
Ben came up to her. "No thanks needed. Look, me and Jimmy are going to be out most of the day…so…if you don't mind…there's one tradition I'd like to start in this family."
"Oh, what's that?" Gabby asked about to turn away to start cleaning the dishes.
"It's kind of a custom for a man to kiss his wife goodbye everyday. And we don't want to break any customs, do we?"
"No…I guess not." She gasped breathlessly.
She swallowed hard. Her breathing became erratic. Helena was just in the next room. She'd probably heard him. Her heart was pounding, she couldn't speak. She opened her mouth to, but nothing came out.
That's when Ben lowered his head the short distance it took to take her lips in a torrid kiss.
It took all of Gabby's defenses by surprise, and sensations rocked her body as Ben's lips swept her into another world. She didn't understand it; Frank's kisses weren't like that. Her body didn't react to his kisses. What was the difference, she wondered.
Gabby tried to compose her emotions, but she wasn't used to feeling like this. Her heart swelled like a high tide on water. Without thinking, her arms went around his neck and she pulled him against her.
He groaned, "I dreamt about that all night…" He whispered. "See ya darlin'…"
And he was gone.
Had he just called her 'darlin'?
Gabby stood there, her knees shaking, her cheeks flushed, and her heart was pounding like horse hoofs. Good grief, she had to get a hold of herself, it was just a goodbye kiss. Deep down she realized it had a huge impact on her. He didn't have to kiss her, and certainly not with such enthusiasm. He made her swoon, her knees shake, and a very womanly feeling passed through her. She wasn't used to those feelings. She wasn't used to being a part of a family in a long time either.
She grabbed her chest, as it rose and fell quickly.
Helena came in smiling. "Well, you two are certainly off to a good start."
Gabby turned to look at her. "I don't know what to say, he always surprises me. Helena, do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Of course not."
"When Frank used to kiss me I'd pucker up, and I certainly didn't get all tingly. However, with Ben it's so different. I have all these reactions. Is that normal?"
"Well there's one thing you can say, they are good surprises, no?"
"Yes, they are—" She smiled back. "It's just so strange."
"What…"
"This feeling I get when he kisses me. Like all my insides are melting."
"Oh that." Helena smiled. "You didn't sleep with him last night, did you?" Helena asked a little disappointed Gabby could tell.
"No…" Gabby's face flushed once more. It was embarrassing to talk about. "Helena I realize it is a natural thing, but this marriage was arranged. We need time to sort it all out. Our feelings. It's too soon yet. We have to get familiar with each other…trust each other."
"But you do have feelings for him, don't you?" Helena asked.
"That's kind of what scares me. I mean, what if I sleep with him, I go crazy, and he doesn't know what to do with me? With Frank, our relationship was better when he courted me. After we married that all changed. But with Ben, it's the opposite. These feelings swell up inside of me and I just don't know what to do. I actually melt when he kisses me…"
"A woman can tell these things. Just as you have guessed how I care about Jason. I know you care for Ben, and that you are confused by this caring. Afraid even." Helena admitted, firming her lips and digging out some beans from a barrel to cook for supper.
"Afraid he might not have the same feelings. I think he feels sorry for me. I don't want that."
"Believe me; Ben wouldn't bother with kissing you like he does if he didn't have some feelings of his own."
"Doesn't Jason suspect, after all this time?"
Helena shook her head. "No not exactly, despite how it might look, he's still mourning his wife's death. I am aware of that. But maybe someday—"
"How can you tell that? He doesn't look depressed or upset."
"True. But, he puts his work before anything. And he knows I care for him, still he hasn't finished grieving for her. It takes him longer, because he does not allow the grieving. As far as I know, he's never cried over her, not even that first day or at the funeral. That's not natural. When he sets her aside, then he and I can see what happens between us. But not yet. It wouldn't be proper. And he knows it. I know it too. Besides, he doesn't understand how much I love him, yet."
"How long ago did they die?"
"Six months ago…It was so sudden. Jason didn't know how to deal with it, so he threw himself into this ranch. I'm not sure he's faced it yet. He blames Ben for not doing the same. Ben reacted differently, actually the way a person should act when a loved one dies, he grieved. But you see, Ben is ready to go on with life. He just needed a nudge in the right direction. It's Jason that needs to grieve. Grieving is healthy."
"Surely nature will take its course." Gabby stared at her. "When Jason wrote me, he told me of my father dying and that there wasn't time to write and tell me because too many were sick during that time. I felt so alone the day I read the letter. Sick. Because my father and I hadn't told each other we were sorry. But I'm sure, deep down, he knew I loved him. And there were many times I wanted to write and tell him how right he had been. I just never did. Sometimes death means facing the truths of life and learning how to go on, alone."
"Si, I loved Vera, Jason's wife. She was so good to me, even though I fell in love with her husband; I loved her enough to never let on, while she was alive. It was hard trying to balance the two of them in my heart."
"That must have been very hard?" Gabby turned her head in consideration.
"Yeah, like you and Ben getting together?" Helena smiled.
Gabby liked Helena, she felt she could open up and talk to her. "I feel…I don't know how to explain it. Like giddy inside when he kisses me. I'm not used to that. Jimmy's father didn't do that to me. No man has. Is that unusual? Why Ben? Why someone who may never love me?"
Helena laughed. "Ben's half in love with you already; he just doesn't realize it yet. Be patient, it will come. Men have a lot to learn when it comes to women. It takes them a while to see things clearly." Then looking at her she asked. "You do want it to come, don't you?"
Gabby looked at her and a slow smile spread across her face. "I think I do…"
"It is fun to watch the two of you. You are both so in love and not even aware of it yet. But your eyes light up when he's around, and your cheeks blush when he looks at you."
"It's too soon to say something like that." Gabby protested.
"Is it?" Helena's smile asked knowingly. "There was a time when men and women didn't have the luxury of taking years to fall in love with each other. They just had to latch on and hope it all worked out. Jason and his wife were like that. I was just a young woman myself when I came here. And Jason and Vera were great companions, but until she had Ben, it was sort of on and off again thing. He was so bu
sy making this ranch an empire, he forgot many times to think of her, first. That happens with men sometimes. It's not that they love you less, it's that they are busy being the best provider. Being a man. When she had his son though, he latched onto her and never let go…until six months ago. But love is different for everyone. I fell in love with the strong man who took charge of everything and everyone. I loved him, even when he was married to Vera. She didn't know. I hid it then. I would never have hurt her. She is the one that brought me here…from Mexico. She treated me so well, I loved her. Because it was wrong of me to lust after her husband, then. Now, there is no reason to hide it. I'm merely waiting until he sees it. If Ben weren't interested in you, he'd have let you leave that day in the wagon. And from what I've seen, the feelings just keep growing between the two of you. Like a wildfire. It's as if you two were meant to be together. And it's the one thing Jason did right by Ben."
"I've never been in love, Helena. It frightens me a little. And I'm not sure I trust any man." Gabby admitted.
"Why?" Helena frowned. "What causes your mistrust?"
"My father changed so drastically as I grew up. I didn't understand what he was talking about most of the time. I rebelled against him with Frank. My father didn't want or accept the fact that I was growing up. You see up until Frank took an interest in me, my father and I were very close. I followed him everywhere, worked beside him; I was there all the time. Then Frank started taking an interest in me and my father resented that. He kept saying Frank was too old. We, my father and I, fought all the time. But things changed too quickly. I didn't understand my father any longer. I trusted Frank to be a good husband. He had courted me some. But unfortunately, he couldn't support us. And in the end, he didn't want to. I knew he wasn't true to me; he didn't make a secret of it. He found me cold and unfeeling, and that was true. I always felt there had to be something wrong, because when we came together, I felt nothing. I couldn't wait until he got off of me."
"Frank is Jimmy's father?"
"Yes. I've only had relations with Frank, no other…"
"And how were those 'relations'."
Gabby blushed, but not for the reason Helena thought. "I laid down for him, and he took me. That's the only thing my father told me about growing up. 'When the time comes child', he said, 'just lie down and take it.' So that's what I did. Frank didn't bother with kisses or making me feel like doing anything. He stopped complimenting me almost the day we got married. He just got to the point of things. He was satisfied with that for a while, but only a while. I got pregnant right away. And then…we had no more relations."
Love As Big As Texas Page 11