A Moment of Weakness: Book 2 in the Forever Faithful trilogy

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A Moment of Weakness: Book 2 in the Forever Faithful trilogy Page 8

by Kingsbury, Karen


  “When was that?”

  Tanner’s gaze shifted to the distant mountains and the shimmering white peak of Mt. Hood. “I was in high school. A bunch of us went to a Young Life gathering, and for the first time I realized God wasn’t a program or a club or a part of my heritage. He was a living God, waiting for me to turn my heart to him.”

  “Exactly.” Jade leaned forward, remembering the meeting they’d just had with one of the associate pastors in the church prayer room. “That’s how I felt in there. Like God was waiting for me to make a decision for him.”

  Tanner nodded. “Back then our family attended Williamsburg Community Church. Same as your folks, I think.”

  Jade nodded, and for a moment she started to hear her father’s bitter words. You’re nothing but the daughter of a –

  She shut them out and focused her attention on Tanner instead.

  “Anyway, I’d never thought about having a personal relationship with God. That night I opened my heart and asked Jesus inside. I studied the Bible daily over the next few weeks, and at the end of the month I got baptized.”

  Jade sighed. “Yeah, that’s another thing. I think I want to do that, too, but what is it?”

  Tanner smiled and focused on her. As he did he leaned closer, taking her hands in his. “Baptism is part of giving your life to Christ.” His eyes lit up. “Hey, I have an idea. I have a beginner’s Bible study. I keep the notes written in the back of my Bible. We could go over it together. Tomorrow, maybe.”

  Jade watched him, and her heart soared. She’d never allowed herself to feel so deeply about anyone, but something about Tanner was unquestionably safe. Despite all the reasons a relationship between them couldn’t possibly work, she felt herself falling hard. “I’d like that.”

  Jade had once heard love described by one of her nine-year-old patients. It’s like an avalanche, he’d said. When it happens to you, the best thing to do is run for your life. Jade thought about that and knew it was too late. She was already in over her head.

  Tanner’s eyes remained locked on hers. “You’re going to love getting to know God better, Jade. No matter what else happens in life, you’ll always have Jesus with you.” He paused. “I can’t imagine life any other way.”

  She drew a deep breath, and her grip on Tanner’s hands tightened slightly. It was time to bring the walls down all the way. “Remember that first day after the meeting? You asked me if I trusted you.…”

  A knowing look filled Tanner’s eyes, but he stayed quiet.

  Help me open up to him, Lord. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again she felt a new strength she hadn’t had before. “You told me the question wasn’t whether you trusted my driving or not. It was whether I trusted you.”

  Tanner’s voice was quiet. “You never answered me.”

  Jade leaned closer and placed one of her hands on Tanner’s upper arm. “I trust you, Tanner. I always have. I trust you now more than ever.” She felt her eyes fill with tears and saw that he was listening intently to every word she said. Her hand fell back to her side. “That’s all … I just wanted you to know.”

  His borrowed car wasn’t very large—a four-door sedan in which Tanner was already close. But as she finished speaking, he moved closer still and took her face in his hands. “Now it’s my turn.…”

  Jade searched his eyes, wondering what he was going to say. Whatever it was, she had a strong sense that it would change things between them forever. He raised his hand gently as she waited, tracing her cheekbones with his fingertips. When he finally spoke it caused feelings in her that were almost more than she could bear.

  “I love you, Jade.” His voice was mesmerizing, and she felt herself sucked into his gaze. She might live a hundred years, but the memory of this single moment, this day, would remain alive forever. “As long as I live, I’ll never love anyone the way I love you right now.”

  Tears blurred Jade’s vision, and she blinked them back as Tanner pulled her into an embrace. She didn’t cry because she doubted Tanner’s words or feared them. Rather, she cried because she believed them with all her heart. And though she couldn’t quite yet voice the words back to him, she felt the same way. She loved him; truly she did.

  Even if they only had this summer, she knew one thing for certain: She would never love any man like she loved Tanner Eastman.

  Ten

  DORIS LOOKED AT HER WATCH AND TAPPED HER FOOT NERVOUSLY. One-fifteen. They had four o’clock reservations at Beaches—a steak house on the river. That would give them plenty of time to talk first.

  Something about Tanner’s elusiveness bothered her. He had called and made plans to spend the afternoon with her, but when she asked him why he hadn’t called much, he hesitated and blamed it on work. But how much work could a summer intern have the first week on the job? Certainly not so much that he couldn’t find time to call. Then Tanner had done the strangest thing. He’d told her he wanted to bring a friend.

  “A friend?”

  “Yes, mother. I’m not a social outcast. I do make friends on occasion.”

  “I know that, dear.” Who could he possibly want to bring to meet her? Who could matter so much to him in such a short time? “Definitely. I think it’d be lovely if you brought a friend.”

  Doris had been too taken aback to ask further questions, too afraid of his answer. It couldn’t be the girl. There was no way he would have run into her so quickly. Probably someone on the board of supervisors, a fellow intern, maybe.

  But why hadn’t he said that?

  She glanced about, satisfied that the condominium was impeccable as always. The cleaning woman came twice a week, and now that Hap was gone it wasn’t much of a cleanup. Doris heard a car door outside and walked to the front window. There was Tanner and a girl, a beautiful, brown-haired girl. Doris couldn’t quite make out her face.…

  She gasped out loud, filled with sudden, desperate panic. It was her. It couldn’t be, but it was. Doris was positive. The girl was older, taller, more womanly. But the resemblance to her mother at that age was uncanny. The couple moved closer, and Doris saw the girl’s emerald eyes. Yes, indeed. Same seductive eyes as her mother.

  Doris wanted to lock the door, pretend that she’d gone out for the day and forgotten their visit. But it was too late. Tanner had spotted her and he waved in her direction. That’s when Doris saw something that made her stomach turn.

  Tanner and the girl were holding hands.

  She drew two deep breaths and steadied herself. This was no time to faint. She would have to put on a good show for Tanner’s sake. He would never understand her feelings about Jade Conner, and the last thing Doris wanted to do was turn her own son against her.

  Calm. Be calm. She exhaled slowly as she reached for the doorknob. There was nothing to get worked up about. Jade was not the type of girl Tanner would be serious about. Besides, he would go home at the end of the summer. Eleven more weeks. Then he’d forget about her.

  “Hello, Tanner.” She stood stiffly, waiting for him to approach her. When he did, he pulled her into a loose hug, gently kissing her on the cheek.

  “Good afternoon, Mother.” He turned to the girl who stood beside him. How was it possible? Wretched girl. It was all Doris could do to maintain her composure. She hated Jade for trying to look shy and demure, like a blushing virgin. Exactly the way her mother had looked so many years ago when Hap—

  “Mother, I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine.” He put a protective arm around Jade, and Doris had to fight the bile that rose in her throat. “This is Jade Conner; remember her mother? From Williamsburg.”

  Tanner searched his mother’s face, obviously looking for her reaction. Doris summoned all the theatrical ability she could muster. “My goodness, you don’t mean little Jade, the pixie from across the street, do you?”

  “How do you do, ma’am?” Jade looked nervous, and Doris wondered what she had to hide. Are they already sleeping together?

  She banished the thoug
ht and nodded politely toward Jade. “Well, you certainly have grown up since last I saw you.” Doris forced a smile. “You’re a mirror image of your mother, Jade.”

  Doris searched the girl’s face for a reaction, and sure enough, her slim shoulders fell slightly and her smile faded. Tanner seemed to sense an awkwardness between them, and he took the initiative, his hand still firmly clasping Jade’s. “Let’s go inside. Mom, maybe you can whip up some of your famous iced tea.”

  “I’ve got a pitcher chilling in the refrigerator.” Doris trailed behind them. This can’t be happening. This couldn’t be Jade Conner walking into Doris’s very own living room, holding Tanner’s hand, and having the nerve of looking exactly like her temptress mother? Doris steadied herself as she made her way to the kitchen and poured three glasses of tea.

  It’s just for the summer. She served the drinks and took a seat across from Tanner and Jade. She hated how they looked so comfortable together. Jade had obviously wasted no time getting close to Tanner. Like mother, like daughter.

  “So tell me, Jade, how ever did the two of you meet up again after such a long time?” Doris hated having to play friendly with the girl, but Tanner was watching her, so she had no choice. She refused to let the girl come between her and her son.

  “I live in Kelso, ma’am. Lived there since we left Williamsburg.”

  Tanner smiled fondly at Jade, and Doris felt as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. Why was he looking at Jade that way? What had gone on this past week? Doris forced herself to listen to what her son was saying.

  “Jade works in the children’s unit at the hospital. The board of supervisors had a meeting Monday night to discuss the possibility of closing that wing.” He nudged Jade playfully with his elbow. “I had the good folks of Kelso just about convinced until Jade, here, took over. Next thing we knew the idea was tabled, and Jade was sounding more like a legal intern than a nurse.”

  Jade smiled shyly but said nothing. Rather than validate anything about the girl, Doris changed the subject.

  “So, Tanner, you must have been busy with work this week. I thought I’d hear from you more often.” She was prying, hoping to find out how close the two had become.

  Tanner looked at Jade again and the two exchanged a look that terrified Doris. It was the look of two people in love.

  “The work’s been okay. Mostly I’ve been with Jade. May I tell her?” He looked at Jade, and Doris saw the girl nod her approval. Dear heaven, what is this? What terrible announcement are they going to make? For a moment, Doris felt her heart stop. Don’t tell me they’re considering …

  Tanner beamed as he spoke. “Jade gave her life to the Lord today at church.”

  Doris’s heart resumed beating. So that was all. Tanner had spent a week with the girl and already he had converted her. Naturally. Doris resisted the urge to roll her eyes in the wake of Tanner’s announcement. Whatever happened to old-fashioned denominational Christianity? The kind you didn’t wear on your sleeves or try to spread among your friends? “I suppose I should say congratulations.” Doris nodded a brief smile in Jade’s direction.

  Tanner was apparently too excited to notice Doris’s lack of enthusiasm. “We went to Crossroads … that church I like over in Vancouver. At the end of the service Jade made a decision for Christ.” Tanner turned to his mother, and she was hurt by the joy she saw there. It wasn’t right that a girl like Jade Conner could make her son feel so happy. Get away from him before I—

  “Isn’t that great, Mom?”

  Doris paused. What could she say? “Didn’t you have a faith before, Jade?” She knew she sounded abrupt, and she hoped Tanner wouldn’t think she was being rude. She wanted to tear the girl apart, ask her about her background and how many young men had fallen prey to her the way … well, the way young men had fallen prey to her mother so many years ago.

  Jade’s voice was barely audible. “No, ma’am. We weren’t churchgoing folk.”

  Doris nodded once. This was her opportunity. “Ah, yes. Now I remember. Your mama ran off, didn’t she? With the Stevens man, wasn’t it? Back before you and your daddy moved away.”

  A crimson blush spread across Jade’s face. Good. You deserve to suffer embarrassment. It’s a small enough price compared to what Tanner will suffer if he stays with you for long.

  Jade struggled for a moment as though she wasn’t sure what to say. “Uh, yes, ma’am … I … I’m sorry. Which way is the restroom?” The girl’s face was filled with alarm, and Doris thought she almost looked shocked. As though this were new information to her.…

  Jade stood and Doris pointed down the hall.

  When the young woman was out of earshot, Tanner hissed at her. “Mother! That was completely uncalled for.”

  Doris remained calm. “What, dear?”

  “That bit about her mother running off. Don’t you think that’s hard enough on her without you bringing it up now? When we’ve only been here five minutes?”

  Doris waved a hand at her strapping son. “Tanner, don’t be silly. A girl like Jade isn’t bothered by hearing the truth about her mother. After all, she’s lived with it all her life.”

  “What do you mean, ‘a girl like Jade’?” Tanner was getting angrier by the moment, and Doris searched for a way to defuse the situation.

  “I mean nothing by it, dear. Don’t get excited.”

  Tanner’s eyes narrowed as he set his jaw. “Listen, Mother, don’t bring it up again. It’s not an easy thing for her.” His voice was still a whisper. “She’s my guest, and I want you to make her feel comfortable—not force her out of the room.”

  Doris rose and patted her son on the shoulder. “Fine, I won’t let it happen again. I didn’t know your friend was so sensitive.”

  “Don’t you like her, mother? I mean, you could have said something nice. She just gave her life to the Lord an hour ago.”

  “Of course I like her, Tanner. I meant no ill will by what I said.” She leaned down and kissed her son on the top of his head. “Forgive me?”

  Tanner sighed. “Yes. But please be more careful. I care a lot about her.”

  Doris smiled, hiding her alarm as she strode into the kitchen to refill their glasses. There was no place in Tanner’s life for a girl like Jade Conner. He was going to be a senator, a congressman. He was headed for the Oval Office, and he would need a wife as cultured and well bred as he.

  Doris considered the exchange she’d just had with Jade. She had come close, but she hadn’t quite crossed the line, and she congratulated herself for making the comment seem like an innocent mistake. After all, it was the single detail from Jade’s past that Williamsburg people would obviously remember about her.

  And the reality was that Doris had struck first blood. If there was going to be a battle for Tanner, she hoped Jade would remember this moment.

  Because she wasn’t going to lose him to the daughter of a harlot without a fight.

  Eleven

  SCRIPTURE WAS LIKE A MIRACLE SALVE ON WOUNDS JADE HAD long since thought would never heal. As the days of summer wore on, she and Tanner spent as much time in God’s Word as they did sharing walks along the shores of the river and late-night conversations on his apartment patio.

  She was falling in love, but not just with Tanner—with life itself and most of all with God’s promises.

  Tanner was incredible, a walking encyclopedia of Scripture references. No matter what the conversation, he was always ready with a verse.

  If she grew sad over his impending departure: All things work to the good for those who love God.…

  When they discussed how a long-distance relationship might work: Nothing is impossible with God.…

  The times when she fretted over the children’s unit at the hospital: Cast your cares on him for he cares for you.…

  If she got ahead of herself and wondered who would take care of her father once she moved out: Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself.…

  And of course her fav
orite: I know the plans I have for you … plans to give you hope and a future.

  Scripture really was alive and active. It worked in her heart and changed her perspective so that every day was bursting with hope and promise. She and Tanner had found a church in Kelso where the Bible was preached and people seemed to care about each other the way they had at Crossroads.

  By July, the two of them were regulars and had joined a Bible study class. The second Sunday of that month, Jade was baptized—like the preacher had quoted from Scripture, “for the forgiveness of her sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

  Each day she listened to praise music while she got ready for school. The words spoke of the wealth of feelings that filled her heart. One evening in late July while she was humming a song about how nothing could compare to the love she had in Christ, her father shoved open her bedroom door and scowled at her.

  “What’s that garbage you’re listenin’ to?”

  Jade turned down the music and silently uttered a prayer for her father. “Christian praise music. Was it too loud?”

  Her father rubbed his temples, muttered a string of expletives, and squinted. “No. It’s too religious. God this and God that. Since when did you start believing all that trash?”

  “Tanner and I bought it at church a few weeks ago. I’m sorry you don’t like it, Daddy.” Jade took a step closer, studying her father’s eyes and wondering how he became such a miserable man. “Anyway, I like it. I’ll turn it down so you can’t hear—”

  “Tanner?” Her father bellowed. “You’re still seeing that snobby kid?”

  Jade sighed. “He’s a man, Daddy. And yes, I’m still seeing him.”

  “He’s using you, Jade. You know that, right? His kind don’t associate with our kind but for one reason only.”

  “Daddy! It’s not like that!” Tears filled Jade’s eyes, and she smelled stale alcohol on her father’s breath. Why can’t he be happy for me? Just this once.

  Her father studied the CD cover in her hands. “This Tanner guy’s got you converted, is that it?”

 

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