by Menon, David
She stepped back over the body and went into the kitchen. From the cupboard under the sink she took out the two metal containers of liquid gas that Shaun used to fill up his cigarette lighters. She emptied the contents of the two containers all over Shaun and her clothes that she’d thrown over him. She picked up her bag and stepped back to the doorway. Then she lit a match and threw it down. He went up instantly and in a flash the flames caught the wooden frame of their bed. The bed where they’d conceived their baby. Pretty soon this whole flat where they’d shared their life together would be up in smoke.
She checked through the peep hole of the front door that there was nobody around and then she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. She ran down the stairs and into the resident’s car park that was underneath the block. Shaun’s car was parked in the first line of spaces and she got in, throwing her bag onto the back seat, and drove off, leaving her own car parked nearby. She pressed the button to open the gate and then she was heading down Antrim Road. In the distance she could hear sirens. Someone must’ve dared to call the police. Or was it the fire brigade. Either way she’d be long gone by the time their noses sniffed what may have been going on. She didn’t look back. Not even once.
Graham called the number on his mobile from Manchester Airport. He’d just got off the early morning flight from Belfast City. Duncan’s voice answered. It sent a shiver down his spine.
‘ Ian Taylor’
Graham gave him a cock and bull story about needing to get a quote to convert his house into two flats. Ian told him he wouldn’t be able to undertake the job for a couple of months but if he was prepared to wait he’d happily give him the quote and see. He said if he wanted to see an example of his firm’s work he could come down to where they were working at the moment. Graham jumped into a taxi and as it drove him through the better off addresses of South Manchester he wondered what in the world he was doing.
‘ I knew it was you’ said Ian as he greeted Graham and asked him to come into the site office. He looked around cautiously but it didn’t look like Graham had been followed.
‘ Did you?’
‘ I recognised your voice’ said Ian, closing the door firmly shut behind them. This was one conversation he really didn’t want to be overheard. ‘ That’s why I asked you to come down here. And the name you used? Terry Carson? We used to hang around with him, remember?’
‘ I do. It was the only name I could think of’.
‘ Have you come on your own?’ Ian asked. It was weird seeing Graham standing there. He hadn’t changed much. A few grey hairs and a bit of extra padding round the middle but apart from that he was just older.
Graham looked puzzled by the question. ‘ Yes?’
‘ Did anybody follow you?’ Ian asked as he glanced out of the window, swinging his eyes back and forth just to confirm his assessment of a moment earlier.
‘ I don’t see how they could, I came straight from the airport’.
‘ Are you still with the police?’ asked Ian.
‘ Yes’ said Graham. He hadn’t expected to have the red carpet thrown down but neither had he bargained on Duncan being so suspicious. Did he really think he’d come to stab him in the back? ‘ Jesus, you feel like a complete stranger to me’
‘ That’s what I am’.
‘ We used to be friends. We were best friends’.
‘ That was a long time ago’ said Ian.
‘ I went to your funeral and it cut me up in pieces. We’d known each other since we were wee boys and been through so much and for the last twenty years I thought you were dead. Then an informant tells me you’re alive and that Derek Campbell wants your blood and for his trouble he ended up dead on my front lawn. So I called in a favour and got someone to risk his job to find out if it was true. I saw your mother and I wanted to tell her that the son she still grieves for is alive but I couldn’t tell her anything. I’m sorry but the least you could do is to talk to me’.
It was the first time Ian had clapped eyes on anyone from his old life and the years were falling like dominoes. How could he send Graham away? They’d been so close.
‘ Look, I’m sorry, Graham. This is a complicated time for me at the moment and then you turn up out of the blue. I am pleased to see you and there’s nothing I’d like better than to talk. There’s a pub next door. I’ll let the lads know I’m going off site and we can go in there’.
The King Edward was one of those small, cosy pubs, tucked away on a quiet suburban avenue and when Ian and Graham got there it had only just opened. There were a couple of old boys already sitting at the bar supping their pints.
‘ It’s too early for the hard stuff for me’ said Ian ‘ I’ve got masses of work to do this afternoon’.
Ian asked the barman for an orange cordial in a pint glass. Graham allowed himself a pint of lager. They took their drinks to a corner table. The pub was so small it was like sitting in someone’s living room.
‘ I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did just now, Graham’.
‘ It’s alright. I understand’.
‘ I’m sorry too about what I did to you and everybody’.
‘ You didn’t seem to have much choice from what I’ve gathered’.
‘ My God, you have been well briefed. What exactly do you know?’
‘ I know about the two republicans, your faked death, your new identity. I know why Campbell is after you. Has he shown himself yet?’
‘ Oh yes, he’s shown himself alright’ said Ian. So Graham didn’t know about his extra curricular activities of the last twenty years. ‘ I coach a rugby league side and he torched the clubhouse the other night’.
‘ I can help you with him’ said Graham. ‘ I want to nail that bastard as much as you do’.
‘ Are you saying you want us to work together on this?’
‘ That’s exactly what I’m saying. That’s why I’m here. I want to help you’.
‘ You don’t owe me anything, Graham’.
‘ Call it for old times sake’.
Ian ran his hand over his face. ‘ Jesus, Graham, you can’t compromise yourself or your job on my account. You’re a serving police officer’.
Graham laughed. ‘ My job! I spend all my time trying to undermine my Catholic boss who got the promotion instead of me. I’m past caring about all that shit, believe me’.
‘ I’ve often wondered what you’d done with your life’.
‘ Well, I got married’.
Ian remembered the girl who’d been hanging around Graham all those years ago.‘ To Wendy?’
‘ Well remembered. Yes to Wendy. We have three kids. She knows I’m here by the way. We don’t have any secrets’.
‘ Are you happy?’
‘ With the family side of my life, yes. Wendy is a good woman and a great mother to our kids. My youngest is only three, we slipped him in at the last minute, but the older two are doing well at school and turning out okay. I’m lucky that neither of them are into drugs or walking around with an MP3 player permanently attached to their ears. We can talk to our kids you know, they can talk to us. I’m proud of that’.
‘ Teenagers who still talk to their parents? You are lucky’.
‘ So what about you anyway?’
‘ It’s been hard these past twenty years, Graham’ Ian admitted. ‘ It’s been hard and it’s been lonely. I sometimes don’t know how I got through’.
‘ I’m sorry, mate. I really am’.
‘ Don’t be. I got myself into it’.
‘ Well it wasn’t quite as simple as that, mate’.
‘ Well, that’s generous’ said Ian.
‘ And what about … relationships?’
‘ You really want to know about my love life?’ Ian asked. The only time he and Graham had fallen out was when he told Graham he was gay. Graham hadn’t known how to handle it and he’d kept his distance for a while. But then he came round, said he’d been a stupid twat and they were as close again as they’d ever been.
‘ I asked didn’t I’
‘ Well up until a few weeks ago I was hopeless’ said Ian ‘ I pushed them all away when they got serious because I didn’t think that my other life was compatable with being with someone. But recently I met a guy called Mark and he’s turned my world upside down, Graham. He’s made me want to close the door on the last twenty years and finally move on. I have to say that the feelings run even deeper than they ever did with Kenny’.
‘ Jesus, it must be serious’ said Graham. ‘ Does he know about Campbell?’
‘ He knows everything’ said Ian ‘ I don’t know why the hell he wants to stay with me given all of that but he does and he must have a wild heart to stand by me. When this mess is over we’ll get on with our lives and I tell you, he’ll never want for anything’.
‘ Would you ever go back to Ireland?’
‘ I don’t know’ said Ian, his head down. ‘ There isn’t a day goes by without me thinking about Mum, Dad, our Claire. I don’t know how I could go back even after all this is over and Derek Campbell is dealt with. I don’t know if I could make it right’
‘ It wouldn’t be easy’ said Graham. ‘ But surely not impossible?’
‘ I should’ve listened to you, Graham. I should’ve listened to you when you told me not to get involved with Campbell. If I’d have listened to you then I wouldn’t be in this mess now and I wouldn’t have done that terrible thing to my family and to you’.
‘ I could never have stopped you’ said Graham ‘ You wanted revenge for Kenny and nothing would’ve stopped you.’.
‘ You begged and pleaded with me’ said Ian.
‘ I remember’ said Graham.
‘ I told you to fuck off and mind your own business more than once’.
‘ I remember that too. Then one day you were gone and I was going to your funeral but look, we’ve kind of been over this and nothing about it can be changed Duncan, sorry, Ian’.
‘ It’s alright. And what you say is true’.
‘ I really have come to help, you know. As your old mate’.
Ian thought for a minute. It was so bloody good to see Graham again. He’d missed his old friend and it would really be something if their friendship could be salvaged.
‘ When are you going back to Belfast?’
‘ I’m booked on the five o’clock flight this afternoon’.
‘ Could you change it to a flight tomorrow?’
‘ Well, yeah … I could. What did you have in mind?’
‘ We need to get our heads together on this whole Campbell business and apart from that I’d just like you to come over to our place and meet Mark and stay over. I want him to meet the best friend I ever had’.
Graham was touched by the idea. ‘ Okay, I’ll ring up the airline and change my booking. I’ll need to call Wendy too. She was due to pick me up at the airport. When all of this is done I’ll bring her and the kids over’.
‘ I’ll look forward to it. You don’t know how much’.
Ian had the sense that some of his old life was being handed back to him and he couldn’t be more grateful. It was a strange dichotomy of beautiful things happening against the background of such utter darkness. Mark had come into his life. Graham had come back into his life. But Lucifer was lurking in the shadows. Derek Campbell was out there somewhere and until he’d been dealt with there could be no moving on.
‘ Look, don’t forget that this city is alien territory to Campbell’ said Graham ‘ You’ve got the advantage here’.
‘ Yeah, but he’s getting help, Graham. He wouldn’t have been able to torch the clubhouse otherwise. He’s working with a group of far-right head cases over here and I don’t underestimate him, Graham. And neither should you’.
Jimmy Kent had seen more burned out cars left at the back of disused factories than he could even hazard a guess at. When he first joined the force it was a weekly diet of burned out cars and sectarian murders. He’d stand around on mornings just like this, with the rain pissing down making the whole scene look so fucking grey and suicidal, waiting for the plods in suits to come and drop their pearls of wisdom over the situation and tell uniformed grafters like himself what they already knew. Now he was the plod in the suit and he knew just what the look meant that the uniformed P.C was giving him as he walked up.
‘ D.C. I Kent’ said Jimmy as he held up his warrant card ‘ So what’s the story here, constable?’
‘ The car was found by kids earlier this morning, Sir’.
‘ Any signs of a body inside?’
‘ No, Sir. No sign, no trace’.
‘ Right’ said Jimmy, looking the VW over with his usual slightly suspicious eye. ‘ I take it forensics have been called?’
The constable paused to get the sound of his voice right. Of course he’d fucking called forensics. ‘ Yes Sir, I called them straight after I’d run the licence check’.
Jimmy raised his eyebrows. So what’s this, a rookie who could actually think for himself? Well now there’s a thing. ‘ And did the licence check throw up anything interesting, constable?’
‘ Well that’s why I called you, Sir. The car is registered to Shaun Campbell. The Shaun Campbell, Sir, son of Derek’.
Standing at the front door of the home she grew up in, Natalie gave out a big sigh. This was the house where she’d felt safe until her uncle had raped her and forced her to perform acts of sexual humiliation. The home where her mother had repeatedly branded her a liar. She should’ve gone straight to her contact who was going to get her over the border without asking any questions. By now she would’ve been on a flight out of Dublin heading for London and the first stage of her new life but she’d delayed her trip for an hour or so to make this little detour.
‘ Has Daddy talked to you about me?’ Natalie asked after her mother had let her in and led her into the kitchen.
Angela scoffed. ‘ Has Daddy talked about you? You really think the world revolves around you, don’t you’.
‘ I’m pregnant, Mum’.
Angela paused and then laughed with complete derision. ‘ You stupid little bitch’.
Natalie fought back the tears. ‘ Why do you think so little of me, Mummy?’
‘ Oh please. You’ll be sucking your thumb next’.
Natalie was crying now. ‘ And why are you so damn vicious towards me? Do you know how many times you’ve killed me over the years?’
‘ Oh listen to the poor little drama queen!’
Natalie picked up a casserole dish that had been sitting on the hob and threw it down on the floor with such force it made her mother jump back with shock. The broken pieces scattered all over the place.
‘ Why aren’t you putting your arms round me, Mummy?’ Natalie pleaded as she sobbed. ‘ Why aren’t you doing what any mother should do?’
‘ You know what to do’ said Angela, coldly. ‘ There are places called clinics and you can get rid of it’.
‘ Is that all you’ve got to offer me?’
‘ Oh you cashed in your chips here a long time ago, my girl’.
‘ After your paedophile brother laid his dirty hands on me I never felt safe here again!’.
‘ Ah change the record. Don’t you ever get sick of telling lies about my brother because I get sick and tired of hearing them’
‘ They’re not lies!’
‘ You’re a liar, Natalie!’
‘ Your brother was a paedophile!’
‘ Liar!’
‘ He was!’
‘ Liar!’
Natalie gave her mother the back of her hand right across her face.
‘ Just go, Natalie’ said Angela, composing herself despite still feeling the shock of Natalie’s slap. ‘ I never want to see you again’.
‘ Shaun’s dead’.
Angela didn’t show any reaction but inside she was seething. If her plans were affected by something to do with Natalie she’d strangle her daughter with her own hands.
‘ Did you hear what I said?�
�� Natalie demanded.
‘ I heard what you said, Natalie’.
‘ I’m carrying your grandchild’.
‘ It means nothing to me’.
‘ You’re evil’ said Natalie. ‘ Look at you, standing there like Lady bloody Muck when all you are is a banker for terrorists. I know everything about your activities and your contacts. I wonder what your neighbours would say if they knew that Derek Campbell was being paid by you? Shall I go outside now and tell them?’
‘ You’re the daughter from hell so you are!’ Angela raged. ‘ I’ve hated you since the moment you were born!’
‘ Daddy loves me. Why can’t you?’
‘ Oh daddy, daddy, daddy!’ Angela mocked. ‘ And to think he isn’t even your father’.
Natalie felt the breath escape her. ‘ What did you say?’
‘ Nothing’ said Angela. She hadn’t meant for that to come out. Not yet anyway.
‘ Repeat what you just said!’
‘ I was pregnant when I met the man you call your father’.
Natalie couldn’t get her head around it. ‘ It isn’t true’.
‘ Oh yes it is. Richard needed my family’s money and I needed a father for you. I often wonder if I made the right decision. I should’ve gone off and had an abortion’.
Natalie was devastated by her mother’s savagery. ‘ How can you be so cruel?’
‘ Cruel? I’ll tell you what cruel is. Cruel is falling in love with a man who lets you down. A man who breaks your heart when you find out he isn’t the man you thought he was. You don’t know what I went through when I found out I was pregnant with you. Every time I look at you I see him and the hatred burns inside me’.
Natalie grabbed her mother by the throat and pinned her up against the wall. She picked up a bread knife that was lying on the kitchen work surface and watched her mother’s eyes widen with terror.