Gabe stepped out of the trees, Asmodeus on his shoulder, smoke trailing from his gun. “Well,” he said, crouching beside me, “fancy seeing you here.”
“Nice shot,” said Asmodeus, although he quickly added, “for a celestial.”
Juliet hissed angrily, seemingly unable to form words anymore. I clambered woozily to my feet, still soaked through and freezing cold.
“Come on!” I had no idea what to do next, but I knew that it wouldn’t matter what we did. She would always come back, like some kind of robot, psychotic, butt-sexing boomerang. “Come on, come finish it!”
She seemed happy to oblige, reaching forward with her large hand.
Moving as quickly as I could, I crouched down and put my weight behind the steel railing, tearing it free of the ground. I raised it up, blocking her blow with the heavy metal.
The railing bent almost in half as her huge fist slammed into it. I flexed my arms, groaning loudly as I folded the thick metal around her wrist, twisting and turning until it was stuck. Then I jammed the tip through her forearm, burying it in deep.
“Now!” I said to Gabe.
He stared at me blankly. Presumably Asmodeus, that little stupid idiot, had forgotten to fill him in on the plan. “Now…what?”
“Now shoot her!”
“Oh, right,” he said, raising his gun up. Crack crack crack crack crack!
Roaring in anger, Juliet tried swatting me with her other hand, but I jumped back out of reach. Her arm extended once again, reaching out for me, but I was quicker. Summoning my strength, I leapt into the air as Gabe continued to blast away at her, each shot causing black blossoms of ichor to spray out from the entry wounds. She tried to dislodge her hand but the thick metal was stuck fast.
“Keep shooting!” I shouted. “Keep shooting!”
He did so, endlessly squeezing the trigger. His pistol seemed to have infinite ammunition which was useful to me. Shot after shot poured in, bright holy light slamming into her chest.
“Kill that bitch!” shouted Asmodeus, swinging his tiny fists around as though he were some kind of tiny boxer.
A boat on the water turned on a searchlight, the white beam sweeping the island like the finger of some monster, and a voice—obviously amplified by a megaphone—rang out over the harbour.
“NYPD! Freeze!”
It was going so well. All four of us exchanged a concerned look, all obviously sharing the same thought at the same time.
If the humans found us we would be in huge trouble.
The searchlight continued looking, sweeping over the water, and soon it would find Juliet.
“Truce?” I asked her.
“You are not forgiven,” said Juliet, shrinking herself down, until the metal popped free of her flesh and she was able to unravel herself from the tangle I’d made. “This fight is not over.”
I waggled my fingers at her as she slipped below the waves, presumably to escape and regenerate.
The boat continued yelling at us, but I knew we were more than capable of escaping back the way we came. “This way,” I said to Gabe. “There’s a bridge. C’mon.”
“Okay,” he said, casually rubbing his back. “Ow. That thing hurt.”
I bet it did. I glared at Asmodeus. “You took your time,” I said, grabbing hold of my shirt and wringing out some of the water. “But nice save on the railing.”
“Yeah,” said Asmodeus, pointing out to the water. “But hey. The cops are coming.”
“I know that. And Juliet’ll be back.” I ran my hands through my hair, trying to get at least some of the water out. “We gotta find some way to put her down permanently.”
“Let’s talk about that later,” said Gabe, and I couldn’t agree more.
A Longer Term Solution
Bridge to Ellis Island
Jersey City
New Jersey
We legged it from the cops, away from Ellis Island and towards the mainland, using a combination of our supernatural land speed and flight to really move. The barriers weren’t an obstacle for us, and within moments, we were well away from the island, looking to all the world like a pair of tourists. Asmodeus crawled back under my hoodie. All was good. I finally felt safe.
“Well,” I said to Gabe, grinning just a little as I reflected his earlier line back at him. “That went well.”
He smiled.
Asmodeus pulled on my ear. “No it didn’t. It was fucking awful.”
I swatted at him through my hoodie. “Sarcasm, little imp. Learn to communicate.”
“The lowest form of wit.”
It was fun to banter, but in the back of my mind, I knew we were not truly safe yet. Juliet had only left us alone because the humans were in danger of spotting me. What I needed was an option. I needed…something. An edge.
We walked through Liberty State Park, emerging once more into the suburbs of New Jersey. I checked the news on my phone. A report about kids shooting off fireworks on Ellis Island. It was stressed that the situation was well under control, but equally stressed that everyone should stay away from the area for their own safety. The nephilim were hard at work again, covering up for us as usual. I wondered how often they did this kind of thing.
“It’s a shame I can’t get back into Hell,” I said, slipping my phone back into my pocket and musing over the problem. “This really does seem like the kind of problem where if people just talked it over, we might be able to come to some kind of arrangement.”
“You tried to kill Lucifer, my dude,” said Asmodeus, his voice becoming rough like gravel. “You can’t just walk away from that shit.”
Gabe grinned to himself at that. He looked away from me, at the lights of New Jersey, seemingly quite amused by the notion.
“Something funny?” I asked, a little more snappishly than I needed to.
“Nah,” said Gabe, smiling my way. “I’m just saying…killing Lucifer is a pretty ballsy move. That takes some guts, girl.”
“Too bad I didn’t succeed,” I said, muttering darkly to myself.
Asmodeus pulled my ear. Hard. “You bitch,” he hissed. “Never say that!”
I swatted at him angrily. He pulled my ear again. I swatted some more. I must have looked like a crazy person, damp and frantically trying to bash in my own head. “He banished me!”
“You started it!”
“Did I?” Suddenly I was angry again. I tore back my hood. “Did I? I don’t remember! And if I’m being perfectly frank with you, Ass-fucker-modeus, I’m getting a little sick of getting beaten up, drenched, and frozen because of something I don’t even remember doing!”
There was a brief moment of silence.
“Man,” said Gabe softly, “what is it with you and anal intercourse?”
That managed to pry a smile out of me. “Well, it’s funny,” I said.
“It is funny,” said Asmodeus.
Another bit of silence. I nudged Gabe in the side.
“You and your ex,” I said, jokingly. “No idea she was into whipping people.”
“That one’s new for me too,” said Gabe. “Man, I got the ex from Hell.”
I snickered. “Hey, not yet you don’t,” I said, nudging him in the side again.
Asmodeus made the sound of a cat throwing up. “You two are fucking gross,” he said, a visible shuddering running up and down his whole body. “Blech.”
“But seriously,” I said, a more serious tone creeping into my voice. “We really gotta do something about this.”
“Failure is the opportunity to try again,” said Gabe. “But more wisely.”
That was true. “I’m not sure shooting her is such a good idea,” I said. “Doesn’t seem to be working so well for us both times we tried it.”
“Nephilim aren’t vulnerable to damage,” said Asmodeus. “That’s just how they are.”
Well, that was kind of a very good strength for them. Demons and celestials had power of their own, but obviously, total invulnerability wasn’t one of them.
&nbs
p; But…it wasn’t total though, was it? We had managed to chase her away twice now, but most importantly, I’d managed to disable her arms. So she could be bound, she could be crippled…disabled.
“Do you think,” I asked, slowly, thinking it through as I talked. “That…maybe…we could somehow tie her up and leave her there?”
“She can shrink and grow,” said Asmodeus. “That’ll make any kind of bindings difficult to apply.”
True. “Lucifer would probably know,” I said, not even really thinking about it.
Asmodeus and Gabe stared at me. I shrugged a bit, feeling awkward. “I mean, he knows a lot of stuff,” I said. “I assume. Never met the guy.”
“Almost no one has,” said Asmodeus, an almost whimsical edge to his voice. “I’d really like to.”
“I’ll pass,” said Gabe, frowning just a tad.
“Oooh,” I said, grinning cockily at him. “Afraid of the big tough guy, huh?”
He said nothing, which was fine.
“I mean,” said Asmodeus, obviously thinking about it. “You’re banned from Hell, Grace. And you’re banned from Heaven, Gabe. But I’m not banned from anywhere. If you wanted me to…I could go ask him.” He paused, hesitating fearfully. “Or, you know, go ask if I could ask him. And I could bring Gabe. To back up my story.”
“Angels aren’t allowed in Hell,” I said, frowning.
“Actually,” said Asmodeus, holding up a finger, “that’s not technically true. They are allowed if a demon vouches for them. Lucifer’s always looking for more recruits.”
Gabe snorted. “And you’ll vouch for me, little thing?”
Asmodeus scowled. “Does it look like I have much fucking choice, hot shot?” he threw his tiny hands in the air. “I’ll vouch for you, sure. Dick.”
That left only one question. “And what about me?”
“Well,” said Asmodeus, “this is where it actually gets good. Because…well, you’re not banned from Heaven, either.”
Heaven? I made a face. “There’s no way I’m going to be welcome there,” I said, groaning angrily. “They have that place locked up tighter than a Venetian chastity belt. I’ll most likely get destroyed on sight. The archangels do not fuck around.”
“Unless,” said Gabe, “an angel vouches for you. The same rules that apply to you apply to us.”
An interesting point, but it was all for nothing. “You know you’re banned from Heaven, right? Pretty sure that means that you can’t vouch for shit.”
“Actually,” said Gabe, mimicking—either deliberately or unintentionally—Asmodeus’s earlier comment, “that’s not technically true. Being banned from Heaven only stipulate that one cannot plane shift there. It doesn’t make me not an angel, and it probably doesn’t mean that I’m banned from vouching for someone, either.”
That…was actually a good point. “We’d be gambling a lot on a probably,” I said. “If we’re wrong about this, they’ll vaporise me instantly. They warned us never to go there for that reason…and I won’t have you there to back me up.”
“What choice do we have?” Gabe blew out a long, bitter sigh. “Fleeing forever? Constantly fighting? Constantly having to watch out, to battle, until we are worn down?”
Good point.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “All good bitches go to heaven I guess.”
Heaveni…port?
Jersey City
New Jersey
I couldn’t believe I was doing this.
Gabe took both of my hands in his, standing opposite me. He stared into my eyes, with those big ole’ beautiful blue ones of his, and he smiled. I couldn’t help—could not physically stop myself—from smiling along too.
“Lady Grace of the Pit, I, Lord Gabriel of Heaven, pledge on my honour, on my life, that you are fit to tread on Heaven’s shores; I name myself responsible for your actions, and I swear that I shall willingly, knowingly, accept your actions as my own. Entry is granted for one mortal day.”
The idea that whatever I did would be Gabe’s fault tickled my naughty side, but I kept that revelation to myself. I wasn’t going to abuse it.
He seemed to be waiting for me to say something.
“I accept your terms,” I said, as seriously and as gravely as I could. “I swear it.”
“Very well,” said Gabe. He closed his eyes, scrunching up his face. I knew that face. The face of concentration. The face of pleasant enjoyment. It was the same face he’d made when he’d blown his load right against my tongue, so the whole thing actually brought a genuine smile to my face, too.
Yet I was still in New Jersey.
For a few seconds there was nothing. Just a slight tingling in my arms. I had felt a helliport before; the warmth of Hell, the powerful build-up of energy, and the furious, wild shift of perspective from one place to another. It was like getting a firm spank on the rear. Hot, in both a sexual and physical sense. Lewd even.
But this was different. This was…boring, almost. Soft. Gentle. I felt myself lifting slightly off the ground as though becoming physically lighter; I felt like my body had been transmuted into Styrofoam, getting all light and bouncy and airy and…really soft. Soft and nice.
The pressure on my hands eased up as Gabe faded away, as Jersey City faded away, as…everything faded away, drifting away like smoke from a fine cigar, until nothing remained but a wall of white.
And I was not in New Jersey any longer.
On the Shores of Heaven
Heaven
The white light faded from my eyes and, after a brief moment’s squinting, I knew it must have worked.
I was standing a beach, golden and rich and clean, that stretched on forever in both directions. Behind me was the most sapphire-blue ocean I could imagine, sparkling as the daylight sun reflected off gentle waves. Beyond were green, rolling fields of luscious grass and the occasional short tree. Nestled in amongst the foliage were little cottages, one or two bedroom affairs, each with a small smoking chimney. The air was cool and pleasant on my skin, and the sun shone but didn’t burn me.
Everything else aside I had to admit it looked very pretty indeed.
“Good morning,” said a voice so close it made me jump.
A man was standing beside me, looking the same way I was looking, his arms folded politely behind his back. He wore a pair of track pants and a light blue hoodie, and he smiled in a way I couldn’t help but find remarkably teasing. He had a similar Australian accent to the one I had, the one I was most familiar with, and he had traditional Aboriginal dot-art around his eyes. “Sorry if I surprised you.”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to make myself sound more confident than I really was. “I was just…not really expecting anyone to be here.”
“Normally there wouldn’t be,” said the guy, giving a playful little wink. “But I think we both know, you’re not your average arrival to these shores, are you, mate?”
I smelled smoke. A nasty, acrid odour that seemed at once familiar and yet, quite strange. I looked around for the source, then finally looked down.
Little flames licked at my feet, as though my very presence was causing the ground to ignite below me. I lifted up a foot. The sand had turned to coals and ash, hissing faintly as the corruption spread, then slowly retracted, as though my footprints were a fast healing wound on this place.
“Cool, huh?” said the guy. “This place is trying to reject you, but you have permission, so…”
“So.” I asked, “Who the hell are you?” Dammit. I shouldn’t have said that. “I…I mean, who are you? Sorry.”
He nodded understandingly. “You can curse here,” he said, “if you want to. It’s your place, mate.”
“Fuck yeah,” I said, smiling widely.
The guy extended his hand to me. “My name’s Kuparr,” he said. “It means ‘red earth’ in the Ngiyampaa language. I’m your greeter. We’re all very excited to meet you, Miss Grace.”
“Cheers,” I said, taking his hand and giving it a firm squeeze.
He squeezed right back. Firmly. That was good. “So what do I need to know about this place?”
“Well,” said Kuparr, pausing for a moment to consider his answer. “Have you seen The Good Place?”
TV wasn’t really my priority. “Don’t really get cable in Hell,” I said, shrugging.
“That makes sense. Well, never mind then, they explain it pretty good.” He took in a shallow breath. “About Heaven, though? The idea is pretty simple. Heaven is…whatever you make of it. It’s whatever is good for you. Whatever would make you happy. This is your private little piece of joy.”
I snorted. “You feather-brains have it totally wrong,” I said, waving my hand dismissively. “Where’s the hot guys? Where’s the sexy little morsels for me to beat and play with?”
Kuparr gestured towards himself. “What do you think I’m here for? What do you think those cottages are for?” He unzipped his hoodie, revealing that he was wearing a black leather, strapped bondage suit, with buckles and clasps and ties aplenty. I ran my eyes over it appraisingly. It had O and D rings for fixing possibilities, unisex corset lacing, numerous push buttons, tit flaps for access to the nipples, and front and rear access panels.
“Okay,” I said, nodding approvingly. “Heaven is kind of cool.” The words actually felt dirty on my tongue but I justified them to myself as something I needed to say to fit in. “I’m guessing you don’t often get people up here with my…interests, shall we say?”
“You think bondage gimps don’t get to go to Heaven?” Kuparr snickered. “All types get up here, as long as they’re good folk. There’s nothing wrong with being into getting beaten, as long as you’re safe, sane and consenting.”
“Blech,” I said, making a face.
Kuparr made a soft tut-tut-tut noise. “Well, anyway. We probably shouldn’t stand around gasbagging for too long, mate. C’mon. Let’s find a nice looking cottage and put the kettle on, okay?”
20 Shades of Shifters: A Paranormal Romance Collection Page 120