Not give up the curse? How could she not give it up? It changed her every month into an animal. David hadn’t really seen that, the actual change, she’d sheltered him from it because she could imagine what his expression would be, the horror on his face…
“Helen? You okay?” That same face, filled with concern looked at her now.
“Yeah, sorry.” She pulled in a shaky breath, and took a sip of the tea to hide for just a second.
Eva drank some of her tea, clearly unbothered by the heat or by Helen’s distraction. “You will find Bianca Donceanu and her band only a few stops ahead on the path, at Blowing Rock on the edge of the Cherokee National Forest, at a large ground where the bands meet. I do not know if she will consider your request. Or if she will listen to you at all. I know she was angry. But the path is changing and more change is to come. She knows this too.”
She reached out and touched Helen’s hand. “But be careful. As I mentioned before, there are those who value the ability to become the symbol of our freedom. They feel you do not deserve the chance to experience it.”
“We’ve met them.” David’s voice was deeper than normal, an expression of anger that didn’t show on his face.
Eva’s lips drew down in a grimace. “Ruv Danior is the leader of that particular pack.” She paused, her expression thoughtful. “The wolves help the magic. More magic, more wolves and more wolves, more magic.” She stared at Helen. “We need them.”
Right. Okay. So maybe Helen had been cursed as a kind of balance because they’d lost the campground? She hadn’t answered Eva when the grandmother asked her if she was sure she wanted the curse gone. Maybe she didn’t. Or maybe she did, but she wasn’t saying either way.
Lots to think about in that very short conversation. What was said, what wasn’t.
“Good luck.” Eva stood. “Don’t worry about the camper. One of the teens will be assigned to clean it. Someone usually needs to be punished for something. She grinned and walked out the door without a goodbye.
“Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” David said sardonically. “Let’s go.”
But Helen didn’t seem to hear him. She drank her tea slowly, clearly lost in thought. He took the time to gather both their things and when he opened the door to take them out to the SUV, she didn’t move.
“Sure, sure, shining knight in armor one day, valet the next,” he joked to himself. He shook his head when he spotted the teen boy from the campfire the night before, the one with a chip on his shoulder and connections to the wolves that attacked Helen. Maybe he couldn’t help her with her internal struggle, not yet, when she wouldn’t let him in, but he could help her with this.
“Hey,” he said and nodded to the boy while he popped the trunk open.
“You leavin’?” The kid looked around like he was afraid someone would catch him talking to the stranger.
“Looks like it.” He threw the bags into the back and slammed the hatch. “Need something?”
“About last night… I know the wolves. They don’t like your woman. She’s an ingrate. Not happy with her gift. One that she shouldn’t have gotten in the first place. Some say the grandmother is slipping, giving her the power when she took away the land. But anyway, they are gonna come after you again, if they get the chance. Maybe you shouldn’t go to the gathering.”
David leaned against the vehicle. “Why are you warning us when you were so angry last night?”
The boy shifted uneasily, scuffed his sneakers in the dust. “After the fire, they thought I was on their side. I am but… I don’t want anyone to get really hurt, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Okay, I gotta go. Be careful or your lady’s gonna end up dead, even if she is a wolf. They can’t heal from everything.” He didn’t wait for David to say goodbye, just slipped away between the RVs.
“Interesting.” Wolves could be hurt, but not by everything? So they healed well? What hurt them then? Silver, from the old werewolf shows and what Helen had said about it burning her. Another bit of information to file away.
They could be in real, mortal danger. Time to think about why he was here exactly. He loved a mystery, and this was a dozy, and he wanted to help. Most of all he wanted more time with Helen. She was nothing like Sharon, who needed everything, and eventually needed too much. She was the opposite, never asking for anything, and pushing him away when she thought he was getting too involved.
He’d considered it before, but now was the time to be sure. What did he want from her?
The answer was easy: everything. He wanted to solve the biggest puzzle of all with her: life. Imagining being without her now hurt. Was this what love was like? A choice between pain with her, fighting the wolves and solving the curse, or face the pain of trying to live without her? No choice at all, there.
He walked back up the three steps to the RV door and pulled it open. “Come on, time to go, wolfgirl.” He shot her a quick grin at her irritated expression.
Helen sat quietly in the car, watching out the window as the landscape sped by. It seemed David’s voice had replaced that of her father. His advice whispered in her ear. Take it one step at a time. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Be with me.
David spoke into the silence. “Look, I think we need to stop and get a place to have a break. A motel or something.”
He hadn’t taken his eyes off the road as he spoke and she studied his profile. Was he beginning to regret coming along with her on this crazy trip? It didn’t seem real to her, the whole thing and she was the one turning into a wolf, so what did he feel about what they’d discovered?
He glanced at her. “We need to refuel, and I don’t mean the car. The blog says that the bands meet at this place for a couple weeks every year, to catch up with each other. So we have the time. We need to think about what we learned and take a bit to think about what to do next. The Rom aren’t what I imagined. We need to consider our approach. And we need to do laundry.”
There it was again, that word, ‘we.’ It thrilled her to hear it. He used it a lot and it heated her up inside. A break wouldn’t be so bad, with him. And yes, they had a lot to think about.
“Okay. Real food would be good, too.”
He looked concerned for a moment. “I haven’t seen you eat too much lately.”
“Squirrels, mice, rabbits. Best not to think about it too hard.”
“Oh.” He stared at the road.
Great, she’d grossed him out. She looked down at her lap and the well-worn jeans she had on. How far she’d come from the perfectly dressed woman with the corner office and daddy issues. Working on survival did that. And having someone else to consider for a change.
“Do you need to run tonight?”
“Yes. It’s the last night that I have to be the wolf. I can hold it off after this until the moon is nearly full again.”
David pulled off the highway and turned into a small town. A few turns later and he was parked at a small motel with a clean-looking front. “That’s the first time you called yourself a wolf, rather than a beast. I like it.”
Fire burned in her cheeks. Was that true? She’d thought of herself as the wolf lately, even talked to it in her head. Was she becoming comfortable with the curse? Accepting it somehow? Lately, it seemed as though she’d had more control over the change and over herself once she became the wolf. “I guess I’m getting used to it.”
“Let’s get checked in and find a laundromat and then get some supper.”
A good plan. Letting him lead at times was also something she was getting used to. That could be dangerous, if her father had been right about anything. “Why are you with me?” She had to ask. What was this need he had to help all the time? He’d admitted his preoccupation with the urge to help. But why?
He pressed his lips together and stared out the window. His hands gripped the wheel. She waited and finally he turned to her and spoke. “I…was involved with a woman once.”
The wolf in her growled a bit, but
she stayed quiet.
“My brother always called me a Boy Scout. I was one, but that’s not why. I like to help. I talked to a therapist for a while, and I understand I have a sort of compulsion to help. Because I enjoy being needed. Something that comes from being from a big family. But that was after. Sharon needed me. She needed a lot of things. I became what she thought she needed most, what I thought she needed, but I wasn’t enough.
“In the end, nothing was enough. She took drugs. She found other men. And then she killed herself. She never got what she really needed, which was professional help. I let her down.”
Helen breathed shallowly. She didn’t want to smell him when he remembered another woman. Or worse, when he remembered her loss. Was that all she was? A replacement for someone he hadn’t been able to help? A charity he felt an urge to aid? A woman in distress?
Asking was out of the question. If she pushed too hard, and she knew she could, she could drive him away. And for once she didn’t want that. Didn’t want to stand alone just to prove her father wrong. She wanted David. In and out of bed. Definitely in her life. But she wouldn’t let him think he’d failed.
“You didn’t. She was sick and you were there.”
He looked at her, his hazel eyes full of pain. Tiny tired wrinkles edged the corners and marred his forehead. “I know. Like I said, I saw a therapist. Something Sharon refused to do. I’m okay with it now, for the most part.”
She laid a hand on his thigh, rubbed.
“You’re nothing like her. But I still want to be there for you. You have all this strength, this power in you. You’re amazing.”
She kissed him then, but a little part of her wondered what would happen when her problems with the Rom were solved.
Hours later, laundry accomplished and supper devoured, she bounced on the bed a few times and then stood to pace. David concentrated on his cell phone, emailing instructions to his secretary and making excuses to a few people about meetings he was going to miss. He looked up occasionally, checking on her.
God, she liked the way his T-shirt hugged his broad shoulders and thick chest. And although he was seated, she could appreciate the tight line of muscle in his legs. Having another glimpse at his ass would be nice. She paced to the window and looked out for what had to be the fifth time. The moon was taking forever. When the darkness was complete and the moon rose, she’d run.
“Getting antsy? Want to go for a walk? We can find a place that you can change safely. We can take the car to the edge of town. I’ll even let you hang your head out the window.”
She growled a bit for that and he laughed.
“Come on.” He stood and tucked his phone away into his jeans pocket.
She followed him out into the parking lot and into the SUV. This was probably a bad idea, taking him with her to the woods. What if there were other wolves nearby? The ones who sometimes ran on two feet, the ruva, the ones who hated her for being cursed.
Worse, in a way, he hadn’t seen her really change. Not all of it. Not directly. He hadn’t liked the thought of her eating mice and rabbits, what would he think when he actually saw her go through the change? Become an animal? No way she could force it to go quickly tonight, the full moon was two days past, so she had to let the change take its own pace. If he came with her, he’d see it all.
She headed for the driver’s side. “Maybe I should go by myself.”
She opened the door only to have him shut it on her. “You aren’t leaving me behind again. I can protect myself. And what if they come while you change? We’ve been through this before. It’s safer for me to be with you.”
Twilight was almost past and there were a few people in the parking lot. Not a lot but Helen felt eyes on her. “Fine. But I’m driving.” She held out her hand for the keys but he shook his head and went around to the passenger side and climbed in. Smart man. She would have driven off without him if she could. She climbed into the black SUV. It really needed a wash. If she were home she’d never let it get dirty like it was now.
Yet another inane thought. Like a dirty car was important. Truthfully, she didn’t even miss her apartment or her life all that much. Maybe her heels. Sneakers and boots were getting old. So were jeans and ponytails. She climbed into the car and held out her hand for the keys. He passed them over and she couldn’t resist sticking her tongue out at him.
He grinned. “See not so hard to let me in. And you can put that tongue to excellent use tonight.”
She laughed. Laughing was easy with him. So was thinking about putting her tongue to use, and letting him use his. He leaned over and kissed her. It would be a short run tonight. Just enough to let her wolf relax.
They reached the edge of town pretty quickly, but it was difficult to find a place where they wouldn’t be disturbed. Single houses and farms were spaced just far enough apart they couldn’t risk stopping, so they drove for nearly an hour before the found a thicker set of woods.
She pulled into what looked like an old hunting or maybe logging road and parked out of sight of the road. For a moment, she sat and gripped the steering wheel. Finally, she glanced at him. David was watching her calmly.
“I don’t want you to watch me change.”
“Why not? I’ve already seen it once.”
He reached for her but she flinched and he stopped. She climbed out of the SUV and he followed suit, then walked over to her side of the vehicle.
“You saw some of it. I was under a blanket. And I forced it so it was fast.”
He crossed his arms. “I want to see it.” He set his jaw and she sighed. Her stomach hurt. Maybe she was going to end up with an ulcer.
“It’s bad, David.”
“I can imagine.” He reached for her again. She let him rub her arm and then pull her in for a hug.
Her heart pounded as she leaned into his embrace. When had what he thought and felt come to mean so much to her? He could be repulsed by her change. He would be. It was a brutal thing, and while it had become something she no longer feared, it was painful, and ugly.
He unzipped her light jacket and pulled it gently from her shoulders. Slowly, he pulled her long-sleeved T over her head. She hadn’t bothered with a bra. She let him guide her and undress her and savored the touch of his fingers as they glided over her skin. Would he want to do this after he’d really seen what happened under the curse?
She stepped out of her boots and pressed her toes into the earth, trying to feel the sense of grounding this action always brought, but she couldn’t find her balance, could only focus on his nearness, his scent and his heat. The sounds of the forest, the smells, nothing registered except him. She stepped out of her jeans with his guidance, and finally out of her underwear.
She looked at the ground. The pressure to change throbbed slowly inside her. He lifted her chin with his fingers and laid his lips gently against hers. Soft and warm, he caressed her. Would this be their last kiss?
The call beckoned and she couldn’t hold it off any longer. He wanted to know what it was like for her to change. Now he was going to see it.
Chapter 13
Helen stepped away from him. For a second he fought the urge to hold on. Her reluctance to shift forms in front of him had dread curdling his belly. Shit. It was going to be bad.
She let out a low moan and turned to face the moon. Her hands were already changing, the nails black and long. Her body writhed and he fought not to go to her as her moan wavered between the one she made when they were in bed to one he knew marked pain. The fact that it slid back to pleasure wasn’t lost on him, but then she fell to the ground. Grinding, crunching sounds took his attention and he fell to his knees as he realized that the noises were her bones breaking and changing length. Her face twisted and the glint of fangs caught the pale moonlight.
Her forehead compressed and her nose and jaw elongated into a muzzle. Claws dug into the earth as she growled and groaned and she shook, trembled violently as a tail erupted, skin and bone forming where there had been non
e. She lifted her head and uttered a howl. Her hair shifted, not disappearing but whitening and blending deeper and deeper into the fur that sprouted everywhere on her body.
There was no blood. There should have been and the thought wouldn’t leave him. With this much agony there should be blood. He sat hard on the dirt beside the car. Her howl turned triumphant and she sang to the moon for a long moment. Then she shook all over and turned to him.
Only her eyes were the same. He’d seen that before, when she was a wolf at the cabin. Her beautiful golden eyes couldn’t be mistaken, not by him, for anything other than intelligent and present. She was in there. She took a few tentative steps toward him, and he lifted a shaking hand out to touch her.
She let him stroke her once. Then she was off, running through the woods. He didn’t move. Very slowly, he leaned back against the front tire of the SUV. “Fuck.”
Maybe she’d been right not to let him see. His stomach churned. Not because what he’d seen was disgusting, but because for the first time he had really experienced the magic of the moment. And her pain. My God, the pain. He tilted his head back and looked at the moon. Shifting wasn’t some late night TV show. This was real, and it put Helen in agony, and in danger. No wonder she was desperate to stop it.
Gradually, he caught his breath and slowed his heartbeat. He stood and collected the shotgun from the back seat.
The forest talked to her. Not in words, but in the texture of dead leaves under her paws; the scent and taste of prey on the breeze; the sound of a night owl far enough away that she wasn’t concerned about it or other predators. That the owl was hunting meant there were no wolves among the trees but her. No other big animals either. She could enjoy the run, run for hours and hours before she grew tired and returned to her human form. The run, her human side admitted, was glorious.
At least she no longer feared the human side of herself, and the human no longer feared the wolf. And she had found them a suitable mate. They would take pleasure in him tonight and maybe there would be pups.
20 Shades of Shifters: A Paranormal Romance Collection Page 178