by Poppy Flynn
Micah smoothed his big hand comfortingly up and down her back and Charlotte felt her panic ease, and with that came the awareness that the crowd had immediately deferred to Micah's authority.
"While you're trussed up like this, there will be no expectation from anybody for you to interact with them. You are my submissive and I am in control. Each and every person here understands that. Right now, all contact goes through me. There will still be those who want to stop and meet you, but you don't have to handle any of them. That's my job as your Dom." Micah tilted her chin up to face him. "Do you understand?"
Charlotte nodded, already feeling steadier.
"And as your Dom, I could simply demand this. It is my right to do so, but I'm also taking a guess that you don't really want to deal with all of this, either. Am I right?"
Taking a calming breath, Charlotte looked him in the eye and nodded once again.
"So, what I propose is that I keep you attached to the leash, which will be clipped to my belt. We'll take a tour of the club for both your benefit, so you can look around, and for mine, so I can keep an eye on everything. I'll have to stop and talk to various people and I will decide the scope of those interactions. For the most part, I want you to keep your head down and stand by my side. Okay, so far?"
Unable to do anything else, Charlotte nodded a third time while Micah continued. "Occasionally, there may be someone I think you should meet, and if so, I will give you the hand signal to look up. After I've introduced you, you bow your head again and listen to the conversation so that you can form your own impressions, because those will be the Doms I think you might connect with in the future."
Charlotte couldn't help the tremble that shivered through her at those words, but Micah pulled her close and nuzzled her cheek, calming her. "It's just something to consider," he assured her. "Finally, I'll try to avoid it, because this is your time, but if I have to talk business, I'll give you the signal to kneel, so you can relax while I'm doing so. Now, is there anything you're unsure of or that you object to?
Charlotte gazed at Micah with absolute trust and shook her head, the corners of her mouth lifting around the ball gag. Micah grinned back. "Then, let's get this show on the road."
It took a while to make the circuit of the floor. They had avoided the public level with the dance and bar areas that accommodated tier one members and their guests, who came mostly just to enjoy the sensual atmosphere and experience the unique shows put on by those tier two members—those who revelled in public displays as they showcased their talents and vices, from flogging and spanking to pole dancing and far more intimate and erotic acts, on suspended platforms above the heads of the crowd. And they also bypassed the private rooms where some of the more serious and intense members practiced, staying instead within the confines of the newly equipped playroom. It was a vast, open space, constructed by the removal of several large overnight suites that the previous proprietors had rented out on a nightly basis, and the re-organisation of the rather stark, industrial playrooms, which had been retained but thoroughly revamped in the lavish style of the original Club Risqué, to form individually designed theme rooms from the chic French boudoir and the staid headmaster's study, to the meticulous medical room and the high tech suspension chamber and all manner of special spaces to accommodate every possible fantasy in between.
Charlotte knew, through the rumour mill, that the conscientious but anonymous new owners had unanimously felt that the overnight suites not only necessitated a constant night staff, working horribly antisocial hours, for a limited membership capacity, but were also too difficult to police and, therefore, subject to the kind of misuse that undermined the new club's principles. Instead, they'd been stripped away to form the basis of the well monitored, restricted members' arena, complete with all manner of erotic apparatus and specialist implements, which allowed a higher volume of members to play and scene safely, and although not subterranean or even on the ground floor, she remembered that it was fondly referred to by all as the 'dungeon'.
The slow traverse of the dungeon had allowed Charlotte to regain her wits and become a little more accustomed to the attention. And there had been very much more of that than she had expected. She knew it couldn't have been, but it seemed that for every two steps they took, someone came forward for an introduction. Micah had thankfully brushed many of them off with the excuse that, for tonight, at least, his sub was only to be seen. In this world, no one questioned such a claim, and for that, Charlotte was truly thankful, although the situation could scarcely be refuted, trussed up as she was with a gag and a leash and her wrists cuffed behind her back. She kept her eyes dutifully lowered just as instructed, and she had only been signalled to her knees once. She had, however, been formally introduced to four different men.
Masters Flynn and Cameron were both handsome and panty melting sexy, but as they talked to Micah, it became clear they were looking for a permanent sub to make up a three-way ménage…definitely not for her! She was struggling just with the thought of a single Dom right now, no way she was going to be able to take on two any time soon. Holy jeepers, no. No how, no way!
Then there was Master Peter. He was a perfect gentleman, well spoken, courteous and impeccably groomed. Unfortunately, he was also old enough to be her father, slightly portly and quite possibly shorter than her own five-foot-ten-inches. Certainly, in her rather moderate heels, he had been.
Charlotte felt bad about the guilt she felt for judging him so blatantly on his appearance since he was undoubtedly a very nice man. But she honestly couldn't imagine how she would ever manage to scene with someone, anyone—regardless of their age—whom she didn't at least find attractive or if she didn't believe in their ability to dominate her. And that was certainly something she hadn't been convinced of with Master Peter. Looking down at her supposed Dom just wasn't going to do it for her, no matter how nice he was.
Finally, there had been Master Blake. Charlotte had liked him. Tall and lean, like herself, he had kind, hazel eyes and exuded a quiet reserve. Charlotte felt that he was just the type of Dom she could build a successful relationship with…if she could only get over the feeling that she was looking at the brother she'd never had, since, with one glance, she'd been overcome with the unsettling impression that she was looking at a male version of herself.
Would it always be this difficult, she wondered? Would her barriers come down as she persevered, or would she never be comfortable enough to be here as a single submissive if she had to confront the overwhelming attention that had been displayed toward her tonight completely unaided.
She couldn't have endured the evening if it hadn't been for Micah's safeguarding. She would have chickened out and run away and probably never returned. Once that protection was concluded, how would she ever manage to progress?
Micah pulled her out of her introspection, putting a finger under her chin and forcing her to meet his gaze. "You're thinking so loud I can hear you. Relax!" He smiled, tapping her nose. "Give yourself a chance to get comfortable with it all before you write it off."
He led her to one of the comfortable chairs that dotted the area for the purpose of viewing or aftercare and, settling himself, he pulled her onto his knee, over-riding her automatic resistance and snuggling her into his arms at the same time as he released the gag and cuffs.
His deep voice rumbled in his chest and she felt the vibrations against her cheek as he tucked her head under his chin and stroked long fingers down the expanse of bare skin to massage her wrists before caressing back up her arm again in a gesture that was half comforting, half arousing. "You're allowing what's happening right now to overwhelm you, Cha-Cha. You need to chill and not make any spur of the moment decisions. Just let it settle a little."
Charlotte felt herself melt into Micah's strength as she followed his command to relax. Micah felt her resistance diminishing, too, and concentrated his soothing fingers on her shoulder and the side of her neck. As he caressed behind her ear, he felt the tremble t
hat shivered through her body and knew it had a completely different cause than fear.
He closed his eyes and sighed out his own deep breath. They needed to make some decisions. "You wanted to explore this lifestyle, sweet pea. Has anything about the initial training made you have a change of heart?"
Charlotte shook her head and Micah angled her head to meet his gaze. "I need to hear you, baby."
"No," Charlotte confirmed. "Nothing throughout the training. I enjoyed it. It gave me a sense of freedom I never expected to find. I've come to recognise that I'm hardwired to be submissive, maybe because of my upbringing, but maybe because I was born that way."
She rubbed her cheek against the soft silk of his shirt, appreciating the texture. She felt safe and protected and cared for in his arms and it was an experience she wanted to retain forever. Maybe not with Micah, but with…someone.
"I also accept that, although I don't want to be in control all the time, having that power taken away terrifies me. I know that is undeniably because of my upbringing and having experienced the absolute helplessness of having even your basic choices taken away from you."
She gave a brittle laugh. "The ultimate 'catch twenty-two' situation."
Micah massaged her neck muscles as he felt them tense underneath his touch and waited until she relaxed once more.
Her voice took on an unyielding determination as she continued. "The ability to give control over to someone else, but on my own terms, is life-changing for me. It makes me feel like I've finally found the most important piece of the jigsaw, one that I've been searching for without ever realising it was missing and without ever knowing what it looked like."
She took a deep breath and looked Micah right in the eye. "It makes me feel whole."
Micah's heart ached for everything Charlotte had endured, even while it soared with the knowledge of her epiphany. He lowered his head and took her lips in an exultant, soul deep kiss that drew murmurs of speculation from many of those close enough to observe.
"So where does it go from here?" Micah queried when he finally released her. "Because for all those fine words, I'm sensing a 'but'.
Charlotte sighed and rested her head back on Micah's strong shoulder. If only she could stay right here in this sheltered little cocoon and never need to make a decision. "I guess some things are just too ingrained," she ventured. "At least to be able to overcome very quickly."
"The cult took sexual repression to whole new levels but, at the same time, stripped us all naked for communal bathing on a daily basis. Sort of a 'this is totally forbidden and taboo, but we'll dangle it right in front of your nose to see how well you deny the temptation'."
Charlotte shrugged. "Or maybe the idea was just to desensitise us all to those kinds of impulses." She huffed a laugh. "I really don't know; it was kind of contradictory so…maybe both. But even sex wasn't something the women in the cult had control over. Marriages were arranged by the Supreme Disciple and sex outside of marriage was strictly prohibited except when…" Charlotte trailed off, unable to verbalise some of the dreadful things she'd heard said in careful secrecy and fearful whispers and changed direction. "If the man was an elder, then he might have some say in his own pairing, but the women had no say in the matter."
Charlotte was quiet for a moment and Micah had to strain to hear her next words.
"My own marriage had been arranged for the day after my eighteenth birthday…that's why I planned my escape." She took a deep breath, knowing that she had to get it out. "I never saw it for myself, but there were…rumours about what happened to women who refused their wedding vows. Rumours which insinuated that those women were forcibly made available to all the men in the commune." She shuddered noticeably.
Micah's arms tightened involuntarily, and he forced himself to ease his hold as an impotent rage bubbled which took all his self-restraint to overcome. Charlotte didn't need his anger and it served no purpose in the here and now.
"One of the first things I did after I gained my independence was to have sex. I did it because I was obsessed with making that decision for myself and having control over my own body, but it was still a mistake. I threw away my virginity simply so that it couldn't be taken away against my will. There was nothing special or significant or even dignified about the act and afterwards I felt horrible. I felt cheap and dirty. I felt like a whore, but instead of selling my body for money, I'd bartered it for some misplaced preoccupation with consent."
She wriggled on his lap to make herself more comfortable. "The upshot was that I misused my own body because I was so scared of having it exploited by others." She huffed out a bitter laugh. "And I still got hit by all the guilt of committing sinful behaviour and the 'angry God' mentality that had been drummed into me at the commune. It put me in a really bad headspace for a while and, although I've come to terms with most of it, there are still things that are difficult for me to concede…and casual sex is one of them."
For a moment, the image of Jake Blackwood taunted her, mocking her words. But sex with him had never been casual. To her, it had meant something, something she had desperately wanted to explore. Jake just hadn't had the same inclination.
"Hence the no penetration clause on your limit list," Micah surmised.
Charlotte nodded. "But that's something I need to re-evaluate, and I need you to help me work how to include it, but not always." She gave a humourless giggle. "I guess that doesn't make much sense." Charlotte shook her head and sighed. "What I mean is that I'm not completely opposed to having sex and sometimes, during the training sessions, I've been so aroused that I've really wanted to take things further."
Biting her lip, Charlotte peered at Micah from beneath her lashes. "I would be comfortable doing that with you," she admitted hesitantly, dropping her eyes so she didn't have to see his expression.
Micah palmed her cheek and brought her head back up again. Brushing his lips gently against hers, he whispered, "I'm honoured."
"Maybe with other Doms, if I've scened with them and built up a rapport, I might eventually feel the same way, but how do I make that option available, when it's on my hard limits, without making it available to others whom I don't feel the same way about?" Charlotte's brow furrowed, and she chewed on her thumbnail.
Micah pulled her hand away and kissed her fingertips. "It's not that hard, angel. All scenes are negotiable, so you don't have to agree to sex, even if it's not on your limits list."
"I don't want people to think I'm a tease. And what if someone got carried away in the heat of the moment because they know sex is not a hard limit?" Charlotte argued.
Micah raised an eyebrow. "A good Dom would never get carried away like that," he asserted. "But, for your own peace of mind, what I would suggest for you is that intercourse is listed as a soft limit which is open for negotiation during the scene and that you consider carefully the options concerning other forms of penetration."
Seeing Charlotte's frown, he elaborated. "You may want to take penetration with fingers or a dildo off of your limit list but keep anal penetration and blow jobs as a hard limit, for example."
Charlotte's smile was spectacular. "Yes!" she exclaimed. "That's perfect. Exactly as you said, except for blow jobs. I want those on my soft limits, as well."
Clutching his face in her hands, Charlotte gave Micah an excited kiss before she jumped up. "I want to change my contract right now," she declared. "And then I want you to introduce me to the whip."
Chapter 7
Barely thirty minutes later, they were back on the dungeon floor and Charlotte was positively bouncing. The changes had been made to her limit list and she was more than happy to take up Micah's recommendations with just a couple of revisions.
Blowjobs, she could handle, and Charlotte felt an overwhelming need to offer something back to the potential Doms she might play with. It didn't seem fair, if she wasn't prepared for intercourse, that the men who chose to scene with her—if she ever let them, of course—would give so much of themselves, gi
ve her the pleasure and the peace she sought, but get nothing back in return.
Micah had explained, just as Desi had, that intercourse wasn't always the outcome of this type of alliance, that the fundamental submission and exchange of power itself was just as rewarding and fulfilling to a Dom. Still, it didn't feel right that the ultimate culmination of all that effort didn't translate to a physical release of some kind. In her own mind, that was like having the greatest party with the most incredible cake but not getting a chance to taste it and then having to watch while the balloons deflated. It just seemed to her like a bit of an anti-climax. Besides, this was something she could do, a small satisfaction she could offer quite happily.
Of course, she might need a few pointers. She didn't have a lot of experience in these things—well, like any, really—but how hard could it be? She was sure Micah would help her, since the other reason she was bouncing was because she had managed to build up the nerve to talk to Micah about extending her time as his submissive. Temporarily, of course. But they had managed to come to a mutual agreement that he would continue as her Dom for one month with the option to extend that period on a monthly basis until such time as Charlotte felt she was ready to move on. The proviso was that Micah would continue to try and find a suitable pairing for Charlotte and she, in return, would consider his suggestions seriously and be open to the idea of playing with whichever Doms Micah gave his permission to. Apparently, that kind of 'sharing' was considered perfectly normal and acceptable to this lifestyle. And strangely, Charlotte didn't find herself opposed to the idea. It provided her with the ultimate security, the chance to 'try-before-you-committed-yourself-to-someone-who-wouldn't-take-no-for-an-answer' and still have the overall protection of a 'foster' Dom, as it were. It seemed like a win-win position to Charlotte, anyway.